The last 2 weeks
Friday 11th
After a long day at the office (cough splutter) and to reward myself for losing a lb at fat club last night, thought i'd have a few sneaky G&T's while watching an old episode of the Street we'd sky plussed.......oh my god, it was the saddest thing i've ever seen, ended up blubbing like a baby. Good job Andy was in bed.......he'd gone to watch the darts at 8.30pm and promptly fallen asleep..........Jeez, i know you work hard, but it's Friday night!!!!
Saturday 12th
Thomas went to sleep at Gill and Dave's for the evening, so we could go out on the lash, picked Katy up in a taxi, then joined Caroline, Claire, Spug and Nicola......where we had a few sociable pots before getting a mini bus into town, dropping a pissed Andy and his kit bag at home.......struth!!!
Had an ace night, making the most of my twice monthly night out, by smoking 2 fags and guzzling magners (all thoughts of fat fighters had escaped me as i generously get the round of crisps in for moi, Caz, John, Claire and Waitey). Swapped diet tips with Mark...random!! Left the commy, Caroline dragged me up to the Station, we'd had far too much to drink already.....not to worry...Sis, Rach, Dean, Tina and the Vikes were in there, Ruth and Tina sang my name full blast to the tune of "go west" which doesn't fucking annoy me at all........much! all v.hazy, Caroline was telling me which naughty spoken for blokey had been coming on to her!!! tut tut!
Bed for 12.45am.
Sunday 13th
Hangover didn't kick in till 2pm, felt fab all morning, up with Tom Tom at 7am no problem!!
So was making the Sunday roast on go slow, roping Andy in to do pigs in blankets and Thomas to peel some spuds.
Note to self, when you've invited people to Sunday lunch do NOT go and get slaughtered the night before!!!
Lovely day, Clair and Steven arrived at 5pm, we all filled our boots, me and younger sibling firing claret down like it was Christmas, to gasps and mucho astonishment from the Evian drinkers, we booked Center Parcs for the end of June........Whoohoo! Clair took the mouse off me, as our budget holiday turned into a mini luxury spa with hydro baths a maid service and breakfast passes.......ah fuck it it's only money! no seriously the tell tale signed of me being squiffy, was when i entered the cars reg's and stated that both parties drove Escorts and we all lived at the same abode!
Time for bed Josephine!!
Monday 14th
Highlights of the day.
Our recycling bins were emptied and i died my roots.
Tuesday 15th
Made amends with Marlo after her cutting remarks and calls to Jeremy Kyle about me being an unfit Mother, well truth was Jimbo called me behind her back while she was at Batley Tescos, saying he'd have Tom for me if i wanted a swim....god bless my Father!
It was raining cats and dogs, was going to have a pyjama day but fook it, quick shop........had a couple of hours chatting with the old folk........they'd bought Thomas a chavtastic tracksuit on one of their many jaunts, utilising their free bus passes! tee hee!
Swam (can't manage a mile in the designated hour and was slightly peeved as i have a bit of OCD about doing exactly 48 lengths when i venture to Spen baths). Obsessive freak!! collected Son, nice afternoon pottering!
Wednesday 16th
Joined the baby club cousins for lunch, mayhem ensues when the Healey's get together, Thomas and i lead quite a serene life compared, anyhew it's nice to have company, other Mums in the same boat and all that, they are also doing the Slimming world diet so we had lots to talk about, Got there at 11.30am after making the next 2 days meals and pack ups.
It was green day (all carbs) for dinner, i have never seen as many jacket spuds, rice and pasta dishes on one table. Ate till i thought i would burst, no sooner had we finished, when Auntie Edith phoned to say Peter had kicked off as the kitchen was a mess....holy moly, what some people have to put up with (and i moan about Andy).
Ran Adele to Wakefield, bobbed my head round Grandmas bedroom door, she looked aged.....could have cried, there she was in her nightgown in the middle of the day asleep with some mutt on the bed.
I know she can't look after herself anymore, but is this till the end of her days? felt very ashamed i don't visit her more often.
Thomas slept all the way there and back, got back to Sarah's thinking at least they'd be an extra seat, oh no, Helen, her 2 boys and Uncle Dennis had shown up, it was like a fooking madhouse!!! I'm so not used to noise, fed Tom, left at 2.30ish and Morrisons on the way home.
Thurs 17th
Tom to Gill's, work and respite for me, a whole day...that's 8 1/2hrs mental space...heaven.
Off to fat club at 6pm, only lost 1/2lb, booze and buns to blame, vowed to have 100% next week.
