Does anyone still read this?

Just wondering!

I'm tapping away at the keys and worried no booger is reading it.

Oh well, if you are.....leave a comment.

No. 1 news on the agenda, I am pigged off with the diet...........grrrr! last week, I stuck to the diet 110%, swam 3 miles and walked 8 and lost 1/2 a measly lb.......what's all that about, was so cross I didn't stay to "image therapy" stormed out, came home ate my tea after I'd sulked in the bath for 40 mins (I was actually having a bath, not just sat in it with my clothes on). Then demolished every piece of chocolate in sight.
So I have put back on the weight it's taken me a week to lose.
Well done Horns.

Rest of my news in brief:

Andy has a job starting at Easter 99% nailed on, god I hope so.....he went for an interview last Monday in Halifax, I had to drive him and schlep Thomas out in the snow as he couldn't possibly drive and read a map, it's SO true that men can't multitask.
Anyhew it was a dire job and Mr. low self esteem was worried he might not get it, well good news is he didn't have to take it (even though he had been shortlisted), patronising twats!!! as this other one has come about..........it's not what you know it's who you know.
We need to buy another car, but that's ok.....he was thinking a landrover, I was thinking another fiesta.

What else?

I've not been out for 3 weeks, that is not touched a crop of alcohol either..boo!

Went to an Ann Summers party at my cousins the other Wednesday, ooh lordy lord, I've turned into a right prude, was looking at the Winceyette Nightie section at the back of the catalogue and settling for a pair of reduced pyjamas while them mad lot were purchasing fishnet bodystockings with crotchless gussets to entice and thrill their partners!!! WTF!!!
Highlight of the party was when one of Katie's mates turned up, sporting a spangly jacket and doing a twirl while announcing "Matalan, 6 quid.........it should have been 12 but i swapped label".
I nearly choked on me muiller light.

This week has been quite quiet, Sunday, had a lovely 1st Mothers day, swam...brekkie, walked to Mum's (5 miles for all that it's worth), then home, quick change and had Sunday roast at Claire and John's ( i resisted wine and pudding and took my own yogurt, i want to cry at how hard i dieted for no outcome).
I don't want to hear all that muscle weighs more than fat malarkey........
Sob sob!
Monday his lordships interview.
Tuesday, i swam...domestic goddess p.m.
Wednesday we walked to Union road cafe to lend our Sarah Thomas' Bumboo, then lunch with fat buster cousins at Katie's, (7 kids, 9 adults, makes for one very full living room) ate a ridiculous amount of carbs, felt fit to burst.
Called at Mum's on the way home, had a 40 minute natter......while Thomas padded round the bungalow on all fours.

Thursday/Friday.. to my place of work, i have spent more than i have earned this week in my lunch hours....oops!
Morrisons (essentials), then went mad in TKMaxx this morning, bought a cupboard, a chair, 2 cushions, Hayley a 30th pressie and a big fat wooden cat.........i needed that!

Speaking of cats, funniest thing ever..Andy was telling me last night, that he told his Father not to let Meg out, when they were fetching Thomas to take him for a walk.
By all accounts his Dad pinned Meg down onto the step by the throat like she was a wild animal..shouting "i've got her", poor cat, she is thee most timid feline in the whole world, Andy said her eyes were bulging as if pleading with him to get this leather gloved freak off her.........Hahhhaaa!
I thought i was going to wee when he told me.

So the diet has all gone to pot, i was in so much of a sulk last night i cancelled the babysitter for tomorrow. (no friends playing out anyway), Katy is going to Crufts, Spug..Wales with Leeny and Mikey, can't get hold of Caroline, Ruth and Vikes are going to a wedding, so decided to stay sober for another weekend.
Until Steven phoned at 9am, to see if i wanted to go for curry tonight, a wee bit of tweaking the evening plans to compensate Porray, Vikes and little Sister and we are all going to Aldo's at 8pm to eat like Kings, i'll be shitfaced on 2 glasses of wine.........oh dear it could be messy!

But at least i'm going out, dieting is all very well and good, but swapping a healthy lifestyle for your social life is no way to carry on.

To blog or not to blog

I'm losing interest in blogging to be honest, i think if you keep on top of it, it's not so bad..but when you've let the old thing wane a wee bit, you can't be bothered to re-trace your steps and cast your mind back weeks and weeks to let the odd punter know what you've been doing in your futile existence.

I do know I've been doing lots of exercise, yep moi...swimming 3 miles a week and walking double that.

I have lost all my baby weight and an extra stone........hurrah!
I am now 3 dress sizes smaller than i was last September when joining fat fighters.

What else, Thomas is know bezzing about on all fours, one minute he was wriggling and gurgling like a tiny baby, then i blinked and he's off...crawling, pulling himself up on the furniture and doing lots of shouting, whilst pulling lumps of cat fur out of any of our unsuspecting moggies.
Hee hee, little Tommy Porrait......light of my life!

I can't even remember what i wrote last time i blogged, it reckon it was Edinburgh..to be honest, we've done very little since then.


Andy is job hunting at the moment after a debacle i can't even go into, the upshot is he's better off out of whatever is going on, he needs to get a proper 9-5 job, that pays holiday pay and his pension.....etc, none of this self employed, paying your own stamp and saving up for your tax return malarkey.
The thing is, he's okay to take a few week/month off but A. I don't want him to get too comfy and B. it won't look good him having such a long break on his C.V.

The only new things i reckon have happened afe, last weekend we went up to Darlington for Sunday lunch at a nice hotel, then onto to Gabe and Dawns where we had a nice afternoon, we even ventured to the beach, Not seen dawn since all her Ops but she's looking very well.
The weekend before that we were invited to Ruth and the Vikings for Sunday lunch, we thought we'd walk, 1 hr and 45mins later..jeez, had a lovely dinner and cadged a lift back, with Tom wedged in-between Mummy and Daddy on the back seat of the C4. Quite safe occifer!!!


This weekend, Matt is home for Mothers day, but not going out boozing, this is good for me as i'll try to have a 100% week diet wise.
Sunday John and Claire have invited us and G&D up to theirs for tea which will be lovely and also means i won't have cooked a roast for nearly a month! hurrah!!!

Other news to note, Sarah is doing the race for life,so all get sponsoring her, contact me for the link.
The last time she was home with SS (now boyfriend) in tow, i seem to recall being jack lacquered and only stayed out for a few (not like the old days) luckily after my 4 drinks, i was home at 11.30pm just as Andy was changing Thomas, all bleary eyed......looking none too happy, the one night he chooses not to sleep through, Daddy has had 4 pints at teatime and was in a deep deep slumber and Mummy was out drinking apple juice with 3 bellies, poor Baba.

Ooh i did go out for a full evening the weekend before last, it was Caroline's birthday and we met early doors in the Commercial, that's why i only lost 1/2lb last week, 4 corona, 2 cider, a big fat sandwich and a bag of crisps when we got in at midnight.tee hee!
It was a good night, chatted to Katy most of it...Andy was blathered and was seen to yakking up some horrid body fluids in the middle of the night, for me to clear up......tut tut! so it must have been the day after we walked to Ruth's, yes it's all making sense.

So that's my news, short and sweet.

Edinburgh, ballcocks and head colds

Oh dear, nearly 3 weeks has passed since my last blog.......i'll never remember what I've done in all that time....rubbish!

I'll just edit the highlights...........

Edinburgh was fab, very indulgent, lots of good nosh, booze, exercise, nookie and fresh air.
Not in that order.

Friday was spent travelling, said au revoir to our beautiful Son early doors, while Steven took us to the station.
Stopped in Alnwick on the way up where i ate stupid amounts of shit food ( as diets don't count when you are away on holiday) anyhow my system isn't used to so much saturated fat and i felt as ill as can be when we arrived at the hotel.

Still managed my complimentary shortbread, coffee and scones...tee hee!
Had a few pints in the evening, sat in the hotel bar after our meal..very civilised.......bed 11.30ish.

