H Aye Pee Pee Why
What an ace weekend, busy, funpacked, stuffed, drunk, you know.. a bit of a mixed bag!
Friday i was out of work like a greyhound out of trap 3, flew home, lets cats out, brought washing in, then nipped to Andy's to take him his medicine..........mellow dramatic or what?
He looked like he was on his death bed, unshaven, ripped t.shirt....chatted to JP a short while as he'd nipped in to watch sky sports and read the papers, when he nicked off, i hinted to Andy that he didn't eat a balanced diet and this might be why he'd always ill (we are talking meat sandwiches and beer for the last 2 weeks).....he went barmy and bit my head off, i left leaving him to stew.
Had a wee lie down on the bed, then Sarah phoned to find out where Tina lived and what time the party started! 7.30pm prompt i was jogging down Whitcliffe road, with card, present, wine, lemonade and 2 bags of sensations (i'd skipped tea.... what do you mean i don't eat properly? fookoff!) had an ace night, girly chats, BB eviction, party games, loads of wine, crisps for tea...........Jo had brought her 2 yr old Amber who was the entertainment, (quite a forward girl calling me Auntie Karen on our 1st meeting).
Little cutie, 11pm Amber and Jo were homeward bound, balloon in hand to appease the 2yr old as she wanted to come to the mucky pub and sleep in Tina's bed.
So moi, Sarah, Beth, Hayley, Tina and Spug toddled off into town, had 2 ciders outside the station, chatted to Hayley's cousin....random! Sarah was dodging Tunners attentions, tee hee all very funny! much to Beth's alarm i actually went to the Regal, but not for long, 1 drink a couple of dances (Rasta D.J hollering "i thought you'd left the country") Tina was necking mad concoctions bought for her by the thong wearing Beetham. Me and Sarah shuffled off to the curry house, where Sarah decided on her dish by looking at someone else's meal and bellowing "what y'aving"...cringe! so she munching her way through some potato balti shit, i had a lamb korma...........forgotten how nice they were!
A2B taxi to share, Bedfordshire v.tired, not used to staying out so late, fell into my pit at 1.25am and was sparko!
Saturday was awoken at lunch by Meg pawing my face, think she wanted feeding, Saturday day consisted of washing, BB repeats, lunch of supernoodles and Actimel, nipped to Birstall Curry's to swap freeview box, that isn't broken at all, my aerial needs upgrading, fitted new 1 then stomped around the bedroom in a mad hig. Chatted to Marlo in her kitchen for an hour, she was chomping at the bit as she's under the weather and Jim was bringing home excess washing for her......poor Mum! watered the garden, let cats in, then got ready for night 2 out with the girls, met Spug at the top of Vine street, then joined the others (Sarah, Hayley, Beth, Tina and Katy) in Aldo's at 7pm. Had a lovely meal, tomato garlic bread, Malibu chicken and chips, washed down with lots of vino, Tina was having palpitations as he brought the candle out, whilst rubbing his hairy chest up and down her back, we all sang Happy Birthday...........paid the bill.. £17 each and we shuffled to stand outside spoons at 8.45pm.
Phoned Andy who was decidedly chipper, on the mend and on his 4th pint...he'd see me in 1/2hr, Sarah had 1 reef, a pint of Magners, then toddled off to see her Nephew Sam ,making sure she got a cab before the strike started at 11pm. V. wise, unlike us Muppets who stayed till the death and were stranded in town.
I was chatting to all and sundry, flitting around like a social butterfly, sat with the WAGS a while, talked to John and Claire about big brothers view on our relationship and how much Gill loved me..........Aw!!, Tina, Spug and Beth shot off to the Station, Regal etc for more action, Katy and myself stayed with our men, i didn't think i'd had that much to drink.........however i was soon to be proved wrong, Grant, Andy, me, Katy and Rachel all climbed in Rach's Lupo.........(I'm asking her how much for a chin wax and laughing at my own joke, on my own).
Rachel threw us out at the cottages, Alan is re-tarmacing the pavement etc............picture the scene, me, stilettos, drink and uneven surfaces...........bad combination, i missed my footing, landed on my hand, then in my haste to get up, put my shoe heel through the bottom of my skirt.
Andy nipped to the loo...tutting, then rollacked me for pouring a glass of wine, instead of sorting my finger and knee out that were both pissing with blood.
He gave his lecture up as a bad job, took himself off to bed, i follwed, sat at the dressing table and i was sipping my wine, having a fag and watching BB live, while talking incessantly about tripe, until he put the pillow over his head, even i can take a hint, he was snoring soundly when i stumbled into bed, where he said i carried on talking for another 1/2hr............me thinks he made that up!
Sunday...oh my god, my head!, my finger, my knee.........my amorous boyfriend.......get off me i'm dying!
