What a weekend!

Well after not blogging for 2 weeks because Karen blogged all the interesting stuff already, its time for me to blog again.

I was looking forward to a night in on Thursday but I got an email from Kev asking me if I was off to Churchills and then I got a phone call from Andrew asking if I’d come out. So I ended up out at about 7pm. It was an OK night. Andrew chatted up some ugly fat guy and got nowhere and I steadily got drunker and drunker. We went to Cruz but didn’t stay long. Andrew was off to the sauna as he was off on leave and wanted to make the most of his time off so off he scooted and home I went. I had a merry old nap for 5 hours till I was woken by Andrew on his way home from the Sauna at 7.50 – the cunt. He has no concept of when he should or shouldn’t come round or ring. All he thinks about is himself. Anyway I’d have had to get up at 8am so I only lost out on ten minutes sleep.

He wanted to go to London to go to a club, XXL – I’ll leave that to your imagination, but in the end decided that he was better off not doing as he didn’t have that much money and so it would be better not to go.

Anyhew, the day was OK and I went out on Friday night with Michelle. Met her at the Sandbar and drank with her work friends including Steve who was very nice looking. Me and Alan and Michelle went into town and had a drink at Yates and met up with Natalie, Michelle’s sister whose 20th birthday it was – and her fit half Greek new boyfriend who looked just like Chris Cylwik. We then went to Baa Bar where we drank bottles and cheap shooters until shortly after 11 when everyone had to go home. I let Alan walk Michelle to the station and I rang Andrew. We had one in Company Bar and then one in Churchills and then went to Cruz. Andrew wanted to go to London again so I said I’d go too. I wanted to go home and get some sleep and get some washing and ironing to do but he wanted to stay in Cruz and then go to a Sauna and since he is the most self centred person I know and so we went to the Sauna and got no sleep. We left the sauna at 6am and went to his and got some stuff, went to mine and got some more stuff and got a coach to London.

We both slept a bit but the coach was rubbish and it took 6 hours to get to London and so didn’t get there till 2pm. We made our way to Soho, I looked for Cute Little Matt but he wasn’t at work so I texted him. We had a drink in the King’s Arms (which is a bear pub) but it was quiet, then Rupert Street but he didn’t like it. I like it. Then we went to Compton’s which is a bit bearish but we didn’t stay too long there as one of Andrew’s weird friends Stuart was there being a bit weird (telling us about the men he “used”). Then I mentioned having my haircut and he seemed keen to have his cut so we went to the place I used to go to get my haircut. The barber was very forward – asking Andrew if he was gay or straight, asking which his favourite position was, then asking me if I was his boyfriend and then asking if I gave it to him and whether I’d ever “made love to a lady”. It was all very strange.

Anyway we had nice haircuts and had another drink in Bar Aquda, and another in Compton’s. Cute Li’l Matt then rang me so I left Andrew and met up with CLM for 45 minutes. It was lovely to see him as I’d not seen him for 10 months, but I had to go as Andrew had found out that we needed to be at XXL at 10 or 10.30 as we weren’t members and may have to queue a while, anyway before I went he gave he half a Viagra which he said would have helped me to have a better time. So we met up and got a tube to London Bridge. I had a very vague idea where it was (near Southark Bridge Road) but Andrew was convinced it was somewhere between London Bridge and Tower Bridge (i.e. the opposite direction), so we walked from L Bridge halfway to T Bridge and then back to L Bridge and then all the way to T Bridge and then all the way back to L Bridge at which point Andrew realised that he’d been aiming in the wrong direction and I was right.

So we got to XXL at almost 11pm. I had sobered up by this point and was popping Pro Plus as it was now 39 hours since I’d slept. Anyway, as we were in XXL, Andrew disappeared almost instantly and hooked up with the fattest man in the whole place – called Warren incidentally – not very nice looking but he doesn’t seem to care 1 iota about anything other than size which isn’t a good ego thing for me.

I was accosted by a nice cute guy but Stuart from Comptons came along and started chatting to me and scared the nice cute boy off which was a shame. I spent the next 3 hours bored out of my tits but as I got pissed I had a better time. I bumped into a sexy shaven headed muscleboy from Manchester who said he’d seen me about a few times. Anyway I had a nice time with him which was good. And a bit later on I ended up having a nice time with a couple – I can’t remember the last time I had a 3 way kiss and we had a real daisy chain which was fun too!! I finished the night chatting to a posh statistician called Ian about Higher Education, oral sex and all sorts. He was very nice but I don’t know if I was giving off vibes or if he was but nothing happened between us despite him being nice.

Anyhew, Andrew had gone at 2.30am but the plan was that we’d go to Chariot’s Sauna unless I pulled. Andrew had no intention of going home with anyone as he wouldn’t know where he was but I would have done and if I had the other plan was to turn up at the coach station at 4pm on Sunday but as I hadn’t I went to the sauna. Chariot’s is massive so I jumped into the second Jacuzzi and stayed there for 3 hours, assuming that Andrew would wander about and see me. Anyway he didn’t and so when I finally got up and wandered round when they were cleaning the Jacuzzi I found Andrew. He was worried about me but obviously not so worried that he perhaps should look for me.

We were both very tired and Andrew wanted to sleep but I convinced him to get an earlier coach so we left the sauna, got something to eat, got a bus to Victoria, changed our tickets and hung about for an hour for our new coach at 11am.

We both sort of slept on the coach but it wasn’t good quality sleep. I got home at just 4pm and fell asleep in front of the telly and went to bed at 6pm and slept like a log, only to be woken by Andrew at 3.30 wanting me to lend him £12. I was mightily pissed off and really couldn't believe he was wanting me to get up and get dressed so I told him he could have the tenner I had or he could go swivel so he came round and took what I had and I went back to sleep for another six and a half hours, getting up at 10.30am.

Yesterday I did nothing other than watch TV and sleep in front of the TV and eat.

Wish I’d have done something domestic as I am away for 2 days tomorrow which means I have loads of washing and ironing to do tonight!!

Spring bank

Ooh it's been a busy one, a bit of a mixed bag too.

Thursday, Andy came up again in his cricket whites (i'm sure he just comes in fancy dress to entertain me and hadn't actually been at practice), there was nothing on t.v till 9pm so we had to erm, entertain ourselves. Watched BB (ace), read in bed and had an early night.

Friday was a really good day, was up with the larks and in Tesco buying wine at 8.30am before work.
Andy, Ruth, Mark, Dean, Rach and Megan all came for tea at 7.30ish.....it wasn't a very elaborate meal down to fussy eaters, so we had breaded chicken pieces and mushrooms, wedges, dips, salad and stuff followed by chocolate roll and cream.
Megan is like a bulldozer, my she can eat.....she stole the show, the little cutie!

Ruth wanted to sit outside as she's allergic to my cats, we lit the patio heater, i nipped to the loo and by the time i got back, it had burst into flames and now doesn't work.........oh me!
Andy wasn't drinking and left earlyish to get his shut eye, Dean and co departed at midnight, leaving us lush's to it.
I fell into bed at 2.30am after clearing up, it's a lot of work having people round you know, much tidier and cheaper to gan down boozer!

