Exhausting

I want to break up today.....so much to do and so little time.

Yesterday, spent the day in the following hell holes.

Morrison's
Boots
Argos
Sommerfield's
Living world
The bank
Thomas cook

Honestly was at my desk for approximately 2 hours, i don't actually mind being David's personal shopper as he is paying me.

But it's so tiring, got home, unpacked all shopping, bath, tea, p.j's..............was asleep when Andy turned up (brandishing cash for my necklace, hoorah! at least i haven't bought myself it).....watched Oceans Twelve through 1 eye, well i missed most of it as i was gassing to Sarah about strong developments regarding a certain SS.
Lost at 10pm, wrapped a couple of presents, then decided to shorten a new top i'd bought for Xmas eve (easy as it had no hem, just hack at it with a pair of blunt scissors, if one side looks a bit shorter than the other, just snip a bit more off, ditto...............until it looks like a fucking boob tube.............Karen you knobhead), put top in bin, then have to trail round mad busy shops 2 days before Chrimbo, because wearing last years outfit is unacceptable!!!!!!!!

Slept for 8 hours, then woke up needing a wee, in the middle of a mad dream, Ruth was driving a double decker bus, me and Grandma were in the back, i was fiddling with the hand break as Ruth had nipped for a diet coke, it was rocking as bad as that ferry but from front to back.

Wanted a leisurely day today.........tis not to be.
So far this morning, have nipped to Argos and returned lamp, fetched David a bottle of Irish Tweed from Harvey Nichols. Called and got Leigh a Molten Brown gift pack from the Victoria Quarter (for his wife as he has no legs), then transferred some money into an ISA's to be topped up in April.
Closed another bank account, wrapped all David's presents, STILL need to find a bird table, call at Marlos tonight, then at Rach and Deans, but that's all, till home, bath, tanning, legs, siding a bit of washing, fill some holes in bathroom tiles, was going to treat myself to a take-away and have an early night......................
In preparation for Friday in town (practice of Xmas eve).
Then Xmas eve...............followed by another 2 days of hard drinking till my party on Tuesday.

BUT NO!
Caroline has just mailed to double check me and Andy will be in the Commercial at 7pm tonight for Warren's birthday................oh fuck!

3 MORE SLEEPS!!

3 more sleeps until Santa delivers all our wonderful presents as we've all been good boys and girls this year (with the exception of Miss K.Horner - only kidding sis!)

Well I thought I'd best blog this week leading up to Christmas as Karen might give my present to someone else! Can't be having that.

I don't really have much to blog so it'll be a short but sweet one.

The weekend was a quiet one for me - Friday night stayed in to save a few pennies. Saturday went to see King Kong at the pictures with Dean and Rachel - fantastic film if you don't mind kids everywhere and 3 hours in an uncomfortable seat. Then Saturday night went round to Rachel's to watch the X Factor final - voted for Journey South twice and they came third! Damn it! Decided to go for a few drinks in town, as that's where the boys were at, with Spug and Katy (he's my man)

Stayed in Spoons all night - had 1 bottle of vino and a few diet cokes. Some random guy Spug knew came into the pub (full of confidence for an 18 year old boy) Went to Curry Masters where Dean and Mark bought 2 of the biggest kebabs possible for £6.50 each to see who could eat the most. Both failed miserably after about 5 bites a piece! What a waste - Karen would be going spare!

Left Rachel and Deans at 3 o'clock as I was feeling very sleepy. Lie in Sunday morning and forgtten what we got up to Sunday so can't be that interesting.

Busy busy this week with it being 2 weeks wages for Xmas including Xmas bonus - why thank you! Works Xmas party last night - ok food, free bar and complete randoms dancing like twats! Oh that'll be just our table then - ha ha! Gary got extremely wellied so they all took themselve off home whilst Mark and me had another few beers.

No hangover this morning but still didn't want to get up to go to work but at least I made it in unlike last Thursday when I had to make an excuse that the boiler man was coming round to fix the boiler so I could have an extra hour in bed! 8 pints of Bud and 4 Aftershocks on a School night is not my most sensible idea!

Going shopping for Boxing Day party food and drinks tonight, tomorrow afternoon in the pub with alcoholic IT manager and workmates. Xmas eve avoiding drink to wait for Santa then it'll be time for presents! I'm sooo excited!

Saying that I've been excited for exactly 21 days, 6 hours and 10 minutes! I like to think I'm 10 years old at this time of year!

So there you go - Karen's not allowed to get me done now. Chow for now!! xx

Marks and cunting Spencers

Quick Christmas update

Monday evening was a very tired bunny, now as you all know Matt and i usually chat for 3-4 hrs on a Monday, but he called on the way to Churchill's, so we Kalled for 20 minutes, i was at a loose end after so took myself off to bed at 9.30pm, slept like a baby.

