While the cats away...
Oh deary me. I am in the bad books.
Matt was on a training course in London over night, so I called up Melissa to keep me company while laddo was away. I had a couple of bottles of wine and we were going to have bangers and mash and wine for tea and she was staying over.
Thing was, we scoffed our bangers and mash super quick, drank a bottle of wine each in record time, ran out of booze so decided to go out. I have got some ace new tight jeans and some 80’s style pixie boots, so I was dying to get my new clothes on and flex them round town! Hee hee! Jumped into a cab and went first to my mates bar in town. Had a bottle of Stella I’ll twat you and went to the Cellar bar. Spead drunk 2 double vodkas. An ace jazz band were playing who I want to book for my wedding (one day) but failed to get any details about them as I was too plastered.
Went to North bar where Melissa got a dodgy belguim beer in a ladies glass showing off and I got a pint of something.
I was becoming quite concerened that my Matthew hadn’t called to check up on me as he is usually quite possessive. I got it in my head that he wouldn’t like it that I was out in town as he thinks I’m a cocaine whore and I will get up to no good (he’s got a bit of a point, but I’m not like that anymore!) so I thought I would call him and lie BADLY about where I was! I said I was dropping by at Melissa’s as we were getting booze from the shop (?) he then pointed out it was 11.30pm and i wouldn’t get any booze at that time, so I then said I was waiting outside for Melissa as she was getting booze from in the house. WHY??!! She lives in Bramley on a really quiet street too. Then a police car went past and a couple of piss heads shouting stuff at me. He then called me a fake and a phoney and he wished he’d never layed eyes on me.
I then text him and told him I was in town sh*t faced and I wouldn’t talk to any boys. He didn’t reply.
Went to Mojo’s and had magic measures of vodka and a couple of Jeigermeisters each, chatted up some boys, saw someone I slept with when I first moved to Leeds at 20 called Ryan. He is so horrible as well! But as I was drunk I felt the need to summon him over for chat. Met a couple of FIT army boys from Harrogate who came over to us (we were propping up the bar on high chairs) Melissa got the fit tall one and as usual, the midget one chatted me up. Told him I had a lovely boyfriend who does nothing round the house etc. I then need the loo and got off my high bar chair and he shat his pants! I must have been a whole foot taller than him! Realised I couldn’t walk, cracked my head badly on the wall (I’ve got a mini egg this morning) and staggered off to the bogs. What a twat!
Really cannot remember for the life of me anything else. Nor can Melissa. All I know is that I woke up in my bed this morning with my contacts still in, in just my knickers. Melissa, however, woke up fully clothed with her boots still on and her bag on her shoulder still!! It was the funniest sight ever! Then Matt called me and had a full 2 hour rant about what a cunt I am. I totally agreed. I said ‘I have let myself down and worse of all you down. You mean the world to me and I’m sorry.’ That seemed to do it until Melissa raucaussley howled from the bathroom.
Finally got into work at 10.30am. I stink of booze and I’ve just done a piss that smells of jegermeister. And felt proud!
Off to fakin Laaandon tonight straight from work to see Bro who has just bought a flat and hook up with lovely boyfrind who is still down there. We are off to a bonfire in Clapham tomozza then driving back Sunday. I feel like roadkill and not looking forward to the sweaty journey down. Oh well, I’ve got my fake chanel holdal and a good book to assist me.
Just got a text from boy, he’s in a pizza shop in London and a dude has just said ‘sort me out with a 7 “ pizza yeah?’ Funny.
Matt was on a training course in London over night, so I called up Melissa to keep me company while laddo was away. I had a couple of bottles of wine and we were going to have bangers and mash and wine for tea and she was staying over.
Thing was, we scoffed our bangers and mash super quick, drank a bottle of wine each in record time, ran out of booze so decided to go out. I have got some ace new tight jeans and some 80’s style pixie boots, so I was dying to get my new clothes on and flex them round town! Hee hee! Jumped into a cab and went first to my mates bar in town. Had a bottle of Stella I’ll twat you and went to the Cellar bar. Spead drunk 2 double vodkas. An ace jazz band were playing who I want to book for my wedding (one day) but failed to get any details about them as I was too plastered.
Went to North bar where Melissa got a dodgy belguim beer in a ladies glass showing off and I got a pint of something.
I was becoming quite concerened that my Matthew hadn’t called to check up on me as he is usually quite possessive. I got it in my head that he wouldn’t like it that I was out in town as he thinks I’m a cocaine whore and I will get up to no good (he’s got a bit of a point, but I’m not like that anymore!) so I thought I would call him and lie BADLY about where I was! I said I was dropping by at Melissa’s as we were getting booze from the shop (?) he then pointed out it was 11.30pm and i wouldn’t get any booze at that time, so I then said I was waiting outside for Melissa as she was getting booze from in the house. WHY??!! She lives in Bramley on a really quiet street too. Then a police car went past and a couple of piss heads shouting stuff at me. He then called me a fake and a phoney and he wished he’d never layed eyes on me.
I then text him and told him I was in town sh*t faced and I wouldn’t talk to any boys. He didn’t reply.
Went to Mojo’s and had magic measures of vodka and a couple of Jeigermeisters each, chatted up some boys, saw someone I slept with when I first moved to Leeds at 20 called Ryan. He is so horrible as well! But as I was drunk I felt the need to summon him over for chat. Met a couple of FIT army boys from Harrogate who came over to us (we were propping up the bar on high chairs) Melissa got the fit tall one and as usual, the midget one chatted me up. Told him I had a lovely boyfriend who does nothing round the house etc. I then need the loo and got off my high bar chair and he shat his pants! I must have been a whole foot taller than him! Realised I couldn’t walk, cracked my head badly on the wall (I’ve got a mini egg this morning) and staggered off to the bogs. What a twat!
Really cannot remember for the life of me anything else. Nor can Melissa. All I know is that I woke up in my bed this morning with my contacts still in, in just my knickers. Melissa, however, woke up fully clothed with her boots still on and her bag on her shoulder still!! It was the funniest sight ever! Then Matt called me and had a full 2 hour rant about what a cunt I am. I totally agreed. I said ‘I have let myself down and worse of all you down. You mean the world to me and I’m sorry.’ That seemed to do it until Melissa raucaussley howled from the bathroom.
Finally got into work at 10.30am. I stink of booze and I’ve just done a piss that smells of jegermeister. And felt proud!
Off to fakin Laaandon tonight straight from work to see Bro who has just bought a flat and hook up with lovely boyfrind who is still down there. We are off to a bonfire in Clapham tomozza then driving back Sunday. I feel like roadkill and not looking forward to the sweaty journey down. Oh well, I’ve got my fake chanel holdal and a good book to assist me.
Just got a text from boy, he’s in a pizza shop in London and a dude has just said ‘sort me out with a 7 “ pizza yeah?’ Funny.
posted by Anonymous @ 12:31 PM
1 Comments:
At 2:18 PM,
Matt said…
Ha ha ha!
Sounds like a good night!
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