Saturday i did nothing in the day, died my hair and read magazines, had a snooze after tea as i was exhausted after all the activity. Phoned Tina to see if she was playing out but she was on shifts and at kip, met Ruth, Spug, Mark and Reiley in spoons at 8.30pm, luckily tango Danny and Tracy who fights men and is trying to cut down on booze as she is knocked up, came to sit with me as the other 4 were on the quiz machine.

Andy arrived at 9.15pm, yippee! with Woz, Deano, Carl, JP, Caroline, Clare and Nichola, we had 2 more, then all traipsed round to the Rose and Crown, which was mint, good music, nice atmosphere, a right laugh.
I got lumbered with mad Julia who fancies Deano, who i know from my DW days, he'd promised to take her to watch city while bevied, she'd bought new jeans and boots, then he stood her up. The brute!
Anyhow it was an ace night, AP was drunk and maudling, me, him and Caz were the last men standing and all shared a cab at 12.30 ish.
Home to jog and sleep.

Sunday i didn't rise until 1pm.. after more jogging, Andy din't get up until 1/4 to 2 AND i wanted to wash the bedding, we were a tad shabby after Saturday's excess's and had approximately 2hrs to recover before we started drinking again at Katie's (hiya Karen) BBQ, ran him home where he promptly threw up all over the bathroom, i shovelled a half hearted breakfast down, did a white wash and showered, ready in jeans, boots and cardie, walked to Gill and Dave's, then mosied to the Rogers/Jackson abode and stared agog at all the girls, shivering like fook in their strappy sandles (perfectly pedicured toe-nails) skirts and skinny tops, all huddled together talking about gel overlays.

Now i must admit, Deano and Woz were pissed as farts and highly amusing, it wasn't a bad day, the fodder was top, it was a free afternoon out, but on the downside, i've no history with these people, hardly anything (but drink) in common with the girls, what tipped it over the edge was all the fooking dogs wreaking havoc, then the spliffing and the poker playing started, we'd all (apart from Turner and Nic) eaten hash cake which was fair do's, but the stench of the reefers was unreal.

All the boys were in the kitchen playing cards, Andy came out after 1/2hr.. looking a bit green round the gills, yippee! you feel sick, great, that's really good news, can we go home now? we'll just catch BB and Lost and DHW's and we can sit inside on sofas in the warm, so we did, lots of wine and my fave 3 programmes and in slumber before 12.

Monday up at 11am, fed cats and was at the Mother's by midday, had a quick coffee and set off to the Owlcotes, had a nice day.........we both shopped till we dropped (didn't realise it was possible to spend 4hrs in M&S) had a nice lunch, then we piled the trolley high, i bought 10 pairs of knickers, dressing gown, slippers, 4 t.shirts, sparkley flip-flops, jeans and a bra! top shopper or what?

Dropped Mum home and got in at 5.30, did a darks wash and had some tea, Andy phoned to say he'd finally finished cricket at 6.30pm and did i want to go for beers? on a Monday? a school night? after 3 days on the lash? by 7.30pm i was sat in a very deserted club with him, Blacky and Blacky's brother, we left after one pint then they could shut shop, dropped Andy's car off home and had one in the Talbot.
The excitement was too much for us in there so we had another in the snug in the commercial, had another in spoons where i tested Andy on all the beers of the world, from the worldcup menu.....ooh he know's his stuff!

Had an ace night, just shuffling from pub to pub, chatting about drivel, watching the wino's, decided to end the night in the Rose, as we rounded the corner they had reggee music blaring out full blast, you could hear it a the bus station, was expected the pub to be teeming, instead we found a few piss heads playing pool, including the land lady who didn't seemed that arsed about serving us, or her boyfriend who was shovelling all the days takings into the bandit.

We sat as far away from the speaker as we could and merrily sipped another couple of pints, until carnage broke out, the boyf of the pissed up landlady had let some randoms in the back door after time and she refused to serve them (undermining his authority and he wasn't going to be belittled by no woman, so her bruises from past beatings showed) he was ringing his mate to come fetch him, they were barnying good and proper, me, Andy and some drunk old man who was bellowing through to the kitchen "don't hit her lad, leave her be" were the only ones left, we downed our pints, unbolted the door and ran off giggling into the night, leaving the thug getting fancy with his fists, bashing his bird who, lets face it, if she isn't strong enough to boot him out of her pub, is begging him to stay as he's trying to leave, deserves everything she gets!

It takes all sorts to make a world, but i'm glad i'm me and not her, i bet she's a right shiner today!

Moaning Minnie

Right then, what a dull week..........it's been bab!

Monday as i said was lovely, sick days are holidays for the soul someone once told me, i'll go with that!

Tuesday, god i'm struggling here for news......David was cross i'd been off as Huggy had also blobbed, (he blobs every week, this was my 2nd day off in 7 months), work pretty hard......t.time, went for a sunbed, then decided.. against my better judgement ,to move all bedroom furniture around so t.v would be near window.
What a nobba, aerial still didn't reach, so moved it all back again..lets face it, i'll have to pay the extra £80 to get sky in the bedroom.
Calmed down, had Salmon en croute, watched EE, Holby and BB, bed to read......boring!

Wednesday, was in a really good mood, was getting cheeky txt's from AP, as i said i was going to take up a sport (as he always at bowls, cricket, rugby, circuit training, the Gym)...hang-gliding! i suggested................ he said the only sports women were allowed to do were, baking, knitting and B'J's and i was only good at one of them and it didn't involve, flour, eggs or wool..............how rude!

Ruth phoned in the afternoon to see what we were up to Friday, not seen her for ages, i really fancy getting pissed and having a curry at least one weekend night! but don't know what's happening yet.....having to confer with a bloke? wtf? but if it rains, Katie's BBQ on Sunday will be off! good, as KF is in Tenerife and i'd be stuck on my tod with the gargoyles.
Erm, what else....ooh yeah, Me, Matt, Rich had a BB/Shehbaz argument, which got really nasty..........Matt and his blood sports!
I also txt and emailed my catsitters as not seen them in yonks, due to 40th's, engagements,weddings etc!
Highlight of the working day, was i found a parcel of gimp masks! i kid you not.
Had another shite night alone as AP was bowling again, called at Tescos, then did feck all, had tea, watched the box, read magazines, then to bed to read again, was asleep at 11.45pm, fooking Meg woke me up at 5.45am trying to get under the quilt.......she is so grounded!

Today is weekend eve, am trying to be chipper, Andy called to say he's got us tickets to the Jongleurs comedy club for Clare's birthday on the 9th..........Mr. presumptuous! still on the upside, it's a short week next week and we go to France in 17 days.
Am so looking forward to eating, drinking and being merry this weekend, Bank Holidays ROCK! am especially looking forward to taking Marlene to the Owlcotes centre on Monday to look round the big M&S, while Porrait is erm, oh cricketing again.

Flicks, Chinky wedding, Sunday lunch and blobbing work

Right the weekend, 1 day late!

Friday night, me and the boy went to the showcase and saw Prime with Uma Thurman, i thought i was being really clever as it's about a 37yr old (time chaser!) who falls for the younger boy...........only thing was, it wasn't a happy ending, oh well! cough splutter....moving swiftly on....... we were out for 9.50pm, so we dumped Andy's car and raced to the Commercial, i still can't get used to the late opening as we leisurely supped 4-5 pints and had a merry old time chatting away, were last to be lozzed out, got an A2B cab and home for 12.30, asleep after bedtime stories at 1ish.

