In loving memory of Auntie Margaret
Friday was the same old.
People present.
Matt, Beth, Jo, Spug, Tina, Hayley and moi.
Ruth and Mark were also in spoons but with Marks family and friends, Deano, Bev and Jporrait were at the bar, Andy was at home as he was working Sat. morning poor boy.
Nowt really happened out of the ordinary, we went to the Turnstiles and sat down, it was dead in there so we moved quickly up to the Station, bumping into Deano and JP who's left coz it was full of chavs, Matt bribed them to come back in with us and he'd buy them beer. It worked.
I then made a buffoon of myself by chatting to Deano about his dog Bert (who incidentally was dead and i didn't know).
Then to change the subject started telling John how much i loved his brother, he was just staring at me like i was from out of space.
Matt and i sang Elton Johns "your song", Tina and i sang "first cut is the deepest" and Matt sang the wonder of you on his tod.
Regal was messy, Spug got a round of drinks then there was lots of jigging about, sweating and the like, there was a man with an arrow down his pants who was as camp as Christmas, so i just presumed he'd want to get off with Matt.
I chatted to Craig Aspinall, who has 8 cats but i didn't snog him.
Rasta d.j put a dayglo band round my neck, you know the ones that were worn at acid parties in the 80's.......i looked really special.
Matt, me and Spug went for curry, Craig and big nosed Richard were in there. So was Cloughy from the club, i went to chat to him then food arrived and i asked javved for popodoms really cheekily even though they were on the table.
We went to sit with Cloughy after we'd eaten, he's adamant that Hemmy has been shagging his wife when he was working away, i wouldn't put it past him.
He shared our taxi as he lived up Hightown road, so Matt dropped him off after Spug and i got out by the library, poor Cloughy.......
Saturday.. what do you get when you get 4 thirsty mentalists and a free bar?............read on.
Change of plan, MJ's wife Kirsty was not available so Elsworth stepped it...hoorah!!
We arrived at Alder house hotel at 2.45ish, oh it was such a good day. We hadn't planned it but the 4 of us were wearing different shades of pink, like the munch bunch.
It was a civil ceremony and all over in double quick time, so by 3.15pm we were sipping champagne in the garden area, we were called for a photo, the photographer said ladies in the middle, then told the Matt's to stand with their own women........ha ha little did he know that they're both benders and Sarah and i were the hired help.
I was starting to feel a bit light headed drinking on an empty stomach, so we had a bag of crisps to keep us going, we were called into the banqueting suite and looked at the table plan, table 5 we were sat with a couple from Halifax, Iain and Alex (poor Iain and Alex), the meal was nice, melon and pineapple, tomato and basil soup and a roll, then Turkey main course followed by either sticky toffee pudding or black forest pavlova (or both if your name's Matt), the the speech's what a fucking disaster, Lee said a few words, followed by the worst best man's speech in history, then the brides mother wanted to say a few words, this frail old lady aged 104 stood up and said it's been a lovely day, spoiled by the fact that they were missing one special person, her sister Margaret who'd passed away last November.........WHAT THE FUCK!!
There was a tumble weed moment, the whole of Jane's family were in tears, including bridesmaids, grown men and the bride. The 4 tables at the back, 3 were seating all Lee and Janes friends from Saudi Arabia and us, obviously didn't know who the fuck Auntie Margaret was were kind of chinking glasses, muttering here's to Auntie Margaret, then i said to Matt "oh brilliant ,that did it, well done, every fucker's blubbing, top that if you can" Matt starting laughing, then i did and it all went tits up as we were crying with laughter until our ribs were aching...oh heck!
Moving on............
There were only 40 or so guests invited to the whole affair so no expense spared, £20 cigars were passed round, MJ had 2, coz they were free. I took one home as i didn't want to miss out, meanwhile the wine was flowing and flowing, Matt said he was going back onto lager as he's end up in a right state..........oh i wish i'd listened.
Before we knew it,it was 8pm and Simon P.A was setting up, Bride and groom got up for the 1st dame, Showwaddy waddy's "under the moon of love", the next 5 hours were a blurry mess of running just as fast as we can, Matt's monkey dance, the slapper in the leopard skin dress trying to pull every man in sight, me thinking it's about time i had a bit of black, the evening buffet hardly touched the sides and didn't really help to soak up the amount of alcohol we were consuming.
