Them bloody Andrews

Friday was super........
No time for a disco kip, as the change of plan being we were eating at 6.45pm, to enable those people commonly known as parents to get home and tuck their little bundles of joy to bed, while us lunatics could go round town after our tea had settled and get rangooned.

Met the Spug at 6.30pm, the Vontrapp family turned up at 7pm, Pino had saved us a table for 7 people i couldn't quite work out how he knew 3 people from our party had blobbed (that bloody MJ and too early to eat, i'll only drink more and not be able to drink the next day).
Whatever!
Well it was lovely to see Simon and Dawn (1st time in 9 months) plus good to see Tim and Joanne again, eeh, little Sarah and her big brothers, how funny!
The meal was lovely, we shared a tomato garlic bread, i had melon, mango and prawns, 3 pieces of chibatta, then Spug and i shared a main course of Malibu chicken and fries, which was just enough, coz you never manage to eat your full main and i hate waste.

We also necked 2 bottles of vino, forgot to mention that!!! well the bill turned out to be less than £20 each plus a tenner left over for the 1st round in weatherspoons! hooray!
Bizarre being in spoons at 8.45pm, quite squiffy! had 3 pints in there, Gabe refused to get me a shandy as it was a puffs drink!!! so by the time, Beth, Tina and Jo turned up i was well on my way!
Tim, Joanne, Simon and Dawn went home at last orders, Sarah, Spug and I went to meet them 3 in the station, town was as dead as a dodo, Aldo's, Spoons, The Station and the Regal, nothing else happened, Tina was trying to get me to do a handstand (as if, i'm 36!!).

Didn't stay in the regal long, i was full as a butchers pup and had consumed, 1 bottle of white wine and 5 pints of lagertop, besides the fact I'd forfeited my teatime snooze, bed was a calling, Sarah and i shared a cab up and left those 4 looking for cock!
Bed half past the midnight.

Saturday was a v. random day, woke up early doors, had promised to take wee brother, to the tattoo parlour in Wakefield, so he could have "muvver and a big anchor on his forearm".
Collected him at 1pm, had a quick chat with Marlo, got into Wakefield at the wrong side as we'd gone on the M1 and not through Ossett, didn't have a clue where we were so drove around aimlessly for 20 minutes till i got my bearings, at last found where it used to be, well it was there in 1994 when Steven had his last bulldog and white rose.......Oh fuck, closed for business!!

Drove back, Steven sulking, had a fish butty and dropped him off at the Cleckheaton one, so he could book an appointment for this Wednesday to have his skin mutilated.
Set off across the Pennines at 4pm, got to Matt's flat at 5pm, spent a lovely 4 hours chatting, playing scrabble and eating yummy Indian food..........all was well with the world, until that Andrew phoned at 9.15pm, no seriously i didn't mind, i know how much Matt likes him and A. i really didn't want to go down canal Street dressed in my tracksuit.
B. It is a tad different if Matt sleeps in the next room to me and Andy.
C. quite fancied my own bed, i was just going home a little early.

So found myself again driving aimlessly about, this time being lost around Manchester city centre, went through Salford twice until i eventually found the M60 and headed for Leeds, goy home just as Ruth, Mark, Rach, Dean, Spug, Zoe and Alan were leaving the Turnstiles to go up to the Station, turned down Spugs kind invitation to come home while i changed into my dancing shoes, so was in my p.j's at 11pm Saturday night, alone!!
Phoned Sam thinking she might be pacing, nope she was sleeping...........so watched the crappest film in History and drank Sarah's rose wine she'd left last Wednesday, finally went to bed at 3am.