Saturday, we were up at 9.30am, AP made me coffee in bed, bless! we ligged around in a state of undress, scratching our nads, Andy was in his element as he was shooing the cats out trying to get them to eat a magpie...........whatever, i dropped him home as he wanted to go to the gym, i had some lunch, got ready and set off to Matt's.
Stuck in mad traffic down Deansgate, so arrived at 2.30pm..had a coffee and a couple of slices of toast as we weren't eating till 7ish, we donned on our wedding gear and got drenched hailing a cab to the Lowry in Salford, made it with minutes to spare and followed all the arrows to the wedding venue, it was a civil ceremony on the top floor, all made of glass, it reminded me of Gravity in the Guinness museum.
Anyhow, it was lovely, i got sat next to a smelly chink, which wasn't ideal.........mustn't grumble!

After the service, while all the photos were being taken, Matt and i fired down 4 glasses of Pimm's each, and we ate all the fruit out of them as we were Hank Marvin.
Finally sat down to eat at 7ish, Asparagus, sea bass, and baileys torte.........v.nice, but we still moaned about what a weird choice it was!

We were the only smokers out of 80 guests, so we stood shivering on the balcony as we got our nicotine fix, then back to the table to fire down the free wine, on our table we were a mixed bunch, the geek who worked with compressors and his t'internet bride Ting Tong, a fit as fook Architect chink and his goofy wife from London, then the photographers! WTF? then the puff and his make believe girlfriend, what a facade!!!!
But what a result chinks don't drink (hence NO rhythm on the dance floor) more vino for us!

Oooh it was a good night, Matt tried the Carlsberg and was v.unimpressed! we had a corona but i was struggling with it, so we decided to go back on wine, 4 more bottles later, lots of dancing, smoking, mingling and gawping at the 2 homos who'd been on the dancefloor for 3 hrs solid, it was 1am.
The room was deserted, we made our way outside and randomly shared a taxi with the 2 homos who were going to Cheshire, back to Matt's flat 1.30am, I'm clambering on to the airbed in my p.j's, as the loony appears with 2 big goblets of wine, i was asleep before i'd finished mine....the nutter!!

Sunday a.m was rudely awoken by.. not the dustman, but the BUPA Manchester marathon runners and their spectators running past the flat window...........keep it down you CUNTS!
Had a wee and fell back asleep oblivious to all the racket, didn't wake up till after 12, poor Matt was waiting for me to get up to have breakfast, by 1pm we were back at the car having consumed 2 bacon butties and 2 coffees.
The plan was to drop him at Tescos and hit the motorway, by the time we'd got out of Mancs with all the diversions and closed roads, we were well on our way to Cleck...so he decided to stay in the car and surprise his parents, never mind the fact he'd left the t.v.on!!!

Back in Cleck his Ma and Pa were nearly back from Harrogate so we nipped to the supermarket for fruit and stuff, Richard and Judy arrived i shot home,unpacked and put the washer on, bath, changed, made a mammoth fruit salad and my pack up for work and picked AP up at 5pm to go to Marlo and Jim's for Sunday lunch, Dad and Andy talked about sport, while me and Mum talked about the price of onions.
Had a lovely meal and we stayed until 7.30pm...........it's a record. Left fit to burst and met Caroline, Wwarren and Matt in the Commi for 2 pints of shandy, was really sleepy so me and Andy left them at 10pm, dropped him home and was in p.j's on the sofa in no time.

It's alright all this jetting around on a weekend, but home's best!

Was off yesterday, got up at 12, washed towels, bedding, put clean bed clothes on, vacced staircase, bedrooms, mopped kitchen, hall, dug up moss and dead grass and layed new grass seed. Read magazines, ate nice M&S food, took the video out of the bedroom and tried to set my old freeview box up in there, until i realised the t.v isn't connected to an outside ariel..........what a nobba! watched EE, then flicked between BB big brain, BB big mouth, BB live, BB diary room uncut and BB the last 24hrs.............what do you mean i'm an addict!

Big Brother's Back

Friday already.....about fooking time, the last 1/2 of the week has been v.uneventful, i was absolutely foul all Wednesday afternoon, i wouldn't have wanted to be in my company, think i was upset over Tina and over tired, so shouted and carried on......was rude to Matt on email, back chatted David and was an all round pain in the ass.

Andy was txting and cheering me up so felt marginally better when i got to Marlo's at t.time, both the parents were in high spirits, stayed an hour and a half...made Dad's day by agreeing that we would go fro Sunday dinner this week, (he'd started peeling potatoes before i left), Mum gave me £25 to get her some Clarkes sandals the same as mine (Royale family or what?) 7.30pm by the time i got home, had a wild evening of pie and chips, was in bed for 10, DHW's, read and straight out at 11.30pm.

Thursday, yesterday was a much better day......note to self do not stay up and watch double lost, it is not big or clever to be getting to sleep at going up to 1am, as you are moggy as fook the next day.
It was payday, my blinking tax code has changed to K85, my £1000 commission has been shared equally between myself and the tax man...........cunt!
Mustn't grumble, but i really want to.........fooking new car, i can't afford the tax on! grr!
Basically, the new code means that in the past i have earned £300 less per month and come out with more wage.

It's a good job i don't have an expensive lifestyle, did the usual run-arounds yesterday morning, then at lunch, went to pay my wage in, got Marlo's sandals, swapped my trousers coz they had a hole in and fetched Leigh and Paul's lunch as they have no legs.
Good afternoon, all quite chipper, left early and took Paul to collect his bike from the garage, called for a sun-bed, then home, took bin up, filled bird feeders, bath, p.j's, howge pile of ironing, sided all clothes from airer, had steamed veg and fish for tea, once all jobs done, was hard on ligged on sofa when boy arrived at 9pm, he was really hyper as he'd won at bowls, but couldn't get any sense out of me as i was talking gibberish.............so sleepy!
We watched BB......ace! all i could hear was AP mouthing obscenities about the housemates (cunt, what an idiot, she wants shooting, i can't stand her, slapper, freak, paki puff.........you get the picture).
Bed time couldn't come quick enough.....read 2 chapters and was asleep before 11.30pm. Hooray!

So it's the Friday, the weekend starts here, going to get a nice M&S salad, go to flicks tonight (just had a txt saying not bothered what we see at the flicks tonight, anything'll be better than watching the BB freak show wankers..................okay then).
I don't mind what we see either, as long as we're in the pub for 10ish......5 days without a bevie, that's some going!

See you Monday with my weekends news, unless Mat blogs the wedding 1st.........i doubt it though, i am quite punctual!

Mad men and traffic jams

Monday ......was an okay day at work, i got stuck beside a complete mad man in the bank.......he stank, hadn't had a wash in god knows how long, had black bushy ear hair and was shouting and carrying on, he squared up to me and started ranting about having a man in to wallpaper his flat, but the funniest thing was he had the bottom 1/2 of a walking stick, sellotaped to a dyson vacuum cleaner handle.
As usual the working day was quite unproductive, bank, accountants, post office, blogging (had an email from Sarah , who'd forgotten to get up for work)..........couldn't wait to get home at t.time! twas not to be, got stuck on the M62......jctn 26 closed..........brilliant, so everyone wanting to get off at chainbar had to get off at the showcase, called at Mothers...she was at the hospital t.bar doing her unpaid job..struth!
By this time i thought my head was going to explode, 1 1/2hrs later i arrived home, jack lacquered.
Started panicking if DP needed to use my loo, so after my bath, cleaned all bathroom, muddy pawprints off stair carpet, then made cauli, broccoli, jacket spud, sausage, liver and onions.
Then decided to make a massive wok of chilli con carne, put some in fridge for last night and 4 portions in the freezer!
Was still washing bloody pans up at 11pm, bed to read and was sparko at 12.30.

