DUBLIN
Outstanding
All the Girlies collated outside the brand spanking new health centre at 8.30am sharp Friday morning.
Sarah was wearing a special baby pink fleece with fur round it that she's found at the back of her cupboard.
We were all quite excited and buzzed up, being an organised feck (i live my life with military precision) i'd taken enough pop, crisps and boiled sweets for the whole coach.
Sarah however, needed to nip to the shop in the bus station for ribena and 2 stray sausage!!
Coach arrived to our delight, we got on excitedly, much jabbering away, to tuts from all the OAP's already eating egg mayonnaise sandwiches (me thinks they thought, who the fuck said the under 40's could come on our tour).
Bill the driver however, could hardly contain his excitement at the 4 young beauties and was cracking onto each and everyone of us!
1 quick stop at Hartshead moor and we were at Hollyhead before we knew it.
Had a coffee, boarded the Stena line ferry, 2 quick pints and a burger and we were there, Bill found the hotel by accident, we checked in our rooms, quick shower, slap and glad rags on, met in reception at 6pm ready to paint the town red.
750 pubs in 2 square miles, i thought i was going to cum in my pants.
Found a bar that looked suitable, Sarah got a round and was chatted up by a bespectacled young man trying to tell her crap Irish jokes, we nipped across the road and booked a table at the pizza place.
Had another pint, then tasted the best pizza we had ever eaten in our lives, honestly it was amazing, had another beer to wash it down, then made our way to temple bar (to chunters from Katy "i can't dial home, i need to phone Granty, my phone has a bar on it, can you dial home?" we were never to hear the end of this.
Stopped for another pint in a random pub, then another in another and so on, before we found the famous John Gogerty's...........hoorah!
Had several in here, Spug and Sarah were Irish jigging with the locals, speed necking vodka, Katy and i were happy as pigs in shit, in the "smoking section" situated on the 3rd floor, where we drunkenly chatted about relationships, therapists and death till we were both blind with the drink.
Soon realised i needed to go back to the hotel, so rounded up my brood for their own "safety" bundled them into a cab, where i was backchatting the driver, who played opera music really load, ruffling my hair while driving like a loon.
Bar was shut, i'm bellowing "can we just have 4 quick pints?" got my way, stumbled up to room, to miss calls on mobile from AP, rang him back and started shouting/giggling into his answering machine at silly o'clock in the morning............poor guy only wanted to check i'd got there safely!
Saturday, was up at 7.30am and the 4 of us demolished the full Irish breakfast, then boarded the bus for our "tour".
Was ace, learnt loads about Molly Malone, other famous buildings and statues and all the history behind the "Georgian" houses.
Went to Phoenix park, which is the largest enclosed park in the world..........did lots of oohing and aahing at the stately homes and monuments.
Dropped off in town, had a coffee and coke in a nice cafe, then went to the Guinness visitors centre as Katy wanted to get Grant a top, queued for ever with the yanks and the chinks, but was well worth it, tour was cool, only a tenner and a free pint of Guinness at the end.
So i'm stood at the top of the centre in the gravity bar, with my great mates, listening to cold play, with my pint of black stuff looking out on to the whole of Dublin's skyline, i can honestly say i'd have rather been nowhere else in the world than there at that moment in time.
Spent an hour in the gift shop, bought Andy (now my proper boyfriend) a rugby shirt, he can pay me back in sexual favours.
Jumped in a cab, got the friendliest driver in the world, who told us where to have our evening meal and where to drink that night! yippee, so he dropped us at the Barge, where we had the biggest feast possible for 9 euros.
Then sat outside with our pints and chatted to some young local who's friend was that mullered he was asleep where he sat.
Back to the hotel for a disco kip, i had 10 mins, Sarah was our for the count for 1 1/2hrs.
Got a wriggle on and nipped to the Brazen head (the oldest pub in Ireland) for 1, 9 pints later at 1am, we'd sat, laughed more than i had ever laughed in my life, drank, made random friends (Marylyn, with the black lips from her red wine and her frilly blouses, that she didn't like but bought coz they were cheap from pennies and her "young" whipper snapper boyfriend and her mate Dave). So like i said, 6 hrs had passed, the badger had attacked Spugs foot, she was wearing a bouncers jacket from a random who'd spotted she was cold and we're still sat there under the patio heater in the beer garden, where we could chain smoke till our hearts content.
