Ha ha
I want to be on holiday for ever........... working is overated!!!!!
Don't know what the fuck happened on Friday night, but we were in a right state!!!!
We stayed in spoons until nearly last orders with all the cricket lads/girlfriends and tagger onners, so by the time we all got to the station, we were wellied........the strong strong beer of the obediah brooke, had worked it's magic and made us shitfaced, Matt and i sang accapello then i fetched him the bin to wee in while i took my jeans down so Tina could shout at me.
Regal is one mass blur, but in sloppies i couldn't talk, MJ couldn't walk and Matt wanged his guts up all over Judy's curtains and carpet, Hayley was okay as she had been drinking blood.
Saturday, rose early and cooked some meals to freeze, Steven came round for a bit, stirred some pans and told me what i was doing wrong, Matt arrived at 3pm, had coffee then layed on my bed while i got ready, which he said took 1 1/2 hours, but it never!!!!!!
We then had the key trauma, Matt had lost his keys to his flat and his mums, we looked at his Mums, on the greenway, at the barbers, turned out they were in his toilet bag, where else would they be?
Matt and i went to Hartshead moor and had 2 pints, he made me sit on a wet bench which i wasn't happy about, so we watched Liam bat, while Matt oggled at Danny Squires in his whites, dropped my car off home then Taxied down to Cleck sports club, had 4 pints in there, sat with Caroline, Katy (hiya Karen), Clare, Kim, Debbie, Angela and Nichola, all the boys arrived from where ever they'd played, East Beirley i think.
Aporrait looked over 34 times, i chatted to Leeny and daddy Spug a while then at 9.30pm we got taxis to spoons, the lads had gone to the Turnstiles, we went to the Station for last, Matt sang some Andy Williams song and Sweet Caroline, i think i sang Annies song.
All and sundry were in the regal, i chatted to Andy all night, about work, my weeks plans, Matt's Mum, the 3 peaks, Deanos piles, congratulaed myself on acting like a proper adult not throwing my self at him, taking note that if i acted like a normal person, he would come to me and get hold of my hand and try to act like an ideal boyfriend.............it's the thrill of the chase see!
So i rose to go to the bar all smug like and promptly went arse over tit in all the spilt drinks and fag ash, jeans were caked in spilt lager and i had wet fag ash all over my white shoes, up my arm and all over my hands.
NICE!!! was fucking fortified, Mr Porrait had not seen me thank fuck, ............note to self, BURN, white stillettos, they are evil as this is twice i have fallen over in them, while sober!
Next some drunk man started fondling Warrens leg, i don't think he was gay, i just don't think he knew what day it was.
Matt swapped places with his brother, just in case, but the bouncers threw the drunk man out, don't really remember what else happened...........apart from Andy saying he didn't blame Liam for getting off with Debbie on Friday night, as he'd shag her!!!!!! told him that was an innapropriate thing to say, so he piped up "i meant if i wasn't with you"..........what a knob head??!!
No one else was up for more drinking, Caroline and Warren had fallen out, so me, Matt and Andy got a taxi to mine, me and Matt had a beer, Matt d.j'd while Andy was trying to pull me down on the sofa to kiss me really passionately (which was obviously not rude in front of Matt), sent Andy to bed and Matt and i sang show songs until going up to 3am.
Andy woke up as soon as i got into bed, so we sniggered at Matt snoring for a bit.........at least it was safe to shag as he was asleep.
So we did, next it was 9.30 and Matt's rabbitting away on his phone, tried to get back to sleep..........then i could hear Warren downstairs they were guessing which key was to lock the door............Struth, well serves me right for not getting up and making house guests breakfast.
Slept till 1pm the went to Marlo's in the afternoon for a couple of hours, picked Matt up at 5pm and over the pennines to MANchester.
Called as Sainsburys for supplies, got to the flat (and not the isis hotel, Matt had suggested we stay in if he hadn't found his keys........i mean what makes this man tick, we can't miss karaoke so we'll stay in a hotel and get a lock smith out on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!, not......oh we'll stay in Cleck and see if i left my keys at the barbers when it reopens Mon a.m.).
