What I have done today
Set off to work at 8.47am, look in rear view mirror and shriek in horror as I realise I have forgotten to put mascara on, cannot go to work looking like a new born hamster.
Run indoors, frightening cat 1/2 to death, apply make up and set off at high speed towards chainbar.
Arrive at work at 9.09am, feel strangely smug as I am the 1st one to arrive, then realising I am the only person IN work today.
Take 15 messages and write then on post-its for Leigh's return tomorrow.
Tidy office, then when David arrives he will be proud of me and probably double my salary.
Erect 2 more 3 wheeled (dogs bollocks) prams, to display in showroom and secretly wonder to myself if there is any room in my shed to nick another couple.
Empty bins and back-chat boss's son, for not taking binliners to skip for me, calling him yid boy and pansy for not wanting to get his hands mucky.
Send Matt S. 14 emails, re: big brother news, other junk and reasons why he should come to Clecksville this weekend.
Have cereal and chopped up banana at 11am for brekkie.
Boss arrived back from funeral (don't know who carked it) make him black coffee and pass on messages.
Go to morrisons for David 3 tubs of cottage cheese and myself a chicken leg.
Call at plumbers merchants on the way back to get Marlene a part for a mixer tap. (didn't have one).
Resort to plan B., steal brand new mixer tap from warehouse for Jim to take to pieces to retrieve spare part to fix Marlenes tap then she can wash up in peace.
Reply to Steven's email and email Spug to say I'm going out tomorrow incase she's not read the blog.
Get visitors diet cokes from fridge and nod in agreement when they say what a mad house we work in.
Drag large oscillating fan from warehouse and position it right by my desk and hide remote control from boss.
Book David a return ferry crossing for him and his bike from Plymouth to Santander.
Eat chicken salad and fruit, smoke fag out of window while swigging diet coke.
Email utter nonsense to Matt about Clecksville activities and what I intend to get up to this weekend.
Look on BB website for up to date news.
Ignore Mick warehouse boy when he comes in with no shirt on and starts talking bollocks, keep looking at monitor and keyboard until he disappears, mutter "wanker" when he is out of ear shot.
Drive down the bus lane to do the company banking, ignoring all limited access signs.(what are they going to do send me to jail?).
Wonder WHY THE FUCK, i never have any time to do real work.
Run indoors, frightening cat 1/2 to death, apply make up and set off at high speed towards chainbar.
Arrive at work at 9.09am, feel strangely smug as I am the 1st one to arrive, then realising I am the only person IN work today.
Take 15 messages and write then on post-its for Leigh's return tomorrow.
Tidy office, then when David arrives he will be proud of me and probably double my salary.
Erect 2 more 3 wheeled (dogs bollocks) prams, to display in showroom and secretly wonder to myself if there is any room in my shed to nick another couple.
Empty bins and back-chat boss's son, for not taking binliners to skip for me, calling him yid boy and pansy for not wanting to get his hands mucky.
Send Matt S. 14 emails, re: big brother news, other junk and reasons why he should come to Clecksville this weekend.
Have cereal and chopped up banana at 11am for brekkie.
Boss arrived back from funeral (don't know who carked it) make him black coffee and pass on messages.
Go to morrisons for David 3 tubs of cottage cheese and myself a chicken leg.
Call at plumbers merchants on the way back to get Marlene a part for a mixer tap. (didn't have one).
Resort to plan B., steal brand new mixer tap from warehouse for Jim to take to pieces to retrieve spare part to fix Marlenes tap then she can wash up in peace.
Reply to Steven's email and email Spug to say I'm going out tomorrow incase she's not read the blog.
Get visitors diet cokes from fridge and nod in agreement when they say what a mad house we work in.
Drag large oscillating fan from warehouse and position it right by my desk and hide remote control from boss.
Book David a return ferry crossing for him and his bike from Plymouth to Santander.
Eat chicken salad and fruit, smoke fag out of window while swigging diet coke.
Email utter nonsense to Matt about Clecksville activities and what I intend to get up to this weekend.
Look on BB website for up to date news.
Ignore Mick warehouse boy when he comes in with no shirt on and starts talking bollocks, keep looking at monitor and keyboard until he disappears, mutter "wanker" when he is out of ear shot.
Drive down the bus lane to do the company banking, ignoring all limited access signs.(what are they going to do send me to jail?).
Wonder WHY THE FUCK, i never have any time to do real work.

1 Comments:
At 11:05 AM,
Anonymous said…
You missed something here...
'Rang Sam as I was alone in the office, so we could have that private conversation...'
:o(
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