Tummy ache

I feel rubbish, this isn't normal.........i've been off it for I reckon, nearly 2 weeks now.
NO I'm not up'duff.
NO good, I want to be well again, I'm not a sicky person, I have the constitution of an ox....Usually, maybe I have caught big girls blouse disease from AP, note to self... Phone mother later and tell her about my bowel movements.

So my week so far, hang on to your seats....Tuesday lunchtime, was taken out to dine by off sick boyfriend sporting his blue splint, had a lovely lunch in Spoons, didn't want to go back to work though, boo hiss!

Tuesday evening, did nothing but lie on the sofa and feel sorry for myself.

Wednesday..Took some Andrews health salts for breakfast (this is on top of Altacite plus, pepto bismal, paracetamol, Indian tonic water, all taken over the last few days, ALL having nil effect).
Did no work, just walked around the office, wining...........Called at Morrisons at lunch for supplies, then took myself off home at 3.30pm, was in bed from 4-6, had to get up or i wouldn't have slept that night.
Had a spot of tea..........(note, illness not putting me off my fodder), had a rubbish night, no Desperate Housewives.......Finished book the previous night, so started a new one.

God I'm boring myself writing this, don't know about you lot reading it!

Thursday, felt crap 1st thing but threw myself into work with Gusto, we really need some gear, business is very quiet and I need some commission as I've spent all my spare cash on fridge/freezer.
Felt better at lunchtime, as I dined with Mr.Porrait again in Leeds train station weatherspoons. He loves my work and comes in and talks shop wi lads,(but not Mick, the warehouse manager, he only arrived at 2pm yesterday as he's been in the cells for harassing his ex.wife)........ tee hee very funny!
Worked all yesterday afternoon, v.busy indeed, home at t.time......took bin up, bath, fake-tanned, shifted washing from airer, having a t.v dinner when Andy arrived at the 7!! Watched t.v, ligged about, went upstairs for some standing up jogging, then BB came on, i was transfixed, I'm SO into it, he tolerated it for as long as possible, it got to near the end and he chirps up "I've had about enough as I can take of this shit, I'm off home to watch darts".............hahhaaaaaa!!!
I then decided to pull out old fridge/freezer and clean behind it.
Bed to read, ooh new book had got me hooked already.

Friday...That would be today, feel as sick as a dog...Again! But want to go out tonight, have txt Tina and not got a reply..........Ruth is brassic!....we'll see!
I arrived 10 mins late today, 1st job of the day was to make 7 cheese toasties for various staff, then go get David hayfever tablets, my email is jammed as i've sent 100's of mails all in one go, I've read Sam's blog about the humpty dumpty drama and can't email her back..........grrr!!!!

So who knows what lies ahead for the weekend, have succumbed and phoned the Doctors even though I know he will take my blood pressure, I got the very last appointment of the day and Dr.Greenwoods very last appointment ever, as he retires today......blimey he's been my Doctor for 37yrs!!

Nothing to say

I don't want to do any work and David's back (well for a week, he's taking his Harley to Spain next Tuesday for 3 weeks), he's on the war path, made us clean the entire office this morning, screaming "why do you always have to wait until i explode to get anything done".............thing is, it's not me, I'm the tidiest person in the world, well after Whitter and most OCD sufferers.
Tis done now, but the reason i am blogging when I've nothing to say, is i look busy.............i could be typing anything!

What have i done in the last 24hrs?
Well i came to work, blogged all yesterday morning, went to M&S for David his diet food (55 calorie bread, pink grapefruit, tomatoes and chicken fillets), nipped to bank and drew £300 out, then went to order my fridge/freezer at dinner time, called and got Leigh's dinner at boots, a few bits of make-up for me and some shamp and cond.

Afternoon, took the bank, called at the accountants, then we listened to Mark's talented 4yr old son Joshua on Radio Leeds, reeling off all the football scores of every match played so far, all the England squad and other world cup trivia (he's in the Yorkshire evening post tonight, so buy it and vote for him).

4pm arrived and it was pens down for the football, called at Mum's on the way home, she was OUT again, this is getting beyond a joke, i have only seen her for 1/2hr in the last 18 days! nipped home, washed and changed, sorted cats.......then went back to Mum's at 7.30pm (when she was home from the tea bar), phoned Steven in advance to see he wanted to share a Chinky.
So i was golden girl, £12.50 down though, but we also shared with Marlo, my fortune cookie says that luck is on it's way, so i'm waiting with baited breath.

Showed Mum and Dad the holiday snaps, shaved Steven's back....random! (who's asked me to go to Cork with him, yippee), then we just chatted for an hour, Marlo "loved" it at my house, her and the cats had quite a little routine going, she ate her tea with Jim every night, left him to wash up and nicked off to my house to watch videos and chill out, bless her!

