lagertops

Does anyone still read this?

2008-03-07T15:56:00.002Z

Just wondering!

I'm tapping away at the keys and worried no booger is reading it.

Oh well, if you are.....leave a comment.

No. 1 news on the agenda, I am pigged off with the diet...........grrrr! last week, I stuck to the diet 110%, swam 3 miles and walked 8 and lost 1/2 a measly lb.......what's all that about, was so cross I didn't stay to "image therapy" stormed out, came home ate my tea after I'd sulked in the bath for 40 mins (I was actually having a bath, not just sat in it with my clothes on). Then demolished every piece of chocolate in sight.
So I have put back on the weight it's taken me a week to lose.
Well done Horns.

Rest of my news in brief:

Andy has a job starting at Easter 99% nailed on, god I hope so.....he went for an interview last Monday in Halifax, I had to drive him and schlep Thomas out in the snow as he couldn't possibly drive and read a map, it's SO true that men can't multitask.
Anyhew it was a dire job and Mr. low self esteem was worried he might not get it, well good news is he didn't have to take it (even though he had been shortlisted), patronising twats!!! as this other one has come about..........it's not what you know it's who you know.
We need to buy another car, but that's ok.....he was thinking a landrover, I was thinking another fiesta.

What else?

I've not been out for 3 weeks, that is not touched a crop of alcohol either..boo!

Went to an Ann Summers party at my cousins the other Wednesday, ooh lordy lord, I've turned into a right prude, was looking at the Winceyette Nightie section at the back of the catalogue and settling for a pair of reduced pyjamas while them mad lot were purchasing fishnet bodystockings with crotchless gussets to entice and thrill their partners!!! WTF!!!
Highlight of the party was when one of Katie's mates turned up, sporting a spangly jacket and doing a twirl while announcing "Matalan, 6 quid.........it should have been 12 but i swapped label".
I nearly choked on me muiller light.

This week has been quite quiet, Sunday, had a lovely 1st Mothers day, swam...brekkie, walked to Mum's (5 miles for all that it's worth), then home, quick change and had Sunday roast at Claire and John's ( i resisted wine and pudding and took my own yogurt, i want to cry at how hard i dieted for no outcome).
I don't want to hear all that muscle weighs more than fat malarkey........
Sob sob!
Monday his lordships interview.
Tuesday, i swam...domestic goddess p.m.
Wednesday we walked to Union road cafe to lend our Sarah Thomas' Bumboo, then lunch with fat buster cousins at Katie's, (7 kids, 9 adults, makes for one very full living room) ate a ridiculous amount of carbs, felt fit to burst.
Called at Mum's on the way home, had a 40 minute natter......while Thomas padded round the bungalow on all fours.

Thursday/Friday.. to my place of work, i have spent more than i have earned this week in my lunch hours....oops!
Morrisons (essentials), then went mad in TKMaxx this morning, bought a cupboard, a chair, 2 cushions, Hayley a 30th pressie and a big fat wooden cat.........i needed that!

Speaking of cats, funniest thing ever..Andy was telling me last night, that he told his Father not to let Meg out, when they were fetching Thomas to take him for a walk.
By all accounts his Dad pinned Meg down onto the step by the throat like she was a wild animal..shouting "i've got her", poor cat, she is thee most timid feline in the whole world, Andy said her eyes were bulging as if pleading with him to get this leather gloved freak off her.........Hahhhaaa!
I thought i was going to wee when he told me.

So the diet has all gone to pot, i was in so much of a sulk last night i cancelled the babysitter for tomorrow. (no friends playing out anyway), Katy is going to Crufts, Spug..Wales with Leeny and Mikey, can't get hold of Caroline, Ruth and Vikes are going to a wedding, so decided to stay sober for another weekend.
Until Steven phoned at 9am, to see if i wanted to go for curry tonight, a wee bit of tweaking the evening plans to compensate Porray, Vikes and little Sister and we are all going to Aldo's at 8pm to eat like Kings, i'll be shitfaced on 2 glasses of wine.........oh dear it could be messy!

But at least i'm going out, dieting is all very well and good, but swapping a healthy lifestyle for your social life is no way to carry on.