Home after collecting Son from Grandparents at 7, stew, baths, bottles, madness....always sleep really well these days, i wonder why!!??!
Fri 18th
Nothing to report, work was the same old, bit of sourcing, few errands, lunch at the crown point retail park, buying shit in TKMaxx..Andy thought going back to work would curb my spending...mwahhhh!
Pleasant evening, washing, the box, Son to bed early, always worn after after being played with solidly for 2 days AP, got a chinky, i'm too fat for takeaways, resisted a sneaky Gin and the ones that follow.100% week you see!!! took myself off to Mothers to drop Steven and Clair some freebie works towels off and Vikes a Tykes a shirts, the Triv was out and Xmas atmos once again, knew i would be mighty peeved if Andy was at his folks playing board games with his family on a Friday night, while i was home alone babysitting the boy, so left early and in bed for 10pm, after folding 2 wash loads.
Saturday 19th
All started out well, i swim after rising at silly o'clock with the boy, bathing feeding and dressing him, enabling me to have 1 1/2hrs me time. Met Clair at the pool at 9am, had a merry old time laughing at club foot (a woman who swam with 1 foot in the air) and the woman and her 2 kids getting bollocked by the life guard for larking about........it's a serious exercise class, you silly mare!! bathed, changed, breakfasts, fed Tom, then went shopping just for something to do, got cot/bed sheets, Pyrex, deodorants, teatowels, Thomas more jeans and other drek we didn't need.
Called at Mums and fed Thomas, then home early evening, awaiting Potrats return to put him his pizza in after his usual Saturday "3 pints". Waited and waited and waited, Ruth txt at 9pm saying they were all at the club...cheers!!!. Turned off the oven, and being pre-menstrual, took a rather wobbly look at my life, felt a wee bit downtrodden as he was at the club having rugga bugga banter and pints of lager, i was in pj's, son in bed, can't have a ciggie, choccie or a bevvie. Took myself off to bed and fooking STEWED!!!
By the time he arrived home at 11pm, unable to stand, he got it both barrels right between the eyes and not a wet garment from the clothes airer in the spare room in sight!!!
Sunday 20th
All thoughts of his 60hr working weeks, the fact he gives me all his wages, never asks for anything, and is as faithful as a puppy......went out the window, couldn't prevent the steam from billowing out of my earholes, he made an appearance 3 hrs after we'd got up, couldn't trust myself to speak to him, was on Ruth's doorstep at 11am, (even though we'd stormed out, i managed to pack Tom's lunch and pasta in sauce and a nice muiller light for me). Stayed till 1pm, nipped to Boots, walked out of Toysrus as it was too busy, how Auntie Gill works there is any ones guess, then called and gave him his tea at Marlo's, Grandma was there wearing some drag pan stick and looking 20 years younger with her teeth in.
Home for 4pm, Andy had tidied up, washed up, fed cats, collected his kit from the club and managed to work the washer, he'd even called and bought me flowers from Tesco's.
Oh no that's right.......i've actually walked into the wrong house.
He'd actually not moved a muscle all day,ligged on the sofa, watching snooker, scratching his nads, THE THE THE ..........well, being a lady i won't repeat the words expelled from my mouth at 1o decibels.
Tears, more screaming, threats.........ooh it wasn't pretty.
Had a nice bath, talked calmly........explained in a child like manner, that it wasn't that he'd gone for beers, it was that he treat me like his mother, by not thinking he had to let me know. He took it all on the chin, said all the right things until i'd served up his Sunday dinner.
Punished him by making him watch Shirley Valentine, he guffawed all the way through, seeing uncanny resemblances between himself and the Husband Joe...(yes that's the whole point of you watching it). Still mad when we went to bed, but not as mad.........bloody men!
Monday 21st
Lovely, raining heavily so stayed indoors for the duration, just baking, playing with Thomas, few light chores...afternoon nap on the sofa, had to wake Tom at 4pm or he wouldn't have slept tonight the lazy little urchin.
So that's the lot, busy week ahead.
More swimming, lunching with the Healey's, shopping, need to pay Andy's stamp, fat club, but no work this week as we're off to Edinburgh.....yippee! Robert Burns birthday memoriam.
Can't wait, 2 nights in a 4 star hotel all paid for by the boyfriend i moan about so much, Mother having Thomas, Steven said Trisha and the camera crew were round yesterday getting her side of the story about me leaving Thomas so much. Grrrr! it's not healthy to have a clingy baby.
I'm a wonderful Mother, with a well rounded, well behaved, impecably turned out angel of a son!
Stick that in the end of your JPS and smoke it!