Ruth and Mark arrived to return the carpet shampooer, Ruth had a post world cup celebratory accident, that involved herself and the rug.

Home for 9pm, p.j's, BB, BB's Big brain ( i knew that Aisleyne was up to no good, the Witch), bed to read. I had horrible tummy ache and got up at 1.20am for Pepto Bismal..............rubbish, still feeling off it today.
Don't know whether it's booze and junk food or awaiting the monthlies...................boo!

So my weeks, weekend, near future plans............nothing, nada, none, i don't have one appointment in my diary, which is a good thing, as home and rest is best.........ooh tell a lie Andy is taking me out to lunch today ( a week off sick has it's advantages) and the man from Curry's is coming on Saturday, Me and Rich are having a little wager that it'll be delivered before 4pm!

Dentist, hair dye, weeding and sick notes!

On Friday, as i'd been back at work for all of ooh 2 1/2 days, i left work at 11.30am (as that's not cheeky) to schlep over the Pennines to Dr. Sugdens dental surgery, i had a filling finished off, (i thought he'd actually completed it last time i went!!), while i was waiting for the injection to kick in i nipped to the loo, Chris let me use the staff toilet and told me to wait in the staff room, instead of going into the common waiting room.....anyhow i think i took a wrong turn, as i was sat on some students sofa as she waltzed in and stared agog and made some noise like "ooh"..........me red faced, making a hasty exit!!!

He must have had a bit of spare time on his hands as he gave me a free scale and polish and sent me on my merry way, like a fool i missed the Leeds turn off and ended up in central Manchester V. lost and cursing, finally got home at 2.30pm, with a full bladder and a wee head ache, nipped in home, emptied bladder then went to tescos for Andy's water (he's as bad as Nicky, what's wrong with the tap stuff?) wine, milk and other essentials like chocolate éclairs. Back home and unpacked shopping, then tackled my roots.....while tint was processing, cleaned out cupboard at the bottom of the stairs to put my tumble dryer in (this is so when i buy my new tall, American fridge freezer today, with it's own water dispenser there is room for it in the kitchen).....yippee!

Where was i? oh yeah, threw loads of junk away, old briefcase, lamp, pictures, all sorts of crap i'd shoved in there, anyhow it is now very tidy and is housing tumble dryer, tent, sleeping bags, t.v, DVD and video player, ironing board etc!
Andy phoned to say, the tiny lump on his arm (i am talking tiny), was a ruptured tendon and he'd be to the hospital, got it in a splint and a weeks sick note thank you very much! How is that fair???
Let the cats out to play and swept path, to glares from Tony over the fence (it's hairdye, get over it), Sam called for a wee chat as she couldn't reply to my email as she'd been "working from home", tried to talk me into ganning round Derby that night (if i hadn't just done a 3hr round trip to Wilmslow i might have considered it!), so i showered and washed tint off, got in my p.j's and ironed from 6pm-8pm, that would be 2 pairs of combats, 8 skirts and 20 asstd tops.....phew! glad that's over and done with! as a treat i had an M&S sweet and sour chicken, egg flied lice, prawn crackers and spring rolls......Mmmm! watched BB, 8 out of 10 cats, BB and the Friday night project while guzzling wine like water, fell into bed, one very happy bunny at 1ish. God.. domesticity......love it!


Saturday, ligged in my pit till after lunch, laid there as long as i could, as i knew as soon as i got up i had to cut the grass (it's a mans job, goddamit)......1 hr later, all trimmed and weeded, garden looking spiffing, Tony staring agog again! fuckoff, haven't you ever seen anyone mow the lawn in their pyjamas before?
Matt didn't need a lift as Woz was fetching him, so called at my Mother's twice, she was out! grr! opted for a fish butty and a trip to Birstall retail park, compared prices of my new toy in comet and curry's, then looked in Next as i still have my birthday vouchers to spend, didn't buy anything but am thinking about a new rug, but don't want to rush into anything!

Thought i'd have an hours kip afterwards, so read under the quilt a while, until Andy phoned 6 times and txt me to tell me he was at the club, then Matt phoned to find out where i was, so got a wriggle on and went to the sportsclub, it was an okay night, Matt was mullered as he'd been on the pop since 1.30pm.......Andy also was 5 pints in front of me, had a few, chatted to Gill and Dave, saw middle brother at some randoms wedding in the function room, chatted more to Gill and Dave, yes your son does look like the terminator with his arm in that blue splint!
About 10ish i'd had enough, felt a bit sick, Matt was happy as a sand boy and was telling anyone who'd listen about sticking your finger up mens arses, safe sex, being promiscuous and a whole host of other v.loud topics, this is inbetween telling Dave P, not to worry if he gets made redundant! taxi.
Begged AP to take me home, got in at 10.30pm and showed him a real good time to compensate! slept soundy for at least 12hrs with a short intermission for more horizontal jogging!

