It could only happen to me (not for the squeamish)

So Andy phoned last night.
This is a massive deal, a huge step.
"have i left my sunglasses and stuff there? right i'll pop up if you're not doing owt!"
Aaaahhhhhhhh.
1/2 hr later, clean p.j's on (no toothpaste down the front)i'm casually ironing when he turns up.
It was fine, we had a beer and chatted for England.
Australia, new car, his new job, what i did at the weekend?,families, rugby, work, Matt, Tog 24, ironing,did Spug take her residents to the Witherspoons?, allsorts.
Till i blurted out "shall we have a shag?".
Response.......Yeah, can i just check the football scores 1st?"
Doh!!!!!

So it was lovely, quite possibly one of the nicest ever.
All finished, i was positively glowing...........Until he leapt off the bed and yelled....
"what the fuck...............eurgh!!!!!!!!!!"
Realised i'd just come on...........and it was everywhere, all over his manhood, his hands, i mean everywhere!
I could have fucking died, made worse....by his Screaming "what is it?"

Calmed him down, the poor boy! think i've scarred him for life.
Went down, he was watching the footie like nowt had happened!!!

Until he piped up "suppose, you're going to be moody now for the next few days, now you're on?"