Yesterday (Tuesday) i awoke with more energy than i knew what to do with, set to tidying/cleaning the offices like the Tasmanian devil, 2 1/2 hrs later I'd sweated all my make-up off and was..........erm fucked.
Now I'm the most organised person ever, so all Xmas shopping finished............i miss all the stress of last minute pushing and shoving in large stores.
Mother however thought i would like to save her a job and go and pick Grandma an M&S hamper in my lunch hour.............90 minutes later, i was struggling back to the car laden down with 6 shopping bags like a cart horse in the rain, bag handles cutting into the palm of my hands.......................i thought my head was going to go.

Still mega stressed had to call at Kay's on the way home for a haircut, her husband had very nicely prepared a meal of.....erm tinned tomatoes and pasta with a few olives. We swapped presents, i had my hair trimmed, ate my yummy meal, their hyper 4yr old was making me dizzy, i flew home at 8.20pm as Marlene was picking up the hamper.

Unpacked all shopping, bath and p.j's.............phone called from the Female parent to say she couldn't be arsed to come up and get the fucking thing! I nearly burst a blood vessel.
Breath deeply!

Watched the Catherine Tate show, chain smoked and had a heart to heart with Sam from 11pm till nearly midnight,I'm entertaining her and the Cassy next Thursday, we're doing lunch. Hooray!
No news today, done bits of shopping for David, chilling out, going to have a nice lunch, a relaxing afternoon and seeing AP tonight.
I am so glad I'm not chucked for acting like a buffoon in front of his parents.
His words "i don't think you made a fool of yourself Karen.................well no more than usual"..............oooh, who's a comedian???

So that's the lot, tic tic 4 more days..........AND I've only had 3 acceptances to the party invites next week and 1 decline................get your finger out people.

Excitement

Well today is the second most significant day in terms of homosexual rights in the UK ever.

Whatever people say about Tony Blair and the Labour Government, in terms of human rights, the UK is a hugely better place than it was 9 years ago.

T'was the week before Christmas and all through the luxury city centre warehouse conversion, not a creature was stirring not even a Mus musculus!

OK well my weekend began on Thursday at about 20 to 5. Andrew had come home from work the night before feeling ill and having left his house key at work. He riung me on Thursday saying he was off work poorly and so I toild him to get some sleep and take it easy. So anyway at 20 to 5 I gets a call from little Andrew who is at home poorly and has taken the day off asking if I'll come home. I was off out with Michelle that evening feeling abit guilty that I was abandoning illness boy so I went home there and then, cooked him sausage sandwiches and a nice cup of tea and popped out at 7pm.

Met up with Michelle and her intended and the father of her child, Chris and he was wankered. I bought a drink and he had to have a diet coke. He was completely incoprehensible which was very amusing. I asked if the present I'd got their child for its Xtening was OK or weird and Michelle said it was lovely but Chris said it was weird, then he said I was "fucking weird but alright" and that Michelle was a fucking bitch. All very funny. We had to be moved from where we were sat as a party was coming for half past 7 so we moved to where a party was just leaving and hoovered up loads of food that they'd left. Loads of food that hadn't even been touched - prawn balls, samosas, dim sum, chicken nuggets, bhajis, sausages wrapped in bacon, wedges - yum. I got Michelle a book on interesting foreign words that don't have English equivalents (like the Dutch uitwaaien - to go walking in the wind for fun) which I thought would be funny, interesting, perfect for reading on the bog and relevant since Michelle has a Linguistics degree. She got me a book on Street Magic - who does she think I am, David Blaine? Anyway, I'm sure it will be very funnny when I learn some of them and amaze everyone at Xmas!

We went to Churchills where it was a special tribute night for Mighty Mick and to raise some money to bury him (I think they raised about £3000). Michelle and I put down to sing but we were in there for about an hour and a half and we weren't called so we went home. Andrew had been asleep and wasn't well so I said I'd take the next day off.

Next day Andrew was feeling better so we went shopping for a few bits, had some lunch, and a few drinks and just had a really nice day. We got home at 4pm ish and almost as soon as we got home he seemed to get worse - I think being in the cold probably didn't help but he looked drawn, tired and as if he was about to cry. At 6pm he said he wanted to go to the hospital and so we watched Malcolm in the Middle, rang for a taxi and set off at about 20 to 7 where he was seen almost instantly. We were home, done and dusted by 10 past 8. He had some infection and had some antibiotics which he was supposed to take every 12 hours. We went to see Narnia later on which was good and were in bed at 1am.