Saturday, some lonely lady who was travelling solo befriended us, poor 45yr old Ann..we didn't mind and she was nice enough, if not a little rough around the edges.
After breakfast, we went on a guided tour of the city.......with a true Scot in his kilt as our tour guide. Edinburgh zoo in the afternoon, (Andy's favorite was the pig who he saw do a shit)........jeez!!
Back to the hotel, where i swam a mile in the pool, followed by the spa and steam room, quick change then a 4 course meal, with some random father and son bagpipe playing combo as entertainment for the evening.

Sunday, walked to Portobello beach after breakfast..then headed home, calling at Gretna Green en route, bought shortbread tins as pressies and a haggis for Jim.
Stayed at M&J's for Sunday lunch on our return, Thomas sat on my knee munching his way through a Yorkshire pud...cutie!!

Trying to think of other things i have done........got really wellied with Ruth last Saturday night, ooh it was messy, 4 bottles of vino.........while watching Pricilla Queen of the Desert, by 2am we were smoking fags in the living room, like it was 2005 again.....struth!!!
Matt also called round last Saturday on route to his Uncles, it was lovely to see him, we nattered for a couple of hours and played with Thomas.

Ooh i'm struggling for news, mainly my life in a nut shell, has a bit of a routine.

Mondays..Thomas and i shop, clean and prepare meals.
Tuesdays..I go for a lunchtime swim (i've joined the gym next door to make my length swimming cheaper). Marlo or Jim give Thomas his dinner, the afternoon is spent at our leisure.
Wednesdays.. i lunch with the Healeys, we take it in turns to cook slimming world food at each others houses, it's all very twee (i'd say Stepford wives, but nothing could be further from the truth).
The rest of Wednesday i batch bake for the lunches and evening meals for the rest of the week.
Thursdays..i work, then go to fat club to get weighed, sometimes i stay to class if i've had a good weight loss and there's a change i'm in for winning the manky fruit.
Fridays..i work, then collect Thomas and we have a family evening, somtimes we manage to have tea, sort Thomas (supper, p.j's, bed) and watch t.v. staying up past the 10.
Saturdays..i swim early doors, Andy plays Rugby in the afternoon, maybe out at night or what ever other plans may come our way.
Sundays..either lazy morning due to hangover, or up and about walking Thomas, sometimes we invite people round to Sunday lunch, sometimes not..i have noticed hardly anyone invites us back for lunch the lazy so and sos.

The only thing i do know is, there aren't enough hours in the day when you have a small child, part time job, a house to run and a bone idle boyfriend, no seriously i don't know what i did with my time before i had a baby and i feel i may never be bored again.


Last weekend though, we were a bit thrown to wake up and see all that snow on the ground, sacked off swimming, no reason other than it had snowed (well not strictly true, our new car had arrived and i didn't want to crash it driving in hazadous conditions before Andy had even had a go). Rugby was called off, so off the cuff we took my parents to the Saw for a 3-course lunch,we all ate till we were stuffed, Thomas was an angel, just sat in his highchair..grinning and shouting.
Andy went down to watch the match at the club, while i pottered in the afternoon.
Sunday i was pissed out of my head still..all day.
Managed to russle up a 1/2 baked Sunday lunch for 6.30pm after rearranging Thomas' Nursery to compensate a new solid pine £170 unit i'd hoisted from work, it took me the best part of the day. God i was rough.

Monday i started with catarrh, we shoped a.m then went to Steven and Clairs new abode for Clairs birthday lunch, nice salad...Mmm. Resisted cake as i am a true fat fighter, gave her a Radley purse and them both a light fitting i'd found in the back room at work, which i wish i'd kept for myself when i'd seen it was £60 on ebay...doh!
Home t.time, where i started with the most horiffic cold ever..........boo!

Tuesday, what a shit day..woke up, streaming with head cold, thought i'd try fix the leaking over flow pipe by slightly bending the copper pipe attached to the ballcock inside the toilet cistern.......promptly snapped it in half, the water was rising up and up and up.
I was frantically dragging Thomas' old unit (which i'd just filled full of cat sachets, washing tablets, cleaning products, carrier bags, old tablecloths etc) off the trap door in the kitchen to open it to get to the fucking stoptap to turn the water off............oh me!!!
Managed to get hold of trusty old Mike my plumber and he came round and saved the day followed by my Mother who couldn't sit Thomas as i wasn't swimming due to streaming cold, she fed him at our house and tootled off about her business, Jim called and drilled some holes, then went on his way, Steven called with my hair tint..........eeh it was like Piccadilly circus!

Wednesday was my day to host the Family fatclub luncheon (was still so ill, wanted to cry had been up all the night streaming with this fooking cold), mini spuds (seasalted and frylighted), macaroni cheese, salads, paella rice, corn an the cob..yoghurts and jellies for 11 adults and children on the menu.
Mucho preparing, washing up and blitzing the house involved, but when it's only your turn every 6 weeks it's not so bad.
Went back to bed at 2.30pm, until Thomas woke from his afternoon nap.

So a mixed week, not the best, have cried twice down to traumas and poorliness, which isn't like me these days.
Funny weekend planned, was going to go to Newcastle to see Gabe and Dawn Sunday just to give the car a run out, but they are down here and so it seems is Sarah (thanks for the 1 day notice and invite out tomorrow night for beers)....Grrr!!!
So what i had planned was.....flicks, coast and dieting this weekend.
What actually may happen is.. flicks, shopping, copious amounts of magners, no trip to the seaside as i'll be hungover to fuck and weight gaining a plenty! Oh dear!!!

It's not all bad, i do like drinking, it just doesn't like me.

The last 2 weeks

Friday 11th

After a long day at the office (cough splutter) and to reward myself for losing a lb at fat club last night, thought i'd have a few sneaky G&T's while watching an old episode of the Street we'd sky plussed.......oh my god, it was the saddest thing i've ever seen, ended up blubbing like a baby. Good job Andy was in bed.......he'd gone to watch the darts at 8.30pm and promptly fallen asleep..........Jeez, i know you work hard, but it's Friday night!!!!

Saturday 12th

Thomas went to sleep at Gill and Dave's for the evening, so we could go out on the lash, picked Katy up in a taxi, then joined Caroline, Claire, Spug and Nicola......where we had a few sociable pots before getting a mini bus into town, dropping a pissed Andy and his kit bag at home.......struth!!!
Had an ace night, making the most of my twice monthly night out, by smoking 2 fags and guzzling magners (all thoughts of fat fighters had escaped me as i generously get the round of crisps in for moi, Caz, John, Claire and Waitey). Swapped diet tips with Mark...random!! Left the commy, Caroline dragged me up to the Station, we'd had far too much to drink already.....not to worry...Sis, Rach, Dean, Tina and the Vikes were in there, Ruth and Tina sang my name full blast to the tune of "go west" which doesn't fucking annoy me at all........much! all v.hazy, Caroline was telling me which naughty spoken for blokey had been coming on to her!!! tut tut!
Bed for 12.45am.


Sunday 13th

Hangover didn't kick in till 2pm, felt fab all morning, up with Tom Tom at 7am no problem!!
So was making the Sunday roast on go slow, roping Andy in to do pigs in blankets and Thomas to peel some spuds.
Note to self, when you've invited people to Sunday lunch do NOT go and get slaughtered the night before!!!

Lovely day, Clair and Steven arrived at 5pm, we all filled our boots, me and younger sibling firing claret down like it was Christmas, to gasps and mucho astonishment from the Evian drinkers, we booked Center Parcs for the end of June........Whoohoo! Clair took the mouse off me, as our budget holiday turned into a mini luxury spa with hydro baths a maid service and breakfast passes.......ah fuck it it's only money! no seriously the tell tale signed of me being squiffy, was when i entered the cars reg's and stated that both parties drove Escorts and we all lived at the same abode!
Time for bed Josephine!!

Monday 14th

Highlights of the day.
Our recycling bins were emptied and i died my roots.

Tuesday 15th

Made amends with Marlo after her cutting remarks and calls to Jeremy Kyle about me being an unfit Mother, well truth was Jimbo called me behind her back while she was at Batley Tescos, saying he'd have Tom for me if i wanted a swim....god bless my Father!
It was raining cats and dogs, was going to have a pyjama day but fook it, quick shop........had a couple of hours chatting with the old folk........they'd bought Thomas a chavtastic tracksuit on one of their many jaunts, utilising their free bus passes! tee hee!