To blog or not to blog

2008-02-29T16:18:00.001Z

I'm losing interest in blogging to be honest, i think if you keep on top of it, it's not so bad..but when you've let the old thing wane a wee bit, you can't be bothered to re-trace your steps and cast your mind back weeks and weeks to let the odd punter know what you've been doing in your futile existence.

I do know I've been doing lots of exercise, yep moi...swimming 3 miles a week and walking double that.

I have lost all my baby weight and an extra stone........hurrah!
I am now 3 dress sizes smaller than i was last September when joining fat fighters.

What else, Thomas is know bezzing about on all fours, one minute he was wriggling and gurgling like a tiny baby, then i blinked and he's off...crawling, pulling himself up on the furniture and doing lots of shouting, whilst pulling lumps of cat fur out of any of our unsuspecting moggies.
Hee hee, little Tommy Porrait......light of my life!

I can't even remember what i wrote last time i blogged, it reckon it was Edinburgh..to be honest, we've done very little since then.

Andy is job hunting at the moment after a debacle i can't even go into, the upshot is he's better off out of whatever is going on, he needs to get a proper 9-5 job, that pays holiday pay and his pension.....etc, none of this self employed, paying your own stamp and saving up for your tax return malarkey.
The thing is, he's okay to take a few week/month off but A. I don't want him to get too comfy and B. it won't look good him having such a long break on his C.V.

The only new things i reckon have happened afe, last weekend we went up to Darlington for Sunday lunch at a nice hotel, then onto to Gabe and Dawns where we had a nice afternoon, we even ventured to the beach, Not seen dawn since all her Ops but she's looking very well.
The weekend before that we were invited to Ruth and the Vikings for Sunday lunch, we thought we'd walk, 1 hr and 45mins later..jeez, had a lovely dinner and cadged a lift back, with Tom wedged in-between Mummy and Daddy on the back seat of the C4. Quite safe occifer!!!

This weekend, Matt is home for Mothers day, but not going out boozing, this is good for me as i'll try to have a 100% week diet wise.
Sunday John and Claire have invited us and G&D up to theirs for tea which will be lovely and also means i won't have cooked a roast for nearly a month! hurrah!!!

Other news to note, Sarah is doing the race for life,so all get sponsoring her, contact me for the link.
The last time she was home with SS (now boyfriend) in tow, i seem to recall being jack lacquered and only stayed out for a few (not like the old days) luckily after my 4 drinks, i was home at 11.30pm just as Andy was changing Thomas, all bleary eyed......looking none too happy, the one night he chooses not to sleep through, Daddy has had 4 pints at teatime and was in a deep deep slumber and Mummy was out drinking apple juice with 3 bellies, poor Baba.

Ooh i did go out for a full evening the weekend before last, it was Caroline's birthday and we met early doors in the Commercial, that's why i only lost 1/2lb last week, 4 corona, 2 cider, a big fat sandwich and a bag of crisps when we got in at midnight.tee hee!
It was a good night, chatted to Katy most of it...Andy was blathered and was seen to yakking up some horrid body fluids in the middle of the night, for me to clear up......tut tut! so it must have been the day after we walked to Ruth's, yes it's all making sense.

So that's my news, short and sweet.

Edinburgh, ballcocks and head colds

2008-02-08T14:50:00.000Z

Oh dear, nearly 3 weeks has passed since my last blog.......i'll never remember what I've done in all that time....rubbish!

I'll just edit the highlights...........

Edinburgh was fab, very indulgent, lots of good nosh, booze, exercise, nookie and fresh air.
Not in that order.

Friday was spent travelling, said au revoir to our beautiful Son early doors, while Steven took us to the station.
Stopped in Alnwick on the way up where i ate stupid amounts of shit food ( as diets don't count when you are away on holiday) anyhow my system isn't used to so much saturated fat and i felt as ill as can be when we arrived at the hotel.

Still managed my complimentary shortbread, coffee and scones...tee hee!
Had a few pints in the evening, sat in the hotel bar after our meal..very civilised.......bed 11.30ish.