We went to a lovely cantonese restaurant for our evening meal, mine was a bit bland, but Matts was very nice and he kindly paid as a traet, what a nice man, if not a bit odd! hee hee!
We got down Anal street sorry i meant canal street about 7.30ish we got piss wet through, as we left the restarant and it was wanging it down, anyhow the evening was good, not many mentalists about , just a murderer who was pouring his glass of cake into a can.
Plus a man who was blind as a bad without his glasses, he's never been to churchills before but wasn't it brilliant?
Matt sang 24 hrs from Tulsa and another one i can't remember and i sang Love shine a light by Katrina and the waves, which really should have won the eurovision song contest.
Last orders were at 12.30....boo hiss! we flagged a cab down, then Matt got out at a shop for some rubbish we didn't need and added another £3 to the fayre.
Got to the flat i had a can of strongbow and Matt had a stella and we talked about really deep meaningful things unil 2.30, i was out like a light!
Monday a.m NO WORK!!!!!!!!!! hoorah!
Fucking cunting car rental people phoned my mobile as they had some incomplted paperwork and they needed to know what my car reg was.
BASTARDS!!!
Couldn't get back to sleep so layed till 11.00am listening to Matt potter about, got up and we had sausage and tomato butties, Matt had grilled enough for the whole block!
I suggested we phone people to brag we were on holiday, he phoned Warren and as he was dialling the number he said it out loud, turns out Warren and Caroline have got my old phoner number that i had for 11 years before i moved to the cottages!!!!!! how fucking random is that??
Got dressed and walked into Manchester past a really big pebble, i bought new jeans and Matt got a tie, underwear and more socks.
Then we went for a cold drink to Harvey Nichols.........." small cokes and Matt had a manhatten, £13.50 thank you very much, you can have a night out in Cleck for that.
We got the number 2 bus home and Matt had a cold sausage i grabbed my stuff and dropped Matt at the cinema (he was going to see star wars, what a loser), home mid afternoon, did 3 loads of washing and chilled out for the rest of the day, phoned Sama nd Kay for a quick natter, then Spuggy phoned for a weekend update from Skegness, where she is having the time of her life, erm not!!!!!!!!
Watched a chick flick and had some wine as i am on holiday and i can.
Yesterday that's Tuesday, shopped for britain............went out with the intention of buying some bedding plants and bark, came home with pale pink stillettos, 2 new books, bird seed and nuts, 2 packs of turkey breasts to spoil cats as i am leaving them with Marlene, loads of other drek i didn't need from the supermarket and Jim's prescription from the quacks as mother is starting with altzeimers and had "driven straight past on her way home from line dancing". God and thjey say we eventually turn into our parents, if i can chose, i'll be Jim.
Watched t.v all night then got the ironing board out at 10.15pm as i am on holiday, therefore there is no fixed bed time, i can go to sleep when i like!!!!!!!! ha ha who's a winner?
Hang on, i don't think ironing late at night is anything, to brag about let alone trying to convince anyone i am a winner, for doing the same.
Erm?? next i had a couple of E's got out of my p.j's and Rudie took me to leeds, where i went clubbing and danced all night off my tits. Yep that's right.
Slept in today, have done nothing other than go to mums, also went to the secret garden in Hartshead to but bark, they didn't have any or maybe they did and i was kept in a "secret" place, so went to B&Q, bought 200 litres of coloured decorative bark, nearly did myself an injury lugging it all into the garden, like Steven who yesterday dropped a pallet on his foot and is off work, coincidently the same week the cricket is on!!
So I am blogging in Stevens bedroom, he is tidying round me as the estate agents are coming to take interior photos of the house tomorrow, i however am setting off to Great Bluddy Yarmouth, early doors to see that Sarah, nursey nursey!! Tame weekend planned, i have taped all footage of the chelsea flower show for us to watch while roudy people are in the boozer on Friday night..........
Erm, not!! watch this space for part two.