Sarah thought we'd had enough, white wine, red wine, lager and vodka, so staggered back from the bar with 2 pints of diesel i was so dismayed i managed to drink mine and hers then MJ's pint as they'd all gone onto double Baileys........Poor Iain and Alex, they chosen to sit with us all evening and even took my email address, yeah like we'll really hear from them again.
I lost the ability to speak at some point then came round a bit to have a dance with the best man, oh we were messy...especially me, Lee and Jane went to bed and us 4 clambered into a taxi with no suspension, that MJ suspected might be a death trap.
I slept all the way back and only awoke to give MJ £2 towards the fare as we arrived home at 1.15am, 10 hours drinking! cost? £5, plus £20 M&S vouchers each, bargain.
Was fine yesterday and was up and about early, called at Marlene's, middle brother was there, i didn't stay long as his voice grates on me, Ruth and i went to tescos and purchased a trolley full of random buys, BBQ, Stella, ham, mango, pineapple, grapes, melon, kettle chips....truth be told, loads of stuff you couldn't possibly make a meal with, oh well.
Bumped into Carl Mason, who plays rugby at the club and is mates with Aporrait, he's always nice to me, bless!
Got home and Mark, Ruth and i had lunch in the garden, Mark then put together my outdoor storage box, Ruth fixed my freeview box and i filled up the bird feeders and watered the plants, had a couple of beers then we mosied on down to spoons to meet the clan at 8pm.
Matt, Rach and Dean were already there, MJ turned up at 8.30pm, then Spug at 9ish then Warren and Caroline at 9.30ish. James and James were at the bar, had a quick chat and told him off for not blogging! and he's loads of news as well. So the 10 of us sat and drank and drank till throwing out time, we were loud and annoying, Matt came back from the bar with 9 shots of peach schnapps, the nutter! the bar staff had to throw us out bodily at 11pm. MJ and Mark walked, Me, Ruth and Matt shared a cab and left Spug, Dean and Rach waiting for another.
So there we have it, another weekend bites the dust. I'm alive to tell the tale.........just.
People present.
Matt, Beth, Jo, Spug, Tina, Hayley and moi.
Ruth and Mark were also in spoons but with Marks family and friends, Deano, Bev and Jporrait were at the bar, Andy was at home as he was working Sat. morning poor boy.
Nowt really happened out of the ordinary, we went to the Turnstiles and sat down, it was dead in there so we moved quickly up to the Station, bumping into Deano and JP who's left coz it was full of chavs, Matt bribed them to come back in with us and he'd buy them beer. It worked.
I then made a buffoon of myself by chatting to Deano about his dog Bert (who incidentally was dead and i didn't know).
Then to change the subject started telling John how much i loved his brother, he was just staring at me like i was from out of space.
Matt and i sang Elton Johns "your song", Tina and i sang "first cut is the deepest" and Matt sang the wonder of you on his tod.
Regal was messy, Spug got a round of drinks then there was lots of jigging about, sweating and the like, there was a man with an arrow down his pants who was as camp as Christmas, so i just presumed he'd want to get off with Matt.
I chatted to Craig Aspinall, who has 8 cats but i didn't snog him.
Rasta d.j put a dayglo band round my neck, you know the ones that were worn at acid parties in the 80's.......i looked really special.
Matt, me and Spug went for curry, Craig and big nosed Richard were in there. So was Cloughy from the club, i went to chat to him then food arrived and i asked javved for popodoms really cheekily even though they were on the table.
We went to sit with Cloughy after we'd eaten, he's adamant that Hemmy has been shagging his wife when he was working away, i wouldn't put it past him.
He shared our taxi as he lived up Hightown road, so Matt dropped him off after Spug and i got out by the library, poor Cloughy.......
Saturday.. what do you get when you get 4 thirsty mentalists and a free bar?............read on.
Change of plan, MJ's wife Kirsty was not available so Elsworth stepped it...hoorah!!
We arrived at Alder house hotel at 2.45ish, oh it was such a good day. We hadn't planned it but the 4 of us were wearing different shades of pink, like the munch bunch.