Andy left,( i couldn't sleep any longer as the next door neighbours were errecting a new shed, it's massive i'm sure they should have applied for planning permission) i stripped the bed and did some washing with it being Sunday..........back in the routine, Woz and Caroline were having an England party, 30 folk and dogs running around, i opted to watch the match in a pub like a normal person, so met Ruth, Mark, Dean, Rach, Tina and Spug in the Ring o'bells at 3.30pm, after i'd wolfed a half hearted cooked breakfast down.
Had an ace time, although couldn't hear ourselves think for Caron from body and soul's laugh, had a few pints, Rach and Dean toddled off home for tea, the rest of us, went to the punch bowl as they had a live band on..........ooh! shame about the drug addict audience!
Katy phoned me to see if i was going on to the party (she was wondering if me and Andy were okay as i didn't watch the match with him last Tuesday either). Felt really guilty, but also a bit torn as i'd not seen Ruth in ages, decided to go to the party, then meet them lot later on, but my plans all went a bit tits up.

When i arrived, Deano was hosting a game of, run through the gravel soaked in dog wee wearing only your socks, spin round, touch the weelie bin and catch a piece of manhandled cold beefburger in your mouth...........i'll give it a miss thanks!
Most people were drunk, Katy pounced on me and grilled me over Andy, who was strangely quiet and distant (stop it, you're only adding fuel to the fire), he then went inside to watch more football, so i was going to finish my can of stella and go back to the pub without telling him, that'll show him!
Fortunately he must have sensed this as he came out and sat with me,i then felt i had to leave when he did or people would definitely think something was up, so we shared a cab, a fooking Rudie cab at that! he was okay in the taxi, said he was tired so went off to his bed and probably a long lie in this morning, a fooking week off sick, HOW is THAT fair????

I have given the blog a revamp

I've also removed all the names of people who don't blog anymore, ya lazy fuckers!!!

So, we're all settled back into the swing of things, have had a lovely couple of days.

Did feck all at work yesterday, spent all morning blogging, then fetched my photos...Including the one of AP in the sea "get your camera and take my photo." Grr!

Matt phoned last night after tea and inbetween the 2 BB's, had a very lazy night, pressing the sofa after pie and chips, also gave wardrobe a bit of a cleanse, well removed 8 pairs of jeans and put them in a drawer!
This is so when I have ironed my holiday clothes.........Ah! perish the thought!
Anyhow what about the double finale of DHW'S? Oh my, I wonder how long we'll have to wait for the next series?
Then I read some of my birthday book and slept very soundly for 7 1/2hrs!

Today i'm bright as a button (that doesn't mean clever as in academic, it means chipper), the lads have the footie on, i've been shopping, bought scrummy M&S ready meals and Molly's birthday present..........is she 13 or 14 this time round? Scarey!!!!!

I've also had to take my car back for a part ordering, i've managed to snap the handle off the glovebox.........oops! also scratched all the fooking front bumper, getting in and out of "drive", that stupid cunt at no.1 had parked so i couldn't even get in last night, he was trying to be all pleasant "oh i'm sick of leaving my car up there it gets filthy, i'll have it moved by 6.30am tomorrow".......move it now you specky cunt!

Breath deep........
Changing the subject,what's happened to the weather? i'm wanting to be BBQing again soon, grr!
Weekend plans, well tonight..with it being weekend eve, Andy coming up after cricket, not seen him since the jollies have had a bit of me time :o)

No plans for tomorrow, other than the dentist.....i think i'm having a check up, not entirely sure!
Saturday, Matt is coming home as Woz is having a football party on Sunday....WTF?

We are at present, fratching about what time i am kindly picking him up from the train station !!

Matt thinks t.time is 1pm.........wonder what time he eats his breakfast?

They're alright are the French, but they're just not as good as us!

Right...i'll try not to bore you with a lengthy post, but I've a lot to say.

The weekend pre-the holidays, panned out a little like this.

Friday 9th... me and AP met the other 19 of Clare's birthday guests in the Commercial to go to the Comedy club, had 2 pints in there and ended up in a round with Deano, tragic!
Was an ace night, the 3 comedians were average, but the more drunk you got the funnier they seemed.

We were all mullered, ended up in the nightclub attached, Deano hid my shoe for a change,when all us girls were dancing, it was messy messy messy!
We were the 1st to leave flagged down a cab outside and were in bed for 12.30.

