Simple life

Not as in simple in the head, but little things make me happy, routine, home, nice food...........well i won't go into my top 20 favourite things like i did with Matt and Rich yesterday.

But i like a simple life,have had a very dull week so far, but am perfectly happy with it all.

Monday consisted of, being a bit sleepy at my work, in the evening i cooked pasta (froze loads of portions) and chatted to Matt on the phone till 11pm, Bed, t.v and read!

Tuesday, was v. busy at work, getting loads of samples in, called at Dad's to drop off stock for Church fare, home, tea, pottered.......all same old!

Wednesday, had to shoot home in my dinner hour to let a surveyor in, Alan also wants a man to measure up for new windows, was v.tired yesterday, didn't sleep well on Tues. night, probably dreaming about that fooking boat......yesterday afternoon, not satisfied that i am top sourcer........David made me put up loads of sample computer desks.....seemingly Jewish men have an inability to do anything manual..........idiots!
Had a lazy night last night, AP came up after tea we watched "Hostel" on pirate.........v.good!
Early to bed again, had a very good nights sleep last night... thank fuck!

Leigh's car's broken down today, so David has noone to play with, so he's making me go through parcels, in-between asking random questions "would you say you're a Ladette?", "Do you think you and Andy will get married?", eh?
But am in a good mood today, trying not to let them annoy me by leaving doors open, messing up the kitchen, leaving taps running, closing my work down to look on Jdate, no it's all fine..........doesn't bother me one iota!!!!

My plans for the next few days..........................none! boo hoo!
No, not up to much, saving for when i need to blackmail the captain, when the boats sinks and there aren't enough lifeboats..........
Plus lots of expensive things ahead, birthdays, weddings, engagement do's, 40th.

SO, this evening, i plan to iron, fake-tan, have a nice tea and watch the box.
Tomorrows plans are much the same, me and the boy will watch DVD's, eat pizza and if i'm lucky he will let me fake-tan him!
Saturday, hopefully will swim again, then at the night time, when it is dark i will venture to the pub and drink my own bodyweight in crème de menthe, with egg nog chasers!

The rugby boys might be doing the wobble, which we leave me in no-mans land till Andy gets to town, oh woe is me, please lord do not leave me with KF, waffling incessantly about utter tripe............for hours on end!

Dark side

God I'm such an adult!
Get a load of my grown up mature weekend!

Friday, pictures with AP, we saw Inside Man, it was shite don't go see it......I'd drank too much pop and needed a wee half way through (how embarrassing, making everyone on our row stand up, ah fuck em). Andy was on fine form and acting the court jester all night.
Home for 10pm, had lasagne (v. late tea), a few glasses of shiraz and Bedfordshire soon after!

Saturday up with the larks, went to the local pool and swam a mile, that'd be A.M, thank you, i take a bow!
Home with fresh loaf, pottered all day, nails, fake-tanning, shaving (face), had a healthy grilled breakfast, showered and napped on the sofa, only to awake 40 mins before picking KF up, got a wriggle on and we met MJW and Sarah in Aldo's at 7pm, had a lovely meal as always, Pino was rushing us in and out, so we'd sat down at around 7.30pm i reckon, had polished off 2 bottles of wine, our starters and mains and were out the door for 8.40pm.

Spent the rest of the night in the Spoons, drinking their rancid lager...found a table near the back and we seem to attract groups of friends who came to sit with us in shifts.
Firstly Sarah and MJ, now i must stress i didn't get to chat to them as much as I'd have liked, mainly because i had Katy wittering in my ear constantly for 3 hours.
Andy and Grant joined us for a while, AP was mullered told me he wasn't coming to Rhian's 40th as it was the Sportsmans dinner and that we'd have to change our flight home from France as he'd miss the England match, then the next breath looking at me all gooey and saying "i can think of worse things than marrying you", WTF?

MJ and Sarah toddled off home, Matthew was more drunk than he realised, getting Sarah a shandy instead of a reef, Sarah was just full, as she'd demolished fish and chips before Aldo's, as soon as their seats became available, Caroline, Debbie, Kim and her new bloke sat with us for a while, Katy was as drunk as Oliver Reed, snogging Matt W again (it'll all end in tears), by all accounts Spug had to put her in a taxi as she couldn't walk..............hhhahhaaaaaa!

When Caroline and Co nicked off for their Kebabs, we were joined by, Ruth, Mark, Spug, Mikey and Phil. Ruth said we were singing, but she tends to lie.......me and Potrat were v rangooned, mixing wine, lager and cocktails only seemed a good idea at the time.
Home and to kip for 1am.

Sunday a certain person wanted to get jiggy at 6am, not a fooking chance, i was ill as can be, he left at 1.30pm, i literally had to set the alarm for 3pm, put a wash on, showered and picked him up at 4pm, tried to avoid looking straight at Gill so she couldn't see my blood shot eyes, poor Gill, she was mid sentence asking how i was and Andy shut the door in her face.
Got to Marlene's for Mother's day Sunday lunch, cooked by Jim, had a very pleasant afternoon, middle brother was there, he's split up with his bird.............oh heck!
I spent the entire afternoon being the butt of everyone's jokes, i'm such an easy target.

The meal was lovely, Andy was suitably impressed as it was "plain" food, Mum got a box of old photos out...................run for the hills!!!!! we stayed till 7.20 then made our exit!
Dropped him home, we were in a right state the pair of us, did fuck all last night, bit more washing, sighing, made todays sandwiches, vacced up, clean up Luther's sick, sighed some more, watched Random Hearts, then bed at 1.30am.

Okay day today so far, Paul fell through the door and 9.30, pissed out of his head still, David came in shortly afterwards with a mental hair-do, he looks like Blake Carrington, me Leigh and Mark have just spent the last hour guffawing at them, thank the lord for my sober state and nice hair!