Tuesday a.m..............another crash on the motorway so didn't get to work till 9.40am.
The day went a little down hill from then on, managed to break the ladies loo, by snapping something in the cistern when putting a blue block in........oops!
Went to the white rose at lunch, i need some more brown trousers as mine have a hole in, every Next in Leeds has sold out of my size.
Bought a clock and fetched Leigh's lunch as he has no legs.
In the afternoon, i got caught in that torrential rain in the centre of town, all the roads were flooded.......all i could think was "what about my patio"?
Called for a double 6mins sun bed on the way home (in the dark, you can only see me by the whites of my eyes now).
By the time Dave and Andy arrived in the evening it had stopped, hooray!!
So the Porraitt men set too, it only took an hour and a half..........yippee! although Dave did have to go home twice for extra sand and more flags.
He knew exactly what he was doing though and has done a Stirling job, off he toddled pleased as punch, me and AP watched life of grime and traffic cops, i had chilli and burnt rice...........too busy watching the builders in back yard instead of my pan!
Andy left at 10 and i washed up and watched double Lost.
Bed and read till 12.30...........straight out.

Wednesday, that would be today! had not set my alarm button correctly, so was 8.35am when it went off.........Haaahahha! what a lie-in?
Same old at work today, Matt and Rich emails flying about.
Bank, accountants, have sorted out plumber fixing my carsie, also have nipped and got my lunch already before they run out of chicken fajitas!
David isn't in too mad a mood,(he tipped a tub of handcream on Leighs head yesterday), hopefully the day will pass quick, need to get all my commission in for the wages...tee hee!
Rest of the week, weekends plans?

Need to call at Mum's tonight, not been for so long..........feel v.bad!
Tomorrow Andy is either bowling or at cricket practice, then he's coming up after, i might put some grass seed down depending on the weather.
Friday we are off to the flicks (silent Hill or The Davinci code?, not the UCI though as he can't behave) then for a few pints after.
Then Saturday........i am to be Matty S's wife for the 3rd time running.......my oh my!
I'm having a number 37 and egg fried rice.

Peaks and Troughs

Peaks as in Peak District and troughs as in huge fooking hole in back garden.

Thursday evening, i was absolutely dead on my feet, was nearly asleep on the couch when Andy turned up in his cricket whites, had a nice evening, chatted, watched the box, drank squash and put on a live sex show for the whole of Vine Street. Bed v. early after fake tanning as it's the summer and the skirts are now out of the wardrobe.


Friday i had a quick disco kip after i'd called for a sunbed, Gabe, Dawn and Ethan called and got me out of the shower, we all had cups of tea and chatted a while, so i was still in my p.j's with wet hair when AP turned up at 7.15pm to go boozing.
Saw my guests out and got ready in double quick time, we walked into town and had a quick bevy in spoons, then sat with Katie, Caroline, Debbie and Clare in the Comi, Ruth, Hayley, James, Tina, Jo and Beth arrived and we all had quite a good laugh, soon realised that the couple we nipped into town for ,would probably turn into 6 or 7 pints.............oh well.

My supposed friends started taking the piss out of me and Andy for holding hands, but i know they are just jealous. We called in the Old house at home for the last pint, then got a cab up home, had some kettle chips, got jiggy and slept till 8am.

Saturday Andy promised to start building my patio, i heard him padding around in his boxers at 8ish, realised it must've been raining as he snook back under the quilt, we both got up at 9.30am, by 11.30am................between us we have managed to re-create a bombsite in my back garden.........huge hole that doesn't resemble the foundations of a patio whatsoever, a huge mound of soil slung over the fence, sand laid in the hole (Meg thinks this is her own private litter tray) and Mud every fooking where............all over the grass, the path, up the staircase (cats paws and the bottom of my tracksuit bottoms) and right through the living room. We ran out of sand and AP nipped home and borrowed 4 bags off his Dad and one split in the car boot, oh yes between us the patio project was complete pandemonium!
I fell into the bath and left him still digging in the rain as he'd measured the hole wrong, he shuffled off home pleased as punch the cricket was off and i collected Gabe and Dawn at 12.30pm, made good time and arrived in Buxton at 2ish, dumped our bags, gave Rhi her pressies and the 3 of us went off to the local pub for a bar meal, had a brill afternoon, had pie, chips, peas and gravy 1/2 bottle of rioja and watched the FA cup final.............outstanding!

Wiggled back to the party at 5, the house was filling up nicely, Mad Charlotte was there with her ginger Liverpuddlian mate (didn't take to her, she was well gobby and an avid footie fan), Jim and Helen from Belfast, Jake and Kate, Martin (how many ex shags?), Mike and Rachel, Hoi-Shing and Catherine, some other randoms i didn't know, but the wine and bush were flowing, outstanding buffet, filled my face again at night, 2 plates full of tuna niscoise salad, quiche, salmon, cold meats, nachos, cheese parcels and desserts to die for, it was the dogs bollocks!!!

The only downfall of the evening was the tragic story of their missing kitten that had fallen between 2 houses, the firemen had tried 4 hours to get her out and failed so they left her to die as she slowly starved to death over a few days............i actually cried.

So anyway, several glasses of the old vino later, i'd turned into the resident comedian and was latching onto anyone who would listen to my amusing anecdotes, some poor girl from Bath who didn't know anyone, had me trailing round after her all night as i felt sorry for her, funnily enough she wasn't impressed with me later on and she confided in me about her webbed feet............note to self............Do Not yell "urghhhh" when people with feet impairments take there shoes off to show you their conjoined toes!

Oh my god we were all SO pissed, Gabe collapsed unconscious at 11pm, fully clothed on top of the bed, i'd demolished 2 bottles of red and had now started on a bottle of white...........a change is as good as a rest!!!???!
Time 1am, hours drinking 10!
I'm now sat with General practitioner Catherine, who is giving me and in-depth talk through of sections, natural births and how her and Hoi needed a persona kit to catch on.
In turn I'm telling her how pissed i was the time i broke into my own house, by smashing the door panel, calling 999, ringing Jim and the drunkest joiner in the world who came to save the day!
She's laughing that hard her jaw is aching and asking if i rented myself out for parties.
Polished off the last of the white wine, most people had sloped off to bed, the hard core stoners stayed up till 3am, i last till 20 to 2. What a night!!!!

Sunday, awoke in Thirza's bed, felt fab and was up with the larks 10am.
People at breakfast totalling 13, i mean where would normal people put 11 house guests?
I had 2 Cappuccinos made by Chris, waityed for Mike to rise and move his car and off we set homeward bound, Me and Dawn gassed like little old ladies and Simon slept all the way home in the back of the car.
Back in Clecksville at 1.15pm, spent the afternoon, washing......... Myself, clothes, rugs, towels etc, watched EE omnibus, napped on sofa, had egg in an egg cup and soldiers and sulked as Andy had not phoned to see if i'd had a nice time.