Saturday I had a busy day, met Matti from London at 1.30, spent the afternoon with him and then met Alastair at just after 4. It was nice to see them both and as the whole afternoon revolved around drinking I got hammered - 3 with Matti in a pub on Deansgate, then 2 cocktails in the Living room, then 2 pints in Churchills then 2 more in the Rain Bar. Alastair and I met up with Andrew who had bought a new mobile phone and lots of presents for me which is making me worry that he spent more on me than I did on him, Andrew also brought my presents to Alastair - a book on shit and Alan Bennett's memoirs. Alastair was going to bank transfer me £15 which uis always the most christmassy of gifts!! Alastair went home at 8.30 so Andrew and I went home and watched a new DVD: Mean Girls - v good and then I was falling asleep so we were in bed for 5 to 11.

Sunday began abruptly at quarter to 6 when the Rain Bar alarm went off (for the second time in 10 days - I have since reported it to the council) so Andrew jumped out of bed and played with his phone in bed for an hour and a half. Then I fell asleep and he left me in bed and played in the living room. I woke again at 9.15 and he carried on playing and we had fun using bluetooth between our phones. I went to Mc Donalds and later we went out and did a bit more shopping. I bought ½lb Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee for £20.40. We went to a fancy dress place for an outfit for Andrew at New Year - apparently all the staff dress up. I think therefore that his work should pay but no apparently not. Well he tried on a lovely sailor's suit - and I may have to buy him one it was so sexy - but the hat didn't fit, the joker outfit was rubbish but he looked good as Robin (ala Burt Ward from the 1960's batman film and TV show) but his packet was a little too bulgy for my liking. So that was that. We got some food and went home and played Final Fantasy for 7 of the next 8 hours interrupting only to watch Corrie, Li'l Britain and to eat our tea. And then to bed at just after midnight!

This morning, I got up, ironed a shirt, moved washing from the drier and then washing from the washer to the drier, showered etc, left as usual. Normal working Monday. Then an hour later I gets a call saying I'd locked poor Andrew in - he had no keys and was trapped so I had to get a cab home to let him out - as if he was a cat!! Anyway he had to go back to the doctor's today so I hope he'll be OK and then he has a 12 hour shift from 7-7 tonight so I won't see him till tomorrow night!

Christmas party's

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, the festive cheer has touched me a tad early this year, as in......... lets drink as much as we can possibly can fit down our gullet, then lose our memory in true drunken lush style.
Friday was a good day, all work colleagues in high spirits, we phoned radio aire/magic 828 and donated 600 toys to the secret santa toy appeal and we got a mention on radio....yippee!
David was on fine form, he gave us a weeks wage xmas bonus and an extra 100 quid coz he felt like it. It all went tits up momentarily as his Mum was rushed into hospital, but luckily she was fine so he made it to the works Christmas party on Friday night, the night was erm............shite, Andy picked me up at 7.20pm, dropped me off at the Queens in Leeds and promised to come back and get me at 11.45pm, to cut a long story short, the food was sensational, everyone got wankered i'd had maybe 3 beers, 4 glasses of wine and a couple of £8 cocktails, it was 10.30pm, i was sozzled, David was spitting food on the floor and carrying on alarmingly, Bradley had gone home, all Elliott's rich Jew boy mates started to turn up and put drinks on our tab, cunts, Michael was asking why Chino Latino didn't sell Bacardi breezers...........cheque please!
Abby (Jewish princess agent) was on her way back to Manchester, so i blagged a lift.
Phoned AP to say i was sorted, he sounded 1/2 glad he could go to bed, but a bit cross he could've gone out...........oops! So Bedfordshire 11pm. What a disgrace.


Saturday was rudely awoken by boss calling mobile, to see how much of a state he'd been in last night.
Had a busy day so stayed up, Mike the heating engineer came at lunchtime and we wheeled the new cooker down from the warehouse on a sackcart, he took the old one out, fitted the new one and mended my water heater.........hurrah!
Called at Marlene's and took their Christmas cards, stayed an hour and chatted, Steven was acting the goat as usual, home for 4.30pm had a bite to eat, then got ready and taxied to the club for 5.30pm, Andy and his Brother were on pint number 8 as the match had been called off at 1/2 time (frozen pitch) so they'd been boozing since 3pm.

He bought me a pint, then me and Claire went to sit down, his Mum phoned at 7pm to find out where we were as the buffet was being served.
It was a really cool party, i was greeted by one of his aunt's who said "oh you must be scary"..........i will fucking kill Paul Hemmingway.
Andy was being really gobby to his Mum and saying he didn't want any food from the buffet and she'd to call and fetch him a curry about 11.30pm.
Basically, he sat chatting to his Uncles........refused to play any games, while i was thrown in the thick of it and was miming at fucking charades with all his relatives.
Decided drinking heavily was the way forward...................oh me!
4 Stella's, 2 pints and a full bottle of white wine later.....I'd been back chatting Andy's Dad "get with the programme Dave" when he didn't understand a certain game, his Mum had cornered me in the kitchen and was interrogating me.
"he's not too quiet for you is he?" (yeah he is a bit, can you have a fiddle with his voicebox) "he finds certain situations really difficult" (so do it, jumping out of aeroplanes for one). "He's better in small groups instead of big crowds" (he's shy, not retarded).