Don't know what the fuck happened on Friday night, but we were in a right state!!!!
We stayed in spoons until nearly last orders with all the cricket lads/girlfriends and tagger onners, so by the time we all got to the station, we were wellied........the strong strong beer of the obediah brooke, had worked it's magic and made us shitfaced, Matt and i sang accapello then i fetched him the bin to wee in while i took my jeans down so Tina could shout at me.
Regal is one mass blur, but in sloppies i couldn't talk, MJ couldn't walk and Matt wanged his guts up all over Judy's curtains and carpet, Hayley was okay as she had been drinking blood.
Saturday, rose early and cooked some meals to freeze, Steven came round for a bit, stirred some pans and told me what i was doing wrong, Matt arrived at 3pm, had coffee then layed on my bed while i got ready, which he said took 1 1/2 hours, but it never!!!!!!
We then had the key trauma, Matt had lost his keys to his flat and his mums, we looked at his Mums, on the greenway, at the barbers, turned out they were in his toilet bag, where else would they be?
Matt and i went to Hartshead moor and had 2 pints, he made me sit on a wet bench which i wasn't happy about, so we watched Liam bat, while Matt oggled at Danny Squires in his whites, dropped my car off home then Taxied down to Cleck sports club, had 4 pints in there, sat with Caroline, Katy (hiya Karen), Clare, Kim, Debbie, Angela and Nichola, all the boys arrived from where ever they'd played, East Beirley i think.
Aporrait looked over 34 times, i chatted to Leeny and daddy Spug a while then at 9.30pm we got taxis to spoons, the lads had gone to the Turnstiles, we went to the Station for last, Matt sang some Andy Williams song and Sweet Caroline, i think i sang Annies song.
All and sundry were in the regal, i chatted to Andy all night, about work, my weeks plans, Matt's Mum, the 3 peaks, Deanos piles, congratulaed myself on acting like a proper adult not throwing my self at him, taking note that if i acted like a normal person, he would come to me and get hold of my hand and try to act like an ideal boyfriend.............it's the thrill of the chase see!
So i rose to go to the bar all smug like and promptly went arse over tit in all the spilt drinks and fag ash, jeans were caked in spilt lager and i had wet fag ash all over my white shoes, up my arm and all over my hands.
NICE!!! was fucking fortified, Mr Porrait had not seen me thank fuck, ............note to self, BURN, white stillettos, they are evil as this is twice i have fallen over in them, while sober!
Next some drunk man started fondling Warrens leg, i don't think he was gay, i just don't think he knew what day it was.
Matt swapped places with his brother, just in case, but the bouncers threw the drunk man out, don't really remember what else happened...........apart from Andy saying he didn't blame Liam for getting off with Debbie on Friday night, as he'd shag her!!!!!! told him that was an innapropriate thing to say, so he piped up "i meant if i wasn't with you"..........what a knob head??!!
No one else was up for more drinking, Caroline and Warren had fallen out, so me, Matt and Andy got a taxi to mine, me and Matt had a beer, Matt d.j'd while Andy was trying to pull me down on the sofa to kiss me really passionately (which was obviously not rude in front of Matt), sent Andy to bed and Matt and i sang show songs until going up to 3am.
Andy woke up as soon as i got into bed, so we sniggered at Matt snoring for a bit.........at least it was safe to shag as he was asleep.
So we did, next it was 9.30 and Matt's rabbitting away on his phone, tried to get back to sleep..........then i could hear Warren downstairs they were guessing which key was to lock the door............Struth, well serves me right for not getting up and making house guests breakfast.
Slept till 1pm the went to Marlo's in the afternoon for a couple of hours, picked Matt up at 5pm and over the pennines to MANchester.
Called as Sainsburys for supplies, got to the flat (and not the isis hotel, Matt had suggested we stay in if he hadn't found his keys........i mean what makes this man tick, we can't miss karaoke so we'll stay in a hotel and get a lock smith out on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!, not......oh we'll stay in Cleck and see if i left my keys at the barbers when it reopens Mon a.m.).