Swam (can't manage a mile in the designated hour and was slightly peeved as i have a bit of OCD about doing exactly 48 lengths when i venture to Spen baths). Obsessive freak!! collected Son, nice afternoon pottering!

Wednesday 16th

Joined the baby club cousins for lunch, mayhem ensues when the Healey's get together, Thomas and i lead quite a serene life compared, anyhew it's nice to have company, other Mums in the same boat and all that, they are also doing the Slimming world diet so we had lots to talk about, Got there at 11.30am after making the next 2 days meals and pack ups.
It was green day (all carbs) for dinner, i have never seen as many jacket spuds, rice and pasta dishes on one table. Ate till i thought i would burst, no sooner had we finished, when Auntie Edith phoned to say Peter had kicked off as the kitchen was a mess....holy moly, what some people have to put up with (and i moan about Andy).
Ran Adele to Wakefield, bobbed my head round Grandmas bedroom door, she looked aged.....could have cried, there she was in her nightgown in the middle of the day asleep with some mutt on the bed.
I know she can't look after herself anymore, but is this till the end of her days? felt very ashamed i don't visit her more often.
Thomas slept all the way there and back, got back to Sarah's thinking at least they'd be an extra seat, oh no, Helen, her 2 boys and Uncle Dennis had shown up, it was like a fooking madhouse!!! I'm so not used to noise, fed Tom, left at 2.30ish and Morrisons on the way home.

Thurs 17th

Tom to Gill's, work and respite for me, a whole day...that's 8 1/2hrs mental space...heaven.
Off to fat club at 6pm, only lost 1/2lb, booze and buns to blame, vowed to have 100% next week.
Home after collecting Son from Grandparents at 7, stew, baths, bottles, madness....always sleep really well these days, i wonder why!!??!

Fri 18th

Nothing to report, work was the same old, bit of sourcing, few errands, lunch at the crown point retail park, buying shit in TKMaxx..Andy thought going back to work would curb my spending...mwahhhh!
Pleasant evening, washing, the box, Son to bed early, always worn after after being played with solidly for 2 days AP, got a chinky, i'm too fat for takeaways, resisted a sneaky Gin and the ones that follow.100% week you see!!! took myself off to Mothers to drop Steven and Clair some freebie works towels off and Vikes a Tykes a shirts, the Triv was out and Xmas atmos once again, knew i would be mighty peeved if Andy was at his folks playing board games with his family on a Friday night, while i was home alone babysitting the boy, so left early and in bed for 10pm, after folding 2 wash loads.

Saturday 19th

All started out well, i swim after rising at silly o'clock with the boy, bathing feeding and dressing him, enabling me to have 1 1/2hrs me time. Met Clair at the pool at 9am, had a merry old time laughing at club foot (a woman who swam with 1 foot in the air) and the woman and her 2 kids getting bollocked by the life guard for larking about........it's a serious exercise class, you silly mare!! bathed, changed, breakfasts, fed Tom, then went shopping just for something to do, got cot/bed sheets, Pyrex, deodorants, teatowels, Thomas more jeans and other drek we didn't need.
Called at Mums and fed Thomas, then home early evening, awaiting Potrats return to put him his pizza in after his usual Saturday "3 pints". Waited and waited and waited, Ruth txt at 9pm saying they were all at the club...cheers!!!. Turned off the oven, and being pre-menstrual, took a rather wobbly look at my life, felt a wee bit downtrodden as he was at the club having rugga bugga banter and pints of lager, i was in pj's, son in bed, can't have a ciggie, choccie or a bevvie. Took myself off to bed and fooking STEWED!!!
By the time he arrived home at 11pm, unable to stand, he got it both barrels right between the eyes and not a wet garment from the clothes airer in the spare room in sight!!!


Sunday 20th

All thoughts of his 60hr working weeks, the fact he gives me all his wages, never asks for anything, and is as faithful as a puppy......went out the window, couldn't prevent the steam from billowing out of my earholes, he made an appearance 3 hrs after we'd got up, couldn't trust myself to speak to him, was on Ruth's doorstep at 11am, (even though we'd stormed out, i managed to pack Tom's lunch and pasta in sauce and a nice muiller light for me). Stayed till 1pm, nipped to Boots, walked out of Toysrus as it was too busy, how Auntie Gill works there is any ones guess, then called and gave him his tea at Marlo's, Grandma was there wearing some drag pan stick and looking 20 years younger with her teeth in.

Home for 4pm, Andy had tidied up, washed up, fed cats, collected his kit from the club and managed to work the washer, he'd even called and bought me flowers from Tesco's.
Oh no that's right.......i've actually walked into the wrong house.

He'd actually not moved a muscle all day,ligged on the sofa, watching snooker, scratching his nads, THE THE THE ..........well, being a lady i won't repeat the words expelled from my mouth at 1o decibels.
Tears, more screaming, threats.........ooh it wasn't pretty.
Had a nice bath, talked calmly........explained in a child like manner, that it wasn't that he'd gone for beers, it was that he treat me like his mother, by not thinking he had to let me know. He took it all on the chin, said all the right things until i'd served up his Sunday dinner.

Punished him by making him watch Shirley Valentine, he guffawed all the way through, seeing uncanny resemblances between himself and the Husband Joe...(yes that's the whole point of you watching it). Still mad when we went to bed, but not as mad.........bloody men!

Monday 21st

Lovely, raining heavily so stayed indoors for the duration, just baking, playing with Thomas, few light chores...afternoon nap on the sofa, had to wake Tom at 4pm or he wouldn't have slept tonight the lazy little urchin.
So that's the lot, busy week ahead.
More swimming, lunching with the Healey's, shopping, need to pay Andy's stamp, fat club, but no work this week as we're off to Edinburgh.....yippee! Robert Burns birthday memoriam.
Can't wait, 2 nights in a 4 star hotel all paid for by the boyfriend i moan about so much, Mother having Thomas, Steven said Trisha and the camera crew were round yesterday getting her side of the story about me leaving Thomas so much. Grrrr! it's not healthy to have a clingy baby.
I'm a wonderful Mother, with a well rounded, well behaved, impecably turned out angel of a son!

Stick that in the end of your JPS and smoke it!

Happy new year

It's been a while mon ami's.

I'm going to have to edit the last few weeks, ideally i'd highlight the last 10 months, but that'd be a mental blog and a half.

So Christmas and the lead up to it:

Thursday 13th
Our works Xmas do, very funny indeed.

Pre-meal, we had a private booth booked in the Leeds city centre Karaoke bar, only Johnny and i could hold a note, but a good time was had by all and the vino was flowing.
I stuck to cider as i've learnt from heaving in the taxi a few weeks earlier (the last time i barfed was Nov 25th 2005) that i can not drink copious amounts of wine like the good old days.

The meal was appalling, rushed, conveyor belt, mass produced food at £45 a head, David was mullered, asleep at the table, Huggy got thrown out for making lewd comments at the waitress........usual debacle!

I left at 11.30pm, had a few drags of Leigh's fag, £20 cab ride home, in bed for Midnight, no hangover the next day for work, i'm so mature.

Sunday 16th.

The exchanging of Xmas gifts at Sugden towers. Andy, I and the boy, set off early doors and had a picnic over the tops in our car, only to eat a 3 course meal less than an hour after our lunch (well we didn't know we'd be eating at 1pm).
Thirza and Olivia, wouldn't leave Thomas alone, wanting him on their knee, carrying him around like a little rag doll.
Chris cooked something in a Guinness sauce, which was erm different. Lovely day, lots of expensive claret...i had a warm rosey glow as Andy drove home, feeling all Christmassy.

Don't remember what the hell happened the next 5 days.


Saturday 22nd

Helen, Jo (new bird) came visiting from Southampton, before Hells jets off to Brisban for 12 months to further her Doctors career, she bought me champers and flowers (honestly Helen i know it's the 1st time you've seen Thomas, but i gave birth 9 months ago).