Matt phoned as he'd had a day with his folks and we arranged to meet for Sunday shandies like the good old days, yippee! met for 1 in that cattle market called spoons at 7pm, then opted for the Commercial £2.50 a pint as opposed to the £1.69 Obediah Brooke as the peace and quiet was worth the extra £4.05 each for the 5 pints we sipped.
Andy txt to say he felf like shit, so i txt back to say i'd had a lovely time thanks for asking. Grrr!
Had a lovely night anyway, Matt went off to Huddersfield and i cabbed up home, emptied the washer and the tumble dryer, took a glass of vino up to bed and was in slumberland at midnight!

Am on fine form today, had 2 sorry, guilty txts from AP and a phone call saying him and his "DAD" are coming up tomorrow night to finish the patio..................Love him!

Pollen

At the ripe old age of..cough splutter... I've just started getting fucking hayfever, i can't get my breath!

I woke up this morning with stinging eyes and a runny nose, I'm not happy at all about this!

Ooh i was a busy bee though last night, as you know i was all fired up with good intentions of gardening and such if i'd blobbed work.
Decided to do the lot when i got home at t.time anyway, what a fooking nobba!

6pm i had the lawn mower out (hence snivelling, running nosed, red eyed bloodhound), this is after i'd done a little war dance after knocking down a wasps nest in the shed with a broom handle........aahh!
So cut all grass, washed patio furniture and started to water garden, Steven phoned and invited himself up for tea, he finished watering the garden, while i dusted every surface in the living room.

I was a woman on a mission........we couldn't agree on what to eat, i didn't want pasta, he didn't want liver (tut, Matt bought me that), so he fetched a special mixed starter and a special in OK sauce, with egg flied lice from the rat kitchen, while i put parasol up and laid out plates and forks.
We chatted a while, then went inside where he watched Will and Grace until his allergies against the cats started, meanwhile i was wading my way through the biggest pile of ironing ever known to man..........maybe not! (the only thing i hate about summer, crumpled cotton clothes.......bring back woolly jumpers).

Sided all in wardrobes, then shifted all clothes from airer away and spruced up spare room, Stevie left.......i fell into the bath with crippling backache, it was 9.50pm by this time, shot downstairs and cooked sausage, liver and onions for tonight as i'd already defrosted it, then plonked on the sofa just in time for DHW's, collapsed into bed at 11pm and read brill book till the midnight.

Feel top o' the morning today, really got the spring cleaning bug, have vacced all office, mopped loos, I've even started bleaching the t.spoons............help!
The Jews think I'm mad lady.
Saying all that they're noone here, Leigh is in Mancs buying, Paul in Liverpool selling, David's golfing, Mark at the dentist, Huggy's blobbed all week, Mick's out with his pigeons, Brazil's fucked off..I've just got back from lunch, with sushi, hand cream, linen skirt, 40litres of bark, diet coke, fox's glacier mints and some vest top pyjamas......quite a mixed bag!!!

Busy doing nothing

Trying to find lots of things not to do.

Today i wanted to blob work, it's going to be a long day, the sun is shining and i could utilise my time much better at home, i could have had a nice lie-in, cut the grass, done some weeding, finished that huge pile of ironing, taken my photos up to my Mum's and given her the garden hose I've promised her, then started cooking tea early, instead of eating at 8'0 pigging clock every night!

Jobs are NO GOOD!

How do people have time to go to the Gym, do a night school course or go out boozing mid week, god their houses must be like pig sty's........tee hee!

So run down of the 1st half of my week.

Monday, was a tad shabby after the weekends excess's, everyone was deflated in the office, but we did laugh a lot about the party! it was a long day as David had run out of errands for me and is back on his diet, so not even any scram runs!
The evening was quite pleasant, ate left over pizza, watered the garden, put some photos in albums and changed some frames over! OOh Sam will you print off that nice one of me and you in our frocks to replace the one of Me and Kay i have at the top of the steps? ta!

Matt phoned about 9.15pm for an hour, then i called Sam to catch up on all gossip and scandal, my my!
Bed at 10ish, watched the end of the Bafta's then read 2 chapters of new book that has finally stared to get good after 157 pages. struth!

Tuesday, always have loads of energy on Tuesdays, boring day.....David played golf in the afternoon, Paul, Leigh and Mark talked about football constantly, was glad to get home..called for a sunbed, watered all the garden, vacced the living room, mopped kitchen, had chilli and rice,watered house plants, then watched EE and Holby was bored ridged by 9pm, tried to phone Helly but she was out, did lots of tutting, watched life of grime, traffic cops and Lost (wish i'd done my ironing then i wouldn't be stressing today).
Bed to read and asleep at 12pm.

Wednesday, today started off very slow, at least no Brazil in the office....thought i'd have a quick skive and offer to take the bank, David had different ideas and jumped in the car with me, foaming at the mouth, screaming about needing to get £500 out of the bank for Leeds tickets for the play off finals(bearing in mind i need to park on double yellows at the bank and by the time i'd finally been served, he was bright green in the car and all his clothes were ripped) then i needed to get down to Elland Road and find Bradley and Chinny who had been there queuing since 7am and 8am respectively, take Mark with me who would be able to blag the Stewards with his Chromes disease to let him push in! WTF?
Mark found Chinny and handed over the monkey, we're back at work now i have a banging headache and really wish i'd blobbed!

Andy wants me to go watch him play bowls tonight in Beeston, i aren't! driving all the way home from Leeds to come back again? i'm going to crack on with my chores and see him tomorrow, then i don't know what's happening Friday.....but Saturday morning he's making a start on my patio..........i am happy and not about this, as i want it finished, but i also really want a lie-in because i won't get one Sunday morning ,as i'm kipping over at Chris's after Rhian's 40th party! oh me!

I'm stalled of bezzing off every weekend, i just want to stay at home watch him play cricket have lots of shandy and finally put my BBQ to good use!

Soon.

Sleep and the last week

Tuesday 2 May 2006
Can't quite remember why but Andrew came to stay with me after work on Monday night's shift. It may have been because his shower wasn't working. It was't great as I wasn't sleeping well that night and him rolling over kept waking me up. after work but he wanted to go out so we did at about 7.00. Al had McDonalds and I watched, then we wento to his so he could get changed - I mended his shower, I then broke his security chain on his door, we went for a drink and I had a coke. Went home and watched Lost. Slept badly again

Wednesday 3 May 2006
Very tired at work. Andrew came round to watch Lost. I had napped before he arrived. He stayed the night and I insisted that we went to bed as soon as we'd watched all 3 episodes. Slept even worse than the previous 2 nights. Had nightmares and only slept in fits and starts and kept being hit on the head every time AL moved about in bed.

Thursday 4 May 2006
Was falling asleep at my desk most of the day - felt really poor.

Went over to AL's. Beat him at scrabble and then we went out. I stayed in Churchill's most of the night. Had develeoped a cold so wasn't feeling too good. AL and I went on a mini pub crawl looking for Wes but didn't see him. Went to Cruz and didn't have a great time. Had a drink though and so I slept for the first time all week which was a relief.

Friday 5 May 2006
Stayed in, slept half the evening and watched SWAT on DVD which Dave from work had lent me: it was v good.