We went to a lovely cantonese restaurant for our evening meal, mine was a bit bland, but Matts was very nice and he kindly paid as a traet, what a nice man, if not a bit odd! hee hee!
We got down Anal street sorry i meant canal street about 7.30ish we got piss wet through, as we left the restarant and it was wanging it down, anyhow the evening was good, not many mentalists about , just a murderer who was pouring his glass of cake into a can.
Plus a man who was blind as a bad without his glasses, he's never been to churchills before but wasn't it brilliant?
Matt sang 24 hrs from Tulsa and another one i can't remember and i sang Love shine a light by Katrina and the waves, which really should have won the eurovision song contest.
Last orders were at 12.30....boo hiss! we flagged a cab down, then Matt got out at a shop for some rubbish we didn't need and added another £3 to the fayre.
Got to the flat i had a can of strongbow and Matt had a stella and we talked about really deep meaningful things unil 2.30, i was out like a light!
Monday a.m NO WORK!!!!!!!!!! hoorah!
Fucking cunting car rental people phoned my mobile as they had some incomplted paperwork and they needed to know what my car reg was.
BASTARDS!!!
Couldn't get back to sleep so layed till 11.00am listening to Matt potter about, got up and we had sausage and tomato butties, Matt had grilled enough for the whole block!
I suggested we phone people to brag we were on holiday, he phoned Warren and as he was dialling the number he said it out loud, turns out Warren and Caroline have got my old phoner number that i had for 11 years before i moved to the cottages!!!!!! how fucking random is that??
Got dressed and walked into Manchester past a really big pebble, i bought new jeans and Matt got a tie, underwear and more socks.
Then we went for a cold drink to Harvey Nichols.........." small cokes and Matt had a manhatten, £13.50 thank you very much, you can have a night out in Cleck for that.
We got the number 2 bus home and Matt had a cold sausage i grabbed my stuff and dropped Matt at the cinema (he was going to see star wars, what a loser), home mid afternoon, did 3 loads of washing and chilled out for the rest of the day, phoned Sama nd Kay for a quick natter, then Spuggy phoned for a weekend update from Skegness, where she is having the time of her life, erm not!!!!!!!!
Watched a chick flick and had some wine as i am on holiday and i can.
Yesterday that's Tuesday, shopped for britain............went out with the intention of buying some bedding plants and bark, came home with pale pink stillettos, 2 new books, bird seed and nuts, 2 packs of turkey breasts to spoil cats as i am leaving them with Marlene, loads of other drek i didn't need from the supermarket and Jim's prescription from the quacks as mother is starting with altzeimers and had "driven straight past on her way home from line dancing". God and thjey say we eventually turn into our parents, if i can chose, i'll be Jim.
Watched t.v all night then got the ironing board out at 10.15pm as i am on holiday, therefore there is no fixed bed time, i can go to sleep when i like!!!!!!!! ha ha who's a winner?
Hang on, i don't think ironing late at night is anything, to brag about let alone trying to convince anyone i am a winner, for doing the same.
Erm?? next i had a couple of E's got out of my p.j's and Rudie took me to leeds, where i went clubbing and danced all night off my tits. Yep that's right.
Slept in today, have done nothing other than go to mums, also went to the secret garden in Hartshead to but bark, they didn't have any or maybe they did and i was kept in a "secret" place, so went to B&Q, bought 200 litres of coloured decorative bark, nearly did myself an injury lugging it all into the garden, like Steven who yesterday dropped a pallet on his foot and is off work, coincidently the same week the cricket is on!!
So I am blogging in Stevens bedroom, he is tidying round me as the estate agents are coming to take interior photos of the house tomorrow, i however am setting off to Great Bluddy Yarmouth, early doors to see that Sarah, nursey nursey!! Tame weekend planned, i have taped all footage of the chelsea flower show for us to watch while roudy people are in the boozer on Friday night..........
Erm, not!! watch this space for part two.
posted by Karen @ 6:23 PM
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