Left Marlo and Jim babysitting (although my Mother does not approve of me going out, going to work, going to the toilet........anything that involves me leaving my baby's side).
Had to be home for 11pm, as the oldies like to be in bed early, it was Warrens birthday.....so a mixed bunch of people attending spooners, told all the girls i'd meet them in the Station, never got there as by the time we got to move it was into a taxi and home, Matt hinted to Andy that i should be allowed to stay out, Andy took it as he didn't pull his weight, cursing and muttering ensued, home both in a sulk.
Vowing not to go out together again if we had a curfew, as last orders now being 1am, means we are leaving for home before the night gets going.

Sunday 23th

Matthew, Warren and Caroline came round in the afternoon, i was in bed trying to sleep off my hangover (i can't booze anymore.........rubbish), Caroline bought him a fur lined denim jacket and Matthew purchased him books (what else...tee hee).
Woz had a cider and we all trooped into the nursery to wake Tom, his eyes were like ping pong balls at all the strangers in his bedroom.
Had our Christmas dinner at Mum and Dads on this Sunday, as we were all busy on the real day with in-laws.
Jim did us proud, full mashings, lots of scram (Clair changed into her jimmy bottoms she'd eaten so much......i like that girl!), festive cheer, party games..........very enjoyable indeed, won lots of random prizes, i didn't win the Vikings old fleece, which Marlo had dug out of a bin..she's losing it.

Monday 24th

Xmas eve......whoppee!
My favorite day of the whole holidays.
A few last bits of domesticity a.m. (queueing for Metcalfs stand pies being the most important job) Andy worked till 11am, washed and changed fed Thomas then we all trotted for a family treat at Harry Ramsdens in Guisley, Mmmmm....Thomas was v.cute, eating big chunks of Haddock in his high chair banging his keys loudly and making the chinky couple next to us move to another table.
Lovely evening, put bows on all gifts, sorted into piles and loaded the car. Thomas in bed early, watched Pirates of the Carribean, had 2 glasses of wine and munched our way through lots of festive nuts and choccies, making the most of my fortnight off fat club!!

Tuesday 25th

Xmas day, race against the clock, up, coffees, Thomas bathed, fed, dressed, present opening....all to the Benny Hill theme tune.......made it to the Grove Church Christmas day service for bang on 10am.
Sat with Mum, Steven, Clair and her family...Mother took my Son from me as he was far better off sat with her.
Present opening at my mothers..........v. difficult getting 5 siblings and partners all there at the same time, David turned up without Donna, saying she was still drying her hair and she was walking.
Anyhew, lots of lovely gifts, p.j's, smellies, cash....blah blah!
Thomas was the luckiest boy in the universe and recieved tons of toys, teddies, clothes, books, learning aids, Converse all stars from LA.........you name it, he's got it.
Flew to Gill's with car bulging, to more piles of gifts......Claire and John really spoilt thier nephew, ridiculous amounts of presents, had champagne and sushi, then Claire and John announced thier engagement (wonder what the champers was for, thought Gill had gone a bit ab fab)......DAW!!!
Had a few more glasses of wine, chilled throughout the day...lovely, had Christmas dinner with Gill, Dave, Moi, Andy, Thomas, Auntie Ange, Uncle Mick, Kevin and Grandad.
Home for 6.30pm, was in the bath when Ruth and the Vikes turned up, followed by Mother and Father, Steven and Claire......what a flop, could hardly move for gifts..........tired, bloated, Ruth had to prepare the evening buffet as i was 1/2 cut, Steven fell asleep, watched re-runs of Morcombe and wise, eyes half closed, everyone too full to get drunk.
Masses of tidying up, Thomas in bed for 8pm, (3/4 hr late..tut tut).
Saw guests out of the door into the cold christmas air ..the Christmas star shining brightly overhead...........told you i was pissed!
Bed couldn't come soon enough!

Wednesday 26th

Boxing day

Andy went to the rugby, i went to the sales while Dad watched Thomas, home, fed my boy, washed changed and to the club in the afternoon, which was crammed to the rafters as always, rugga buggars, wags, bairns and taggers on.
Gill and Dave took over the care of their Grandson while i had my 3 diet cokes. Off to Auntie Anges for the afternoon at 3pm, nice buffet, tried not to eat too much as we were going to Ruth's for tea.
Arrived at Sisters 6ish, played games, had more buffet and felt like Dawn French in the episode where she had lunch at every call and was forcing sprouts.......OH you know the one!
Nice time, Andy had been on the bevvy so i was chauffuer.......left for home at bedtime, some young scally had shown us thier festive cheer by smashing our wing mirror off the car.........thank you very much, Andy and Thomas to thier respective beds........vino for me (honestly i think i was mullered through the whole 2 weeks of not dieting!

Thurs 27th
Sales

Friday 28th
Sales, left Tom with G&D while i fetched a new wing mirror, some young Asian boy fitted it, 40 squid..all in!

Dave's (Father in law) birthday, had all the outlaws round for tea including Grandad. Moi, Gill and Claire were on the wine, played triv (John's team won), ate buffet, played with Thomas, they left after the 10...all loveliness and family orintated, masses of tidying up again though, wouldn't mind if lazy arse helped out...........grr!


Saturday 29th
Moi, Andy, Deano, Janine, Sarah (you know her, she thinks a drum kit is a suitable Christmas gift for a 9 month old child), Katy Farter, Spuggly and co, went to the club and into town at night, bumped into Rach, Dean, Ruth and Mark in the Commercial, had lots to drink, 2 fags....tut tut......had a mad evening, just like my pre-parenting years, really let my hair down and was seen doing some special dance moves to impress the barman Spud? in the Station, i however was not as drunk as Katy who had had a fall out with Janine and was calling her a scruffy bitch and she would never speak to her again or summert.
Tee hee! I Think me and Hellsworth shared a taxi, so much for Sarah (i'm coming out for a couple as i'm driving back to GBY Sunday and don't want to be hungover).

Monday 31st

New years eve.
20 or so of our friends, mainly club folk, were holidaying in log cabins in the Lakes not too far from Morcambe, decided to have the day with them, set off early doors, parked up at the side of the Eric Morcambe statue, getting buggy out of car, unbuckled Thomas, then slammed my car door to let the geezer parked next to us out, then realised oh my fucking god, Thomas was locked in the car with the keys on his knee, burst into tears and promptly phoned the fire brigade, who arrived at the same time as Woz, Caroline, John, Claire, Katie, Chris, Claire T and Craig........i'm bleating "don't tell them what i've done". Andy looked at me with mock horror, as if he could avoid it! what a calamity......what a mare, firecrew smashed window as Thomas was now wriggling out of his seat and screaming, they taped the window up and off they popped, leaving me a jibbering wreck.
Had a KFC and fed the poor child, then went back to the chalets for the afternoon, Andy had a few beers, i drove home...unsettled moods, was v.jealous of all the 22 party revellers we'd just left to enjoy new years all together, but glad we had Thomas..home for 7pm, Thomas to bed, chinese and an Eastern spice on the menu, few buckets of cheap plonk.....fooking Jim phoned at midnight, in the middle of all the blasted fire works, cats scurrying around like frightened rabbits and Thomas screaming at the top of his lungs!

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!

Tuesday 1st

Thomas started with a mini man cold.......went to jct 27 for Tyxylix and bought him a new cot and a car seat from mamas and papas while i was there.

Thursday 3rd
Blobbed work, took Thomas to see district nurse with his now barking cough and runny nose (he's fine), left him at Gill's while i went to cooper bridge spares for a back window and met some dodgy geezer who fitted it for a score in the carpark.

More sales shopping, mine and Tom's wardrobes both now bulging, Andy didn't need owt!

Friday 4th.

Back to work for a rest.

Saturday 5th

Length swimming 9-10.30am, Andy overlooked our son, home, cooked brekkies (back on the diet as getting weighed in 5 days and have been consuming 6000 calories per day for the last fortnight). lovely day, played with Thomas, kept him indoors all day to recover from mini man cold, Ruth and Vikes called round for 1/2hr, Andy home from rugby at 6ish with a red on after his 4 pints, t.v, cocoa and bed.

Sunday 6th

Walked to Mothers with buggy, only to be berated for my parenting skills and generally made to feel rubbish about myself, let Andy go to the boozer with his mates in the afternoon (made the deal that i can go out with the girls while he sits Thomas this weekend), while i finished off the Sunday lunch, nice night...just the 3 of us, well 6 of us including moggies.