Saturday 6 May 2006
Rose at 10.50 and watched a bit of telly, tidied up and hoovered as there was an estate agent coming at 1pm. My landlady is having the place priced up and may be selling it - booh!!! Anyway the estate agent, Greg was really fit, He looked like a cross between Tim Vincent (head shape), Colin Farrell (looks) and Jake Gyllenhall (eyes). I sooooo would have.

Slept much of the rest of the afternoon and at 5pm Alastair and Andrea arrived so we had afternoon tea (with a tea pot and cream scones and everything! And who should turn up after half an hour but Andrew so he came along and had some tea and then we all played Cluedo which was ace. I never remember it being as much fun. I really enjoyed it! Andrew went off to work and we went drinking. We had a really good time, catching up, getting to know Andrea better, drinking. It was really nice. We went home at about half past 1 am and went to bed shortly after two.

Sunday 7 May 2006
Slept OK and rose at 11. Made sausage sandwiches and cups of tea (with sour milk - yuk) and Andrea and Alastair left at 12.20. Slept on and off for 2½ hours and then watched Mean Girls on DVD, had a shower and got ready, slept for another hour, spoke to my mum on the phone and then Andrew arrived at 6pm like he said he would. Had a few drinks then he went off to work and I stayed in Churchills and sang a couple more songs. Had a pleasant but uneventful evening but the alcohol I consumed did help me sleep which was a hugely important thing given the poor sleep I'd had all week.

Last few days

Weds 3rd...Collected Steven on the way home from work, we had tea in the garden as it's the summer, woo hoo, stuffed ourselves silly with pasta, garlic bread and kettle chips, i had a quick shower and off we set for the showcase, saw 16 blocks which was ok, home for 10pm just in time for DHW's, read and asleep before midnight.

Thurs 4th...was foul at work, hormones make me the daughter of Satan, did a few errands (fetched a cake with Elliott's face on, 30 limes and another 80 Budweiser) blagged David that i needed to leave early for the vets (he asked what was wrong with me, ha ha), so called at Calder veterinary clinic for frontline drops, washed the car and had a sunbed all in works time, home for 6pm, quick jacket spud then went to meet AP at Old Bank working men's club, where he'd lost his game of bowls.........wtf?
Had a beer of two, we planned to go to the Wickham quiz, but i nipped in home to let the cats in and we both gazed longingly at the sofas and opted for an evening watching the reconstruction of the Bradford riots.

Fri 5th...Hyper all day at work, everyone in high spirits pre the party of the century Saturday night, nipped for another sunbed on the way home (i will be brown for France), watered all the garden had a healthy tea of pork pie and trifle then picked up Andy at 8.30pm, watched Confetti at the UCI in Hudds, oh how i laughed, go see it now!!!! had a very enjoyable evening , had to tell Andy off for being rude, he is a naughty boy.
Home for midnight, then decided to have some wine and watch When a man loves a women, luckily i was still up when some fooking buffoons decided to call me at 1.40am singing pissedly down the phone.........grr!

Sat 6th...up very late, nipped to the hairdressers for my hair pinning up, then just pottered about all day, doing bits of washing and mopping and stuff.
Was ready in plenty of time to go fetch Andy at 7ish, where was he? still on the fooking cricket field.............ahhh! Gill answered his phone and said the other side only needed 10 runs, i got a mental sweat on and started hyperventilating....go and get him off the cricket field Gill we are going to be late!

Dropped Dean's bday card in and shot to the club, breath deep everything is going to be fine, he's walking down from the changing rooms looking quite smart, then he gets up close and he's wearing his special party pants.............i want to cry!
Got myself in a right fluster, stalled the car, couldn't get it into gear, was 1/2 late picking Steven up and by the time we'd got all the way to Leeds 14, the party had been going 1 1/2hrs, good hopefully people will be too pissed to see AP's special trousers.

Well what can i say, the most elaborate bash i have ever been to in the last 37yrs! It was the cats's Whiskers!!! Andy's trousers aside, i couldn't fault it.
The marquee held about 200, there was a photographer taking your photo on the way in, i started the evening on Champagne, progressed to a dozen bottles of corona, once that ran out, Andy got me 2 buds with limes in them! i then decided to drink a bottle of white wine, oh me! now is not the time to start pissing in bins Karen! The food by all accounts was out of this world, to start with, mini portions of fish and chips and some assorted canapes, roast beef with mini yorkshire puds, paella, there were themed bistros in different corners, pastas, salad, you name it they had it! Andy had a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel, i had paella....i should have eaten more and drunk less, then i would have remembered leaving, not lost my memory and fallen asleep as soon as i got in the taxi, mind you Andy wouldn't have paid the £40 fayre if i hadn't have beenunconsciouss in the back of the cab! Every cloud!

Back to the evening, it was just outstanding, i can't really put into words how impressive it was without you seeing it! it was like a film premiere or something, the amount of money there was at the party would take yourbreath away.
All our lot from work kind of hung out together, however i must have known at least 70 of the people there, David did his speech, followed by Dan, then Adena told everyone to get on the dancefloor so we did, David came over and shoved Andy, leave him alone he's shy!
Oh we were messy, drunk as sailors, by all accounts Paul has just been telling me, that me and Andy were sat on high bar stools absolutely wellied, when Jeffrey went to leave, he gave me a kiss on the cheek, then shook Ap's hand, then Andy kissed him on the cheek! how embarassing?

At least i didn't show myself up, unlike Howard the guy who gave me the patio heater, he was pinching people's wives arses and dancing with a pound of brie in his hand!
Poor David, there were beer bottles in the swimming pool, the sofa's fucked, stains all over the carpets....ooh heck!
There's no more to say on the party as i don't remember 1/2 of it, but AP was suitably impressed with all the money men there and commented that Bev would have loved it here!

Sun 7th..spent all morning and most of the afternoon shagging and recovering, why do we do it to ourselves? the rest of the day was quite lazt, Steven brought my car back as the golf had been rained off, so i visited Mother for and hour, then went to spoons in the car for 2 pints of shandy as it was little Dean's 22nd birthday, bless!
Home at 9pm, with a pizza base pizza, ate 1/2 while watching Krakatoa, then had wine and watched whatever other drek was on 4, i think it was the top 100 1 hit wonders or something.
Bed very late and very squiffy, but feel okay today.........fighting fit for another week at Fernway limited!

My Apologies

Right i have read back on my weekends blog and i sound like a right miserable cunt!

I did actually have a very enjoyable weekend but came across as a moaning Minnie as i was minus a man.

That is not on, so i have cheered up 100% and am blogging happy news and thoughts today (nothing to do with the fact that he is home).

Seriously though, drinking and eating take-always for 4 days running is neither good for the body or mind.
It's just makes you feel like shit.

Yesterday, when routine is back in place........i consumed my Breakfast: Bran flakes and banana.
Lunch: Salad sandwich, crisps
Dinner: Lamb chops, jacket and veg.

You are what you eat, making me a sprout.

I'll stop warbling on like a born again Christian, we all know early nights, no liquor and sardines are the way forward.
But we all love a bit of cake, don't we? love a bit of cake washed down with 8 pints of strong cider and a few whiskey chasers!