No Matt

He's working from home today, so I've noone to email, it's going to be a long day!
Thing is I've nothing to say, so i'll have to make something up.

Otherwise i'll have to do some work and believe you me, I've done plenty this week...well for me.

Quick run through last few days...
Wednesday, called at Marlo's again on the way home to drop her off her Mother's day shrubs, Ap came up, we watched the footie for 2 hrs!! lucky me!!...........he was cross coz Matt had accused him of gossiping to Woz, he said he never wanted to know what Matt was up to again as he wasn't interested...................ooh, moody knickers!
He soon came round and was making the cats toys from silver foil and throwing them for Meg and chatting about our holidays in the South of France....strange boy!
Bed at 10pm, for DHW's, read and sleep.

Good day yesterday, that's Thursday......quite busy at work, went to Debenhams at lunch for a few bits, had a v random email from MJW, saying he'd call round on Saturday and bring my birthday card and would we be going to Aldo's???..............., EH? flew home at t.time, was SO looking forward to a night of me time last night, 1st night in yonks had the whole evening to myself (no txts, lengthy phone calls, visitors or being dragged out), sped home gleefully, made a lasagne, by 8pm i was bored fooking rigid!!!
Watched 3 hrs of crappy t.v. drinking squash and smoking fags...............yippee!??

Mega stressed today, didn't want to get up, rainy, glum day, have spent the first 2 hrs of the morning onto Interflora for mazeltov flowers and Thomas cooks for Euros at the Foreign exchange, felt so bad when nice young call centre girl told me a certain bouquet was out of stock, when i retorted "just give them any, i don't give a shit"..............oops! deep breaths!

Have just had some pate on toast and calmed down a bit, roll on 5'o clock............
Off to Flicks tonight to see Inside Man, not out after, as Andy is playing in Skipton tomorrow and will be off early, maybe i should find out if any of the girls are in town and go get leathered with them after? Just done that, they're not out, mind you they'd probably just sit on a different table anyway!
Tomorrow evening, we've arranged to go to Aldo's, moi, MJW, Katy and Sarah. This is to save telling Matthew it's not my birthday for another month! will meet Andy after when he's already guzzled a dozen pints and has turned into a gurning gobshite!

Sunday is Mothers day, so very tame adult weekend planned, have you noticed i have a whole weekend planned that doesn't involve alchohol, i'm sure i can slip some in somewhere! not much can go wrong really, fingers crossed!
Just need to calm down, chill out, stop screaming at work Colleagues "will you lot fucking shut up, i can't hear myself think".
Although nearly blew a fuse, just been out for a whole hour in the rain, running round for David, got back to find he'd eaten my lunch as i'd been too long fetching his.

Fucking men!

Happy Bunny

It's sunshining..........hurrah!

Not done very much this week at all, but am in a decidedly happy mood today, 2 good nights sleep in a row has paid off.
Usual Monday.......... booked South of France and paid for Jet2 flights on company credit card (as you do), did no work, was slightly hung-over, however managed to call at Marlo's on the way home to see what she wanted to do for Mother's day, was late in home, so behind schedule with the whole bathing, tea , tidying, cats, rigmarole.........accused Matt of being a stalker as he'd tried to get hold of me 3 times, lol,chatted to him for a while after my chilli and rice, then sorted out some photos to put in new Frame Beth got me for Chrimbo.
Washed up, read and watched Green Wing re-runs in bed which was surprisingly good.

Tues.......very productive day, stacks of energy, got in at t.time, vacced house from top to bottom, put up new picture frame, emptied bins, peeled one ton of vegetables (slight exaggeration) watched 3 hrs of hospital dramas on the box with a short interlude to speak to Sam on the dog and bone, out for the count as the clock struck 12!

Wednesday......... that'd be today! in v.high spirits, busy bee a.m, errands to Cross Gates, Scarcroft, bank, lunch runs, called to get £40 worth of Iams Cat fodder from Tesco and 2 shrubs from B&Q for Marlo's Mother's day pressie, Ap called, he'd bumped into Jim in spoons last night, while having a few pre-match pints, before the city match with Deano. Dad was hollering "see you Sunday lad" Andy had forgotten about tea at the folks due to his drunken stupor Sunday night!! Struth!

Well no work this Aft, as David is off golfing, so talking it easy, am intending to keep it up for the rest of the week, as was fooked last week after being out and being entertained just about every night, it's not for me.............. so no plans, seeing boyo tonight,maybe flicks Friday..........steady away! although Gabe's home and that Sarah is still loitering around Kirklees somewhere! Probably has her arm up a cow's backside as we speak!!

Lord Above!!??!

I'm too busy to blog but feel guilty

It wasn't that eventful other than Friday which was very much as Karen said it was.

Saturday, saw brother's dog - its lovely, had nice fish and chips, mended guttering, had a nap, went to club and got drunk with bro and JP.

Sunday spent day with family and new dog had a nice time, got home at 6.15. Had early night.

Friend overload

Friday as i said, i was shabby after my Thursday night wine binge, so had an hours disco kip at t.time, made it to Spoons for 8pm, to be greeted by Ruth and Spug who had been out since 11.30am drinking, as you do! Ruth had been celebrating and rightly so, Spug was there for moral support wearing a 2 foot high Guinness hat, Matt and Andy turned up, we all supped off then got plonked in the snug in the Commercial for the evening, much more pleasant.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened,(Matt was bulldozing Andy "when are you moving out? ooh you two will have lovely babies" Cringe!!! )Dean, Rach, Ruth, Mark, Spug and co all went to the regal, AP went home at 11.30pm,(Rugby next day, i am a sportsman, my body is a temple, blah di blah) me and Matt had another couple back in spoons, then he made me go for a curry, which was fooking vile.............note to self do not attempt to eat the slop from joe's unless you can't see, stand up or speak.
Bed 2.30am!