Tuesday 8th

Spent all day erecting Thomas's new cot, fitting new bigger boy car seat and schlecking his old stuff to Gills and posting personalised thankyou cards (i have far too much time on my hands).

Wednesday 9th

I spend most Wednesdays, washing and preparing lunches and meals for the rest of the week, as i'm at work, Thurs & Fri.

Thursday 10th

Work (i do like my wacky workplace, it makes me smile), Thomas at Grandmas, fetched him after fat club, (i only lost 1lb......grr, in my defense my work clothes are heavier than casual shite i usually wear).
Andy and i bickering last night, as he hadn't run me a bath, come out to the car and helped me with the shopping, he'd basically been laid on the sofa watching the darts while i raced round like the tazmanian devil.
Made friends before bedtime, have left him his weekend jobs on a post it not stuck to the fridge.

That's it i've caught up........last day at work today, i'm very shattered and have put talc in my hair to absorb the grease as couldn't be bothered to wash it last night............But!! it's the weekend and i'm going out tomorrow night.....yippee!

Other news

Tina passed her driving test last week......congrats Tina arena.
Matt has stopped smoking, drinking and eating.
Some fraudster has copied Jims debit card and been on an £800 spending spree.
Auntie Janet (aka Jan Star) has had her kidney removed to wipe out the possibility of a mass, being cancerous...........(she is on the mend).
Being at work is easier than being at home with a 9 month old bambino.
Andy is buying his Dad's fiesta for us, yippee!
Moi, Steven, Clair, Andy and Thomas are booking to go to Centreparcs for a mini break.
I saw that d.j Martin who used to do the Station, he has put on about 4 stone, was with his bird and baby, but he also looked as camp as Christmas.
Simon Pawson has sent me his facebook profile..........i've had a baby, what the fook is facebook?

More news next week!

I'm back

It's seems like 2 minutes since i was here last!

But no, 9 months have passed...i have given birth to my son, taken to motherhood like a duck to water.........lost 2 stone of my baby weight.

Kept off the fags...................(ish), and was quite used to being a housewife and loving it!!!

But at the pros and cons meeting, the outcome was, i would return to work Thursday and Friday each week to enable me to carry on spending like a millionaire...Mwaaah!

It's not so bad, Thomas is with his Grandma (who he loves more than me) as she plays with him constantly, instead of running the vac round his feet while fitting 101 jobs around his 4 hour feeds.

We'll see how long the working malarky will last, when Andy gets home from work this evening to a cold dark house, no bath run and no tea made......he'll have a rude awakening..tee hee.

No..stop it, it will be fine.....2 days i can manage...think positive!!!

Anyhow i will blog again soon as i'm going to do some work now......the word seems almost alien to me!

Karen's back soon

Yippee!!

What a week......my last at my desk!!!

What else is there to do on your last day at work, lets face it, not a lot of real work is going to get done.

Might as well blog the weeks news:

First of all can i tell you the elation i felt this morning, when i had to get out of bed to a ringing alarm, for the very last time (for the foreseeable future), yes i know I'll be up all night with baby, but better that than the rat-race of sat at a desk for 8 1/2 hrs a day............surely?

I like my job, but it's people being in charge of your time, imagine how it would feel to come and go as you please! heaven.

Where was i? oh yeah!

Monday 26th

After our horrific nights kip, was like death all day at my desk, but Andy had done the deed and his good mood was contagious from to.time and onwards, can't remember what i did at work in the day, Fiona (Chris's nurse) phoned and said I'd to go over Tuesday to get tooth seen to..........boo! quite ironic the drugs had kicked in and it had stopped aching, but Chris was panicking it'd flare up again (while i was in labour or something).
Late to bed as i could lie-in the next day......yippee!

Tuesday 27th

Up at 6.30am, to natter to the boy, again at 9am to txt in sick, then again at 10.30am...for real.
Vacced living room, sided clean washing, had breakfast, called at the Mother's at dropped off Jim 90 golf balls.
Hit the M62, was 10 mins late by the time i arrived in Wilmslow, we chatted, he extracted, stopped the bleeding, wiped the blood from my mouth, we waved goodbye and i was home by 4. Bathed, ya di ya.......decided we needed a new living room carpet, phoned Alan who said he was thinking of putting up the rent, now the "drive" is finished, Grrrr! i don't even have a car anymore to park in the fooking thing, i'll buy my own carpet you c*nt! Deep breaths.
T.time, Andy went to the Gym, fish for tea, i was pulling the curtains and spotted a howge barn owl in the tree, was v.excited and yelled for Andy, he went out with the camera......reight do, couldn't wait to tell Marlene. Helen phoned saying she was bored of waiting for baby to arrive......funny! chatted away for a good hour, Andy chelping in "we're not naming our child Annabelle as Bella is too much like Bell end" said goodnight to Ollie, up the stairs and the marathon Shameless finale.....v.poor, asleep before midnight.

Wednesday 28th

Put in 1/2 day at work (it's enough for me), had a very stressful time, my mind is really busy tying up loose ends and i seem to be meeting myself coming backwards. Parked in town and opened up a new bank account, that's more convenient, it took for fooking ever, caught car wing mirror coming out of multi-story, that's only prang no.10 in as many months.......thank the lord they've taken if off me, before i wrote it off, never had any luck with black cars.....worse so since i turned into babybrain!

Home to a letter from Sky plus, saying if we don't get a phone line put in upstairs they'll charge us an extra £26 a month, oh lordy lord, why didn't sky engineer who installed the box tell us this? more stress!!
Andy home at 5.30pm, we wolfed down soup and bacon butties, with cream cakes for baby, quick change and off to DDH for our parent craft/antenatal classes....tee hee! how funny? Andy begrudging paid the £3 parking, then asked how much it would cost him to park when i was in labour, or would we get a special dispensation?
Anyhew, the class was very informative, glad we went.......2 hours of labour talk, to introduce ourselves we had to say what we did and didn't like about us/our partner being pregnant..........Andy was quite the comedian, making people chortle.
The class ended with the stork walk, all fine until we passed the deliver suite with bloody footprints all over the floor, after passing 10 or so midwives/staff sitting round drinking tea and reading Take a break!
Said Au revoir till next week to our 26 new best friends, sidestepping the hippy couple who's favourite thing about being pregnant was "when their baby danced to the same music they both liked...........okay then".
Home for 9.40pm, straight to bed after listening to Sar's message about being out at that time of night....tee hee!
DHW's and asleep before midnight.

Thursday 1st

White rabbit, white rabbits...Oh my god, 1st thought of the day...........I'm having a baby next month.
Work was fine, handed my car back........and was given a nippy silver golf for my last day.
All much of a nowtness at work, only me and Dave in.........long day! spent most of it emailing/txting, Matt, Ruth,Suggy, Sarah, Rach, Kay....couldn't keep up, never been so popular... Got Andy a new tool box from work, for his new job.....hahhhaaa!
Went to Morrison's at lunch, to save us a job last night...home for 6pm, after saying farewell to David who's gone skiing, bit weird your boss trying to hug you.

He was full of it last night, having broken up for a few weeks sabbatical....he does bloody right, a full evening of domesticity ensued, tea, baths, mopping, unpacking shopping, wash on, blah blah..........no sign of Ollie owl :o( chops for tea, i ironed his shirt for the sportsman's dinner tonight.
Bed at 9pm, bonkers and Benidorm.............so so sleepy, left him watching the darts when i dropped off.

Friday 2nd

Andy had his hours lie-in then was up and off to work with Jim, he was whistling away (don't know whether this was down to relief leaving his last job, or the early morning nookie).

Last day at my workplace, brought the Golf back, thought it would be a quiet one, twas not to be, have been inundated with txts, inter flora, emails, chocs and cards.........eeh i wish I'd finished all my Xmas chocolates now!
Went to buy a gym ball in my dinner hour and got a final parking ticket coz i was on double yellows....serve me right, might contest it and say i went into labour!
Txt Suggy as my gum is really sore and it's keeping me from my shuteye and favourite hobby of scoffing anything i can lay my hands on........Rhian phoned back to say, go back to see Chris or my GP (Marlo fetching me at 4pm and we're off to the quacks for some antibiotics).
More dramas..Steven told me Kay has booted husband out for cheating, fooking ell, they're all at it!!!
Andy phoned at lunch, i got a bit tearful, then realised it was being stoopid......he'd never!
He was having a swell time, with my Father doing a house clearance and laying a bit of floor covering.......(wonder if he shared his pack-up with my Dad?).
Phone going again like billio, Dean........do i want to go to the pub tonight, oh call me boring but that's the last thing i feel like doing!!!