Succumbed and off he trots at 9.15am, with strict orders i'd to shake my feathers, pick him up at 10.15am, take him to the club to get his car, then collect the girls, let out a strangled yelp and did all my morning routine in slow motion.
Loaded the car and by 10.30am, we were on our way to Bridlington, thank the lord Andy was driving, the girls in the back (Beth, Spug and Tina), even looked more perky than me and they'd be fighting with the Polish Neighbours at 3am!
By 1pm, the 5 of us, had weed, eaten Buzy Bees fish and chips, parked the car (Southshore) and were plonked on the beach with Rach, Dean, Mark, Ruth and Megan. We stayed put till 5pm, all had a lovely afternoon, got a bit burnt, me and Dean went in the sea (Beth found it highly amusing that i'd taken my cossie and was making superman comments about my ability to change, while retaining my dignity). Moi, Ruth and Andy played sand bowls.... very expensive birthday present from Sarah 3yrs ago......1st time they had been utilised!!! Dean and Mark borrowed them, when it came to pack up, 1 was missing...........howge drama, it took the 10 of us, 1/2 hr to unearth the entire area we'd been sat on looking for it...........i must comment Megan wasn't much of a help.
Then Eagle eyed Spug, spotted some snotty nosed 3 yr old playing with it 50 yards down the beach.........the thieving little shit......he is surely heading for a life of crime, starting at that age, i stormed over snatched it off him and gave him a thick ear..............well not really!!
We climbed into 2 cars and met at the Harbour, after a short stint in the amusements(i won a skipping rope on the Grand National), us 5 went to Weatherspoons for Sunday dinner and them 5 went back to their chalet to crank up the BBQ. We called up for an hour (they were staying in Flamborough), Andy was having t.v withdrawal, he likes to get at least 9 hrs in on a Sunday..........the 3 girls started on the Fosters, while R&M, D&R, were knocking back white wine and Carlsberg respectively, i was on my 14hr fast and just stood gazing longingly.
I offered to drive back as Andy looked bushed, home the M62 way, bypassing Wetwang, Pump lane and Stamford bridge (my preferred route). Threw them 3 out at Weatherspoons at 10.40pm, dropped Andy home, had a bit of a snog on doorstep!, then i collapsed into bed at 11.30pm, after a long bath, slightly sunburnt, rosy cheeked but happy as a sandboy after a brilliant weekend.
Friday i was out of work like a greyhound out of trap 3, flew home, lets cats out, brought washing in, then nipped to Andy's to take him his medicine..........mellow dramatic or what?
He looked like he was on his death bed, unshaven, ripped t.shirt....chatted to JP a short while as he'd nipped in to watch sky sports and read the papers, when he nicked off, i hinted to Andy that he didn't eat a balanced diet and this might be why he'd always ill (we are talking meat sandwiches and beer for the last 2 weeks).....he went barmy and bit my head off, i left leaving him to stew.
Had a wee lie down on the bed, then Sarah phoned to find out where Tina lived and what time the party started! 7.30pm prompt i was jogging down Whitcliffe road, with card, present, wine, lemonade and 2 bags of sensations (i'd skipped tea.... what do you mean i don't eat properly? fookoff!) had an ace night, girly chats, BB eviction, party games, loads of wine, crisps for tea...........Jo had brought her 2 yr old Amber who was the entertainment, (quite a forward girl calling me Auntie Karen on our 1st meeting).
Little cutie, 11pm Amber and Jo were homeward bound, balloon in hand to appease the 2yr old as she wanted to come to the mucky pub and sleep in Tina's bed.
So moi, Sarah, Beth, Hayley, Tina and Spug toddled off into town, had 2 ciders outside the station, chatted to Hayley's cousin....random! Sarah was dodging Tunners attentions, tee hee all very funny! much to Beth's alarm i actually went to the Regal, but not for long, 1 drink a couple of dances (Rasta D.J hollering "i thought you'd left the country") Tina was necking mad concoctions bought for her by the thong wearing Beetham. Me and Sarah shuffled off to the curry house, where Sarah decided on her dish by looking at someone else's meal and bellowing "what y'aving"...cringe! so she munching her way through some potato balti shit, i had a lamb korma...........forgotten how nice they were!
A2B taxi to share, Bedfordshire v.tired, not used to staying out so late, fell into my pit at 1.25am and was sparko!
