Big Brother Bollocks
Chantelle Houghton: Good luck to her. Given some of the relative no names in the house, she won't do too bad. Worried about Maggot and Preston catching her out as they should be aware of whom their competition in the pop arena is. Also slightly worried in case someone asks her to sing her most famous song, I want you to pop your man muscle into my love chute or whatever it was supposed to be.
Michael Barrymore: What a drama queen. If he'd have spent any longer with the crowd, the series would have been over. Yes it is a come back and you have been away Michael, you have been hiding in New Zealand ever since a man was raped and drowned at one of your parties, don't you remember? Anyway good luck - lets see if you manage it without a nervous breakdown.
Pete Burns: Pete I love you, you are a freak and that's what's so good about you. Your nastly lips bleeding pus isn't much of a look but I can forgive many things for such a camp straight man. Good luck, I want you to do well and have a second career!!
Traci Bingham: Never heard of you, you're never 10/10 on the looks front and I hate you because you're a nobody being paid a fortune to come into the house because you used to be on Baywatch.
Maggot: Is it just me or does anyone else think that its weird that Goldie Lookin' Chain were on BBLB about every week during the summer and now Maggot is on CBB? I hope he does well. I like the ironic nature of GLC and I hope that he rips the piss out of all of them.
Rula Lenska: Don't worry Rula, I may be the only person under 40 who knows who you are but you shouldn't fret. Nor should you worry that you've spent your entire career playing on the old polish aristorcracy thing and being a bit of a posh bint and are now in the Big Brother house: desperation for fame is a reassuringly common thing and you shouldn't worry about being surrounded by common oiks. You were married to Dennis Waterman after all.
Jodie Marsh: What happened to your ski slope nose? It was the only think I knew you for and now you've had another nose job. I suspect you're not quite as clever as you claim Jodie: 3 A levels do not a genius make. We'll have to see and lets face it, if I can warm to Brigitte Nielsen, Peter Andre and Carole Thatcher, there's hope for you but if you want to come across as a nice piece of work you'll have to get involved in scrubbing the bogs and washing up and I can't see it.
Dennis Rodman: You are a freak. Are you trying to look like Satan? If so, good because its working. Oh and Dennis, your fame won't work on most British people. Some do know you well, others are aware of your existence and to others you are a new phenomenon so don;t think that just because you're being paid £150k that you needn't do anything, you'll have to work hard to stay in the house.
Faria Alam: Its not because you slept with two men at work that you're thought of as a slapper, its because you slept with two men from work, then took work to court and then sold your story to the paper and then went onto Big Brother and looked into the camera and said in all honesty "oh no, I'm not seeking fame". Yes you are you , star fucking, slutty, wannabee and I don't like you.
Samuel Preston: Never heard of you but I do know of the Ordinary Boys. You're pretty, look straight, are young and are male so I reckon if you keep your nose clean you'll win. I'd quite like to have really dirty sex with you as well so keep that thought in your mind.
George Galloway: I salute your indefatigability. How you dare come onto this programme is beyond me. Do you have no shame. You are paid over £1100 a week to represent the constituents of Bow and Bethnal Green but will be incommunicado for over three weeks. Can you imagine what that does to the reputation of MPs ... no probably not, if your own reputation is anything to go by. I really don't like you and hope you end up being stabbed by one of Dennis Rodman's satan spikes on his nose and dying horribly of septicæmia.
Michael Barrymore: What a drama queen. If he'd have spent any longer with the crowd, the series would have been over. Yes it is a come back and you have been away Michael, you have been hiding in New Zealand ever since a man was raped and drowned at one of your parties, don't you remember? Anyway good luck - lets see if you manage it without a nervous breakdown.
Pete Burns: Pete I love you, you are a freak and that's what's so good about you. Your nastly lips bleeding pus isn't much of a look but I can forgive many things for such a camp straight man. Good luck, I want you to do well and have a second career!!
Traci Bingham: Never heard of you, you're never 10/10 on the looks front and I hate you because you're a nobody being paid a fortune to come into the house because you used to be on Baywatch.
Maggot: Is it just me or does anyone else think that its weird that Goldie Lookin' Chain were on BBLB about every week during the summer and now Maggot is on CBB? I hope he does well. I like the ironic nature of GLC and I hope that he rips the piss out of all of them.
Rula Lenska: Don't worry Rula, I may be the only person under 40 who knows who you are but you shouldn't fret. Nor should you worry that you've spent your entire career playing on the old polish aristorcracy thing and being a bit of a posh bint and are now in the Big Brother house: desperation for fame is a reassuringly common thing and you shouldn't worry about being surrounded by common oiks. You were married to Dennis Waterman after all.
Jodie Marsh: What happened to your ski slope nose? It was the only think I knew you for and now you've had another nose job. I suspect you're not quite as clever as you claim Jodie: 3 A levels do not a genius make. We'll have to see and lets face it, if I can warm to Brigitte Nielsen, Peter Andre and Carole Thatcher, there's hope for you but if you want to come across as a nice piece of work you'll have to get involved in scrubbing the bogs and washing up and I can't see it.
Dennis Rodman: You are a freak. Are you trying to look like Satan? If so, good because its working. Oh and Dennis, your fame won't work on most British people. Some do know you well, others are aware of your existence and to others you are a new phenomenon so don;t think that just because you're being paid £150k that you needn't do anything, you'll have to work hard to stay in the house.
Faria Alam: Its not because you slept with two men at work that you're thought of as a slapper, its because you slept with two men from work, then took work to court and then sold your story to the paper and then went onto Big Brother and looked into the camera and said in all honesty "oh no, I'm not seeking fame". Yes you are you , star fucking, slutty, wannabee and I don't like you.
Samuel Preston: Never heard of you but I do know of the Ordinary Boys. You're pretty, look straight, are young and are male so I reckon if you keep your nose clean you'll win. I'd quite like to have really dirty sex with you as well so keep that thought in your mind.
George Galloway: I salute your indefatigability. How you dare come onto this programme is beyond me. Do you have no shame. You are paid over £1100 a week to represent the constituents of Bow and Bethnal Green but will be incommunicado for over three weeks. Can you imagine what that does to the reputation of MPs ... no probably not, if your own reputation is anything to go by. I really don't like you and hope you end up being stabbed by one of Dennis Rodman's satan spikes on his nose and dying horribly of septicæmia.
posted by Matt @ 10:26 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home