Saturday 10th...Did jobs in the day, ironing and stuff, went to Nic's for waxing, drove to the club at t.time to be greeted by lots of pissed up people post the England match, nipped to take Steven to the golf club, then dropped car home, cabbed back to club, only myself and the boys who'd been cricketing managed to stay out later than 10pm, ended up drinking with AP, Blacky, Shak and Deano.
Went to the REGAL, then back to the Rose and Crown to have a last one in the beer garden at god knows what time.

Sunday 11th...Andy was off early to watch the rugby on Sky, i had a lie in, finished the ironing, grabbed a quick snack, called at the parents, then was meant to nip in Gomersal cricket club for a couple of shandys as it was Steven's birthday and he'd been in there celebrating for the last 6hrs, Ruth followed me home, i dropped the car off and ended up drunk as trousers for the 3rd night in a row.
Oh yeah, Ruth picked a very drunk AP up from the Rose and Crown and brought to the CC for a few more, i got pizza, Ruth very kindly taxied us to takeaways and our respective homes. Ate 1/2 my pizza and was in bed for 11pm.

Monday 12th.........holidays!!!! Andy had gone to Sid's funeral in the morning :o( not a nice start to the jollies, it was nearly 1pm when he got back, my mad Father was taking us to the airport, you are literally taking your life in your own hands getting in Jim's car!! he'd also brought along a 90yr old golfer for the run out! wtf???
Made it there in one piece, checked in (paid my £5 for my case being 1kg overweight......the cunts!), then headed for the bar, got sat with some randoms, some old timer Andy bowled with who knew Grandad Ronnie and a couple who used to live next door to the Worrall's!
Had 5 pints and was happy as a sand boy on the flight, Nice airport was deserted and before we knew it we'd got our cases, been picked up and dropped at the campsite, i'd unpacked and we were in the campside bar...........slippery slide, had burger and chips, loads more beer and don't remember going to bed!

Tuesday 13th...Awoke at 5am, laid awake ages, finally dropped off, then was woken at 9.15am, by some noisy French cunt and his Dad playing Badminton, very vocally outside our caravan. Made Andy get up and come to the campshop, got essentials and much needed loo roll, had cheese and ham with batons outside in the sunshine, did very little the 1st day, walked to the beach, swam in the pool, had a bit of holiday nookie, then went to the bar area, with the intention of having "a few"....what a tragic mess, we declared the beer was rank, so guzzled 3 litres of the local vino between us after a substantial meal of omelette and salad.............we were both in bed for 11pm, blind with drink!

Wednesday 14th..oh dear! Even slept through noisy cunt Xavier and his racquet sports, we were ill, still managed a shag though, but didn't go outside till 4pm, set off to the pool, Andy blew chunks everywhere so we headed back and stayed indoors all day, i even fetched him a paper as he was so ill, went to get a takeaway at 8ish, i bought a bottle of wine from the bar, which was corked, i was later to regret drinking it all anyway. Spent the evening listening to Riviera radio, reading and doing crosswords.

Thursday 15th, Andy was on the mend and i was as ill as can be, sacked off breakfast, got the bus into Antibes and bought some medicine for 17 Euros, felt a tad better and we had an extravagant meal in a Greek restaurant, lamb, steak and chicken fillets skewered with saffron rice....well nice!
Got the bus back, got more supplies from the campshop, had a swim, then a shag, got ready and waddled to the bar to watch the Ingerland match, watched it...drinking pop...reight do, then spent 20 euros on meat and went back to caravan for a fat bastard BBQ, fit to burst, read a bit and 1 went to bed at 10pm like a little old lady and left AP doing the crossword without me.

Friday 16th..felt much better, was awoken again by the noisy French twat at 9.15am, had coffees and got ready for our day out, tried not to laugh out loud when Andy phoned his Mum to ask her what to do about the shits, walked to the train station, it took 1hr to get to Monte Carlo...........outstanding, got very lost getting out of the train station into the Cliffside lifts, had an Italian meal, the best Tagliattelle Carbonara i have ever tasted and ice-cream to die for.
Spent a couple of hours sightseeing, it was fooking scorching, got the train back at t.time, quick swim, got ready and got the train into Juan les Pain for a romantic evening meal, dinner on the beach, was very nice indeed and so it should be at 70 Euros, mooched about, then Andy dragged me into a casino, where he joined to be a member while i played on slot machines ... i didn't have a clue how they worked, ended up with a cup full of change, cashed it in while i was ahead, he lost 50euros, we got the train back at 11.20pm, where he was mute all the way home, as we'd bought single tickets instead of return and he thought he was going to jail, he cheered up no end when we got away with it, back to the caravan, had coffees, read and bed for midnight, 2 nights on the trot with no booze, what's going on?