Saturday didn't get up until 1, ooh i must've needed it!, got a wriggle on, did some washing, showered, packed and found my way to Halifax RUFC to collect Mr. Porrait, had a shandy, then Woz bought me a lagertop, set off to Buxton at 5.30ish , Andy drove, i sat in the back wearing a sari.
Made him stop over the tops so i could have a wee in the bracken at the side of the road, classy! Had to or i would have weed my knickers! Arrived at the Sugdens at 7pm, the girls went hypo when i gave them hoisted gifts, anyhow we had a lovely evening as always..........Chris made tapas, had a few beers then ate quite late, Andy struggled through and picked the plainest dishes, poor boy! me, Chris and Rhian were firing the wine down, Andy stopped drinking as he was full and tired (big girls blouse), so i took him to bed at 1am, after i managed to drag him away from the commonwealth games, i snook down stairs for more booze and fags with Chris...yippee!
Crept into bed an hour later, to a, cough hiccup, wide awake and up for it boyfriend, oh go on then!

Sunday, had had a rubbishy nights sleep, could hear Livvy on the phone to Mary Poppins at 7.30am, Andy wanted to get up at half nine, so i let him and rolled over, felt bad and got up soon after only to find him and Chris having a swell time watching the cricket while Rhian slept till lunchtime. Grrrr! i ended up refereeing the girls, squirting perfume at each other, tearing up books and tormenting the kittens, who wants kids??? bloody hell!

As soon as we'd had two coffees and said hello to Rhian, i was out of there, Andy wanted to drive home too, yippee! boys and their cars!!??

Got a call from Sarah enquiring about Sunday Shandies, reluctantly agreed, we all know i don't like drinking, had a 3 hour afternoon kip, all this hard core partying takes it out of you, i'm getting on a bit you know and was struggling to go out 4 days running.
Had some scampi and chips, did more washing, then met the Spug at 7 and Sarah and Ruth in spoons at a similar time.
Now Andy had been out with the boys all afternoon watching t'footie, which was absolutely fine as i'd seen him, Weds, Thurs, Fri, all day Saturday and Sunday morning. So i'm having a nice time with all the girlies, when said boyfriend falls through the door with Blacky in tow, acting like the drunkest man in Britain.....oh lordy!
It took him 1 hr to finish his pint, Blacky did one and Andy was clearly struggling to be alive, i love it when he's that pissed he is so entertaining, at one point, he pulled his buffet right up close, took my hands and murmered "do you wanna go t'pictures next Friday", i nearly choked i laughed that hard.............he looked like he was going to propose.
He toddled off home, telling Sarah to keep a look out for his Mum in saville town!!? and snogging me really passionately and whispering goodbye my darling, what a nobba!

Sarah left soon after, as she is a good girl, had stuck to Shandy all night and wanted to be in bed at a reasonable hour, so to be bright eyed and bushy tailed at her job today.
Beth, Tina, Hayley and James (who'd not sat with us Again) went for food, i taxied home at midnight and left Spug and Ruth drinking the bar dry of Berrick and blue wkd.

Today i feel Rubbish! beer is evil, i hate Mondays and all my work colleagues, most importantly i am NOT going to Amsterdam as we sail on the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, i kid you not, no it is not funny, all of you who were laughing last night, go straight to hell and find your self another mate called Karen to wear Spug's 21st party girls t.shirt size Xtra large!

Ruth passed her driving test!

The Jammy mare....1st time an all!

They'll be celebrating tonight!!

So the last 24hrs...........

Yesterday was as busy as can be, David has told me to stop showing off about finding loads of gear and asked if i was teachers pet!
Was jiggered last night and wanted to stay home.

Andy made me walk to John and Clare's in the rain, i wasn't happy, but he said there was nowhere to park, i didn't really enjoy myself, the meal wasn't my cup of tea , i was bang under pressure with the in-laws and miffed that Gill and Clare got on so well, every time i opened my mouth i ended up sounding like a twit! Andy didn't help by acting mute all night and watching the Darts!!!!

Left at 9.30pm, Andy told me not to worry (and gave me a cuddle) as Clare has know his parents for 9 years, felt better, but still sank a bottle of vino when i got home to relieve the stress!

Feel shabby today, not hung-over, just not firing on full cylinders.

Have spent all morning looking at jet2 flights and mobile homes in the south of France (that'll show David), can't be arsed to do real work, too sleepy!
Still it's Friday, it's pay day, Matty is home, Ruth's passed her test and we're off to Buxton tomorrow.
Mustn't grumble.

I'm back

well i'm guessing if simon did ever find this web site he will be bored of reading it by now because he doesn't know any of you so it is totally irrelevent to him. which allows me to get back down to business.
So, what's changed uuuummmmmmm, big fat nothing that will be then, still boyfriend less, as still really fancy same person, who's commons saying are
1 i hate you
2 you piss me off
3 why should i pay for sex, i can have you
4. can't ever come round and see ya cause i can't really be arsed.(doesnot actually say this, its just fact)
uuummmm! this really is not me and what am i playing at.

still need to lose a belly or two, still a student, but in what is still questionable. however do have a week in clecksville next week, bring it on, really really can't for wait, i can almost taste the beer and curry.

Morning campers

Here i am again droning on about my mundane life.

This week i am going to be fun party girl, or at least do something worth blogging about, instead of couch potato i spend my life alone watching DVD's lady!
Well that's the plan.
Haven't started off very well!

Monday, David was back from his 3 weeks hols and it was his birthday, he was v pleased with his presents and once again i'm golden girl! emailed Emma and guffawed about Saturday night!
Monday evening, had tea, then spoke to Matt on the blower for a couple of hours, magazines, t.v and to bed to read......hardly wild!