Saturday, some lonely lady who was travelling solo befriended us, poor 45yr old Ann..we didn't mind and she was nice enough, if not a little rough around the edges.
After breakfast, we went on a guided tour of the city.......with a true Scot in his kilt as our tour guide. Edinburgh zoo in the afternoon, (Andy's favorite was the pig who he saw do a shit)........jeez!!
Back to the hotel, where i swam a mile in the pool, followed by the spa and steam room, quick change then a 4 course meal, with some random father and son bagpipe playing combo as entertainment for the evening.

Sunday, walked to Portobello beach after breakfast..then headed home, calling at Gretna Green en route, bought shortbread tins as pressies and a haggis for Jim.
Stayed at M&J's for Sunday lunch on our return, Thomas sat on my knee munching his way through a Yorkshire pud...cutie!!

Trying to think of other things i have done........got really wellied with Ruth last Saturday night, ooh it was messy, 4 bottles of vino.........while watching Pricilla Queen of the Desert, by 2am we were smoking fags in the living room, like it was 2005 again.....struth!!!
Matt also called round last Saturday on route to his Uncles, it was lovely to see him, we nattered for a couple of hours and played with Thomas.

Ooh i'm struggling for news, mainly my life in a nut shell, has a bit of a routine.

Mondays..Thomas and i shop, clean and prepare meals.
Tuesdays..I go for a lunchtime swim (i've joined the gym next door to make my length swimming cheaper). Marlo or Jim give Thomas his dinner, the afternoon is spent at our leisure.
Wednesdays.. i lunch with the Healeys, we take it in turns to cook slimming world food at each others houses, it's all very twee (i'd say Stepford wives, but nothing could be further from the truth).
The rest of Wednesday i batch bake for the lunches and evening meals for the rest of the week.
Thursdays..i work, then go to fat club to get weighed, sometimes i stay to class if i've had a good weight loss and there's a change i'm in for winning the manky fruit.
Fridays..i work, then collect Thomas and we have a family evening, somtimes we manage to have tea, sort Thomas (supper, p.j's, bed) and watch t.v. staying up past the 10.
Saturdays..i swim early doors, Andy plays Rugby in the afternoon, maybe out at night or what ever other plans may come our way.
Sundays..either lazy morning due to hangover, or up and about walking Thomas, sometimes we invite people round to Sunday lunch, sometimes not..i have noticed hardly anyone invites us back for lunch the lazy so and sos.

The only thing i do know is, there aren't enough hours in the day when you have a small child, part time job, a house to run and a bone idle boyfriend, no seriously i don't know what i did with my time before i had a baby and i feel i may never be bored again.

Last weekend though, we were a bit thrown to wake up and see all that snow on the ground, sacked off swimming, no reason other than it had snowed (well not strictly true, our new car had arrived and i didn't want to crash it driving in hazadous conditions before Andy had even had a go). Rugby was called off, so off the cuff we took my parents to the Saw for a 3-course lunch,we all ate till we were stuffed, Thomas was an angel, just sat in his highchair..grinning and shouting.
Andy went down to watch the match at the club, while i pottered in the afternoon.
Sunday i was pissed out of my head still..all day.
Managed to russle up a 1/2 baked Sunday lunch for 6.30pm after rearranging Thomas' Nursery to compensate a new solid pine £170 unit i'd hoisted from work, it took me the best part of the day. God i was rough.

Monday i started with catarrh, we shoped a.m then went to Steven and Clairs new abode for Clairs birthday lunch, nice salad...Mmm. Resisted cake as i am a true fat fighter, gave her a Radley purse and them both a light fitting i'd found in the back room at work, which i wish i'd kept for myself when i'd seen it was £60 on ebay...doh!
Home t.time, where i started with the most horiffic cold ever..........boo!

Tuesday, what a shit day..woke up, streaming with head cold, thought i'd try fix the leaking over flow pipe by slightly bending the copper pipe attached to the ballcock inside the toilet cistern.......promptly snapped it in half, the water was rising up and up and up.
I was frantically dragging Thomas' old unit (which i'd just filled full of cat sachets, washing tablets, cleaning products, carrier bags, old tablecloths etc) off the trap door in the kitchen to open it to get to the fucking stoptap to turn the water off............oh me!!!
Managed to get hold of trusty old Mike my plumber and he came round and saved the day followed by my Mother who couldn't sit Thomas as i wasn't swimming due to streaming cold, she fed him at our house and tootled off about her business, Jim called and drilled some holes, then went on his way, Steven called with my hair tint..........eeh it was like Piccadilly circus!