Fell in to a taxi had a further pint and some crisps in the hotel and stumbled up to bed.
Sunday awoke at 6.30am to the sound of Sarah barfing, made it to breakfast for 10am, checked out for 11am and mosied into town to kill the last 3 hrs, bought gifts for our loved ones, then stared in horror in Dunnes as Sarah was modelling a full length woollen dress over her clothes, while laughing like the insane!
Home James, boat sailed at 4pm, got there early, Katy then pipes up "i've checked the weather forecast and all the Irish liners have been cancelled." What the fuck!!
On board and 5 mins out to sea, i soon realised why, bing bong bing................"will all passengers please be seated for your own safety".........well that was it, the bottom lip was out, tears welled up in my eyes, sea sick i could do, but to be on a boat ,that is rocking side to side with such force, you can't stand up without crashing into someone 3 tables away, to say i was petrified within an inch of my life, is an understatement.
4 pints later, i'd found a central point at the front of the boat and had wrapped my arms and legs around a large white pole, eyes fixed on the horizon, i was singing about " a few of my favorite things".
Bing bong bing "ladies and gentlemen we are having to change course to avoid the bad weather, the boat may rock slightly worse than normal" go fuck yourself captain, or get a helicoptor to come and winch me to shore. You get the picture!!
2 hours later, laden down with fags and perfume,( impulse buys to get over my trauma) and we'd docked!
Thank the lord!
Realised i was pissed, as i'm making jokes about the crossing to captain Birdseye in the seat behind.
The four of us had run out of steam, Wearily making small talk about "the best weekend ever"......had a quick stop at Chester, In Clecksville for 10pm, Taxies home, bath, p.j's fussing my cats and telling them how lucky Mummy is to be alive.
Bedfordshire, layed down, still rocking side to side, got up and had 2 large glasses of wine to knock me out.
Top top top weekend, excluding the fucking, cunting, bastard crossing from Dublin to Hollyhead.............................
Ellen McArthur i am not!
All the Girlies collated outside the brand spanking new health centre at 8.30am sharp Friday morning.
Sarah was wearing a special baby pink fleece with fur round it that she's found at the back of her cupboard.
We were all quite excited and buzzed up, being an organised feck (i live my life with military precision) i'd taken enough pop, crisps and boiled sweets for the whole coach.
Sarah however, needed to nip to the shop in the bus station for ribena and 2 stray sausage!!
Coach arrived to our delight, we got on excitedly, much jabbering away, to tuts from all the OAP's already eating egg mayonnaise sandwiches (me thinks they thought, who the fuck said the under 40's could come on our tour).
Bill the driver however, could hardly contain his excitement at the 4 young beauties and was cracking onto each and everyone of us!
1 quick stop at Hartshead moor and we were at Hollyhead before we knew it.
Had a coffee, boarded the Stena line ferry, 2 quick pints and a burger and we were there, Bill found the hotel by accident, we checked in our rooms, quick shower, slap and glad rags on, met in reception at 6pm ready to paint the town red.
750 pubs in 2 square miles, i thought i was going to cum in my pants.
Found a bar that looked suitable, Sarah got a round and was chatted up by a bespectacled young man trying to tell her crap Irish jokes, we nipped across the road and booked a table at the pizza place.
Had another pint, then tasted the best pizza we had ever eaten in our lives, honestly it was amazing, had another beer to wash it down, then made our way to temple bar (to chunters from Katy "i can't dial home, i need to phone Granty, my phone has a bar on it, can you dial home?" we were never to hear the end of this.
Stopped for another pint in a random pub, then another in another and so on, before we found the famous John Gogerty's...........hoorah!
Had several in here, Spug and Sarah were Irish jigging with the locals, speed necking vodka, Katy and i were happy as pigs in shit, in the "smoking section" situated on the 3rd floor, where we drunkenly chatted about relationships, therapists and death till we were both blind with the drink.
Soon realised i needed to go back to the hotel, so rounded up my brood for their own "safety" bundled them into a cab, where i was backchatting the driver, who played opera music really load, ruffling my hair while driving like a loon.