Tuesday, had a v.productive work day, sent 158 emails to potential suppliers, shopped at lunch for Megan's present.
Had the music on so loud in the car didn't hear Andy phoning, all in high spirits in the afternoon, had a tussle with David over a box of Vibrators, why he wanted 10 ladies sex aids when he doesn't have a lovelife is beyond me.
Andy phoned again at 4pm, to shrieking from Jews "is it the right arm off spinner? tell him what you've got you dirty bitch"..........fucking infantile!

Collected Ruth and Mark at 6pm, we all went to Dean and Rach's as it was Megan's 1st birthday (not my cat she is 8), she was wading her way through 1/2 of toysrus wrapped in pretty paper. There was a bit of a house full, i went off to let my cats in and have my tea, as i was leaving Hayley and James were arriving, Ruth and Mark were off to spoons so they didn't need a lift home.
The evening was spent, again....tea, bath, p.j's, EE, Holby, to bed to read and for No Angels.

Today is when i start being more active and it just goes on and on.........plans...
This morning i am taking Liz to Hale to fetch some few last bits from Ex's mansion, then back to 3rd time around marital home in Scarcroft.
This evening, seeing that boy of mine.

Tomorrow evening is to be spent at John and Clare's for John's birthday tea with the in-laws.
Note to self do not drink 2 bottles of wine and start gobbing off, weeing in bins and showing my cleavage to big Dave.

Friday, RMS is home for the weekend, so drinks in town with Matty (probably 10 pints of carling top for me and the same but Stella for him and a few dark rum's to loosen his vocal cords, to enable him to be the best singer in the Old house at Home........after Downsyndrome Angela), then Sloppy joe's for 1/2 chicken Bhuna, 1/2 lamb Korma and a few mixed side-dishes.

Saturday, need to find my way to Halifax Rugby ground to pick up AP after to the match, then we're off to the Sugden Mansion for the evening to drink fine wine and eat all Chris's food.

Sunday, a certain girl with more than 1 belly is home from that faraway land, she is to work for an entire week at the vets in Saville Town, how this will improve her nursing career on the childrens ward is absolutely beyond me!!
I'm staying away from her, she makes me drink deisel, then i turn into the devil incarnate and get done off him indoors!

Another Boring Weekend

Well is started off OK, I left work at 4pm on Friday. Janet wanted to go home to drop her car off so we went to Wilmslow and dropped her car off. I had a poo as she got ready and we got the slowest train in the world back to Manchester arriving home at 9 minutes past 7. I wouldn’t have gone home but I’d promised Andrew that I’d wake him at 7pm so I popped in and woke him. He was a misery (well he would be having only gone to sleep at 1.30) but was as nice as pie with Janet.

Anyhew, that done we went to Churchills. We had two in there and it was reasonably uneventful. There was a cute thin guy who seemed to be giving me the eye but he kept moving about and then we weren’t sure if he was giving me the eye or Janet! Then we saw Wes but all he did was say hello as he was with some other people.

So then we walked to the City Road Inn for the karaoke. Janet sang Brass in Pocket, I Want that Man and Ring of Fire. I sang The Lion Sleeps Tonight, Two out of Three ain’t Bad, Sherry and The Wonder of You. We had a nice time, except for when I was a fool and said that Janet owed me for the cheese and onion slices I’d bought her. She thought they were a gift and I didn’t and then she reminded me of the pork pies and salami and crisps she bought me so I felt like a cunt. I think its that I feel that I should be able to decide when things are gifts or not rather than it be assumed. Anyway that blew over and we were all OK. Janet’s friends James, Dave and Richard arrived sometime after 11.30 and I sloped back to Churchill’s at midnight. I chatted with a few people I’d been chatting with the night before and then approached the cute skinny guy who I’d seen before.

It was obvious that he’d been there drinking all night as he was wankered. Anyway he was called Dave and was 29 and was a car spray painter and he agreed to come to Cruz. He seemed a nice guy but as soon as we got into Cruz I realised he was a complete nutjob. He said his family were Scottish millionaires and that he was a double 0, licence to kill and was on a mission now. He said he was an inventor but someone kept stealing his copyright (I told him that it was a patent for an invention not copyright but he didn’t care) and just kept on with the bullshit so I fucked him off and went onto the dancefloor. He followed me for my poppers and just stood at the end of the dancefloor as I danced. There was a cute Indian guy, a 26 year old teacher and a straight looking guy all of whom tickled my fancy and who I thought I may have a chance with. The straight looking guy came up to me and I thought “Right Do, I’m in here” and he came up and pushed me away by putting his hand to my face and pushing. I was soooo close to getting a bouncer and having him chucked out but I didn’t I just kept dancing. Dave kept bumming me for my poppers and he was doing my head in. Anyway, a bit later on this straight looking guy came up again and I was defensive and standoffish with him but he put his arms round me and kissed me on the cheek and started mumbing some rubbish into my ear. Anyway I was loving it and he carried on for about 5 minutes and then popped off. I carried on dancing but I was so fed up of freaky Dave that I went at 2am.

Went to kebab shop and got a garlic bread and chips and bumped into Tinkerbell, a 20 stone, 6foot lesbo who goes to Churchills. She was out with her mates and we chatted and then right next to us the straight looking guy was getting into a fight with someone calling him a poof and alsorts of nonsense. Anyway we split them up and I ended up walking to the main road with my man and again his hands were all over me and in the quiet of the street I could hear his drunken mumblings. He thought I was someone famous. I got the impression that he thought I was a DJ or a club owner that had had success in the past but was biding my time till my next big thing. It was all very strange anyway he fucked off and I went home and had my garlic bread which was lovely and watched a bit of Supernanny before going to bed at 3am.