Wednesday was my day to host the Family fatclub luncheon (was still so ill, wanted to cry had been up all the night streaming with this fooking cold), mini spuds (seasalted and frylighted), macaroni cheese, salads, paella rice, corn an the cob..yoghurts and jellies for 11 adults and children on the menu.
Mucho preparing, washing up and blitzing the house involved, but when it's only your turn every 6 weeks it's not so bad.
Went back to bed at 2.30pm, until Thomas woke from his afternoon nap.

So a mixed week, not the best, have cried twice down to traumas and poorliness, which isn't like me these days.
Funny weekend planned, was going to go to Newcastle to see Gabe and Dawn Sunday just to give the car a run out, but they are down here and so it seems is Sarah (thanks for the 1 day notice and invite out tomorrow night for beers)....Grrr!!!
So what i had planned was.....flicks, coast and dieting this weekend.
What actually may happen is.. flicks, shopping, copious amounts of magners, no trip to the seaside as i'll be hungover to fuck and weight gaining a plenty! Oh dear!!!

It's not all bad, i do like drinking, it just doesn't like me.

The last 2 weeks

2008-01-21T17:57:00.000Z

Friday 11th

After a long day at the office (cough splutter) and to reward myself for losing a lb at fat club last night, thought i'd have a few sneaky G&T's while watching an old episode of the Street we'd sky plussed.......oh my god, it was the saddest thing i've ever seen, ended up blubbing like a baby. Good job Andy was in bed.......he'd gone to watch the darts at 8.30pm and promptly fallen asleep..........Jeez, i know you work hard, but it's Friday night!!!!

Saturday 12th

Thomas went to sleep at Gill and Dave's for the evening, so we could go out on the lash, picked Katy up in a taxi, then joined Caroline, Claire, Spug and Nicola......where we had a few sociable pots before getting a mini bus into town, dropping a pissed Andy and his kit bag at home.......struth!!!
Had an ace night, making the most of my twice monthly night out, by smoking 2 fags and guzzling magners (all thoughts of fat fighters had escaped me as i generously get the round of crisps in for moi, Caz, John, Claire and Waitey). Swapped diet tips with Mark...random!! Left the commy, Caroline dragged me up to the Station, we'd had far too much to drink already.....not to worry...Sis, Rach, Dean, Tina and the Vikes were in there, Ruth and Tina sang my name full blast to the tune of "go west" which doesn't fucking annoy me at all........much! all v.hazy, Caroline was telling me which naughty spoken for blokey had been coming on to her!!! tut tut!
Bed for 12.45am.

Sunday 13th

Hangover didn't kick in till 2pm, felt fab all morning, up with Tom Tom at 7am no problem!!
So was making the Sunday roast on go slow, roping Andy in to do pigs in blankets and Thomas to peel some spuds.
Note to self, when you've invited people to Sunday lunch do NOT go and get slaughtered the night before!!!

Lovely day, Clair and Steven arrived at 5pm, we all filled our boots, me and younger sibling firing claret down like it was Christmas, to gasps and mucho astonishment from the Evian drinkers, we booked Center Parcs for the end of June........Whoohoo! Clair took the mouse off me, as our budget holiday turned into a mini luxury spa with hydro baths a maid service and breakfast passes.......ah fuck it it's only money! no seriously the tell tale signed of me being squiffy, was when i entered the cars reg's and stated that both parties drove Escorts and we all lived at the same abode!
Time for bed Josephine!!

Monday 14th

Highlights of the day.
Our recycling bins were emptied and i died my roots.

Tuesday 15th

Made amends with Marlo after her cutting remarks and calls to Jeremy Kyle about me being an unfit Mother, well truth was Jimbo called me behind her back while she was at Batley Tescos, saying he'd have Tom for me if i wanted a swim....god bless my Father!
It was raining cats and dogs, was going to have a pyjama day but fook it, quick shop........had a couple of hours chatting with the old folk........they'd bought Thomas a chavtastic tracksuit on one of their many jaunts, utilising their free bus passes! tee hee!