Got in touch with Kay, she's coming round next week as I'm stranded indoors without vehicle....mind you lots of events on the calender.
Night in tonight as he's off to the Sportsman's dinner, tomorrow it's Auntie Pauline's 60th.....wtf?
Sunday Steven is taking us to Brid, lots of baby stuff on next week.........scan on Tues, more parent craft,then our health visitor is coming to check out our home (she looks so much like Andy's Mum it's uncanny........oh that's right it is her).


So quite a full week, to say I'm meant to be on wind down.
Roll on Monday when i can put my feet up.........note to self, resist trips to B&Q for paint to start decorating kitchen.

See you folks.
xxx

Don't abandon us Karen

Karen, you have to carrying on blogging when you're at home. Get yourself to the library or even better get yourself a computer and get blogging at home - it will while away those precious minutes between feeding and wiping baby's shitty backside.

You can't abandon the blog!!

It's a long one, but it may well be my last.

Busy.

Traumas and stuff going off everyday, they say a change is as good as a rest, but i quite like nowtness, t.v watching and serenity.

Grr!

Monday 19th

Dragged myself to work as it was payday.........Andy at home poorly!!?! i cheekily duped Dave into paying me holidays I'd accrued this year, of course I'm not off sick 2 days a week and constantly absent from my desk.
He didn't seem to mind, reight do, it's better in my pocket than works.
Uneventful day at the office, end of play i had to fetch Paul from Alba tyres he'd taken the Golf in for an MOT, 3 different young mechanics came to ask if i was being seen to............erm No I'm just collecting someone, said far too cockily as Jo the owner pointed out my flat as a pancake Front passenger side tyre with a huge fooking screw in it.....Doh!

He pumped it up, i returned home to housewife Andy who'd done the list of jobs left for him, like only a man could, sparkling bath on the inside, edges still grimy as I'd not told him to move shampoo bottles etc........tee hee!
Nice evening, roast chicken, cut Andy's hair and we watched that Catherine Tate thing which made me cry, asleep at 11pm.


Tuesday 20th

Woke with a throbbing tooth....oh me! 1st job of the day was to get tyre fixed, sat in Alba till 10am, txt Suggy, he rang me and wanted me to go in Weds......in case it kept me awake, told him Friday would be better as needed in the office Weds and Andy could go with me Friday.

The day just went down hill from there, back to work, while out on errands, thought I'd park up on double yellows and pay my wage in, got moved on by spawn of the devil traffic warden and in my haste promptly reversed into a lamppost, no damage to car but really cracked my head..............ouch!
Found a space in multi-storey, awaiting the lift, some smack head was jeering " by eck, it looks like some one's fit to drop".......raced and paid wage in, not feeling at all guilty about extra holiday pay.
Back in lift past druggie "are you having twins?".

Once back at my desk, treat unborn child to 2 paracetamol for toothache/headache.
Felt better by t.time, got home to steaming pile of diarrhoea one of the cats had left on the new rug in the kitchen, Andy was in the shower oblivious......didn't rollock him as he'd had a bad day and was moggy as fook....really bad :o(

Spuggy txt to see if i wanted to play out, but Steven was coming for his tea......quickly consoled Andy and nipped in the bath, made a feast for the boys and me....chilli, rice, tex mex starters, soup....Andy managed to "slide" down a vanilla (his words) before John picked him up for the rugby.
Steven and i acted the goat till 9pm, cut his hair also......he left, Andy returned early as Cleck were being thrashed. Still moggy, read the papers and bed for Shameless.

Wednesday 21st

Had a rubbish nights sleep......5 hours tops! Andy was fretting and tossing and turning, every time he woke me up, i needed to wee........it was rubbish!!, work was fine, only moi & David in....our travelling salesmen returned late on, my legs had gone to sleep, by mid afternoon i was fading fast, yawning, couldn't get comfy, David let me leave 1/2hr early which was better than nowt...had a poor night, AP was too sleepy to go to the gym, so we had tea and retired to bed very early, both desperate for shut-eye.
I even sky plussed DHW's as was too sleepy to stay awake till 10pm.
On the plus side, he'd cheered up and so had i once i was under the duvet.......funny that!

Thursday 22nd

Awoke briefly at 6.30am to see him off, then fell back into a happy slumber, alarm going off at 10am........I'd only been in bed 13 1/2hrs....that's not much! oops. At the midwife for 10.30am, she couldn't tell whether the baby was still breech or not, but they'll check at the antenatal in 2 weeks, otherwise everything fine, saw Gill and chatted for 5 Mins, they're back from Cyprus and have had a lovely time, she still hinted about her retiring, I'm guessing she wants to look after baby and is hinting i go back to work.............Mwahhhh!

Back to work with an hour to kill till lunchtime, did some hoisting of samples, Dunlop golf balls, picnic rugs, camping chairs, holdalls, all things i need really badly.
Went to Readies at lunch for more shite i didn't need (but i have a 10% off voucher), baking trays, slippers, facecloths, Winnie the pooh, new top....where will it all end?
Quite sleepy in the afternoon after jocker lunch!! made it right through till 5pm.
Thursday evening i arrived home full of the joys of Spring as after all, things are quite good at the mo.......fooking marvellous to be truthful!
It was weekend eve and i had the Friday off for the dentist, decided to treat him to tea.......somewhere cheap like Spooners, but never the less it was out, i would save me cooking and him washing up and there was bound to be people we knew we could chat to!

Oh me, what i did not expect to find was a sad as can be boyfriend laying on the couch un-showered and at the end of his tether job wise and threatening to chuck in the towel, after lengthy chats, tearful hugs, a quick tot up of our outgoing expenditure.......he THEN tells me what he has in the bank, told him in no uncertain terms to give his notice Monday a.m..........the boy is a secret millionaire.
Both washed and changed and stuffing our faces with steak, panini, chips etc in OB's by 7.30pm, decided he needed beer, he only managed one pint of Fosters, was still panicking about future career, what they'll say at work, was he doing the right thing...............eek something tells me we're in for a long weekend!!!?!
Home after a brief chat with Spug and Jenna.....Bonkers, Benidorm and a fit less nights sleep, him fretting and me writhing round in agony with toothache.

Friday 23rd

Up at 10am, took more aspirin.......Andy drove to my private dentist in Wilmslow, arrived bang on time, the upshot was.......Chris can't redo the root canal as he doesn't have the equipment, i can A. pay his mate £350, B. Chris can pull it after the baby arrives or sooner if the Amoxicillin he's given me don't work. Oh me!
Off to a nice cosy pub in Styal for lunch, i paid as Chris is a superstar and Andy doesn't carry cash like the queen, make no wonder he spends nowt.
Home for 3ish, i fell into bed....to sleep off the pain, Andy went off to see mates who might have a bit of work going and his Dad's to pick his parents brains as to what to do, also to tell him Mother we had a home visit booked for next week from health visitor who wasn't her..........(she was absolutely outraged as none of her colleagues are good enough to go near her Grandchild), i was absolutely outraged that they come and check where you live, the nosy fuckers...........what are they going to do, say your home isn't fit when you're due in 6 weeks? immediately set Meg on with a duster just in case.

Tescos' saw G&D, who invited us to Sunday dinner.....reight do, went to Morrison's to see what bogof's they had.......saw Jenna and Hemmy buying chilli ingredients.
We didn't need much, still it's always handy to have 2 nearby supermarkets instead of a social life.......tee hee!
Home, unpacked, bathed, him....fish butty and Rugby on Sky in the bedroom, moi....soup, Lost and DHW's in the lounge, both of us Charlotte church and bed in the adverts..........emotionally drained!!