Saturday 17th..We decided to use up the left over BBQ food, so we had sausage sarnies for breakfast, once up and dressed, mosied back to the train station and chose to go to Cannes, v.impressive, the wealth would take your breath away.
Walked again for 2 hours in the baking heat, had sticky French pastries and cans of pop, train back at t.time, shagged, swam, ligged about, looked around the funfair but i wouldn't go on anything as i'm a yellow bellied chicken, back to the campsite bar, watched the footie, then had a set menu meal in the Restaurant which was good value and nice food, but we were in there 2 fooking hours, had quite a bit of wine, but didn't get drunk, in bed for 12ish!

Sunday 18th..as we'd loads of cash left we thought we'd go into Nice and go on a mad shopping spree, after Andy returned from the shop with bacon, more sausages and crusty bread that is! set off at 1ish, arrived in the afternoon, walked for ages to soon realise all the shops were SHUT as it was Sunday...doh! so we spent next to nowt, well the price of 2 Mcflurrys to be precise..........walked around again for 2 hrs or so sightseeing and taking photos, dodging the beggers,then back to our little mobile home, did some horizonatal jogging and swimming, then had some wine in the bar............about 9ish we ventured to an all you can eat for 25 euros continental buffet near the train station, ate shit loads, Andy had 2 plates of starters, chicken, potato gratin and 8 pieces of fish, with a vanilla slice, chocolate roll and caramel choux bun for after, waddled back to the site, where i had to go to the bar all night as he'd eaten so much, he had to undo the button on his shorts!! got quite pissed watching the footie, bed again for midnight.

Monday 19th...last day of the jollies, off he set again early door to the camp shop for his bacon.
Decided to go in the sea after breakfast, oh it wa awful.........really pebbly, then when you got in it was so deep all at once, you couldn't touch the floor, it was really choppy and i was scared after 10mins so tried to get out, unfortunately 2 huge waves knocked me over twice when i tried to scramble up the shore, in front of all the sunbathers, there was me, coughing and spluttering, with seawater running down my nose, looking like a pasty beach whale, made it back to my towel, tried to compose myself, while Andy's holloring "are you alright?, get the camera and take my photo"...cunt!
Back at the van, had a last bit of holiday nookie, packed, cleaned up, then at 3pm, went to watch the football and have shandy, the courier picked us up at 5.30pm and took us back to Nice airport, queued for fooking ever to check our bags in, then blew 253 Euros in the duty free, yippee!
Had a quick burger and chips, i demolished a bottle of wine, to banish all fears of flying "i aint getting on no plane" said in my best BA voice.
The flight home was fine, although i did have my eyes closed for the 1st hour, got our cases and Dave P picked us up at 9.30pm, turned down his invite of a cup of tea and a bite to eat at thiers, so was back for 10pm, fussing cats like mad, while unpacking and putting the washer on, getting in clean pyjamas and being Soooo glad to be home!

Tuesday 20th..had the day off yesterday to recover and do washing, did just that, 3 more wash loads (how have 1 managed to wear 17 tops in a week?),had a Metcalfs pork pie,then to Mum's to take her her JPS (for catsitting) and Jim's whiskey (for a belated Father's day pressie), she was off to do her Samaritans or what ever she does at the hospital, so chatted to Steven for 2 hours who'd also just got home for holiday. Went to Morrisons, home, had chilli and tiger bread followed by exotic fruit salad, Andy phoned to see if i wanted to watch the match at the club.................nope, i'm sick of the sight of you, leave me in peace, i am spending quality time with my cats and pyjamas! not really..........well okay yeah, a little bit of the truth shining through there, tee hee!
Stayed up really late watching BB and double Lost.

Back to it today, yippee...............routine, love it!

Its quiet without Karen

Can't wait for her to get back is its very boring without her.

I'd try and entertain you but tales of staying in watching BB and trying not to spend the very little money I have is hardly gripping stuff.

Payday tomorrow, 9 hours of drinking and a fun weekend of bingo and BBQs is coming up though so hopefully I'll have more to say next week.

Dull dull dull

Well I have nothing to tell you.

Last week I was laid up poorly. I had a fever, massive glands and a sore throat. Cooked some pork and that truly was the highlight of the weekend. I didn't go out and I just slept and watched Telly.

Monday, I went out with Jan, had a few with her and ended up staying out till 2am as I bumped into Jodey but he dudn't come home with me so I went home alone and read till 3 instead.

Tuesday, Andrew and I went for a walk by the canal which was nice and then we went to see Xmen 3.

Wednesday, went out with Janet - she bought me eat as much Chinese (I had: duck and pancakes, breaded king prawns, pad thai, sweet and sour pork, beef with vegetables, prawn toast, special fried rice, chow mein, chinese vegetables, lemon chicken, spring rolls, squid, seaweed and to finish, Jelly and Ice Cream!! Yum.