Swam (can't manage a mile in the designated hour and was slightly peeved as i have a bit of OCD about doing exactly 48 lengths when i venture to Spen baths). Obsessive freak!! collected Son, nice afternoon pottering!

Wednesday 16th

Joined the baby club cousins for lunch, mayhem ensues when the Healey's get together, Thomas and i lead quite a serene life compared, anyhew it's nice to have company, other Mums in the same boat and all that, they are also doing the Slimming world diet so we had lots to talk about, Got there at 11.30am after making the next 2 days meals and pack ups.
It was green day (all carbs) for dinner, i have never seen as many jacket spuds, rice and pasta dishes on one table. Ate till i thought i would burst, no sooner had we finished, when Auntie Edith phoned to say Peter had kicked off as the kitchen was a mess....holy moly, what some people have to put up with (and i moan about Andy).
Ran Adele to Wakefield, bobbed my head round Grandmas bedroom door, she looked aged.....could have cried, there she was in her nightgown in the middle of the day asleep with some mutt on the bed.
I know she can't look after herself anymore, but is this till the end of her days? felt very ashamed i don't visit her more often.
Thomas slept all the way there and back, got back to Sarah's thinking at least they'd be an extra seat, oh no, Helen, her 2 boys and Uncle Dennis had shown up, it was like a fooking madhouse!!! I'm so not used to noise, fed Tom, left at 2.30ish and Morrisons on the way home.

Thurs 17th

Tom to Gill's, work and respite for me, a whole day...that's 8 1/2hrs mental space...heaven.
Off to fat club at 6pm, only lost 1/2lb, booze and buns to blame, vowed to have 100% next week.
Home after collecting Son from Grandparents at 7, stew, baths, bottles, madness....always sleep really well these days, i wonder why!!??!

Fri 18th

Nothing to report, work was the same old, bit of sourcing, few errands, lunch at the crown point retail park, buying shit in TKMaxx..Andy thought going back to work would curb my spending...mwahhhh!
Pleasant evening, washing, the box, Son to bed early, always worn after after being played with solidly for 2 days AP, got a chinky, i'm too fat for takeaways, resisted a sneaky Gin and the ones that follow.100% week you see!!! took myself off to Mothers to drop Steven and Clair some freebie works towels off and Vikes a Tykes a shirts, the Triv was out and Xmas atmos once again, knew i would be mighty peeved if Andy was at his folks playing board games with his family on a Friday night, while i was home alone babysitting the boy, so left early and in bed for 10pm, after folding 2 wash loads.

Saturday 19th

All started out well, i swim after rising at silly o'clock with the boy, bathing feeding and dressing him, enabling me to have 1 1/2hrs me time. Met Clair at the pool at 9am, had a merry old time laughing at club foot (a woman who swam with 1 foot in the air) and the woman and her 2 kids getting bollocked by the life guard for larking about........it's a serious exercise class, you silly mare!! bathed, changed, breakfasts, fed Tom, then went shopping just for something to do, got cot/bed sheets, Pyrex, deodorants, teatowels, Thomas more jeans and other drek we didn't need.
Called at Mums and fed Thomas, then home early evening, awaiting Potrats return to put him his pizza in after his usual Saturday "3 pints". Waited and waited and waited, Ruth txt at 9pm saying they were all at the club...cheers!!!. Turned off the oven, and being pre-menstrual, took a rather wobbly look at my life, felt a wee bit downtrodden as he was at the club having rugga bugga banter and pints of lager, i was in pj's, son in bed, can't have a ciggie, choccie or a bevvie. Took myself off to bed and fooking STEWED!!!
By the time he arrived home at 11pm, unable to stand, he got it both barrels right between the eyes and not a wet garment from the clothes airer in the spare room in sight!!!

Sunday 20th

All thoughts of his 60hr working weeks, the fact he gives me all his wages, never asks for anything, and is as faithful as a puppy......went out the window, couldn't prevent the steam from billowing out of my earholes, he made an appearance 3 hrs after we'd got up, couldn't trust myself to speak to him, was on Ruth's doorstep at 11am, (even though we'd stormed out, i managed to pack Tom's lunch and pasta in sauce and a nice muiller light for me). Stayed till 1pm, nipped to Boots, walked out of Toysrus as it was too busy, how Auntie Gill works there is any ones guess, then called and gave him his tea at Marlo's, Grandma was there wearing some drag pan stick and looking 20 years younger with her teeth in.