Saturday 24th

Toothache still there, took Penicillin, Aspirin and iron tablets for breakfast and rattled all the way to the swimming baths at 20 past fooking 9 (how early), he was off looking for part time labouring jobs and getting his CV up to date........(put your feet up for the summer, who needs to work?). Home, bath, washing, breakfasts and dropped him at Whitcliffe at 1.30pm for the rugby...once i'd done all the laundry had an hours snooze, up just in time to get ready and fetch RMS at 4.30pm prompt for our OAP......fish supper.
Stayed 1/2hr and chatted to Judy............then we sped to the Mermaid and ate like Kings..........Mmm it was well nice and deffo on a par with Harry Ramsden's.
We sat in the spazzy corner near the disabled entrance, i know I'm like a Telly Tubby but pleeease i can still fit through normal sized doors.

Called at the club on the way home, ended up plonked there till after 9pm, Andy was well on his way.....oh dear! Sat with Nicola (Carl was telling me not to give his wife any ideas babywise...hee hee), Deano, Katy F..briefly, then Gill and Dave came and plonked, Andy went back to the lads and me and Matt chatted to his folks till late on, then dropped them at the Chinese as they hadn't had their tea.
Said bye to Andy leaving him to believe i'd gone home, he was wasted and "out wi lads", moi and Matt plonked with the wags in Spoons.......all the rugby boys followed on after, after 1hr, rescued AP from the liquor and Matt W, who wanted his old comrade back to gan up to the regal and pull some birds......grrr!
We dropped Matt and his folks, drove home very carefully so he didn't spew in the car.

Home, he was unconscious in 2 mins flat, not seen him that drunk in years, i read till midnight and was sparko soon after.

Sunday 25th

Up at 8.20am........WTF, left him to sleep, i pottered.......coffees, filled bird feeders, watered plants, read the Spen Guardian, he surfaced at 10ish and we went walking round Crow's nest park, (blow the cobwebs off), more in depth job chats... :o(

Ruth and mark not home, so called at the Mother's.......chatted to M&J, Jim has some work for Andy, so he felt a bit lighter when we got back home.
I spent a good 2 hours pampering, while he kipped off his hangover.......off to the in-laws for Sunday lunch, very pleasant.
3 courses made me very sleepy, nice chats, they're good decent people.
They said they'd support no.1 son in whatever he decided to do, he was still fretting, he's a worrier.......poor boy.
Home for 7pm, watched a DVD, then up to bed after we'd compiled his notice on paper.

Horrid nights sleep, him tossing and turning, like he was doing a parachute jump the next day and my with my fooking toothache...........looks like I'm schlecking back to Wilmslow this week for it yanking out :o( Boo!

What a week, so the upshot is, i have 4 days left to work and so does Andy!!!?
Still better to have him a happy bunny at home, than his job grinding him down so much, he comes in on a t.time and starts knocking me around.

But more importantly if i leave on Friday! What will become of the blog?

The last 7 days

I'm embarrassed to blog my poor news, I've turned into a house bound, lazy recluse styleee lard arse!
Which is always good...........i find!

Here it is anyway:

Monday 12th

Andy went to the gym with his brother, i should imagine i did something wild like, had a bath, fed cats and put the tea on.....bed at 9pm for Trial and Retribution.

Tuesday 13th

Came to work, waddled home for 6pm, bath, tea on, cats in, Matt phoned, bed at 9pm.......there's a pattern forming.

Wednesday 14th

Exchanged gifts and cards with AP....awww! worked, had bundles of energy and could feel a spending spree/nesting session coming on.
David needed me to do some shopping for him, so basically shopped all morning.........nipping in shops and getting bits for me on the way, a few bits from baby gap, nice M&S grub, then stormed round TKmaxx in my lunch hour and re-did the whole kitchen colour scheme... purchasing, teal draining rack, enamel pans, mugs, storage canisters, vase, rugs, utensils, tea towels...........you get the gist?
Treat myself to matching teal kettle/toaster combo from Next and left work early for the "drs" with my new purchases.. needed to get then installed and bleach entire kitchen before doing so.

Andy came home mid blitz, scratching his head, declaring me insane and giving me £80 towards......yippee!

Off he went running leaving me to cook his steak as it was Valentine's day.......who's pregnant?

So by the time i'd finished in the scullery, vacced living room, done 3 wash loads and made tea and tomorrows packup......my back was crippled with pain, couldn't get off the sofa.....hands and feet had swollen up like the elephant man...........but look at my nice new clean kitchen!!!

Crept up to bed on my hands and knees, Happy Valentine's!!

Thursday 15th

Could i move, could i buggery?...txt Leigh, then slept till 11am..........didn't strike a bat all day, fetched milk and paper, watched Lost on Sky +........admired new belongings in kitchen and spent the whole day on go slow......seriously, i even went into the nursery to check on 76 babygros and sat in rocking chair for 1/2 just pondering....insane or what?!

One very sad AP came home at 5.30pm he'd had all his overtime taken off in tax, it literally wasn't worth him working Friday and Saturday and he'd already agreed to do extra the 2 days after as well, before he'd opened his wage-slip.........poor boy!
There was no consoling him, he was moggy all night........tea, t.v, the usual and Bedfordshire at 10pm, i read through Bonkers....isn't it shite?

Friday 16th

Worked until 3.30pm, was so tired and achy...ooh it wa awful.......went home early, nearly in tears, he was asleep on the couch, woke him to moan, had a bath and a sleep then when we'd both cheered up, nipped to tesco's.....didn't need very much, so marched him round.. in and out in 1/2 hr..........look at us go.
Made fish for tea and made plans to go to the seaside on Sunday, saving me making a roast and utilising last dregs of company fuel before i break up.

Bed quite early, seriously I'm worried about the pair of us, all we do is sit around watching the box, noshing and sleeping and we're really happy doing it, i think we're just catching up on our sleep before the next few years of broken nights kip........tee hee!

Anyhew we were just nodding off, when that young scally and his mates at No 1, were being a bit vocal.......but, he's a teenager, it was only 11.20pm, there was no music/party involved, just a bit of rowdiness......next thing mad Maxine is hammering on their door, screaming like a banshee "i'll call the bloody police, you set of Morans".....she was making more noise than all them put together, she's a fooking lunatic.
Me and Andy laughed, peeked through the curtains and went to sleep anyway leaving them fratching like the cast of Shameless!

Saturday 17th

As Andy was at work, i tend to nod back off when he leaves at 6.30am, missed length swimming by the time i woke properly, so was pottering round in my jama's when he returned at 11am. Had a very dull day, once i'd dropped him at the rugby...........looked at Radley bags in the mill village, then Batley Tesco's for a joint (change of plan about our Sunday jaunt to Brid, i was being a lazy arse about the 4 hr round trip and moaning about the weather.. just at the same time, John phoned with free tickets for the Huddersfield/Hull rugby....perfect), couldn't decide on what meat to buy, settled for a leg of lamb, a chicken and a nice piece of brisket.....bought lots of bags of sweets also for "Hot Fuzz" at the flicks that night.

Nipped in the parents bungalow homeward, Dad was nattering for us to go to Stuart's retirement do that night.......No we have plans, didn't stay long........wanted to get home to warm serene ambiance, friendly felines and maybe an hours kip before the pictures if truth be told.
Had a bath, then Andy phoned wanting a lift straight away.......moggy again after their thrashing again at rugby......oops!
Had a healthy tea, sushi, jacket spud and cottage cheese..........then, he's smirking saying "don't you fancy going to the party tonight and the flicks next week?" had to sit on him, to find out how on earth he knew about Stuart's retirement..........(believe you me, he soon succumbed), turned out mad Father had phoned his mobile behind my back........WTF?

Anyhow we had a vote, the party won, so we watched sky sports........left at 8pm, and sat in the Drub working men's smokey club for 2 1/2hrs.......it wa'alright, Dad was buying rounds as fast as lightening (there's only so many cans of tango one can consume in an evening), My brothers were getting merry, heckling the speeches and even singing karaoke..........taxi! lucky for moi...Stella boy at the side of me had had a long day, so we were both home and in bed for 11pm.....heaven :o)
we were going to go t'regal and for a sloppies but changed our mind at the very last minute.