Told her we got on really well, he talks more than i do,he was fine with all my friends and I'd been seeing him for over 3 yrs.....yeah, that'll shut her up..............Karen you stupid cunt.
She looked horrified and started apologising and saying he was a very private person.

John and Claire left to go to Katy's (hiya Karen), we didn't want to go with them as Andy had lost the ability to speak, i hadn't finished making a fool of myself yet, i was goading AP to eat a lb of Edam and i'd give him a quid, inbetween chainsmoking outside with his fat cousin (who didn't know who was who between John and Andy) and her Husband who'd had 3 heart attacks. I think Matthew once got it right, when I'm drunk i turn into a naughty school girl.........i had this glint in my eye, wondering what would happen if i told his parents my age then said I'd shagged in their bed in the same breath.

The next thing i knew it was 7.30am Sunday (Bermuda triangle, black-out experience) and i was been prodded in the back.......fucking hell, was so hung-over.
Horrid horrid, when Andy had left after dinner......i mustered the strength to strip the bed and do 2 wash loads, but that was my lot.
Ligged on the sofa for the next 11 hrs, watched EE omnibus and sobbed uncontrollably when Nana Moon died, Alice in wonderland followed by the Wizard of Oz, by this time i was well and truely welded in place to my ergonomic sofa, Mother popped in for an hour..........i then sat through 4 hours of 100 best Christmas moments, and took myself off to bed at 1.30am.
Thinking the best thing about the weekend, was it was all FREE! i have spent £7 in 3days (how good is that?).

So 6 more sleeps till "he" comes, 5 more days at work, which i can manage..........done the normal this morning bacon sarnies and blogging, Jews playing cards.......same old!!!

Oh yeah and i want everyone to blog this week...........please.....it's Christmas!!!

Still happy

Sorry folks (especially all the glum fed up ones), but i can't help it.......it's all gravy baby.

Having a lovely week, was mad busy bee on Tuesday evening, slight change of itinary, never got to Mothers, rushed home and did my roots for the party on Friday.....while tint was processing, painted radiator and fireplace copper, then touched up bits of emulsion with paint brush tied to clothes prop while stood on one leg.

Steven brought my necklace up, that Andy has got me for Chrimbo.........we had a feast of doritos, salsa dip, lasagne and chips, chocolate shortcake mousse and a pot of tea.
Matt phoned while it was being prepared and after we ate, we ligged on sofas fit to burst chatting like old biddies.
Cleaned carpet again, did a few more chores, bed at 12, read till 1am.

Yesterday my spending addiction spiralled out of control as i found myself buying new pans set, digital camera, cordless phone (with caller display and really good answer phone, prompted by Matt) and new cat scratching post. Just in my dinner hour.
Work was the usual, but drained by David's mood swings! Phoned Andy to say was too tired for flicks, so we spent the night under the duvet............as we are sluts, well that was after we'd played with all the new gadgets (ooh Matt's dad would have been jealous).
Ate some chilli, dips and salsa and Xmas chocolates as it's nearly here!!! well the tree's up!
AP left, i watched Lost, read a bit and was possitively pooped by midnight!

Tried to curb my addiction of chucking cash at useless tat today and have only bought, a new mop and bucket, cleaning tidy, 2 crates of beer, cat bed, 12 litres of lemonade..........oh fuck i need therapy!

Anyhow, nowt to do tonight..........nails, hair, tanning etc, ready for works Xmas shin-dig tomorrow, Poor AP has offered to come get me at midnight, would you ever? is he mad?, me barfing in his footwell and breathing alcohol fumes all over him........telling him oh so funny stories, that are only really funny if you have supped 3 bottles of wine!

Maybe there was method in his madness as he casually dropped in we are going to Gill and Dave's (his parents) Saturday night for a family party on his Dad's side............whooppee!!!???!

Watch this space!

Tickety boo

Reasons to be cheerful 1 2 3..........

It's Christmas in 11 days.

Xmas bonus's are cash in hand this Friday.

All Christmas presents bought and wrapped.

We've just had our first of many Christmas fuddles.

Off to pictures tomorrow and pizza hut with Môn amour.

All decorating finished.

Had a good nights sleep last night.

Works Christmas party on Friday, all expenses paid at Chino Latino.....Andy taking me, cabbing it back and going to get trollied.