Home for 4pm, Andy had tidied up, washed up, fed cats, collected his kit from the club and managed to work the washer, he'd even called and bought me flowers from Tesco's.
Oh no that's right.......i've actually walked into the wrong house.

He'd actually not moved a muscle all day,ligged on the sofa, watching snooker, scratching his nads, THE THE THE ..........well, being a lady i won't repeat the words expelled from my mouth at 1o decibels.
Tears, more screaming, threats.........ooh it wasn't pretty.
Had a nice bath, talked calmly........explained in a child like manner, that it wasn't that he'd gone for beers, it was that he treat me like his mother, by not thinking he had to let me know. He took it all on the chin, said all the right things until i'd served up his Sunday dinner.

Punished him by making him watch Shirley Valentine, he guffawed all the way through, seeing uncanny resemblances between himself and the Husband Joe...(yes that's the whole point of you watching it). Still mad when we went to bed, but not as mad.........bloody men!

Monday 21st

Lovely, raining heavily so stayed indoors for the duration, just baking, playing with Thomas, few light chores...afternoon nap on the sofa, had to wake Tom at 4pm or he wouldn't have slept tonight the lazy little urchin.
So that's the lot, busy week ahead.
More swimming, lunching with the Healey's, shopping, need to pay Andy's stamp, fat club, but no work this week as we're off to Edinburgh.....yippee! Robert Burns birthday memoriam.
Can't wait, 2 nights in a 4 star hotel all paid for by the boyfriend i moan about so much, Mother having Thomas, Steven said Trisha and the camera crew were round yesterday getting her side of the story about me leaving Thomas so much. Grrrr! it's not healthy to have a clingy baby.
I'm a wonderful Mother, with a well rounded, well behaved, impecably turned out angel of a son!

Stick that in the end of your JPS and smoke it!

Happy new year

2008-01-11T10:22:00.000Z

It's been a while mon ami's.

I'm going to have to edit the last few weeks, ideally i'd highlight the last 10 months, but that'd be a mental blog and a half.

So Christmas and the lead up to it:

Thursday 13th
Our works Xmas do, very funny indeed.

Pre-meal, we had a private booth booked in the Leeds city centre Karaoke bar, only Johnny and i could hold a note, but a good time was had by all and the vino was flowing.
I stuck to cider as i've learnt from heaving in the taxi a few weeks earlier (the last time i barfed was Nov 25th 2005) that i can not drink copious amounts of wine like the good old days.

The meal was appalling, rushed, conveyor belt, mass produced food at £45 a head, David was mullered, asleep at the table, Huggy got thrown out for making lewd comments at the waitress........usual debacle!

I left at 11.30pm, had a few drags of Leigh's fag, £20 cab ride home, in bed for Midnight, no hangover the next day for work, i'm so mature.

Sunday 16th.

The exchanging of Xmas gifts at Sugden towers. Andy, I and the boy, set off early doors and had a picnic over the tops in our car, only to eat a 3 course meal less than an hour after our lunch (well we didn't know we'd be eating at 1pm).
Thirza and Olivia, wouldn't leave Thomas alone, wanting him on their knee, carrying him around like a little rag doll.
Chris cooked something in a Guinness sauce, which was erm different. Lovely day, lots of expensive claret...i had a warm rosey glow as Andy drove home, feeling all Christmassy.

Don't remember what the hell happened the next 5 days.

Saturday 22nd

Helen, Jo (new bird) came visiting from Southampton, before Hells jets off to Brisban for 12 months to further her Doctors career, she bought me champers and flowers (honestly Helen i know it's the 1st time you've seen Thomas, but i gave birth 9 months ago).

