Gaylords and Tomcats

These are the only males you can trust, honestly!!!!! MEN!!!!!
Even my brother let me down this weekend and more of the porritt meister later.
Plus Richard with the big nose never called, yes i know i was using him to make Andy jealous, he must have had a sixth sense or something, or maybe he just mentioned it at rugby training?? You wouldn't have to be brain of Britain.

So the weekend part deux.

Left Steven and went home to lay on the bed and finished my book, the sun was streaming through the window, so i had a little nap afterwards, then got ready to hit town and collect brother only to get a txt to say he wasn't going out!!!!!! Grrrr!!
I was all ready and decided to go out (surely they'll be someone in spoons i know), erm not! but it was okay as Matt and Warren turned up after 1/2 hr.
We squeezed into the alcove then when the much sought after round table with tall bar stools became available we pounced.
Caroline and Katy (hiya Karen) arrived, them MJ and Sarah called in for one on their way to Julie's 40th.

Then everyone seemed to want to talk about Andy getting his "red wings" Matt had spilt the beans, Warren said Andy had already told him but this is a lie.
Andy had said that he thought he'd killed me...nice!
Matt said "oh Andy is a nice boy". Warren agreed, i also agreed but said he wasn't nice to me, to which Warren gave me a little pep talk on the intricate cog in AP's mind........going something like this.
"You think Andy treats you bad, but he doesn't, he treats you just like he treats all of us and we've known him forever, that's his way he's moody and you'll just have to put up with it. But Andy recently has even started admitting to the lads that you're his girlfriend".

Sarah had tears in her eyes, then in that instance i'd forgiven him everything.
That bluddy Warren!!!!!!!!!!

Next every other cricketer's girlfriend had arrived, Clare, Debbie, Angela, Nichola and the other one's i don't remember their names.
We were drinking for England and i seemed very sleepy and drunk, the lads turned up and i was tugging at Andys shirt apologizing for kicking off last week. "Don't worry about it Karen".
The rest of our clan arrived, Tina, Beth, Hayley and Spug ( i never did buy her that pint). I wanted to stay and just stare at Andy but Matt was getting cross with me coz he wanted to go to the station to sing, so he bundled me out of the door, saying Andy's coming to the regal, don't fret!!!!!!!

Station, tragic, karaoke slips everywhere.........Spug was snogging a 17 yr old swamp donkey! MESSY!!!
Regal, after my 4 lemonades i'd come round a bit, i thought i'd play hard to get and went nowhere near Andy,Tina was saying he can't take his eyes off you, i played so hard to get he just went without me. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

I left shortly afterwards, this was after i'd chatted to Chris Rhodes, who was fed up of my brothers calling him "sister kisser" and after Spug had pulled Matt Womersley.
I can't believe he went home without me, what all that about??
When he admitted i was his girlfriend to lads like, what did he say?? "do ya know that fat blond that keeps following me about, i actually know her".

Taxi ranks were rammed so i walked home to clear my head, got in and sent him a soppy txt, like a cunt....??? why oh why!!!!

Sunday chores, then walked to Marlo and Jims for Sunday dinner.....it was okay! Mark commented to Mum about the pope, having spent his entire life surrounded by great paintings, ya di ya! i piped up "bet he'd rather have got pissed and had a shag"......erm Taxi!

Met Spug at 6pm for Sunday shandies in the sunshine, happy days!
Had a top night as always, got wellied, were joined by Rach, Dean and Sarah.
Spug and i took the piss out of the people who came in walking really slowly, where did they think they were the Moon? so i got rangooned, now the lesbian barmaid thinks i'm a rug muncher too, as i was telling her cat stories, Sarah got me done, as after 7 pints i seem to want to tell everyone how to make dishes that involve frying your onions until they're transparent.
Other drunken stories included, Chris Innes the lemon thief, Suggys antics, jumping out of taxis without paying and the dishcloth story.

We were all too sleepy for fodder so taxied home, was in bed for 11pm and could have a lovely lie-in this morning as i was taking my car to the garage to be fixed, so what time did i wake up .............5 fucking a.m.....yes 5am!!!!!

Anyhow found the garage okay and have been given a hire car, a Honda type R, which is very fast, all the lads in the office are wanking over it..........so it must be good!