I can get an extra present from AP as the necklace i chose isn't as much as he expected.
Yippee!

Off to Marlene's tonight, to deliver specially hand picked parent card,..........ooh and she has a new car.

Sam has a "date" tomorrow with D the H!!!!! oooh!

I have earned double wage this month in commission without actually working.

Last but not least, we're bidding on a 75K clearance parcel of fags and booze! there is a god!

Karen's being a poo-head and telling me off for not blogging - she seems to forget that some of us have jobs where we actually have to work

OK the last week is below, I am aware that I need to write the entry for the week before but that will take time which is something I don't have at the minute:

Tuesday 6 December: Andrew was off work. I worked till 6.30 woke him up, we played on computer till 3.48. Not much else to report on that day unless you want me to go into how we actually played the computer game.

Wednesday 7 December: Had a meeting in the afternoon and left it at 3.30 and went xmas shopping. Bought Andrew a camera and a casino game, a few other bits and bobs and a watch for me (£4.99 - bargain). Got home at 6pm made sausage and mash and played on the computer again, this time till about 02.30

Thursday 8 December: Feeling very tired at work and unable to focus on my computer screen. Got home at 6.30 ish I think, woke Andrew up at 7. Watched a bit of telly, including little britain. Played on computer game a bit and went out. Went to amusements but weren't lucky. Went to Churchill's and I sang some Elton, Andrew went wandering and I stayed put. Found out that Mighty Mick, the ex-karakoke man had died in Lanzarote where he'd moved to. He was 44. I was gutted and feel v bad. I slept with his boyfriend and there we are, only 13 months later - he's dead. And it probably was of a broken heart - or at least a heart attack. RIP Mick. Went home and to bed at 2.30.

Friday 9 December: Felt shit when I woke up and Andrew suggested that I ring in sick which I did - I didn't fancy another day of the computer screen playing tricks with me. Slept till 1pm, watched shit TV. Andrew was working 7-6 so he left at five-ish (He was looking pretty fine in his nice blue shirt) and I went to meet Janet for 3 pints at the same time. Went shopping afterwards and had garlic bread, and samosas for tea while watching telly, roasted a chicken and went to bed at 1ish.

Saturday 10 December: Andrew woke me when he got in at 8.00 but I went back to bed with him. Up again at 12. Xmas shopping and getting shoes resoled and heeled. Back home for 3. Andrew was working at 6 so needed to be out by 4. Andrew was tired and seemed out of sorts and I left home with him to pick up shoes and buy more stuff (digital radio - rubbish argos gave me 12 batteries instead of 6!). Went for a pint as I was feeling a bit down - unappreciated by Andrew and knocked for 6 still by Mighty Mick's death. Had 8 in the end. Chatted to some nice straight men who'd come out for a quiet pint of two in the village - went to The New Union then and was stalked by my stalker which wasn't good. Home at 10.30. Fell asleep watching Xtra factor repeat.

Sunday 11 December: Andrew woke me at 7.25. We watched and laughed about the fire in Hemel near where he used to live. He was nice and made up for his curtness the day before. Bed at 8.20, back up at 1pm. Watched TV. Woke him at 4, he went off to work at 5. More telly, phoned my mum and karen, had chicken for dinner, watched royal variety performance, hoovered in living room, washed and dried clothes and washed up, bed at 1.30am.

Lie-Ins....................0

Where do i start? seems forever since i last blogged, am so so tired and have had a very hectic last 3 days............... dead on my feet this morning, SO wanted to blob work, still made it in and am on my 2nd coffee!

Thursday night we went to see Spuggies new flat, v.posh..........the intention was to have a takeaway and get pissed, by the time we'd collected our Chinese and Curry respectively and eaten, it was 10pm, so i had one shandy and dropped Rach and Ruth off at 11pm. OOh yeah and Sarah 3-bellies phoned, she's home in 2 weeks for Chrimbo and is alive and well.

Friday morning was woken at 9 hundred hours by decorator father, he'd stripped the walls Thursday and just had to paper Friday, poor Dad it took him 7 hrs with a short break for a bacon butty, he toddled off saying he couldn't be arsed to pack his tackle away and he'd come and get it Saturday.
I'd spent the day shopping in Leeds/Ikea and washing bedding, cleaning etc, but still mustered the energy to shift his pasting table/ladders............blah di blah, hang new curtains and pictures, move all furniture back and have bedroom looking like a palace, before i went to fetch Ruth and Mark at 7.30pm..............jeez i was fucked, wanted to sit in my nice bedroom for the evening looking at new soft furnishings and sighing a lot, not beating the hustle bustle of Cleck pubs and pre-Christmas party revellers, we met Andy in spoons, it was absolutely heaving, lucky Ruth said we should move after our 1st pint or we'd have been in for a shit night!!!