Left Marlo and Jim babysitting (although my Mother does not approve of me going out, going to work, going to the toilet........anything that involves me leaving my baby's side).
Had to be home for 11pm, as the oldies like to be in bed early, it was Warrens birthday.....so a mixed bunch of people attending spooners, told all the girls i'd meet them in the Station, never got there as by the time we got to move it was into a taxi and home, Matt hinted to Andy that i should be allowed to stay out, Andy took it as he didn't pull his weight, cursing and muttering ensued, home both in a sulk.
Vowing not to go out together again if we had a curfew, as last orders now being 1am, means we are leaving for home before the night gets going.

Sunday 23th

Matthew, Warren and Caroline came round in the afternoon, i was in bed trying to sleep off my hangover (i can't booze anymore.........rubbish), Caroline bought him a fur lined denim jacket and Matthew purchased him books (what else...tee hee).
Woz had a cider and we all trooped into the nursery to wake Tom, his eyes were like ping pong balls at all the strangers in his bedroom.
Had our Christmas dinner at Mum and Dads on this Sunday, as we were all busy on the real day with in-laws.
Jim did us proud, full mashings, lots of scram (Clair changed into her jimmy bottoms she'd eaten so much......i like that girl!), festive cheer, party games..........very enjoyable indeed, won lots of random prizes, i didn't win the Vikings old fleece, which Marlo had dug out of a bin..she's losing it.

Monday 24th

Xmas eve......whoppee!
My favorite day of the whole holidays.
A few last bits of domesticity a.m. (queueing for Metcalfs stand pies being the most important job) Andy worked till 11am, washed and changed fed Thomas then we all trotted for a family treat at Harry Ramsdens in Guisley, Mmmmm....Thomas was v.cute, eating big chunks of Haddock in his high chair banging his keys loudly and making the chinky couple next to us move to another table.
Lovely evening, put bows on all gifts, sorted into piles and loaded the car. Thomas in bed early, watched Pirates of the Carribean, had 2 glasses of wine and munched our way through lots of festive nuts and choccies, making the most of my fortnight off fat club!!

Tuesday 25th

Xmas day, race against the clock, up, coffees, Thomas bathed, fed, dressed, present opening....all to the Benny Hill theme tune.......made it to the Grove Church Christmas day service for bang on 10am.
Sat with Mum, Steven, Clair and her family...Mother took my Son from me as he was far better off sat with her.
Present opening at my mothers..........v. difficult getting 5 siblings and partners all there at the same time, David turned up without Donna, saying she was still drying her hair and she was walking.
Anyhew, lots of lovely gifts, p.j's, smellies, cash....blah blah!
Thomas was the luckiest boy in the universe and recieved tons of toys, teddies, clothes, books, learning aids, Converse all stars from LA.........you name it, he's got it.
Flew to Gill's with car bulging, to more piles of gifts......Claire and John really spoilt thier nephew, ridiculous amounts of presents, had champagne and sushi, then Claire and John announced thier engagement (wonder what the champers was for, thought Gill had gone a bit ab fab)......DAW!!!
Had a few more glasses of wine, chilled throughout the day...lovely, had Christmas dinner with Gill, Dave, Moi, Andy, Thomas, Auntie Ange, Uncle Mick, Kevin and Grandad.
Home for 6.30pm, was in the bath when Ruth and the Vikes turned up, followed by Mother and Father, Steven and Claire......what a flop, could hardly move for gifts..........tired, bloated, Ruth had to prepare the evening buffet as i was 1/2 cut, Steven fell asleep, watched re-runs of Morcombe and wise, eyes half closed, everyone too full to get drunk.
Masses of tidying up, Thomas in bed for 8pm, (3/4 hr late..tut tut).
Saw guests out of the door into the cold christmas air ..the Christmas star shining brightly overhead...........told you i was pissed!
Bed couldn't come soon enough!

Wednesday 26th

Boxing day

Andy went to the rugby, i went to the sales while Dad watched Thomas, home, fed my boy, washed changed and to the club in the afternoon, which was crammed to the rafters as always, rugga buggars, wags, bairns and taggers on.
Gill and Dave took over the care of their Grandson while i had my 3 diet cokes. Off to Auntie Anges for the afternoon at 3pm, nice buffet, tried not to eat too much as we were going to Ruth's for tea.
Arrived at Sisters 6ish, played games, had more buffet and felt like Dawn French in the episode where she had lunch at every call and was forcing sprouts.......OH you know the one!
Nice time, Andy had been on the bevvy so i was chauffuer.......left for home at bedtime, some young scally had shown us thier festive cheer by smashing our wing mirror off the car.........thank you very much, Andy and Thomas to thier respective beds........vino for me (honestly i think i was mullered through the whole 2 weeks of not dieting!

