Karen is really rather good!!

Well first of all I have to say that Karen is possibly the nicest person in the world but let me get onto that later.

After my last blog I got the train home and met up with Doug, my ex-flatmate. We had a bit of a chat at home, then went to the Peveril of the Peak and had a couple of pints. We went to Croma and had a lovely pizza each and a bottle of wine and afterwards we headed Canal Street-wards. Now I knew that you had to take part in the whole gay pride festival but I thought that it was to do with the concerts etc. not just to do with walking down Canal Street, but no! We had to pay £15 to get onto the street. What a rip off. We went to Churchill’s and sat down next to the owner and he told me lots of things about the running of the pub including the fact that Mick, the karaoke man and general manager had gone off to Lanzarote to ”make it” there, leaving Chris behind for a year until he’s finished his studies.

So we hopped skipped and jumped over to Via Fossa for our next drink and to see young Chris. We had a couple in there and chatted to Chris who was looking fine. He was moaning that he was working till 3am and so would have to hand about for a couple of hours until he could get the first bus home. I offered accommodation chez moi and said we’d return to see him at 3am. We then went to Rembrandt’s and had a pint outside leaning on the Canal Wall watching everyone walk past – goodness it was busy! We then went into the New Union. We had to pay £2 to get in but By Jove it was funny.

It was very mixed and there were lots of straight men all over young women. Some poor fat lad was chasing a cute lat but was disappointed when the cute one ended up getting off with a girl. Then some other fat lad started chatting up the fat one but he didn’t want to know – it was all very amusing. The music was incredibly camp – to the point of being cheesy. Including “Around the old camp fire” by Little and Large and “The Court of King Caractacus” by Rolf Harris which were being mimed to by the drag queen hostesses and to our horror all the people in the bar knew the words and the dance actions. The campness continued with Girls Aloud, Cher, Whigfield and many more. I somehow was befriended by a pretty lesbian who told me that I should go to “University Challenge” the following day whoch was going to be the highlight of the weekend. She took some photos of me with my tie on my head like Rambo and before we knew it we had to head back to Via Fossa but when we got there Chris had already gone which was more than a little annoying.

Saturday, got up at 10.00 after only 5½ hours sleep. Felt like death. Work Doug up and we decided that we’d go to BHS for a £2.60 10 item breakfast but by the time we got there they had just stopped selling the breakfasts and we were bing ignored by the rude staff so I complained and stormed off in a huge huff. We ended up having breakfast in Bella Pasta and it was very nice. Wandered round the shops, had a coffee and saw Doug off at 1 4.00. I hot footed it over to Selfridges and M&S for curry for dinner. Karen was coming and I was buying ready meal curry stuff for her. Bought a DVD recorder too and laden with 2 heavy bags, a DVD recorder and the heaviest catalogue Argos have ever released, I went to get the free bus home. But the pride parade which was in full swing had caused most of the roads in central Manchester to be closed and so I had to lug my heavy shopping home. Once I got home I needed a dump and a fag equally so I had the fag on the bog. Very handy as you can use the sink as an ashtray and very relaxing after carrying 2 curries, 2 portions of rice, 6 cartons of starters, 2 can of pop, bread, mushrooms, a box of wine, a DVD player, 12 DVDs and an Argos catalogue a mile home. Anhyew, as soon as I’d got off the bog, Karen rang, she was setting off. I tidied up a bit, plumbed in the DVD player (its bigger than the last one so there’s no space) and inspected the porn that I’d received from Doug in our porn swap – v good if you’re interested.

Karen arrived with PJs, wine and wine gums, we had a nice chat and a drink and then played Scrabble and I got thrashed. Then we had our curry which was like the biggest meal ever. I ate so much and was so full that I was feeling rather unhealthy and as soon as I’d finished the phone rang. To my astonishment, it was Andrew, he’d won some money at the Casino and was celebrating by coming to see me! I sort of mumbled that Karen was here and he said perhaps he could see me some other time and I got off the phone feeling very excited but rather confused about what I should do. Karen (and this is where I refer you to the beginning of this blog) said “well I’ll go. I’ve not had that much wine so I can drive”. I felt bad about it but Karen was insistent saying I’d do the same if it was AP and how I should see him as I liked him so much.