Anyhow he's home, he turned up last night straight after his tea, looking like Robinson fooking Crusoe, he laid on the sofa....sticking to the strict " what happens on tour, stays on tour"...............NOT! squealing like a good un, but I've to tell noone the names of the guilty parties, the ones who barfed, were really ill, the ones who got in street brawls, the one who fell asleep on the back of the coach and missed a whole day in Venice and the one who ended up in the slam for a night or 2.
Off he toddled to his bed, after spewing constantly for the last 24hrs, leaving me to an evening of Lost double Whammy, HOW COOL? oh my god i can't get my breath!

Other news..i managed to locate a gas bottle and regulator yesterday, reight do, we're in business!
Called for a sunbed last night and am now being known as Kazza Patel.
Today I've taken back my new hosepipe for a refund as i found a sample in the back.
Might nip to the White rose at lunch, just coz.

This evening I'm having a quick pasta then going to see 16 blocks at the showcase with Steven.
Tomorrow chill-out, maybe another tanning session, then AP entertaining if he's not bowling.
Friday Andy wants to go to the McAlpine Stadium cinema for a change, we're off to see Confetti ....Chickflick.........ace!

Then Saturday is the party of the century in Scarcroft, where all the Jewish money men, their princess wives and every crook in LS17 will collate to stuff their faces with canapés and free Dom Perignon, me and the porritt will fit in just fine.

Great British Bear Bash

Well what a weekend. Where do I start? ... Friday's a good idea.

I'd agreed with Andrew to work from home on Friday afternoon so I could help him with all the moving business so I got home at half past one. AL had his hair cut and went to his flat which turned out to be right next to the Outpost and Legends (more on this later). It was a nice flat, small but new and clean. Anyway he signed everything and was all sorted by 4pm but he needed some bedding but really wanted to drink for the next 3 hours before work. I offered to go to Argos for the bedding, thinking it would take 20 minutes not almost an hour. Anyway Andrew was drinking in the Outpost so we put the bedding on his bed only to find that I'd got the wrong sized sheets so I went back (although this time in a taxi paid for by AL) and got it right.

Now in Manchester this week was the Great British Bear Bash IX. Now for those of you who don't know a bear in the gay world is:

"a man who is hairy, has facial hair, and a large cuddly body. However, the word "Bear" means many things to different people, even within the bear movement. Many men who do not have one or all of these characteristics define themselves as bears, making the term a very loose one. "

So Andrew was like a pig in muck all weekend being a chubby chaser and encouraged me to get involved. I had been planning a quiet weekend but succumbed and bought tickets for Legends next door to Andrew's new flat which was the epicentre of the Bash's events fror Friday Saturday and Sunday. Andrew was working all weekend which amused me hugely. Of all the weekends for him to work, he had to be working on Chubby Chaser Christmas!!

Anyways Andrew had got his times wrong, he was working till 9.30 and so we drank till about 9.15. I then went home for a nap-ette and to get changed, my nappette lasted 2 ½ hours and so I didn't end up getting out till gone midnight.

Now in Manchester there are two bear bars, Rembrandts and the Outpost (yes next to Andrew's flat - how convenient for him) but since it was late I missed out Rems altogether and went straight to the outpost. It was heaving and I had a couple in there and felt rather out of place but I'd given my word to AL that I'd go and so there I was and after a couple I went into Legends. It was OK but not great and I hung around a bit and had I think 3 or 4 pints and was on what I'd considered to be my past one when someone came up to me and said "I think you're gorgeous". He wanted a 3some but we couldn't find /agree on a 3rd party so we went home together. He was called Jodey, 27, originally from Leeds but had been in Manchester 4 years, a care worker. He was cute, slim and had a skinhead and was very very nice. We had a couple of nice times that evening and another couple of nice times the next morning and he popped off at 1.30pm on Saturday morning.

Slept most of the afternoon I think and did very little until 6 when I began to shower and get ready and dye my hair, to go with my new cut which I had done on Thursday). I was going over to Andrew's with a suitcase of stuff and then off out with him which we did. At one point Andrew decided he'd need a kebab as he was hungry and as he was waiting for that I bumped into Chris (the guy who I slept with when I first came to Manchester and who went out with Mighty Mick the ex-keraoke man from Churchills but who had died suddenly in December (RIP)). Anyway, Chris is a cutey and v friendly and so I chatted with him, trying in vain to flirt before he went off, just mentioning as he left that I should keep blogging! Do I have a reader I wonder - I hope so. And if you are reading Chris, good for you - (and sleep with me!!!!) When AL had to go to work a couple of hours later I went home and watched TV and slept, I had no intention to go to Legends 3 nights in a row and so had already sold my ticket for it more or less as soon as we got out.

Refreshed, I awoke at 10.30 on Sunday and rung my mum and Karen and tried MJM and DB but to no avail so I slept a bit more and then began ironing - I did everything I had and I watched 24 as I ironed as I needed to get it back to Wai Yan at work. I got showered and ready and popped out at 7.30 to go to the karaoke.

Only sang once as I was expecting Andrew to turn up at 10ish but he turned up nearer 11. I'd seen Wes and had a drink with him and I was feeling pretty merry so AL and I went to Rems and then to the Outpost and then to Legends. Now on Sunday as part of the Bear Bash was a Foam party. In the lowest bar/dancefloor of the club was a big foam machine fixed to the ceiling and every 10 minutes or so the entire room was flooded with foam. But first you had to disrobe. So there I am in just my boxers, trainers and socks. I had a money bag with literally just my money and a bottle of poppers. Who shoudl I bump into almost as soon as I had stripped but Jodey from Friday night - he was still pretty but I felt a bit as I wanted to be getting down to the sloppy foamy sexy fun not hanging around with him. Anyway it was a fun night and I was very popular it seemed. Being generously proportioned is no problem in Legends at all. And in the foam, especially when it was over your head, there were hands everywhere. I have never been felt up or had my dick touched more. Although nor have I ever rubbed more people up or touched more dicks!! It was super. There was one lad I liked and he seemed to like me but I think he was waiting got more foam before he made his move but the last of the foam was at about 3am. I then got friendly with anoher really fit guy. Jees, I really fancied this one and was all over him like a rash (even sucking his dick on the dancefloor ... and as the foam had stopped by this pouint everyone could see - I was really drunk, I have to explain). Andrew's keys were in my pocket in my pants in the cloak room and he wanted them so I told my nice lovely friend to stay there and that I'd be back but the queue for the cloackroom was long - it was going home time - and I got dressed before I went downstairs so I missed him which was disappointing in the extreme. Jodey came over wanting to come home with me so I let him and we went for a taxi and once I got outside I realised I had no wallet. Thanks fully someone had handed it it at the cloackroom. It also turned out that I'd lost my phone but I've yet to find that.

Got home and was good for nothing so Jodey and I had to wait till morning to enjoy eachother, But we did and it was good except that at 11.25, mid coitus, Andrew rang on my intercom. I fobbed him off and rung him back 2 hours later when I was ready to leaveand when Jodey was ready for off. Andrew's Dad and Step mum were coming over so he invited me to his flat as he knows I'm good with parents, They wer nice - just like any Yorkshire Mum and Dad and we got on well. We went for a drink and they left us on Canal Street at 4.30 and we had a skinful again. Andrew was working at 8.30 and I know I had more to drink but I had to go on the cokes by 7.30, I was hammered! Bumped into Jodey in the Outpost - that's 3 times in 4 days!! He is very pretty.