Saturday was a non-day. Andrew woke me at 6am to say he’d been gambling and had won and had paid in £650 on my credit card which was nice. I was too tired to get up though so he called me Mr Grumpy. Wai Yan had lent me 24 and over 2 weeks I’d only watched 3 episodes so on Saturday I watched 10 episodes. It was all I did really. Did a bit of shopping for some tea for A and I and then while he played Final Fantasy, I went to bed to watch another 4 episodes of 24. A got a call at 11.00 asking if he wanted to go out so he did, getting home at 08.10. Who gives a fuck where he’d been. He said Salford where his mate Andy lives. Not that I cared.

Up at 12.30, Andrew went out to work for 1.30 and I watched more 24, the last 7 episodes while ironing every single item of clothing I possessed – or so it seemed. There were over 15 shirts, 7 pairs of trousers, 2 rugby tops, 4 hankies, 4 T Shirts, it took forever but its done now. Went out at 7pm to Churchills and it was quite quiet. Anyway it busied up later. Nicole, the tranny came and sat down with me. The Turkish man who fancies me was there, there was a really fit scally who turned down my offer of a drink. It was a good night. I sand The Lion Sleeps Tonight, a song from Les Mis, Ring of Fire and Holding out for a Hero. I was quite pissed and I left at 12.00 and bumped into A. He was going out till 12 after work so it was no coincidence. We fell out on the way home as he wanted to go to bed and for me not to go to bed for an hour as I snore and he needed some sleep and I told him to fuck off and so he did. I went home and went straight to bed and he sloped in a few minutes later having made his point (he thought) and slept on the sofa till he was too cold. But then his arms were all over me so I don’t know if that was for warmth or to make it up with me but either way he’s a freak.

Lard arse!

God I've tossed this weekend off! I feel like a right sloth and am going to be active girl next weekend!

It all started on Thursday when i spent £110 on 2 Radley handbags, I'd only called in the White rose to get Hayley a birthday voucher, ended up with some new jewellery and another shrug.......I'm a shopping addict!

Went out with work on Thursday night, had a lovely meal at the Nawaab, it was a bit steep at £25 a head but that was including all our Cobras, I'd foolishly got a lift into Leeds from Steven, so i could have a drink (but once i start i can't stop), the Jews went home at a reasonable hour to their wives, Paul and i ended up in the Griffin in Gildersome, absolutely steaming drunk.

Steven had been bezzing around in my new car all night, made him drop Paul home, he was shrieking like a girl in his cul-de-sac peering through his living room window "fucking dogs on me sofa and the bitch is still up, she's on internet", all highly amusing at gone midnight when you're sozzled.

Friday morning i fooking knew about it, midweek drinking is neither big or clever, struggled through the day with all the gusto of a corpse, spent most of it looking for David a birthday present (got him a Suduko game and a pair of boss cufflinks in the end) and sat in the DVLA, had a parking ticket when i came out, fooking brilliant.
Sulked all afternoon, sent AP a txt to try and get sympathy, got a "serve you right" txt back and actually had a tear in my eye, i was so tired and miserable when i opened it.
Twat!
Leigh sent me home at 4.30pm as he couldn't bare to look at me anymore, i was in bed at 5pm, slept till 7.30pm. Spent the evening watching DVD's and not going into town with everyone else for Hayley's birthday.

Saturday spent the day, erm.........watching dvd's (note to self, laying on sofa smoking is NOT a hobby).
Picked KF up in a cab at 6pm, we waited for Grant to get back from Baildon then 5 of us got a taxi over to Headingly to meet up with the other 22 party goers all out celebrating John's birthday, if i was to be perfectly honest the only bonus of trailing all that way to shlek from pub to pub mingling amongst students was, i got to see EMMA......hurrah!

We arrived at the Arc bar at about 8ish, little AP was well on his way after 3 pints in there and the 4 he'd already had at the club, don't know how it came about but him and Grant were readily agreeing that it was every mans fantasy to shag a big black woman, i was a tad cross and played on it all night!
Woz and Caroline went home as Warren was working the next day and they were saving their cash to buy a puppy.
We caught up with the rest of our lot, who were already in the Box, Andy was trollied and mumbling, we should buy a pub or at least think about getting a tenancy, the the next breath as we are going to stay together forever, he "wanted loads of kids, a full rugby team".............best get a fucking move on.

Anyhow, we got to the BOX......everyone was wankered, Found Emma after 100 misscalls and a similar amount of txts, yippee! had a good old natter, the next 3 hrs passed in a blu, highlights.................Deano calling Emma "a big bastard", he was the drunkest man in the world, was carrying spazzy Ange round on his shoulders, taking his shirt off and wearing a ladies fake fur gillet, looking like a bad ass pimp.
Poor John P, had a pint of top shelf bought, downed it in one and faded fast soon after.
It was fooking rammed in there, Emm got a round in, bless her.........she gave her £20 to Mez as he'd already been served, don't think she got any change.
I got the next round £17, dunno who was drinking poncy vodka, orange and cranberries.
But they had the right idea as the lager was flat as a fart, Emma was only having a few as she'd a double driving lesson yesterday, when i say a few she was still having vodka and cokes with pint chasers and was last seen staggering off with her mates downstairs and had just left her coat and her bag with all her worldly belongings in on the pool table.

The night just got messier, AP was acting like a hooligan and was waving his arms around chanting, the buffoon, 1/2 of our crowd had left, Bev,Liam, Carl, Nichola, JP and Clare. Found Emma and gave her her bag back, me,Andy, Grant and Katy shared a cb back, another £25, dropped them 2 at Eastern Spice, me and Andy fell into bed at midnight after our 6 hr drinking session, fell asleep to the murmuring of nice boyfriend, "i didn't mean it Karen, i fancy you more than any nigger!"

Sunday up for the usual, creature of habit!, wasted another day entirely, after i'd thrown Andy out into the snow, snook back under quilt grinning like a cheshire cat, went to Mothers for Sunday dinner, Ruth invited me (wouldn't have gone if i'd have known i was washing up), then yesterday evening, yep you guessed it, i watched DVD's sipping on fine wine and eating Welsh rarebit as i am posh! now i own Radley handbags!