So Karen went home (me feeling very bad but very pleased that she’d gone) and I shaved, changed, tidied up (again) and went out, meeting Andrew just off Canal Street. I gave him Doug’s wristband to save him some money and we went to look for somewhere to drink. The street was so busy you couldn’t even walk down it, you just had to go along with the other thousands of people moving along. It was like the busiest pub ever … on New Years Eve on the day that England have won the world cup – but this was the whole street. We made it into a pub at last, Falcon, a new bar, underground – so lots of people didn’t know about it. We had one in there and got chatting. Andrew told me he couldn’t believe I existed as I had a lovely forehead, eyebrows, face, figure, legs and was a gentleman. I gave him the number of an optician! He also gave me a picture of himself for my wallet which was sweet. He is sweet, and so lovely. It turned out that this internet scam was unrelated to his job so he can hopefully still go to the US.

Anyway we had a drink out on the Street and then at about ten past midnight we headed off home. Andrew got a McDonalds – as they are his favourite thing in the whole world and so we’ll have got home at about 12.30ish. Andrew had his burger and chips and then it seemed I was pudding! We had a very nice time and the last I remember was being gently massaged by him as I drifted off to sleep at about a quarter to three. Dreamt nice dreams about him and woke at 05.58 needing the loo. Went quickly and when I got back Andrew was awake and up for some. This sex was without a doubt some of the best of my whole life. After we’d done we got up and had a fag and then decided that there was no point waiting for the tumble drier to finish (I’d washed his clothes overnight), we may as well go back to bed so we had a snooze from about 07.30. I got up at 9 to fold his clothes and went back to bed and we got up at about ten to ten. We went to McDonald’s for breakfast where we had to wait about 20 minutes to get our food and even the guy on the till said that the kitchen staff were shit. Anyway afterwards we went back and watched Trading Places on my new DVD player. When that had done we went back to the bedroom for one last session – time was moving on and I had to be in Cleck for 3 and it was about 12.30 now. We both had a shower after, got dressed and headed off to the station. Andrew was going to Bradford after changing at Leeds and I was getting off before that at Huddersfield. We chatted on the train abiut when we’d see each other nest – time is a bit pressing so I offered to got Bradford and Andrew suggested we stay in a hotel as he’s not too happy with his flat. We were all over each other and when I got off we were both stood in the aisle and we kissed – goodness knows what everyone thought – I don’t really care.

I got a cab, picked up Karen on the way and went to the club. Nicola and Carl’s wedding is a bit of a haze so this is what I remember:
 Telling Karen all about Andrew
 Feeling drunk after 2½ hours
 Telling everyone about Andrew
 Chatting for ages with Katie Farquhar
 Accepting dozens of drinks of people, mainly Grant-house
 Asking Waitey if I could rejoin the club
 Karen losing her purse
 Loads of people crying
 The same CD again and again
 Dancing to the worst songs imaginable
 Karen being shunned by AP
 AP being nice to Karen
 Talking to Liam twice
 Field-house falling over
 Black-house being pushed over and then lying down on the back seat of the taxi
 Being very very drunk and leaving my bag in the club and my phone at Katie and Chris’s.

I woke up at 09.00 on Monday. Made sausage sandwiches and did nothing for a couple of hours other than watch telly and drink water. Warren rang asking if I wanted to go to lunch with him and Caroline so I said yes! They picked me up at 12.30 In the meantime I got showered and dressed and when I was done went into the living room, and touched the curtain with my shoulder and consequently ended up bringing the curtains right down!

Lunch was nice- lots of their friends were there too and I had a massive haddock in batter. I had to leave quite a lot! Then Warren, Carol and I went to the Wickham where we were all flagging and we had a couple – slowly. Warren wanted to go to Woolies to get a couple of free DVDs so we went there and got them. Caroline and I bought £5 of pick n mix sweets (like we’re little kids!). We then went to Spoons where we stayed for 5 ½ hours! Karen turned up and the four of us had a really nice relaxing evening, talking about all sorts of stuff, ranging from the best way to have gay sex to Karen’s mum’s voluntary work! It was a top night and then at 10.30 Caroline dropped Karen off and then took me to Huddersfield for me to get my train! I got home at 00.01 and went straight to bed. I was as tired as hell after 3 very late nights but nevertheless an ace weekend!!