Moved to the Commercial, where we played doubles at pool (i'm so shit and lost every game). We then moved in to the snug and proceeded to drink like bastards and get totally wankered (or was that just me???), Hayley and Spug arrived and we had a merry old time, Ruth spent the hole evening telling Andy embarrassing pissed up stories from my past..............the shame!
Asked him if i was chucked, comedy moment when he said he'd just sup his pint off, then went to the loo, i was looking all dewy eyed and saying "you've forgotten your coat"..........he quipped "keep it, something to remember me by"..........................oh how we laughed!!!

7 pints later i went blind, Ruth and Mark went to meet some mates at midnight and Spug and Hayley went to meet the Kray twins in the regal.
Offered to drop Andy at home, so we could share a taxi, but he really needed to come and look at my new bedroom......ha ha, he agreed the new bedding did indeed make a huge difference and i saw him on his way at 1am...........(rugby Saturday and he needed his kip).

I fell into an unconcious slumber and nearly fucking freaked when my father popped his head round my bedroom door at 11am Saturday, yes i know you said you were coming for your stuff, but fucking knock, i am naked in bed and could, for all intents and purposes have been "at it" with AP, you dickhead!!!

Begrungingly got up and did some tutting, picked my coat up from Next then tried to get a Mcdonalds from Elland Road on match day (i'm such and idiot), called in Burger King and got a few bits from B&Q.
Home and packed for Buxton, Andy came straight after the game and i let him drive as i was scared to drive over the tops in the dark, also it has been known for me to crash into cement gate posts in the Peak District.
We made good timing and gotto Buxton at 6.15pm, we'd been instructed to call and get crusty bread on the way.
The night was fab, lots of stella and wine.........yummy meal prepared by Chris, goats cheese and roasted vegetables, lamb casserole, fruit flan and the biggest cheese platter i have ever seem!!!

The kids had taken their hoisted toys off to bed at 8pm, we didn't eat till 9pm and didn't finish eating till 10.30pm.....we were all quite pissed by the end of the meal, Andy was singing along to Xfactor on tape, on his own.......... worryingly!!!
Dawn and Rhian went to bed at midnight, Andy went up soon after, showed him where we were sleeping on the top floor with it's en-suite, he gave me a kiss and slapped my arse and said "don't be getting really pissed Karen and coming and wetting the bed or owt".
Yeah coz i'm always doing that!

Chris, Gabe and me got mullered drinking and smoking on the porch and retired some time going up to 2am.

Up with the larks at 9am Sunday, coffees, croissants, toasted crusty bread with peanut butter and jam, then we trundled over to the park, Andy hadn't taken a coat so borrowed Chris's...........Thirza's squeeling " Andy why are you wearing my Daddies coat it's too big for you?".
Kids played in the playground, we all got the miniture train around the park, then headed back to play on their trampoline in the back garden.
Set off for home at 12.15pm, got back at 1.30pm (i drove as it was daylight, ha ha i'm such a girl).
Dropped Ap off, home, 2 wash loads, afternoon nap, tea, EE omnibus, then spent yesterday evening chatting to Matt on the phone, wrapping presents and erecting fucking cunting Christmas tree that came in 42 pieces!!!!!

News in brief

1.Bedroom is now void of all possessions ready for Jim to do his stuff with his wallpaper stripper tomorrow and Friday.

2.Ruth, Mark, Mum and Steven played scrabble, watched Morcombe and Wise and ate stew last night (i am jealous).

3.Andy Porrait is off work with his Man cold.

4.David won at cards last night and is in an ace mood.

5.I've been and got new suede chocolate brown curtains for bedroom and am v.excited.

6.Paul has picked a 2-seater BMW for his new company car (nobba, how much stock will he be able to get in the back of that?).

7.Carpet stain has now disappeared, 1 last shot tonight it will be gone.........yippee, i am so happy.

8.Spent last night, eating liver, ironing ,watching t.v and daydreaming about new colour scheme (earth colours) for bedroom.

9.Matt and Rich are emailing about some drunken pub crawl at the L.S.E.

10.Not heard from 3-bellies for donkeys years, last i heard she was trapped in her car, ducking bird poo.

11.AP better be well for Buxton on Saturday or there will br trouble, (he's just phoned looking for sympathy as i didn't txt him back).

12.18 days to Christmas....fanFUCKINGtastic

Addicted to shopping

I'm living in Next at the moment, all the staff keep staring at me when i go in.
Yesterday, i literally didn't do a stitch of work.
Bought the Vax carpet cleaner, swapped AP's jeans, took Mums jumpers back, fetched some samples from Tradex, got a jumper and leather gloves at Next.
Called at Nicolas for waxing etc, Home at 6.30pm and started cleaning the living room carpet, what a ball ache.............fucking stain still there, need to do it again tonight!