Steady away

Work is funny this week, we're all in high spirits.

Highlights: Leigh is wearing a homemade skirt made from bubble wrap, he cut my hair yesterday with sample scissors and it looks loads better.
The warehouse lads have been over to Hale to bring David's wife and her stuff back for a 2nd reconciliation.
David is back skiing in Austria.
Mark is doing many ponies in David's absence.
Paul is working like a trouper.
I am doing the same.....hahhahaaa, i am the gel that holds the company together.

Home news, um? Monday did diddly squat, read magazines all night after chilli and rice.
Last night, changed bedding and washed, did my roots, showered, carrot/turnip, mash, sprouts and lamb chops for tea..............fit!
Then t.v and read, have finished my book i took to Scotland and am struggling to get back into the 1/2 read one at home! truth is it's wank, but i'm not a quitter.

Other news, all the girls at home are falling out in lumps.
Something like this, he said, she said, i overheard, then he told her, she cried, he was/she was flirting with, and i've just had enough! it's similar to 1/2 dozen Vicky Pollards, but the only thing i can add is everyone was getting on swell until the appearance of two certain Gentlemen.
But who hasn't had a cat fight over a bloke at some point or other?
I do hope Amsterdam goes off without a hitch, we're all adults!
What a fucking palava though!

Moving on.........

My weeks plans are as follows.
This evening i'm going for tinting and waxing at that money grabbing witch, still i'm leaving work an hour early, Andy coming round tonight...........Creature of habit!
Tomorrow we're having a works night out, hahhaaaaa what a laugh! (Ap's coming to meet my work colleagues, poor boy!).
It'll be a good night,all expenses paid feast at the Nawaab in Leeds.......Bring it on.

Dunno Friday, will Hayley's birthday be cancelled?
Saturday Andy's brother's birthday night out around Headingley (i'm sticking close to farquahar), plus i'm hoping to meet up with Emma...........how cool?

At present i'm thinking up excuses to get out of going to Morecombe with Steven on Sunday!! any ideas?

Dull weekend

I suppose I should really blog - even though there's not much for me to report. It was a reasonably uneventful weekend but I'll regale you with its mediocrity.

Andrew was working on Friday so I worked late. It had been one of those didn't get much done due to drinking too much the night before days but as always I got in flow in the afternoon and so worked until 19.30. I'd arranged to meet Andrew after he finished at 21.30 so I went to Churchill's for 3. I sat with Meg, a really nice 42 year old lesbo who I get on well with, and her 2 mates. Had my 3 pints and went to meet lover boy. Then we went for a MaccyD (free Big Macs!) and a pint at the 'Spoons at the end of my road. Played on the slot and quiz machines and went home at about 23.15.

Watched Corrie and fell asleep on the sofa as A played on the PS2 and when he finally died at 02.45 we watched a bit of SuperNanny which featured a 9 year old girl who was the naughtiest child I have ever seen. SuperNanny made a chart where the pictures of the kids dressed as princes and princesses progressed up a ladder towards a castle when they were good and when they got to the castle they got a treat. This girl, Laura, I think, thought it was cissy and tore up her picture. She was sent to the naughty room for 9 minutes and wouldn't apologise and threw over chairs, scratched and hit SuperNanny while SuperNanny let her and said This is just Laura being angry all the while Laura is screaming and shouting All my friends say you're a bitch! We found this brilliant and All my friends say you're a bitch has now passed into the Logue/Stephenson catchphrase hall of fame!

I hardly even remember Saturday. I woke at 11.00 watched TV, fell asleep watched a bit more TV, watched the first episode of 24 series 1 and then Andrew woke up. We went for a drink and shortly afterwards he had to go and meet his friend Nick, so he gave me some cash(!) and I went (came, I'm there now) to Churchill's. I texted Wes and he arrived in due course, he showed me his sexy body and asked what I thought of his pants: I said I liked them but would like them more if they were on my bedroom floor! We had one or two and then went to Thomson's where we bumped into Meg and had a dance. Wes disappeared to meet another friend Back in 2 minutes and then Meg disappeared Going to the powder room. So there I am on my own and so I finish my drink and then finish another one and as neither of them came back and as I was stalled, even though all the staff were wearing just their undies (phwoar), I went home, read and went to bed.

On Sunday, Andrew was pissed off that I wouldn't go to the shop for some Coke so he went to the amusements (as you do) and quickly lost £120. Then he shopped and bought a Playstation poker game and a new razor and some shaving gel and blades and then we went to EasyEverything internet café for him to go online gambling (spot an addiction here perhaps). He took £50 out of his account, then paid in £50 then took out £50 then took out another £50 then paid in £75 then paid in £25 then paid in £50 then paid in £68.55 making him straight (that's a laugh). Then we went drinking. Andrew only wanted one but I convinced him to have a second. Then we fell out and I made him cry so we had a third and from thereonin, the evening was doomed to a messy end! We started on the quiz machine and did quite well and while playing we befriended 2 nice guys, Mark and David. As the evening progressed it became more and more apparent that Mark fancied David and David fancied me. Andrew, partly through drunkenness and, I think, partly to make up for our fall out encouraged me to go for it with David, but the only thing I got out of him was his phone number. He was, unsurprisingly, freaked by my boyfriend wanting me to get off with him.

Not that late to bed but at about 04.00, I was woken with an atom bomb in my guts. The rest of the day can be split into 4 groups: 10 hours shitting, 5 hours playing poker, 2 hours watching soaps, 3 more hours of poker and then bed.

Back to work today, working my cock off making up for yesterday's absense. Came to the pub for some relaxation: its dead and shit. I'd be better off in bed!

