Glum
Nothing different has happened this weekend, that doesn't happen every weekend, but because i am a moody miserable bitch i have chosen to look at everything on a negative slant!
So we work all week, to go out of a weekend and enjoy ourselves! NO we are at our boss's beck and call, 9-5 Monday to Friday (get the kettle on Kazza, fetch this cheque from Manchester, Shave my back in the carpark...........i kid you not!), so we can earn a measly crust, then go out Friday and Saturday night and be fucking miserable.
Obviously!
Awoke Friday from my disco kip and did lots of tutting and sighing, So wanted to get a nice bottle of wine and a curry and press the sofa all night, but it was not to be, met Spug, Tina, Beth, Hayley, Jo and some other randoms at 8pm, went to spoons and had 2 in there, Andy was in with Deano, Warren and Caroline, never spoke to him as he was right at the other side of the pub and we left quite early, we nipped to the Turnstiles, had 3 in there, i got upset about Andy and the fact that when the rugby season starts he'll be going down Leeds and Batley on a Saturday night and i'll never see him, Tina said i should have it out with him and Spug said something about old peoples homes.
We went to the old house for last, it was okay, nowt really happened, up to the Regal, very blurry, i chatted to Craig Aspinall who has 8 cats (who thinks Andy is going to kill him, for snogging me in the past) Spug snogged Richard with the big nose, Tina was necking shots of vodka at the bar, one of Richard Townsend's mates was chatting me up, i vaugely remember seeing James and James, me Spug and Hayley then left for a curry, which was alright.........slumberland before 2am.
Saturday was v. rough, got up at 11.45am, it took me forever to get my act together, but by 4pm, i was fed and watered and looking fresh as a daisy to attend Mark and Ruth's BBQ.
20 odd people there, i was the last to arrive, it was a nice day, but i wanted to go to the sportsclub to see Andy, Spug agreed to go with me, so we walked down about 7pm, Spug went to chat to Leeny, so i went to sit with Caroline and all the girls, it was alright, we just sat about talking rubbish and getting drunker and drunker.
Andy's Mum and Dad came down, this was to support their eldest son, who was at this moment in time, in the F troupe crown green bowls competition, (don't ask).
Caroline was fuming as Terry had said something derogatory about Warren's weight, Kim was crying as she'd told Chris Jackson he should do more housework and he'd told her to keep her nose out.
Claire was mullered and was leaning on my shoulder, chuntering about the in-laws, i came face to face with Gill in the ladies, i resisted the temptation to splutter "no i never shagged you son, in your bed". But smiled sweetly and washed my hands in record time.
So it's 10.30pm the floodlights are on and Andy has got through to the 1/4 finals and then the semis, everyone was holding there breath as he's renowned for being a sore loser, Deano....quote "i hope to fuck he wins for Karen's sake", anyhow he won, reigned champion over the lesbian in the shellsuit, he came in to rapturous applause, looking like a dog with 2 dicks.
Gone midnight everyone was the worse for wear, Deano had disappeared with Angela for a shag (even though he calls her Spazzy Ange behind her back because of her lisp), Debbie had gone home with Pipes for a jump, i was stood at the bar with Mr. Porritt who was chatting for England ( look at me, I'm such a successful sportsman, form an orderly queue for autographs).
Gone 1am, Caroline, Warren, John, Claire, Katy, Nicola, Carl and Bev, had all ordered taxis to Eastern Spice, Andy didn't want to go, but booked us a taxi and went outside to wait for it, while i was stood inside talking drivel to all the barstaff.
I went out to look for him and was bewildered to find, Woz, Bev and John throwing a big slab of concrete at each other!
Their taxi arrived and we stood and waited a while longer for ours, while doing a bit of courting, then........i can't get my fucking breath, he suggests we have a quickie in the rugby stand, i am suitably outraged, know exactly what he is up to, (Gill and Dave have seen me, if no. 1 son doesn't show up home tonight, they'll know what he's been up to).
So i refuse point blank, he's embarrassed for even suggesting it, then mumbles something about it's better than the boring bedroom??!!
OH, i'm sorry our sex life is SO FUCKING BORING.
So we stand in silence until the cab arrives, then get home and do some making up in the "boring" bedroom, he then gets up approximately 30 seconds after we've finished and starts getting dressed, i'm fuming and secretly seething inside, but i'm not going to tell him, he should be able to guess what's wrong, i go downstairs and let him out, refusing to speak or even look at him (that'll show him).
So he's stood with the door open, saying, "what's the matter, if you won't tell me what's wrong i can't fix it".
Meanwhile Meg and Maisie have both shot through his legs and disappeared off into the night.
He leaves looking all puzzled and i go back to bed.
Got up at 7am Sunday, let the girls in who are both sat on the shed, looking confused.
Slept my hangover off, got up really late, still moody and fed up, did the usual drek, went to tescos for bananas, peaches, cream cheese, bagels and kitchen rolls, called at Mothers and did 3 loads of washing.
Went down to Mark's and chatted to Ruth for 2 hours, then last night i had an Eastern spice, a bottle of wine and watched Love Actually, started to cry approximately 5 seconds into it and more or less blubbered through the entire duration of the film.
Feel a bit better today am going to go to Next at lunchtime and buy new clothes.
Have realised things could be a lot worse, i could be David...........who got so pissed on Friday night,he lost his phone,got thrown out of a taxi for falling asleep, then got picked up by the police for loitering on Allwoodly lane and driven home, where his 22 year old son had to put him to bed.