Sunday was woken by the phone ringing at 1.30pm, Matt was on his way back with lover boy and Ruth wanted to chat, realised i had just over 1 hr to get ready for Nicola and Carl's engagement party at the sportsclub.
Decided to not eat and just get my glad rags on, Matt picked me up in a taxi at 3.15pm, got to the club, ordered a shandy and went to sit in the sunshine, Matt wanted to tell me all about his night of passion with Bradford Andrew, we were joined by Katy, Clare and co, so we rudely moved and gossiped away until we were joined by Woz.
R Woz, little brother of Matt, had to lie through my teeth about the events of the previous evening as i was told to keep schtum!

So we chatted about Andy Porritts outfit, WHAT THE FUCK!! think his Mum had said, now then Andrew, what are you going to wear for the party?
I've put you a new outfit on the end of the bed, by George at Asda, i wanted to cry...........i can't even describe it as I'm far too embarrassed.

Anyhew, the party was lovely.........it was rammed. Very popular is Mr Carl. Mason and his soon to be lady wife.
Everyone sauntered indoors as the wind picked up, by the time 10pm had arrived,
the following events had passed, James Marshall tying a helium balloon to one of his bollocks, Carl doing the honorary yard of ale, Debbie crying over Michael Piper, Katy crying because none of the "girls" spoke to her, the outrage as Mick Collins started selling hotdogs and burgers on their special day, John Porritt doing a Stirling job of his off the cuff speech, Dave Porritt is now my new best friend and was grinning at me all night and had even being prising information about me out of Caroline.
Unlike his fucking cunting son, who had spent the last 7 hours ignoring me in the presence of his Mummy and Daddy.............REPROBATE!

So after they'd left i went over and asked him what he was playing at, this didn't go down very well, i ended up wailing on Paul Hemmingway's shoulder, hell if you can't beat em, join em!
Andy was mullered, we were all dancing a bit later on, when i'd finally found my handbag (panic over, flashbacks of breaking and entering weekend of past).
Matt suggested i wait till the lights came on at the end of the party to look for it, i fucking freaked, we are talking lost bag/life, ladies!!??!

Had harsh words at the end with AP, said it's a good job i loved him as noone else with put up with his moods and he's such a cunt!
Think he mumbled something about taxi and sorry Karen, sorry!

Matt then thrust a DVD player in my arms, all a bit wooley, home for 12.30ish..........row forgotten, attempted some horizontal jogging, couldn't quite manage as both blind with the drink,so did some giggling and snogging and went to sleep, thanking the lord that he'd taken his scary party outfit off.

Woke at 7am Monday,asked Andy to get me some water as he went for a wee, instead of getting the beaker from the bathroom, he chose to go downstairs and get a mug of water for me, you know,tackle out to scare the neighbours, Bless! spent the next 45mins forgetting that his bravado gets in the way of his feelings for me as he was well,acting perfect.

Fell asleep in his arms, awoke at 11am, when he'd just helped himself, let him and Meg out again at half 12, went back to sleep half smiling half wanting to rip his fucking head off.

Didn't get up while after 2pm, made a breakfast and did 2 loads of washing, had a lovely day planned as i fitted new DVD player in the bedroom Matt had kindly given me, was going to catch up on chores, watch Switch and have an Eastern spice.
Plan foiled!!
Matt phoned, he was in Spoons, the temptation was too much for me, got a wriggle on and went to meet him Woz and Caroline at 6pm, stayed there until 10.30pm, had a lovely day chatted for England, about all sorts of subjects, Woz and his margarine, work, mates, parents, bum sex, beer and fucking cunting AP, noone drew any conclusions to my dilemma, Warren said he was going to tell Andy if he didn't get his finger out soon, that he'd make a move on me, or even better that he'd "out" me to Gill and Dave and his Mum would talk some sense into him, the only thing that surprised me, was the fact that Warren never suggested i should just give up. AT ALL!!

Caroline dropped me off home, climbed into bed after emptying the washer and putting the towels in the tumble dryer at 11.10pm, slept till 5am and layed looking at the clock until 8.22am today, mulling things over in my mind, mainly a boy called Andrew, but on the upside if he's all I've got to worry about then life ain't half bad!