So didn't get my tea till 9pm, had a quick natter with Sam, Kevin was there.........Hmmm!
Watched EE on tape and read till 1.00am in Bed.

Today i've been to Next 3 times.....don't ask, nipped home at lunch to get coat to take back (note to self, try things on in shop, you idiot!).
Done nothing else only fetch David a sandwich, AP phoned streaming with cold (what is it about men when they are poorly), anyhow he's going to take it easy the next couple of days and did i want to go to the pictures on Thursday (funny how he knows exactly when he'll be better).

Told him Ruth and i were going to Spugs new flat for beer and Bhuna or Wine and Chinky (yet to be decided).........then he sounded all put out and said he'd see me Friday then, or he'd come around tomorrow if he is better a day early.

Hhhaaaha.......so the next two nights i have to myself, to shampoo carpet and empty bedroom of contents to start decorating! deep joy!

While i have a life full of domestic chores and shopping i have to keep reminding myself it is all funded by working in this zoo.

Arrived to work today to find 2 holes in ladies toilet door and the door handle hanging off (David locked Leigh in there last night, by propping garden tools against the door, so he tried to break it down).

Leigh has now just borrowed my sandwich box to fill with water, has balanced it on top of door for when Bradley arrives!

Won't that be funny? ha ha hee hee??!!??
NOT!

Where the fuck is Matt?
I know he is back from Berlin!

Oh now David and Leigh are wrestling on the floor, screaming like girls as one hid the others mobile.

Let me out of here!

V.tame but pissed 3 days running.

Thursday was a mad day, errands galore: so was out of the office all afternoon, picking up samples in Crossgates, fetching David's jeans from the dry cleaners (must tell him, you can put them in the washing machine to save him £6 next time).
Then queuing at his local pub for Xmas eve tickets like a schmuck...........
Home t.time and couldn't stop, flying round mopping, washing, then called at the chippy and went to Ruth and Marks with his Bday pressie, we all wolfed our tea down, then set to putting up Ruth's tree.......funny!
She had to take all the baubles off as she didn't know you put the lights on 1st............
Anyhow to cut a long story short after much cursing and a few broken ornaments, it was up..talk about a kid at Christmas (literally). Cute!

Called at Marlo's on the way home with some freebies for her works secret Santa (with her being hard up), taped little Britain while i emptied washer, sided clothes from airer........blah di blah, Matt phoned to discuss tin openers, Frank Skinner and bed.

Friday was very chilled out, did v. little work, White Rose at lunch to get Steven a Morrisey book from HMV (fooking rammed, not happy)........ the afternoon flew, had a light snack at t.time, fetched Ruth at 7.30pm and met little Ap in spoons at 8pm (bless, suppose he didn't bargain on spending the entire night with 5 women). He was in his element, Ruth suggested he be our pimp, to which he responded "he'd have a job on with us lot", more wise cracks in the Old house saying Tina was a really good singer, when we were doing a duet......................the cheeky fucker, he went off home after 5 pints around 11pm, as he was playing rugby Saturday.

Me, Ruth, Beth, Tina and Jo stayed a bit, i'd not had loads but had a glass of wine (to help Ruth out), think this tipped me over the edge.......needed food and bed, so sacked the regal off. Dragged Ruth to sloppies where she ordered a blue Wkd while i ate my lamb korma, missed my footing coming down the stairs.........nearly went arse over tit, stumbled up to A2B and saw a 40yr old woman scrapping with some 17yr old lads......funny as hell, only in Cleck!

Saturday was up at 9.30am, went to the church Chrismas Fayre with my Mother (Dad was dressed as Santa in the grotto), my family are such freaks i'm so ashamed and thank the lord each day that i am the normal one.
Had some cream cake an old lady had baked with a coffee and bought a DVD to show willing from one of the stalls (later found out that my parents had donated it), chatted to Matt's Auntie Jean (she wishes he'd visit her more, people forget about her also said hello to her Daughter Nicky, was there any jobs at my place as their Nicky was looking for one), made a hasty retreat as she was yelling after me, were me and Matt "just friends" and how much i reminded her of Caroline.

Mothers friends were arriving from Birmingham at 11.30am, so we had a spot of lunch them i dropped Mum and Brenda off at Readmans and gave them each a 10% off voucher, while i shot into Leeds on the hunt for AP's Xmas present, got him his trainers and Levi 501's that he'd requested Friday night (told him he'd get slippers if he didn't make his mind up).
Collected Mum and her mate, nipped into the bungalow to have a word with Dad about what day he could decorate my bedroom (he was 1/2 cut entertaining Derek) brilliant Dad why don't you get one of those little monkeys on your shoulder, to go with your red nose?
Had more fish and chips (twice in 3 days) picked up Katy F after getting ready for our 7 hr drinking session.