AND he's a 50 year old multi-millionaire.
So we work all week, to go out of a weekend and enjoy ourselves! NO we are at our boss's beck and call, 9-5 Monday to Friday (get the kettle on Kazza, fetch this cheque from Manchester, Shave my back in the carpark...........i kid you not!), so we can earn a measly crust, then go out Friday and Saturday night and be fucking miserable.
Obviously!
Awoke Friday from my disco kip and did lots of tutting and sighing, So wanted to get a nice bottle of wine and a curry and press the sofa all night, but it was not to be, met Spug, Tina, Beth, Hayley, Jo and some other randoms at 8pm, went to spoons and had 2 in there, Andy was in with Deano, Warren and Caroline, never spoke to him as he was right at the other side of the pub and we left quite early, we nipped to the Turnstiles, had 3 in there, i got upset about Andy and the fact that when the rugby season starts he'll be going down Leeds and Batley on a Saturday night and i'll never see him, Tina said i should have it out with him and Spug said something about old peoples homes.
We went to the old house for last, it was okay, nowt really happened, up to the Regal, very blurry, i chatted to Craig Aspinall who has 8 cats (who thinks Andy is going to kill him, for snogging me in the past) Spug snogged Richard with the big nose, Tina was necking shots of vodka at the bar, one of Richard Townsend's mates was chatting me up, i vaugely remember seeing James and James, me Spug and Hayley then left for a curry, which was alright.........slumberland before 2am.
Saturday was v. rough, got up at 11.45am, it took me forever to get my act together, but by 4pm, i was fed and watered and looking fresh as a daisy to attend Mark and Ruth's BBQ.
20 odd people there, i was the last to arrive, it was a nice day, but i wanted to go to the sportsclub to see Andy, Spug agreed to go with me, so we walked down about 7pm, Spug went to chat to Leeny, so i went to sit with Caroline and all the girls, it was alright, we just sat about talking rubbish and getting drunker and drunker.
Andy's Mum and Dad came down, this was to support their eldest son, who was at this moment in time, in the F troupe crown green bowls competition, (don't ask).
Caroline was fuming as Terry had said something derogatory about Warren's weight, Kim was crying as she'd told Chris Jackson he should do more housework and he'd told her to keep her nose out.
Claire was mullered and was leaning on my shoulder, chuntering about the in-laws, i came face to face with Gill in the ladies, i resisted the temptation to splutter "no i never shagged you son, in your bed". But smiled sweetly and washed my hands in record time.
So it's 10.30pm the floodlights are on and Andy has got through to the 1/4 finals and then the semis, everyone was holding there breath as he's renowned for being a sore loser, Deano....quote "i hope to fuck he wins for Karen's sake", anyhow he won, reigned champion over the lesbian in the shellsuit, he came in to rapturous applause, looking like a dog with 2 dicks.
Gone midnight everyone was the worse for wear, Deano had disappeared with Angela for a shag (even though he calls her Spazzy Ange behind her back because of her lisp), Debbie had gone home with Pipes for a jump, i was stood at the bar with Mr. Porritt who was chatting for England ( look at me, I'm such a successful sportsman, form an orderly queue for autographs).
Gone 1am, Caroline, Warren, John, Claire, Katy, Nicola, Carl and Bev, had all ordered taxis to Eastern Spice, Andy didn't want to go, but booked us a taxi and went outside to wait for it, while i was stood inside talking drivel to all the barstaff.
I went out to look for him and was bewildered to find, Woz, Bev and John throwing a big slab of concrete at each other!
Their taxi arrived and we stood and waited a while longer for ours, while doing a bit of courting, then........i can't get my fucking breath, he suggests we have a quickie in the rugby stand, i am suitably outraged, know exactly what he is up to, (Gill and Dave have seen me, if no. 1 son doesn't show up home tonight, they'll know what he's been up to).
So i refuse point blank, he's embarrassed for even suggesting it, then mumbles something about it's better than the boring bedroom??!!
OH, i'm sorry our sex life is SO FUCKING BORING.
So we stand in silence until the cab arrives, then get home and do some making up in the "boring" bedroom, he then gets up approximately 30 seconds after we've finished and starts getting dressed, i'm fuming and secretly seething inside, but i'm not going to tell him, he should be able to guess what's wrong, i go downstairs and let him out, refusing to speak or even look at him (that'll show him).
So he's stood with the door open, saying, "what's the matter, if you won't tell me what's wrong i can't fix it".
Meanwhile Meg and Maisie have both shot through his legs and disappeared off into the night.
He leaves looking all puzzled and i go back to bed.
Got up at 7am Sunday, let the girls in who are both sat on the shed, looking confused.
Slept my hangover off, got up really late, still moody and fed up, did the usual drek, went to tescos for bananas, peaches, cream cheese, bagels and kitchen rolls, called at Mothers and did 3 loads of washing.
Went down to Mark's and chatted to Ruth for 2 hours, then last night i had an Eastern spice, a bottle of wine and watched Love Actually, started to cry approximately 5 seconds into it and more or less blubbered through the entire duration of the film.
Feel a bit better today am going to go to Next at lunchtime and buy new clothes.
Have realised things could be a lot worse, i could be David...........who got so pissed on Friday night,he lost his phone,got thrown out of a taxi for falling asleep, then got picked up by the police for loitering on Allwoodly lane and driven home, where his 22 year old son had to put him to bed.
AND he's a 50 year old multi-millionaire.
posted by Karen @ 10:58 AM
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