At 8, Andrew went to work, I went to Sainsbury's and bought my bodyweight in crap food. I wwas ravenous and could have eaten a dirty donkey. In the end I had a prawn sandwich, some crisps, a choccy bar and some garlic bread and another pasty - I was hungry and really couldn't face cooking the carbonara and pasta I'd bought. As soon as I'd eaten, I promptly fell asleep infront of the telly for 2½ hours again.

A crazy weekend!

Makes feeling like crap all day rather seem worthwhile.!!

Catch up

OK I'm gonna blog this weekend separately but I want to blog what happened in the intervening week or so.

Tuesday 18 April, Went out as Andrew wanted to go for a drink so I met him after work and he went off at 9ish and I stayed in Churchills all night till 12.00, got some chips and wobbled home.


Wednesday 19 April, I had every intention to go home and have an easy night as I was out on Tuesday but while in Sainsbury's after working late I got a text from Wes asking if I was out as he was being sentenced today and had one night of freedom.

So I went home and then AL wanted to go out too so we went out at 8ish and I stayed with Al for about an hour and then met up with Wes and his friend Hayley. We had a very nice time and eventually hayley went home. So me and Wes went home. We chatted a bit, shagged and then he had to get off home as it was late, got to bed at 3.20.

Thursday 20 April, stayed in - I was due a long weekend so I decided to stay in and watch Thunderbirds on DVD. Anyway, exciting news, Andrew found somewhere to live in Manchester!! Yippee!!

Friday 21 April, Went home, see Karen's blog last week. Had a drink in honour of Her Majesty

Saturday 22 April, see Karen's blog

Sunday 23 April, my Mum dropped me off at Huddersfield station at 9.45 and I got the train home, arriving at about 10.45. Me and Andrew went to see Silent Hill and I fell asleep as I was so tired from being at home for the weekend. Andrew was so annoyed that he had to move away from me!! We went home and I fell asleep and then Andrew went out to buy some clothes and he left me asleep. When he got back, I had a shower and got ready and we went out.

It was the Records Management Society Conference from Sun-Tue and so on the way out I registered at the Conference and then we headed up to Canal Street and we drank for about 2½ hours which was nice. Then went to the conference and saw lots of RM friends. Had dinner, got drunk, won the quiz (yippee) then managed to drag a cohort of people to Churchills. Some of us sang. We bumped into Meic from the IoM and we headed back to the Palace at after midnight. I was feeling v drunk and so headed home from the hotel at just before 2am.

Monday 24 April, conferencing all day, a bit boring if you're not a records manager. Anyway one interesting thing is that I was made a pass at by this records manager who was at the conference but who I know is married and so I spurned his attentions.

Tuesday 25 April, conference finished, went home and slept all evening.

Wednesday 26 April, went out, had quite a boring evening so I won't say much about it. In fact I seemed to spend most of the evening planning how exactly i'd refurbish Churchills If I lived there.

Thursday 27 April, minor trauma: Andrew was told there was difficulties with his flat, I shat mmyself thinking he'd never leave but he and the agent managed to find a new place between UMIST and Picadilly and he could move in the next day! Phew. Watched the Final Fantasy DVD with AL then he went to work and I then promptly fell asleep!

My busy bank holiday

Thursday, Andy came round after bowls at 8.40pm to see me before he went to Italy on the rugby tour, did a bit of last minute copulating and he got me done for having garlic for tea! whatever! He left at 10.30pm as he had to be up at 4.00am to get down to the club and start drinking lager........mad men!

Friday was a good day, i managed to blag a fellow jobber to give me a 7' patio heater for nowt, ace! went to Stax with Marlo at t.time it was shut so i couldn't get a chimnea, bag o'shite!!!!!!!! nipped to Bungalow to tell Steven that he couldn't come to my house as too cold to sit out and didn't have a gas bottle for heater yet and he couldn't come indoors as he's allergic to my cats!
Sped home with a Chinese take-away, did my roots and multitasked by shampooing all carpets while tint processing, all chores done, had a shower, warmed up 1/2 the chinky and watched The Usual Suspects on DVD (very hard going and i'd guessed it was Kevin Spacey) while having a few glasses of wine, bed at 12.30am.


Saturday, oh my i was busy...........up early, took all old DVD's to the Oxfam, called for bird seed at pet shop, spent £20 on plants in Cleck Market (note to self, try support more local business's whenever possible), called at the ATA ordered 12 patio flags, a bag of builders sand and 1 bag of decorative bark, then went to B&Q and purchased a BBQ and cover, a bag of easylite briquettes and a further 84 bedding plants, home with all loot £100 lighter!

Spent the next 4hrs, erecting (snigger) BBQ and planting 100 fucking bedding plants, re-doing all tubs and window boxes, tided and swept shed, all back breaking but well worth it, much better than lying in bed with hangover, you really feel like you've done something with your weekend.
Had a shower, ate 2nd 1/2 of Chinese and fell into bed for an hour, then got a wriggle on met Tina arena at 8pm, met Ruth, Mark, Rach, Dean, Hayley, James and Spug in that hell hole called Spoons ( i hate it in there on a weekend it's SO noisy and full of bockers), had 2 pints of shandy, chatted to Deano (who wanted to know if i'd heard from Andy and had Roony broken his leg), then helped Ruth finish her wine so we could get out of there fast!
Had 3 in the Commercial which was much better, that shut so back to spoons for 2 more, they all started playing 21 (that blasted Sarah), so i hit the road and got to bed at 1am.

Sunday, felt shabby, was awoken by fooking ATA man delivering sand he'd forgotten yesterday, once up had a coffee and a fag in the garden, Matt phoned for 1hr and 7mins, laid all bark around new plants, just finished watering the entire garden as it started to rain, called at Mothers (who didn't want to go to Stax............grr!), had a McDonalds, then got ready for Derby, set off at 5.20pm and got there about half 6.

Had a nice night, just chatting and playing on the puter (keep your sneck out), had another Chinese ( with a fooking fried egg on the top? what the fuck, the dirty bastards!!!), that's only 3 in as many days and bed at 1am, didn't sleep very well, never do in other peoples beds.

Sunday was up at 10am, the girls came back from their Dads at 11am (Freya was v.moggy), 2 coffees, 2 slices of toast, Sam helped them with their homework, then we all went bowling, i watched as i am lazy, after the hour was up we mooched round a retail park, till the kids eat free offer came on at 3pm in Frankie and Benny's, so we all ate like kings.

I set off home as soon as we got back,laden down with wine, book and kettle chips for my birthday, free boot (cheers Cass) and a gas bottle from Sam's shed, hurrah!!! was SO so tired, made it home fed poor Moggys' who'd not eaten for 24hrs.............oops!
Then had a bath, p.j's and was laying under tartan blanket like some middle aged dear watching Eastenders when my parents came round to inspect garden, they only stayed 1/2hr as i had no milk and Marlene could only stomach 1 coffee made with coffee mate.

They left i pottered a bit more in garden, with solar lights and such like, then was teary and tired as i've done so much this weekend and had missed AP SO much, decided not to sit snivelling all night, so took myself off to bed, so then it would be this morning and he would be home today :o)

So am bright and breezy, which is a good fooking job as David's had me at the bank of Scotland, Dry cleaners, Bathroon centre, Yorkshire bank, Nationwide, Boots and Morrison's this morning...........how very dare you!!!