It was a civil ceremony and all over in double quick time, so by 3.15pm we were sipping champagne in the garden area, we were called for a photo, the photographer said ladies in the middle, then told the Matt's to stand with their own women........ha ha little did he know that they're both benders and Sarah and i were the hired help.
I was starting to feel a bit light headed drinking on an empty stomach, so we had a bag of crisps to keep us going, we were called into the banqueting suite and looked at the table plan, table 5 we were sat with a couple from Halifax, Iain and Alex (poor Iain and Alex), the meal was nice, melon and pineapple, tomato and basil soup and a roll, then Turkey main course followed by either sticky toffee pudding or black forest pavlova (or both if your name's Matt), the the speech's what a fucking disaster, Lee said a few words, followed by the worst best man's speech in history, then the brides mother wanted to say a few words, this frail old lady aged 104 stood up and said it's been a lovely day, spoiled by the fact that they were missing one special person, her sister Margaret who'd passed away last November.........WHAT THE FUCK!!
There was a tumble weed moment, the whole of Jane's family were in tears, including bridesmaids, grown men and the bride. The 4 tables at the back, 3 were seating all Lee and Janes friends from Saudi Arabia and us, obviously didn't know who the fuck Auntie Margaret was were kind of chinking glasses, muttering here's to Auntie Margaret, then i said to Matt "oh brilliant ,that did it, well done, every fucker's blubbing, top that if you can" Matt starting laughing, then i did and it all went tits up as we were crying with laughter until our ribs were aching...oh heck!
Moving on............
There were only 40 or so guests invited to the whole affair so no expense spared, £20 cigars were passed round, MJ had 2, coz they were free. I took one home as i didn't want to miss out, meanwhile the wine was flowing and flowing, Matt said he was going back onto lager as he's end up in a right state..........oh i wish i'd listened.
Before we knew it,it was 8pm and Simon P.A was setting up, Bride and groom got up for the 1st dame, Showwaddy waddy's "under the moon of love", the next 5 hours were a blurry mess of running just as fast as we can, Matt's monkey dance, the slapper in the leopard skin dress trying to pull every man in sight, me thinking it's about time i had a bit of black, the evening buffet hardly touched the sides and didn't really help to soak up the amount of alcohol we were consuming.
Sarah thought we'd had enough, white wine, red wine, lager and vodka, so staggered back from the bar with 2 pints of diesel i was so dismayed i managed to drink mine and hers then MJ's pint as they'd all gone onto double Baileys........Poor Iain and Alex, they chosen to sit with us all evening and even took my email address, yeah like we'll really hear from them again.
I lost the ability to speak at some point then came round a bit to have a dance with the best man, oh we were messy...especially me, Lee and Jane went to bed and us 4 clambered into a taxi with no suspension, that MJ suspected might be a death trap.
I slept all the way back and only awoke to give MJ £2 towards the fare as we arrived home at 1.15am, 10 hours drinking! cost? £5, plus £20 M&S vouchers each, bargain.
Was fine yesterday and was up and about early, called at Marlene's, middle brother was there, i didn't stay long as his voice grates on me, Ruth and i went to tescos and purchased a trolley full of random buys, BBQ, Stella, ham, mango, pineapple, grapes, melon, kettle chips....truth be told, loads of stuff you couldn't possibly make a meal with, oh well.
Bumped into Carl Mason, who plays rugby at the club and is mates with Aporrait, he's always nice to me, bless!
Got home and Mark, Ruth and i had lunch in the garden, Mark then put together my outdoor storage box, Ruth fixed my freeview box and i filled up the bird feeders and watered the plants, had a couple of beers then we mosied on down to spoons to meet the clan at 8pm.
Matt, Rach and Dean were already there, MJ turned up at 8.30pm, then Spug at 9ish then Warren and Caroline at 9.30ish. James and James were at the bar, had a quick chat and told him off for not blogging! and he's loads of news as well. So the 10 of us sat and drank and drank till throwing out time, we were loud and annoying, Matt came back from the bar with 9 shots of peach schnapps, the nutter! the bar staff had to throw us out bodily at 11pm. MJ and Mark walked, Me, Ruth and Matt shared a cab and left Spug, Dean and Rach waiting for another.
So there we have it, another weekend bites the dust. I'm alive to tell the tale.........just.
posted by Karen @ 11:54 AM
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