Last night met up wioth Andrew, had 3 pints with him. He wenrt to work, so I karaoked. Bumped into Nicole the tranny. Stayed out till 2am sniffing after a nice boy who's 18th birthday it was and who's birthday I'd made by singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". Anyway it all went to shit so I got a garlic bread, went home and watched telly, falling asleep and only waking at 06.30.

This weekend's plans - watching TV, avoiding the World Cup and the sun.

I'm NOT a celebrity get me out of here

The sooner i am let out of this loony bin the better.

Hopefully we are leaving at 4pm today because of the world cup............every cloud.

It's been an okay day, am smiley and smug as i break up at t.time.
Had a good nights sleep last night after doing my 1 million jobs, it took me an hour to put chimnea together, very tricky with rubbish instructions.
Oh yeah i got home last night and Alan has knocked half my fence down, removed my gate and gravelled all the side of the house (later to be tarmaced) for me to park my car on, so i had no gate all last night, i was convinced that wolves would get in and steal all my prize garden possessions (which lets face it, have cost me more than anything in my house),it was all still in tact this morning though.......phew!......as i was up with the larks pegging washing out.

Where was i? oh yeah, let me the fuck out of here.. i mean it, David has been on a business lunch, has necked a bottle of rioja.........came back slurring his words, took his shirt off, went outside and fell asleep in his England chair........THEN woke up, came in and went into the loo and showed all the boys his mental hard on, i feel sick, i want to cry, i need Andy to come get me.
He is at present, back in the carpark in just his boxer shorts going through all the reps commissions.

So...Au revoir Fernway, i won't miss you....i'm off on my holidays with Mr.Porrait as soon as the weekend is over and done with, i don't mean to wish it all away,i mean i'm looking forward to the Jongleurs tonight, meeting at 7pm in the commercial, AP coming at 6.30pm, so we can walk down in the sunshine and get a quick shandy in.
Happy days!!!!

Motivated business woman is no more

Today i am exhausted, i could cry I'm so tired, the heat's not helping, I'm so foul and I'm taking no shit from noone........... but saying all that last night was well worth it.
Partying mid-week just knocks me for 6. Oh i love BBQ's though.............Andy turned up first to do his manly duties of lighting the thing, he looks so fit in his shorts, i could have jumped his bones there and then.
Luckily Katy and Grant arrived, then Ruth and Mark followed by John and Clare..........clicky i know, but just the right number for a school night soiree, keeping the mess to a minimum and the volume down to keep on the right side of neighbours.
I thought i'd done far too much food, 3 steaks, 6 pieces of chicken, 5 burgers, 4 kebabs, 6 lamb chops, 30 assorted sausage, bread buns and salad, all the meat went.........we were like locusts..madness!

I insisted on lighting the patio heater and halogen lantern even though it wasn't dark or cold. And i played magic 828 station all night as i am old..........love it!
So a good time was had by all, people started to disperse at 10-10.30ish, by the time i'd got the cats in, packed up, washed up and sided it was midnight, oh me............i'd had far too many coronas and feel rubbish today.

I've so much to do tonight and i've upset Steven, i don't care though i'm sick of dancing to his tune, i've not seen him since April, but he wants me to shave his back tonight and get a chinese and take his shorts up for him to try on and if they don't fit swap them in time for his holidays on Monday.
I aren't, i've to get home, call for a sunbed, take the bin to the main road, have a bath, shave bits, fake-tan, water garden, feed cats, strip bed, do last minute holiday washing, put clean bedding on, side all spare chairs back in shed, build new chimnea,(plus i saved some chilli salmon burgers for tonights tea), BUT he won't get a chinese at my house as he's to water Marlene's plants! FUCK HIM!!!!!

God i'm a tired nasty bastard.

Right peeps!

This week i am mostly being, assertive, professional, high flying? business woman!
I kid you not, I'm so wired.....you'd think i'd been snorting Daz.

The thing is you see, the fooking taxman is now taking most of my not so hard earned cash, down to new car and also the fact i didn't pay tax on my fuel benefit last year, so basically i need to earn a good amount of commission every month, to be able to live comfortably without dipping into my savings or..........cough splutter Andy moving in and we go halves on all the bills! ponder ponder!

So Monday, i made the decision to do work in-between blogging, daydreaming, emailing all my friends and shopping.
Which is quite difficult, when you work here.......i am not exaggerating now, my "boss" is wearing a swag England hat, has woken up from sunbathing in the car park in a slightly mischievous mood and taken the handbrake off Mark's car and has pushed it about 20yrds, came in the office screaming "someone's nicking your car".

The other 3 boys in the office are discussing what would tempt them "not" to watch the match on Saturday, b.j's from Kelly Brooke and a golf match with Tiger Woods are both in the running.