Bar was shut, i'm bellowing "can we just have 4 quick pints?" got my way, stumbled up to room, to miss calls on mobile from AP, rang him back and started shouting/giggling into his answering machine at silly o'clock in the morning............poor guy only wanted to check i'd got there safely!
Saturday, was up at 7.30am and the 4 of us demolished the full Irish breakfast, then boarded the bus for our "tour".
Was ace, learnt loads about Molly Malone, other famous buildings and statues and all the history behind the "Georgian" houses.
Went to Phoenix park, which is the largest enclosed park in the world..........did lots of oohing and aahing at the stately homes and monuments.
Dropped off in town, had a coffee and coke in a nice cafe, then went to the Guinness visitors centre as Katy wanted to get Grant a top, queued for ever with the yanks and the chinks, but was well worth it, tour was cool, only a tenner and a free pint of Guinness at the end.
So i'm stood at the top of the centre in the gravity bar, with my great mates, listening to cold play, with my pint of black stuff looking out on to the whole of Dublin's skyline, i can honestly say i'd have rather been nowhere else in the world than there at that moment in time.
Spent an hour in the gift shop, bought Andy (now my proper boyfriend) a rugby shirt, he can pay me back in sexual favours.
Jumped in a cab, got the friendliest driver in the world, who told us where to have our evening meal and where to drink that night! yippee, so he dropped us at the Barge, where we had the biggest feast possible for 9 euros.
Then sat outside with our pints and chatted to some young local who's friend was that mullered he was asleep where he sat.
Back to the hotel for a disco kip, i had 10 mins, Sarah was our for the count for 1 1/2hrs.
Got a wriggle on and nipped to the Brazen head (the oldest pub in Ireland) for 1, 9 pints later at 1am, we'd sat, laughed more than i had ever laughed in my life, drank, made random friends (Marylyn, with the black lips from her red wine and her frilly blouses, that she didn't like but bought coz they were cheap from pennies and her "young" whipper snapper boyfriend and her mate Dave). So like i said, 6 hrs had passed, the badger had attacked Spugs foot, she was wearing a bouncers jacket from a random who'd spotted she was cold and we're still sat there under the patio heater in the beer garden, where we could chain smoke till our hearts content.
Fell in to a taxi had a further pint and some crisps in the hotel and stumbled up to bed.
Sunday awoke at 6.30am to the sound of Sarah barfing, made it to breakfast for 10am, checked out for 11am and mosied into town to kill the last 3 hrs, bought gifts for our loved ones, then stared in horror in Dunnes as Sarah was modelling a full length woollen dress over her clothes, while laughing like the insane!
Home James, boat sailed at 4pm, got there early, Katy then pipes up "i've checked the weather forecast and all the Irish liners have been cancelled." What the fuck!!
On board and 5 mins out to sea, i soon realised why, bing bong bing................"will all passengers please be seated for your own safety".........well that was it, the bottom lip was out, tears welled up in my eyes, sea sick i could do, but to be on a boat ,that is rocking side to side with such force, you can't stand up without crashing into someone 3 tables away, to say i was petrified within an inch of my life, is an understatement.
4 pints later, i'd found a central point at the front of the boat and had wrapped my arms and legs around a large white pole, eyes fixed on the horizon, i was singing about " a few of my favorite things".
Bing bong bing "ladies and gentlemen we are having to change course to avoid the bad weather, the boat may rock slightly worse than normal" go fuck yourself captain, or get a helicoptor to come and winch me to shore. You get the picture!!
2 hours later, laden down with fags and perfume,( impulse buys to get over my trauma) and we'd docked!
Thank the lord!
Realised i was pissed, as i'm making jokes about the crossing to captain Birdseye in the seat behind.
The four of us had run out of steam, Wearily making small talk about "the best weekend ever"......had a quick stop at Chester, In Clecksville for 10pm, Taxies home, bath, p.j's fussing my cats and telling them how lucky Mummy is to be alive.
Bedfordshire, layed down, still rocking side to side, got up and had 2 large glasses of wine to knock me out.
Top top top weekend, excluding the fucking, cunting, bastard crossing from Dublin to Hollyhead.............................
Ellen McArthur i am not!
posted by Karen @ 10:23 AM
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