Change of plan

Everything i planned to do, fell on it's arse and we ended up doing something different!
Friday was a top day, left at lunchtime, Mike has done a Stirling job of fitting my shower, it is the dogs bollocks.
So the afternoon was spent cleaning up after him, had lunch at 3pm, found Alan who paid him his long en, painted all the copper pipes to match the bathroom, put shower curtain up, did all my ironing, Tina called up for an hour,( looking like abominable snowman), then went to Nicholas for my hair cutting, she's made a right pigs ear of it, silly cow, it took her 7 mins, she's hacked the back off and cut my fringe into a basin cut.............eeh, you get what you pay for!

Andy phoned to say, shall we sack the pictures off and just go to the pub, i readily agreed as boozing is so good, so i called at Tina for a drink on the way into town, collected Spug, we met AP in spoons at 8ish, had 1 in there and 2 in the Comical, then met Hayley, Beth, Jo and Tina in the old house, it was a bit of a carcrash, Steven turned up, we all ended up in the Station...random events....................Jo and Tina scrapping with Jo's ex, the 78 yr old man on cocaine, busting shapes and mouthing all the words to the wrong song, pissed up 12yr old trying to sing "9 to 5" while clutching her Smirnoff ice, thinking it would keep her upright........what the fuck, boz eyed Betty sat at the side of me trying to strike up a conversation, everyone piled up to the regal, but Andy and I'd had enough excitement for one evening so we piled in a cab and went home for some bedroom athletics.


Saturday, my nice boyfriend decided to go home at 8.30am, saying he didn't want to lig in bed all day and waste his day ,oh and by the way he wouldn't be out tonight (by all accounts, if you are injured and don't play Rugby, you can't get into the swing of it and feel like a fish out of water, so he wasn't going down to the club), i was fucking livid, refused to see him out and snapped at him that I'd see him next Wednesday then if he wasn't too busy!
Got up at lunchtime, he'd sent a sorry txt and was bad with his IBS and was too embarrassed to say, i cried and felt like a right cunt.
Got dressed and called at Ruth's for coffee, Steven was there watching Lee Evans, me and Sis went to Morrison's, then we all went to Mum's for 1/2hr.
Told Steven i didn't want to go to Morecombe with him on Sunday as it was snowing..he called me a knob jocky, which i thought was rather endearing!
Home and cooked a chilli, had tea............Andy txt to say he was in the Comical with Deano and Woz as the rugby had been called off.
Called in there for 1 before i met Ruth and co at 7.30pm, then ended up waiting for Katy, all the cricket/rugby lads and girlfriends went to Jacko's for weed and dancing on ice.
By the time Katy had shown and we'd got a drink, Ruth, Mark, Spug, Rach and Dean had caught up with us.
It was a bit of a bab night, 2 nights in Clecksville on the trot gets a little too much, T and Katy went to Jacko's at 11, me and Andy found Ruth in the Turnstiles, they were all drinking green slush and dancing to Patrick Swayze............???
So we left, taxi, family size bag of walkers sensations, 2 glasses of orange pop and lets snuggle up in bed to watch........................ the boxing!!!!............the things you do? for the sake of, well? men i guess.
But oh, he was adamant he was staying up for the big fight at 2.15am, heard him snoring (this is after 9 pints) at 12ish, so turned the t.v off and fell asleep too.

Sleepy Sunday morning, up at 11am, 2 wash loads, phoned Matt for 1hr..........then fetched Katy and Grant at 3pm and the 4 of us went to the Toby carvery in Morley ( 1hr 20mins wait, i don't fucking think so). Went to the Rising Sun (fully booked, not 1 slot that day), called the Commercial (stopped serving at 2.30pm), by this time, my stomach thought my throat had been cut. 4th time lucky, we got a slot at the New Inn in Robertown, carvery for 4 (it was okay food, plus you got loads), had a good laugh, dropped everyone off home, got straight into my p.j's, watched taped EE's, phoned Chris for an hour to arrange to go over the weekend after next and make an appointment at the practice, poor Chris, (one of their friends is riddled with cancer and is a young Mum of 2 under 5 yr olds).
We chatted about their new kittens, then he tried to reassure me that the ferry that sank and it's sister ship were one offs and i needn't worry about Amsterdam.........whatever!

Spent the rest of the evening watching Angela's ashes on DVD and supping vino.
Happy days, so although i've been out 3 times,(didn't really get drunk though) i still feel like the weekend was a bit of a flop as nothing good really happened.
I really must learn to be a bit more realistic about life and act my age and not be waiting for mad stuff to go off, or judging the weekends on how pissed we got............i will, soon!

National Sushi week

Finally Friday has arrived, the week has flown to be honest.

Wednesday, as i said, i picked up AP at 7pm, stifled a giggle as he got in the motor and muttered "new car?", i was waiting for the "someone's doing all right"................
Anyhew we got to Ruth's, Andy plonked down in the leather recliner and fired into the football, don't mind us!!, Mark came back from his Granny's and we all had Steak, Chips, peas, mushrooms and tomatoes followed by chocolate cheesecake and ice-cream..........ace!
We stayed till 10pm, it's late enough for me on a school night.....dropped Andy home and shot under the quilt for the last 3/4's of DHW'S and reading.

Thursday, David was back in the office for a couple of hours in-between holidaying in Canada and Austria, so whirlwind of claiming for late baggage and other such chores, went to white rose again, to get more combats, if they're comfy, get 2 pairs mine and Sam's motto!
Poor Paul was falling asleep at his desk yesterday as he'd been up since 3.30am, to fetch David from Heathrow...........who got the short straw?
Yesterday evening, emptied all bathroom cupboards for plumber to remove redundant boiler, sided away all washing, bath, faketanned, sorted cats......wrapped Tracy's present (Middle brother's birds birthday on Sunday), then fetched howge Chinese from Sweet BBQ, drove to mothers and Steven and i ate like kings, special mixed starter, special in ok sauce, soft noodles, egg fried rice and prawn crackers, that'll be another 6lb's I've put on this week. We chatted till 10pm, late enough for me on a school night! and laughed about allsorts of drek. (ooh yeah Katy phoned, absolutely beside herself about what had happened last Saturday, told her not worry as noone knew but me and Andy AND everyone who reads this, oh fuck! me and my big gob).
Home, watched the news and poor little rich girls, then read one chapter, slept a solid 8hrs and fresh as a daisy this morning.