Oooh Andy just phoned (speaking of sports addicts), to see if i'll get him some travel insurance as he hasn't had time..........NO I'm busy and important at my job, plus my car is in the garage (recalled all C4's, summert to do with the airbag), so i'll have to walk to the post office............oh go on then!...........the things you do for love!

Anyhow, my week......as a professional business woman...tee hee!
Monday did the usual in the evening.......but so much nicer when the sun is shining, so i watered the garden in my p.j's, let the cats play out until the 9pm, had scampi and chips, then big chats with Sam after BB, was so hyper, stayed up very late, read in bed and didn't switch the bedside lamp off till well after 1am.

Happy, smiley and motivated all day Tuesday, i was a woman on a mission........Matt talked me through how to email all my contacts, making it look like i'd only sent the mail to them, 2hrs and 520 emails later (yes i know i sent one to every person in my address book including all my mates, but i couldn't be assed to filter them), still had v.funny replies from a few, Helen wanting to sell Gilly and Sophie for 79p each, people suggesting i was on glue or drugs, funniest was 3 bellies, offering me surplus crap boyfriend,her spare tyres,the dirty dishes from the sink and the word Mug from her forehead! all for a bargain price of......well open to any offers really!

Didn't stop all day, got a few BBQ bits at lunch and Steven some birthday shorts for his holidays at lunch, then worked like a trogon all afternoon, I'm dizzy with all the stock I've been inundated with and am taking a break to blog and save my sanity.

Yesterday evening i was still wizzing my tits off, sorted spare table, chairs, watered garden, then got all BBQ grub ready, Burgers, Sausage, Lamb shish kebabs, lamb chops, hickory smoked steaks, Chinese chicken, salads.. ooh allsorts!
Then realised i had nothing in for tea, ate a birds eye chicken curry, which tasted like chip shop curry sauce, bleuk!
Sided washing from airer, watched EE, Holby, BB and double Lost till midnight, was still wide eyed so read till 1am.

Have not calmed down one iota today, hi-per-ac-tiv!!!!! I'll be so worn out i'll be ready for my jollies.
Rest of the weeks plans?
Tonight, we're having an exclusive BBQ, with the chosen few.........I'm in charge of the cheese slices (it's a much safer cheese).
No plans tomorrow.
Friday, Clare's birthday night out at the Jongleurs.
Football Saturday.
Steven's birthday Sunday.
HOLIDAYS Monday...........yippee!

Marlene is replacement cat-sitting (how cute is my Mum), and is to stay at the cottages for the week, having an ikkle holiday away from Jim..........reight do!

The weekend

Friday..i took a half day sabbatical, David was golfing so i nicked off home let the cats out, went for a sun-bed, then spent 2 fooking hours in R&K's getting my hair highlighted for it not to look any different, home at 6.50pm, £37 lighter, i phoned the Porritt and got a wriggle on, ate some microwave pizza shit, then we walked into town to meet Spug at 8pm in spoons.

It was rammed, you couldn't hear yourself think, we had 1, waited till 1/2 past, she didn't show so we shuffled off to the Commercial and had 1 in there, called back in spoons and had a look round to see if Tina, Beth or Spug were in there, we couldn't see anyone, so we plonked in the Old house at home for the rest of the night, when i say the rest of the night, AP was shitfaced after 4 pints, i had to take him home after 5 as he was trying to put his hand up my skirt in the middle of the pub.
Anyhow Spug, Hayley, James, Tina, Beth and Rachel all showed up around 9.45pm, so we chatted to them for an hour before they went to the Station then we got a cab home, where Andy tried to take my knickers off in the back garden........the pisshead!
Had a jump and asleep before 11.30pm.

Saturday was a lovely day, Andy got up at 1/4 to 9 after a shag to go shopping for holidays clothes, being a nice kind girlfriend i offered to go with him and make sure he got the right shade of navy blue for every item he purchased.............NOT, i rolled over and slept till 12! yippee!
Had 2 coffees, mowed the lawn, weeded the garden, cut a huge bush down, then Marlo came visiting.....bless! with cakes and beach towels for me to borrow, we had more coffee with cake and sat out, it was such a scorcher!, did 3 loads of washing, even managed to dry all bedding on the line......domestic bliss!
Phoned Matt for an hour, then had some chilli for tea, got ready and cabbed to the club. Got a pint of shandois and was pounced on by Gill P, went outside and stood and talked to Dave, Gill, John and Clare........Andy came back from Manningham mills, defeated, got a pint and sat with Blacky??! that's right you dick, leave me with your parents on my own! struth!!!!!