Then met the gang in Spoons, Spug, Rach and Dean were really thirsty and were already there, birthday boy was a bit late..........then his mates and family started arriving, fucking hell we filled the entire top 1/2 of the pub, there must have been 30 of us, i got Sat with Katy (slagging off Grants family), chatted to Rach and Tina a bit, but was completely hemmed in and couldn't mingle, so was v.relieved when AP arrived (slightly worse for drink) at 9.30pm, with Grant, Blacky, Russ, Matt, Quinny etc. he was being lovely, laughing at my drunk Dad, saying if we get married that'd be him, then getting all insecure saying what if i left him for someone else as he knew he wasn't the best looking bloke in the world...............what a nobba!!!!

I nipped to the loo, came back and some bird had him by the tie and was cracking on to him, hhhhaaaaaaaaa look at Ap, Mr.Casanova..........smiled sweetly then took him home at 12.30pm to give him a good hiding.
God we were drunk, took two glasses of orange juice up to bed, then collapsed unconcious in all my underwear.

Sunday up at 7.00am for a bit of exercise, slept it off..........we didn't get up till midday, lazy fecks. He went home to do his boy stuff (mates, footy, scratching his nads and farting) i had a lovely day of stripping the beds, washing clothes, tescos, EE omnibus and big fry up hangover food.
Marlene came visiting last night, she wants me to take back some jumpers to Readmans (don't worry i've plenty time on my hands, Mrs. i only work 2 days a week), she stopped an hour, we've decided to go halves on a carpet cleaner (yes you need blush, you know who you are).
Finished off the weekend, with American Beauty on DVD and a bottle of Banrock Station ( i am a product of my Father), up with the larks today though.
EARLY to work, have taken the bank and bought a Vax, need to take Andy jeans to swap for a smaller size as i thought he was taller and fatter than he is and mothers jumpers back to swap for a Sleep easy pillow!
Crawling round David today as i need to take Friday off to help Dad decorate and let the man in with the new cooker...........daren't even tell him i want to go 1/2hr early tonight to go to the beauticians...........
Oh Heck!!!!

It's December!!!

How giddy am i?

I love Christmas, more so this year (take your fingers out from the back of your throat, you twats).
It's like 3 weeks on Saturday.....yippee, meaning this time in 3 weeks, it'll be work wind down.

Oh i miss the old days of being in a big company, the nipping to the Commercial at lunch (Emma and her pie and chips), LA bowl for dodgems, works do's and all the girlies discussing what you're wearing and the overnight stays in the Hilton.
Still mustn't grumble, the boys here are as good as gold, Paul tries to look interested when I'm describing my latest sequinned shrug.

Plus i have the girlies at home and in Derby, but not in New Farnley (ooh i'm so cross with Kay again, txt yesterday "i will ring you tonight....PROMISE XX".....so Tina phoned, Matt phoned, did Kay phone? did she fook! The wench!!!

Anyhow i aren't bovvered, coz i was watching Phoenix nights on DVD with AP...., classic line when i cried out in horror at Potter pissing in a pop bottle under the quilt.
"He can't walk Karen, cut the guy a bit of slack".
Like it's real!!!!

He is so sweet, Tuesday as you know i went to the pictures with brother no.3 (followed by pizza hut......... we ate like kings, Steven tipped the waitress £5, he'll have none of his 10 large left at this rate), we saw Flightplan, it was really good, well worth watching, Steven agreed..........got out of pictures, 5 misscalls from Andy, to tell me Cricket dinner cancelled and needed to give me plenty notice to make other plans if i needed to.
Hooray, i can go out with girls (1st time in months, due to Derby, Newcastle, Dublin, Wobble, games night, firework party, i seriously can't remember the last time), then get this, "oh if you're going into town, i'll come with you for a few"...........

I'm going to get so sacked by the afore mentioned. Sisters boyf. birthday tomorrow, out Saturday night for that, when someone lets me know whats happening!!!. Getting stalled of hanging round at the club after rugby to be honest, will make a nice change........BUT "will you have your phone on you? i won't know where you are in town to meet you"............doh! he's turning into Grant.
Oooh phoned Katy F last night about our Amsterdam trip (she was shopping in the White rose at silly o'clock), and Grants left the club and is going to play for Heath........what will she do on a Saturday night? well this week, she's coming into town with us!!!

So that's my weeks news, tonight off to Ruthracks for fish and chips and to take Mark's present, a local weekend planned before we set off to the peak district next weekend, Brrr!!! it's gonna be a cold one.

Still, well worth it for the company, top fodder and of course the festive BOOZING!