Good ole' Brittania!!

Well, kind of realised probably not a good idea going on holiday with your folks at 26, but cos it was paid for (yes! my mum got me a holiday instead of a size 16 nightie/key board stand/ gorilla feet slippers this year for xmas, happy days!) was kind of reluctant though cos we don't particulaily get on.

She has bought a 'holiday home' in Florida. Was really excited cos we had to get up in the middle of the night to get the plane! Mum in track suit, Step Dad (lurch) sporting fanny pack and shit sandles ready to jet off to the U S of freekin' A!!

Not much to tell, no bars, can't smoke anywhere and the vison of my Mum and lurch doing their best Pammy and Hoff impressions at wet and wild will haunt me forever.

So, needless to say, even though wheather was cracking, I was itching to get trashed with the wife as soon as I got home....

Landed at 6am jet lagged to fuck. Got in and woke the wife. We had Sunday dinner (?) then she got out dessert...big bag of coke. We bought wine and got trashed. Made it into town where we bought e's from dodgy randoms and sat in Normans with the families gurning like good'uns!

Drank copeous amounts of vodka, met new mates that gave us free drugs, all before 6pm! Finally went with new mates in tow to Hi-Fi night club. It was rammed! Sunday's are the new Saturdays! Farida blew it with one of the guys that she fancied as she tried to kick him up the arse and landed slap on the floor in all the booze and fag ends. I was dirty dancing with a chav, all wrong.

Left with black guy called Pete for Space nightclub. Finally got home at 4.30am. At desk for first day back at 8.30am! Didn't have any kip for 22 hours. Not big or clever.
Was so fucked when I got dressed for work, I forgot my coat and had the most random phycho outfit on ever.

I love England!!!!