After a long day at the office (cough splutter) and to reward myself for losing a lb at fat club last night, thought i'd have a few sneaky G&T's while watching an old episode of the Street we'd sky plussed.......oh my god, it was the saddest thing i've ever seen, ended up blubbing like a baby. Good job Andy was in bed.......he'd gone to watch the darts at 8.30pm and promptly fallen asleep..........Jeez, i know you work hard, but it's Friday night!!!!
Saturday 12th
Thomas went to sleep at Gill and Dave's for the evening, so we could go out on the lash, picked Katy up in a taxi, then joined Caroline, Claire, Spug and Nicola......where we had a few sociable pots before getting a mini bus into town, dropping a pissed Andy and his kit bag at home.......struth!!!
Had an ace night, making the most of my twice monthly night out, by smoking 2 fags and guzzling magners (all thoughts of fat fighters had escaped me as i generously get the round of crisps in for moi, Caz, John, Claire and Waitey). Swapped diet tips with Mark...random!! Left the commy, Caroline dragged me up to the Station, we'd had far too much to drink already.....not to worry...Sis, Rach, Dean, Tina and the Vikes were in there, Ruth and Tina sang my name full blast to the tune of "go west" which doesn't fucking annoy me at all........much! all v.hazy, Caroline was telling me which naughty spoken for blokey had been coming on to her!!! tut tut!
Bed for 12.45am.
Sunday 13th
Hangover didn't kick in till 2pm, felt fab all morning, up with Tom Tom at 7am no problem!!
So was making the Sunday roast on go slow, roping Andy in to do pigs in blankets and Thomas to peel some spuds.
Note to self, when you've invited people to Sunday lunch do NOT go and get slaughtered the night before!!!
Lovely day, Clair and Steven arrived at 5pm, we all filled our boots, me and younger sibling firing claret down like it was Christmas, to gasps and mucho astonishment from the Evian drinkers, we booked Center Parcs for the end of June........Whoohoo! Clair took the mouse off me, as our budget holiday turned into a mini luxury spa with hydro baths a maid service and breakfast passes.......ah fuck it it's only money! no seriously the tell tale signed of me being squiffy, was when i entered the cars reg's and stated that both parties drove Escorts and we all lived at the same abode!
Time for bed Josephine!!
Monday 14th
Highlights of the day.
Our recycling bins were emptied and i died my roots.
Tuesday 15th
Made amends with Marlo after her cutting remarks and calls to Jeremy Kyle about me being an unfit Mother, well truth was Jimbo called me behind her back while she was at Batley Tescos, saying he'd have Tom for me if i wanted a swim....god bless my Father!
It was raining cats and dogs, was going to have a pyjama day but fook it, quick shop........had a couple of hours chatting with the old folk........they'd bought Thomas a chavtastic tracksuit on one of their many jaunts, utilising their free bus passes! tee hee!
Swam (can't manage a mile in the designated hour and was slightly peeved as i have a bit of OCD about doing exactly 48 lengths when i venture to Spen baths). Obsessive freak!! collected Son, nice afternoon pottering!
Wednesday 16th
Joined the baby club cousins for lunch, mayhem ensues when the Healey's get together, Thomas and i lead quite a serene life compared, anyhew it's nice to have company, other Mums in the same boat and all that, they are also doing the Slimming world diet so we had lots to talk about, Got there at 11.30am after making the next 2 days meals and pack ups.
It was green day (all carbs) for dinner, i have never seen as many jacket spuds, rice and pasta dishes on one table. Ate till i thought i would burst, no sooner had we finished, when Auntie Edith phoned to say Peter had kicked off as the kitchen was a mess....holy moly, what some people have to put up with (and i moan about Andy).
Ran Adele to Wakefield, bobbed my head round Grandmas bedroom door, she looked aged.....could have cried, there she was in her nightgown in the middle of the day asleep with some mutt on the bed.
I know she can't look after herself anymore, but is this till the end of her days? felt very ashamed i don't visit her more often.
Thomas slept all the way there and back, got back to Sarah's thinking at least they'd be an extra seat, oh no, Helen, her 2 boys and Uncle Dennis had shown up, it was like a fooking madhouse!!! I'm so not used to noise, fed Tom, left at 2.30ish and Morrisons on the way home.
Thurs 17th
Tom to Gill's, work and respite for me, a whole day...that's 8 1/2hrs mental space...heaven.
Off to fat club at 6pm, only lost 1/2lb, booze and buns to blame, vowed to have 100% next week.
Home after collecting Son from Grandparents at 7, stew, baths, bottles, madness....always sleep really well these days, i wonder why!!??!