Saturday was awoken at lunch by Meg pawing my face, think she wanted feeding, Saturday day consisted of washing, BB repeats, lunch of supernoodles and Actimel, nipped to Birstall Curry's to swap freeview box, that isn't broken at all, my aerial needs upgrading, fitted new 1 then stomped around the bedroom in a mad hig. Chatted to Marlo in her kitchen for an hour, she was chomping at the bit as she's under the weather and Jim was bringing home excess washing for her......poor Mum! watered the garden, let cats in, then got ready for night 2 out with the girls, met Spug at the top of Vine street, then joined the others (Sarah, Hayley, Beth, Tina and Katy) in Aldo's at 7pm. Had a lovely meal, tomato garlic bread, Malibu chicken and chips, washed down with lots of vino, Tina was having palpitations as he brought the candle out, whilst rubbing his hairy chest up and down her back, we all sang Happy Birthday...........paid the bill.. £17 each and we shuffled to stand outside spoons at 8.45pm.
Phoned Andy who was decidedly chipper, on the mend and on his 4th pint...he'd see me in 1/2hr, Sarah had 1 reef, a pint of Magners, then toddled off to see her Nephew Sam ,making sure she got a cab before the strike started at 11pm. V. wise, unlike us Muppets who stayed till the death and were stranded in town.
I was chatting to all and sundry, flitting around like a social butterfly, sat with the WAGS a while, talked to John and Claire about big brothers view on our relationship and how much Gill loved me..........Aw!!, Tina, Spug and Beth shot off to the Station, Regal etc for more action, Katy and myself stayed with our men, i didn't think i'd had that much to drink.........however i was soon to be proved wrong, Grant, Andy, me, Katy and Rachel all climbed in Rach's Lupo.........(I'm asking her how much for a chin wax and laughing at my own joke, on my own).
Rachel threw us out at the cottages, Alan is re-tarmacing the pavement etc............picture the scene, me, stilettos, drink and uneven surfaces...........bad combination, i missed my footing, landed on my hand, then in my haste to get up, put my shoe heel through the bottom of my skirt.
Andy nipped to the loo...tutting, then rollacked me for pouring a glass of wine, instead of sorting my finger and knee out that were both pissing with blood.
He gave his lecture up as a bad job, took himself off to bed, i follwed, sat at the dressing table and i was sipping my wine, having a fag and watching BB live, while talking incessantly about tripe, until he put the pillow over his head, even i can take a hint, he was snoring soundly when i stumbled into bed, where he said i carried on talking for another 1/2hr............me thinks he made that up!
Sunday...oh my god, my head!, my finger, my knee.........my amorous boyfriend.......get off me i'm dying!
Succumbed and off he trots at 9.15am, with strict orders i'd to shake my feathers, pick him up at 10.15am, take him to the club to get his car, then collect the girls, let out a strangled yelp and did all my morning routine in slow motion.
Loaded the car and by 10.30am, we were on our way to Bridlington, thank the lord Andy was driving, the girls in the back (Beth, Spug and Tina), even looked more perky than me and they'd be fighting with the Polish Neighbours at 3am!
By 1pm, the 5 of us, had weed, eaten Buzy Bees fish and chips, parked the car (Southshore) and were plonked on the beach with Rach, Dean, Mark, Ruth and Megan. We stayed put till 5pm, all had a lovely afternoon, got a bit burnt, me and Dean went in the sea (Beth found it highly amusing that i'd taken my cossie and was making superman comments about my ability to change, while retaining my dignity). Moi, Ruth and Andy played sand bowls.... very expensive birthday present from Sarah 3yrs ago......1st time they had been utilised!!! Dean and Mark borrowed them, when it came to pack up, 1 was missing...........howge drama, it took the 10 of us, 1/2 hr to unearth the entire area we'd been sat on looking for it...........i must comment Megan wasn't much of a help.
Then Eagle eyed Spug, spotted some snotty nosed 3 yr old playing with it 50 yards down the beach.........the thieving little shit......he is surely heading for a life of crime, starting at that age, i stormed over snatched it off him and gave him a thick ear..............well not really!!
We climbed into 2 cars and met at the Harbour, after a short stint in the amusements(i won a skipping rope on the Grand National), us 5 went to Weatherspoons for Sunday dinner and them 5 went back to their chalet to crank up the BBQ. We called up for an hour (they were staying in Flamborough), Andy was having t.v withdrawal, he likes to get at least 9 hrs in on a Sunday..........the 3 girls started on the Fosters, while R&M, D&R, were knocking back white wine and Carlsberg respectively, i was on my 14hr fast and just stood gazing longingly.
I offered to drive back as Andy looked bushed, home the M62 way, bypassing Wetwang, Pump lane and Stamford bridge (my preferred route). Threw them 3 out at Weatherspoons at 10.40pm, dropped Andy home, had a bit of a snog on doorstep!, then i collapsed into bed at 11.30pm, after a long bath, slightly sunburnt, rosy cheeked but happy as a sandboy after a brilliant weekend.
posted by Karen @ 11:05 AM
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