Sunday 18th

Up at 9.20am (call that a lie-in?) he persuaded me to go for a walk before breakfast, WTF? so there we are shlecking round Oakwell hall sporting our bed hair, moi in tracksuit and Clarkes sensible shoes, did feel SO much better for it.........he was right......grrr!
Home for 11am, made full mashing English breakfast with steaming mugs of tea in p,j's.........we were both asleep on the sofa's by 1pm............oops!
Off he toddled to rugby at 2pm, i dragged myself up to the boudoir and tinted my hair, then put the dinner on..........wifey wife!

Read the Sunday papers, had a shower, another load of washing all on go slow you understand!
We ate at 7pm, he washed up, more Sky sports........bed at 9pm, asleep for 11pm.....snug as a bug in a rug.

Monday Monday again today, AP is off , he decided to tell me why in -depth at 6.30am today, then 7am, he phoned his work....chat chat chat, 8.20am, he's jabbering away again..........i SO need my sleep, still..he's cleaning the bathroom, putting the curtain rail up properly, a few other man jobs and sorting the chicken out for tea.....he's not a bad egg.

As boys go......but girls are far better, when our daughter arrives, he and Luther will be out numbered 2-1.

Teehee!

Much better

This weekend i have been more interesting, I'm not saying wild like the olden days, just a tad more substance to the activities i have partaken in................i think!

Tuesday 6th

I left you after my last bleating last Tuesday, got home and AP was ligged on sofa saying i had mail from the hospital........boo! had been called for a glucose tolerance test on Thursda, he called his Mum to ask her why! (me thinks this calls for another day off work), an evening of nowtness and up to bed for Shameless!

Wednesday 7th

Can't remember what the fook happened, must have been good.....bought some bedding plants to re-pot all window boxes and tubs (as you do in Feb when snow is on the horizon), Andy went running at night to Dewsbury Moor (what a mental), he came back dripping with sweat.......steak and salad for tea, bed for DHW's.

Thursday 8th

Was up early doors, Mum had said she'd come to the hospital with me to relieve the boredom, collected her and we drove to DDH, parked up and made our way to Foetal assessment, I knew the secretary from 10 years ago, she's married to Spig from the Fountain days and their little boy Thomas is now nearly 11.......cripes, she was chatting away asking how i was and saying they'd lost my notes..........great!
Sat on the bed for 10 mins or so, Janet midwife hadn't filled in my hand held notes properly so they didn't even know if i'd had my full bloods taken on my last visit and they wouldn't take my word for it..............more sitting about, tic tic...
Eventually took a phial of blood, made me drink some sugary concoction, then sit in the waiting room for 2hrs, without walking around using up energy that would burn off any glucose.

More blood (from the same vein, the brutes), off home for 12, had lunch at Marlo's... was fooking famished after my 15hr fast..then home for 1ish....decided to put in the plants anyway, brought all tubs in the kitchen and spent a happy hour elbow deep in potting compost......it was fooking everywhere, but they look lovely and i was very pleased with my handy work.
Bath, p.j's and watched that documentary on 12 yr olds looking after Mum and Dad (who were blind), that i'd sky+'d, v.sad made me feel nice and moggy, had an hours kip then went to the hairdressers..........snow coming down thick and fast by now.
Home for 6ish, Andy was out the shower and too tired to go to the supermarket.......yippee, p.j's back on, tea, pottering and bed for Bonkers and Benidorm, have sacked off Skins........down to it being shit!

Friday 9th

Andy was off to do his overtime at 6.30am (poor boy, mind you he could say no), i had an okay day at work, not long now till I'm outta here..............yeah!
Home to napping boy on the couch, more snow......loads of it, Ggrrreat.....flew to Tesco's. Shopping is the new going out...i have decided!!, bumped into loads of randoms for a catch up and am considering writing to Mr.Tesco and requesting a kettle on the coffee aisle for such occasions, home 1 1/2hrs later down to said chats with Caroline, Katie, a couple of Andy's workmates, Fielding, Karen Lamb from School, Michelle and uncle Tom Cobley and all.

Unpacked, after a scary emergency stop..........car didn't want to stop as i was pulling into our drive, i bathed while AP went to the fish shop..........Sooo healthy, then early to bed as he'd more overtime Saturday and I'm always up to doing some sleeping especially if it's for moral support.......tee hee!

Saturday 10th

Woke up smiling, had already given myself a freedom pass from swimming due to the snow blizzards, pulled the curtains around 10am and all the snow had GONE, washed away with the rain, boo! put fire/heating on downstairs, snook back under quilt with coffee and mag and hatched plan B, when Andy got back at 11am, decided to treat him to lunch, he took some persuading as the rugby was cancelled (he clearly intended lying horizontal in front of Sky Sports for the duration of the day), once showered he came round to the idea, so off we toddled to the Gray Ox for door wedge sarnies (prawn and crayfish for Moi, Sausage, mustard and onion for the boy) and chunky chips...........Mmmm, 1 pint of Fosters and a diet coke for the lady...£18.95 (it got me out of swimming).Dropped him at the club and i sped home to lady chores, cooking, baking, washing, ironing etc (after i'd retrieved my wheelie bin from the thieving cunts at No 1)........tumble dried my last load before fetching Sarah at 7.15pm, had a lovely evening with the girls, Ruth turned up in the end but Jo didn't.......Aldo's was a bit of a let down, my 3 starters were nice, but the pizza was shite.......Pino's an arrogant ignoramus and we really must break free and try the Greek next door, when we're strong enough!

We left a poor tip, to match the food, waved bye to Guy and Maria, then plonked in Spoons from 9.30-10.30pm, it was teeming with the club wags and cricket boys, brief chats all round, 2 x J20's, then i gave lifts to Sarah and Hayley, leaving Ruth, Spug, Beth and Tina with a thirsty Katy who'd just arrived.
Home not too late, (it'd been a long day)!!! crept in, fed cats, turned lights off, threw fag soiled clothes in linen bin, and stared agog at Sparko boyfriend, completely zonked out, all lights/t.v on, covered in crumbs from his late night snack............bless, he's SO rubbish at drinking these days.
I read till midnight and he still hadn't stirred!!??!

Sunday 11th

Couldn't face poorly boy and his re hydration sachets... so off to swim, it was fooking rammed, 100 rug rats and weekend Dad's (at least), did 45 mins of widths, home to check on the joint (leg of lamb, not reefer), bath, p.j's, fruit and cereal, then John and Claire called...........yippee, visitors! bit of footie on the t.v, coffees and chats, they departed...i cooked a chicken casserole to freeze and did the Sunday veg, then after the rugby had finished at 4.30pm, we went parent visiting: G&D's, they were also watching Sky sports, grilling Andy on his private pension top ups, chatting about their pending holiday to Cyprus on Wednesday and asking about ours/babies well being.

Next M&J's they were eating stew, watching Songs of praise, telling us about Marlene's line dancing weekend in Blackpool just gone, grilling Andy on the cancelled rugby, the cricket at 4am that day.......blah blah, gave Jim his hoisted tool box and birthday card and a box of stock for the church fayre and flew home for 6.30pm.
Not bad going even if i say so myself!!!

Put the Yorkshires in, made today's pack up, Sunday papers, grounded Maisie as she'd attacked a pigeon on Sat (Andy was gutted he missed it, but was chortling plenty when she came in the house with feathers in her whiskers). Ate our roast, the lamb was out of this world, it had been roasting for 7hrs though.............homemade chocolate cake, then sat round in a happy slumber, up to bed early.......i read, he watched something with Jeremy Clarkson in......all the while laughing like a hyena, followed by the Foyles War...WTF!?? i napped all the way through it, and still slept from 11pm-8.20am today with 3 wee breaks.

Well it's been a busy one.........i'm 31 weeks gone tomorrow, not as young as i used to be, anaemic and i could have gestational diabetes......for all you know!

Oooh but funniest thing in the world, Bugsy Bev who used to live at No.1 has somehow got wind i'm pregnant and accosted Spug, telling her to pass the message on "tell her to pay Alan the £140 eviction fee herself and she'll get a council house, just like that....once she's had the kid, that's what i did and you can buy them in 5 years"...........Jesus fucking Christ what a BOCKER!!!