Fri 18th
Nothing to report, work was the same old, bit of sourcing, few errands, lunch at the crown point retail park, buying shit in TKMaxx..Andy thought going back to work would curb my spending...mwahhhh!
Pleasant evening, washing, the box, Son to bed early, always worn after after being played with solidly for 2 days AP, got a chinky, i'm too fat for takeaways, resisted a sneaky Gin and the ones that follow.100% week you see!!! took myself off to Mothers to drop Steven and Clair some freebie works towels off and Vikes a Tykes a shirts, the Triv was out and Xmas atmos once again, knew i would be mighty peeved if Andy was at his folks playing board games with his family on a Friday night, while i was home alone babysitting the boy, so left early and in bed for 10pm, after folding 2 wash loads.
Saturday 19th
All started out well, i swim after rising at silly o'clock with the boy, bathing feeding and dressing him, enabling me to have 1 1/2hrs me time. Met Clair at the pool at 9am, had a merry old time laughing at club foot (a woman who swam with 1 foot in the air) and the woman and her 2 kids getting bollocked by the life guard for larking about........it's a serious exercise class, you silly mare!! bathed, changed, breakfasts, fed Tom, then went shopping just for something to do, got cot/bed sheets, Pyrex, deodorants, teatowels, Thomas more jeans and other drek we didn't need.
Called at Mums and fed Thomas, then home early evening, awaiting Potrats return to put him his pizza in after his usual Saturday "3 pints". Waited and waited and waited, Ruth txt at 9pm saying they were all at the club...cheers!!!. Turned off the oven, and being pre-menstrual, took a rather wobbly look at my life, felt a wee bit downtrodden as he was at the club having rugga bugga banter and pints of lager, i was in pj's, son in bed, can't have a ciggie, choccie or a bevvie. Took myself off to bed and fooking STEWED!!!
By the time he arrived home at 11pm, unable to stand, he got it both barrels right between the eyes and not a wet garment from the clothes airer in the spare room in sight!!!
Sunday 20th
All thoughts of his 60hr working weeks, the fact he gives me all his wages, never asks for anything, and is as faithful as a puppy......went out the window, couldn't prevent the steam from billowing out of my earholes, he made an appearance 3 hrs after we'd got up, couldn't trust myself to speak to him, was on Ruth's doorstep at 11am, (even though we'd stormed out, i managed to pack Tom's lunch and pasta in sauce and a nice muiller light for me). Stayed till 1pm, nipped to Boots, walked out of Toysrus as it was too busy, how Auntie Gill works there is any ones guess, then called and gave him his tea at Marlo's, Grandma was there wearing some drag pan stick and looking 20 years younger with her teeth in.
Home for 4pm, Andy had tidied up, washed up, fed cats, collected his kit from the club and managed to work the washer, he'd even called and bought me flowers from Tesco's.
Oh no that's right.......i've actually walked into the wrong house.
He'd actually not moved a muscle all day,ligged on the sofa, watching snooker, scratching his nads, THE THE THE ..........well, being a lady i won't repeat the words expelled from my mouth at 1o decibels.
Tears, more screaming, threats.........ooh it wasn't pretty.
Had a nice bath, talked calmly........explained in a child like manner, that it wasn't that he'd gone for beers, it was that he treat me like his mother, by not thinking he had to let me know. He took it all on the chin, said all the right things until i'd served up his Sunday dinner.
Punished him by making him watch Shirley Valentine, he guffawed all the way through, seeing uncanny resemblances between himself and the Husband Joe...(yes that's the whole point of you watching it). Still mad when we went to bed, but not as mad.........bloody men!
Monday 21st
Lovely, raining heavily so stayed indoors for the duration, just baking, playing with Thomas, few light chores...afternoon nap on the sofa, had to wake Tom at 4pm or he wouldn't have slept tonight the lazy little urchin.
So that's the lot, busy week ahead.
More swimming, lunching with the Healey's, shopping, need to pay Andy's stamp, fat club, but no work this week as we're off to Edinburgh.....yippee! Robert Burns birthday memoriam.
Can't wait, 2 nights in a 4 star hotel all paid for by the boyfriend i moan about so much, Mother having Thomas, Steven said Trisha and the camera crew were round yesterday getting her side of the story about me leaving Thomas so much. Grrrr! it's not healthy to have a clingy baby.
I'm a wonderful Mother, with a well rounded, well behaved, impecably turned out angel of a son!
Stick that in the end of your JPS and smoke it!
posted by Karen @ 5:57 PM
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