Today, have left a key for the plumber to come fit my shower. (FINALLY), eeh these tradesman are like gold dust! but am needing to take 1/2 days annual leave as i know at this very moment in time, cats will be running riot round the neighbourhood for approximately 20mins, then will be mewing to come in.
So i'll be home for 1pm, have a pile of ironing to do, will need to find Alan to pay Mike the £100 labour charge.
6.30pm, I'm going for my haircutting (not at Kay's as she is no longer my friend, my new years resolution was not to contact her 1st, it's March now and she's not even txt, not bothered as my friendship list is full and after all it's the quality not the quantity).

Hopefully Nichola's won't fuck my hair up, then at 7.45pm i am to be collecting by nice boyfriend and we are going to see Final destination 3 at the flicks, dumping his car afterwards then having a few beers in town (but not a take-away as I'm looking more and more like Dawn French everyday).
I suppose then i will drag him back to my lair and hump his brains out, but we'll see.
Tomorrow with be the usual facade of the rugby club and spoons (AP said he may have a night in as he's injured for the 2nd week in a row and if you haven't played the camaraderie isn't the same) WHAT?
I'm not fooking stopping in!

Sunday i'm going to Morcombe with Steven in the new car..........don't ask

To cut a long story sho

Got off with an Earl last night.

Funny week

Well here I am in Churchill's blogging on my PDA - not done this for a while!

This week has been a funny old week: no new car for me sadly but I have been out a lot, drunk a lot and been propositioned a lot!

On Monday l went out for a couple of pints or maybe three. Andrew was working so I left just after him at 9pm. Churchill's was quiet but I got chatting to a nice girl called Vanessa and we chatted about musicals, Shakespeare, art galleries, Blake and all sorts of other interesting things and then Wes came and sat down next to me.

Have I mentioned Wes? Well he’s
a scene regular and I've seen him around a lot and since Christmas we've been saying hello. He sat next to me last thursday in The pub and we went toa few other bars and finally ended up in Cruz after having flirted all night and him deciding tnat we should go to Blackpool this coming weekend. He's very cute and is the archetypal scally. He's 24 and claims to be a teacher with a girlfriend and 5 month old daughter but how much of that is true, I don't know.

Anyhew on Monday we went to a few bars: Thompson's where we played pool; Hollywood where we saw a male stripper and New York New York where I danced, with actions to You never promised me a rose garden and again ended up in Cruz. He was with Derek, a "straight" friend. We had a good time and when I had to go home at 2.15am he suggested a threesome! I said they'd have to be gone by 6am before Andrew came home but that was too early for Wes so I went home alone.

Tuesday, I went out with Andrew after work and had a few before he had to go to work. I stayed out and sang in Churchill's badly. I sat with the tranny I mentioned a couple of weeks ago: Nicole, bi, married with a kid and living in Yorkshire. He was a nice guy and at 12.45 I had to go home, having been drinking for 6 hours.

On my way home I was accosted by a very handsome young Norwegian called Hans who wanted to come home with me to have sex. He was very nice and had a splendid body but he said he charged (£80-£100 but for me £60 ... whatever!) I was sorely tempted but in the end I thought that the previous night I'd been offered a threesome and really didn't need to pay for it so I sent him on his merry way and slept alone again.

Stayed in last night and read (328 pages in three and a quarter hours!).

Out again tonight, wonder what weird things will happen tonight!!!

Goodbye Megane

My week

I don't like Mondays.....tell me why! I don't like Mondays.

Okay day really, feck all to report.....had some good deals bought last week while i was on holiday, so with David being in Canada all this week, i am allowing myself to rest on my laurels and have a lazy week. Took David's luggage from Austria last week up to the house and chatted to his maid a while, then basically the working day was spent, blogging and emailing.

Monday evening was a whirlwind of t.v, tea, reading magazines more t.v and to bed to read book...........wild or what?

Tuesday wasn't up to much either, couple of trips out to Crossgates with rollerblind samples, bought some combats at lunch, yes i'm so with it! no velvet trousers for me.

Then yesterday evening decided to have a good clean out of wardrobe to enable me to fit new clobber in, filled a binliner with last years fashions and a bag full of excess boots and shoes to take to Ruth's, for her to have a sort through before the charity shop.
More t.v., chilli, could not get warm, what is it with this weather? thought we'd seen the last of the frost??! (That read as though i was chilli, i actually ate chilli for tea).
Bed again after new No Angels, read a while until midnight....ya di ya!

Today new car arrived, super cool, fast as fuck 16V 90hp VTR Coupe.........I'm not bragging i SO deserve it, Andy will be v.excited bet he wants to go somewhere this weekend and have a drive (men are so see through).
Bought a brown floaty skirt at dinner, two casual lounging around tops and some car mats (fooking liberty not having mats in a new car).

Rest of the weeks itinerary:
Tonight AP and I are going to Ruth and Marks for steak and chips.
Haircut on Friday..........
Errr?

Oh god that's it, i have absolutely NO more plans, what's happened to me, i used to be such a popular girl!??!

I suppose i should have a chill out weekend and ger back to normal after Scotland before i start descending on, Matt, Sam, Suggy, Gabe, ooh a weekend in Yarmouth (Sarah told me to wait till June, think she maybe decorating!!?), plus it's only 6 weeks till Amsterdam!
Lawks a mercy!!