After asking me 46 questions and buying me another pint, G&D went home and Andy came over.....wtf?
All the girls had been boozing since 2 and were well on their way, Katie took Ozzy home, me, Caroline, Debbie, Clare and Tracy, went inside soon to be followed by, Deano, AP, JP and Blacky..had a few in there, then moved to the Commical, had a quick chat with Clare Westlake.....then we all plonked in the Rose and Crown till midnight..........lots of drunkenness ensued, Deano hid my shoe, i had Debbie in 1 ear telling me about when Marshy 1st dumped her and Clare in the other telling me about her Dad having a brain haemorrhage in the US, oh it was messy, Scary Julia was there waffling about utter tripe, it's all a bit blurry i remember walking to the taxi rank, but i don't remember leaving or really getting home, i know i wanted to be sick but couldn't so i crawled under the quilt and collapsed unconscious...........much safer!!

Sunday..awake early doors for more jogging, then we slept till 12 again, Andy went off home to lie on the sofa and watch sky sports, i went to Tescos to stock up on cat food, cat litter, loo rolls, washing powder and other drek that i degrudge buying....i.e none of them taste nice!
Home, had some breakfast watched EE omnibus, was v.bored as i'd done all my washing on Saturday, so took myself off to the Showcase and watched United 93 (v.harrowing, ooh there were tears).
Home for 7.15pm, had a horrible duck noodle thinging...........bleuk! , bath, p.j's, was going to phone Sam back but Ruth came a visiting....hurrah!
We nattered an hour or so, she left at 10.30pm, i had a bit of wine and watched all the BB's on E4....didn't go to bed until 1.30am.....ooh i'm bad to the bone!
Feeling quite chipper today though, only this week to work, then off to the Souf of France, where i'm hoping to make a friend as AP is intending to sit in a bar for an entire week watching the footie! ooh boys!

I am a dull fooker

I'm going to be doing some weeing in bins tonight to compensate!

Tuesday...after the bank holiday was a quiet one. Work was good, i went into town at lunch, took some jeans back and was looking for new clobber for my holidays, as my wardrobe isn't bursting with new clothes and shoes.
Did jack shit in the evening, fooking sunbeds were closed as Nic is on holiday, so fired home and dismantled the demic patio heater and loaded it in the carboot, had some more of my birthday liver, on it's own raw for tea...not really!
OOh it warra boring night, EE, Holby, BB, Max and Paddy, bed and finished my book.


Wednesday...threw the heater in works skip, i was very tired all day, after rubbish nights kip. Called at Readmans and purchased brand spanking new heater, David went out in the afternoon, so assembled it in the office in works time...reight do!
Hooked it up to the gas once home, pottered and had a t.v dinner as couldn't be assed to cook, oh my god M&S sweet and sour chicken, spring rolls, egg fried rice and prawn crackers...it's the future i've tasted it.
Ate my body weight in chocolate biscuits afterwards as due on and allowed to, Andy stared agog at how little self respect i have and is secretly planning to chuck me before i start baring my flesh in France.
Watched the box all night, was cross as i'd watched DHW's on Sunday, so nowt to watch at 10pm, started new book Sam got me for my Bday......v.good!

Thursday...Have been bored at work this week, emailed MJ and Sarah who's not been seen or heard for donkeys years, poor Sarah and her studying.
Bought a couple of t.shirts and 2 sunhats in Next and some supplies from Morrison's, the funniest thing in the world happened yesterday afternoon.
This woman from Bedford phoned us to say that a "blue lighter" had blown up in her husbands face when he was trying to refill it and it had singed all his fringe and burnt his hand, she didn't know what make it was or where it was purchased as it used to be her Dad's, but what were we going to do about it? she was threatening to Sue.............i can't remember when i last laughed so hard.
Not the fact that her Husband was hurt, but by all accounts, she'd phoned 118118 asked for manufacturers of lighters and GOT OUR NUMBER......WTF?
Leigh had her on loud speaker, she was f*ing and blinding, Paul locked himself in the back room and i cried all my mascara off.

Home, sunbeds shut...again!! took bin out, sided all clothes from airer, changed bedding again.....fooking cat hair! did howge pile of ironing, resisted the temptation to get my case out and start putting things in like a sad feck, bath, shaved bits, fake tanned and by the time i'd eaten my salmon and steamed veg it was 8.50pm, oh me the night is over.......well BB, book and bed, slept a good 8hrs and feel marvellous this morning!

Lovely sunny day today, am in high spirits as it's the weekend and only 10 days to my jollies.
Leaving work at 4pm to go for my hair doing (having foils with all different blonds and am pooing it, AP has been instructed to say it looks lovely whatever!) so we're off out tonight as not forking out £60 to sit inside with expensive hairdo...........other than that no weekend plans..........hurrah! just the way i like it.

Seazer to go..........we want Richard, we want Richard!