Sex, booze and Sunday lunch...
God I cannot be arsed today!! at all!! Had to get a taxi in as I missed my bus. Made the mistake of setting my alarm after I had removed my contact lenses, so indeed it was set for 9.30am instead of 7.30am. That is the third time that has happened too. What a spaz!
Friday, I managed a 14 hour stretch of pure kip. I shit you not! It was the closest thing to being in a coma I imagine. Matt was watching REM with his Mum (?) in Manchester, so I was able to sleep rather than being pestered for sex (which I don't mind really) Saturday was up at 9am, felt so awake like I had snorted a gramme of whizz. I put a wash load in, ate breakfast of marmite on toast, coffee and fag, accepted my delivery from Next Directory lady (bought new bikini mate out of the catalogue) hung washing out, went for a sun bed.
Matt arrived around lunch time with 24 cans of carlsberg export. I love him! We sat in the garden drinking and smoking. It was my good mate Polly's birthday so we bobbed over there with beers and proceeded to get very shit faced in her back yard. I cannot remember leaving. Apparently I went to stand up to go and kind of fell straight back. If Matt wasn't there to catch me, I beleive I would have smashed my head open on concrete step and be sat in casualty for the rest of the weekend. Decided to leave.
Picked a fight with Matt when we finally got home becasue I had consumed so much wife beater, I indeed wanted to 'beat my wife'. As I don't have one (well, she was out) Matt copped the brunt. I made soup (?) had another beer, burst into tears and went to bed. What a twat!
Woke up at 6am Sunday morning looking like Alice Cooper due to impromptue bawling, and a mouth like ghandies flip flop.
Sorted ourselves out, put a towel load in the wash, went to McDonalds for dirty scran. Had quick whip round house while Matt took a shower, (apologised, sort of, for being a cock, even though it was probably him winding me up) Met Sarah and her boyfriend for Sunday lunch.
I had roast beef and a cranberry H20! Matt had beef and a shandy.
Met Polly and Melissa in the Oak in Headingley later where we did shots of sambuka for dessert and drank a shit load more stella. Went into Harpo's pizza shop for a kebab, but Sarah did the smelliest fart that made everyone gip, so we left. Got back to Sarah's house to carry on drinking more booze and disco dance in her loft. Matt was busting his 'Take That' moves (which he was scarily good at) Sarah was break dancing while her boyfriend was on the decks.
For some reason, I couldn't get pissed. Matt was leathered. Told me he wants to marry me and me have his kids. I told him to have a coffee and get to bed!
Had a great shag, fell asleep at 2am.
Friday, I managed a 14 hour stretch of pure kip. I shit you not! It was the closest thing to being in a coma I imagine. Matt was watching REM with his Mum (?) in Manchester, so I was able to sleep rather than being pestered for sex (which I don't mind really) Saturday was up at 9am, felt so awake like I had snorted a gramme of whizz. I put a wash load in, ate breakfast of marmite on toast, coffee and fag, accepted my delivery from Next Directory lady (bought new bikini mate out of the catalogue) hung washing out, went for a sun bed.
Matt arrived around lunch time with 24 cans of carlsberg export. I love him! We sat in the garden drinking and smoking. It was my good mate Polly's birthday so we bobbed over there with beers and proceeded to get very shit faced in her back yard. I cannot remember leaving. Apparently I went to stand up to go and kind of fell straight back. If Matt wasn't there to catch me, I beleive I would have smashed my head open on concrete step and be sat in casualty for the rest of the weekend. Decided to leave.
Picked a fight with Matt when we finally got home becasue I had consumed so much wife beater, I indeed wanted to 'beat my wife'. As I don't have one (well, she was out) Matt copped the brunt. I made soup (?) had another beer, burst into tears and went to bed. What a twat!
Woke up at 6am Sunday morning looking like Alice Cooper due to impromptue bawling, and a mouth like ghandies flip flop.
Sorted ourselves out, put a towel load in the wash, went to McDonalds for dirty scran. Had quick whip round house while Matt took a shower, (apologised, sort of, for being a cock, even though it was probably him winding me up) Met Sarah and her boyfriend for Sunday lunch.
I had roast beef and a cranberry H20! Matt had beef and a shandy.
Met Polly and Melissa in the Oak in Headingley later where we did shots of sambuka for dessert and drank a shit load more stella. Went into Harpo's pizza shop for a kebab, but Sarah did the smelliest fart that made everyone gip, so we left. Got back to Sarah's house to carry on drinking more booze and disco dance in her loft. Matt was busting his 'Take That' moves (which he was scarily good at) Sarah was break dancing while her boyfriend was on the decks.
For some reason, I couldn't get pissed. Matt was leathered. Told me he wants to marry me and me have his kids. I told him to have a coffee and get to bed!
Had a great shag, fell asleep at 2am.
posted by Anonymous @ 10:47 AM
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