Thurs 27th
Sales

Friday 28th
Sales, left Tom with G&D while i fetched a new wing mirror, some young Asian boy fitted it, 40 squid..all in!

Dave's (Father in law) birthday, had all the outlaws round for tea including Grandad. Moi, Gill and Claire were on the wine, played triv (John's team won), ate buffet, played with Thomas, they left after the 10...all loveliness and family orintated, masses of tidying up again though, wouldn't mind if lazy arse helped out...........grr!

Saturday 29th
Moi, Andy, Deano, Janine, Sarah (you know her, she thinks a drum kit is a suitable Christmas gift for a 9 month old child), Katy Farter, Spuggly and co, went to the club and into town at night, bumped into Rach, Dean, Ruth and Mark in the Commercial, had lots to drink, 2 fags....tut tut......had a mad evening, just like my pre-parenting years, really let my hair down and was seen doing some special dance moves to impress the barman Spud? in the Station, i however was not as drunk as Katy who had had a fall out with Janine and was calling her a scruffy bitch and she would never speak to her again or summert.
Tee hee! I Think me and Hellsworth shared a taxi, so much for Sarah (i'm coming out for a couple as i'm driving back to GBY Sunday and don't want to be hungover).

Monday 31st

New years eve.
20 or so of our friends, mainly club folk, were holidaying in log cabins in the Lakes not too far from Morcambe, decided to have the day with them, set off early doors, parked up at the side of the Eric Morcambe statue, getting buggy out of car, unbuckled Thomas, then slammed my car door to let the geezer parked next to us out, then realised oh my fucking god, Thomas was locked in the car with the keys on his knee, burst into tears and promptly phoned the fire brigade, who arrived at the same time as Woz, Caroline, John, Claire, Katie, Chris, Claire T and Craig........i'm bleating "don't tell them what i've done". Andy looked at me with mock horror, as if he could avoid it! what a calamity......what a mare, firecrew smashed window as Thomas was now wriggling out of his seat and screaming, they taped the window up and off they popped, leaving me a jibbering wreck.
Had a KFC and fed the poor child, then went back to the chalets for the afternoon, Andy had a few beers, i drove home...unsettled moods, was v.jealous of all the 22 party revellers we'd just left to enjoy new years all together, but glad we had Thomas..home for 7pm, Thomas to bed, chinese and an Eastern spice on the menu, few buckets of cheap plonk.....fooking Jim phoned at midnight, in the middle of all the blasted fire works, cats scurrying around like frightened rabbits and Thomas screaming at the top of his lungs!

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!

Tuesday 1st

Thomas started with a mini man cold.......went to jct 27 for Tyxylix and bought him a new cot and a car seat from mamas and papas while i was there.

Thursday 3rd
Blobbed work, took Thomas to see district nurse with his now barking cough and runny nose (he's fine), left him at Gill's while i went to cooper bridge spares for a back window and met some dodgy geezer who fitted it for a score in the carpark.

More sales shopping, mine and Tom's wardrobes both now bulging, Andy didn't need owt!

Friday 4th.

Back to work for a rest.

Saturday 5th

Length swimming 9-10.30am, Andy overlooked our son, home, cooked brekkies (back on the diet as getting weighed in 5 days and have been consuming 6000 calories per day for the last fortnight). lovely day, played with Thomas, kept him indoors all day to recover from mini man cold, Ruth and Vikes called round for 1/2hr, Andy home from rugby at 6ish with a red on after his 4 pints, t.v, cocoa and bed.

Sunday 6th

Walked to Mothers with buggy, only to be berated for my parenting skills and generally made to feel rubbish about myself, let Andy go to the boozer with his mates in the afternoon (made the deal that i can go out with the girls while he sits Thomas this weekend), while i finished off the Sunday lunch, nice night...just the 3 of us, well 6 of us including moggies.

Tuesday 8th

Spent all day erecting Thomas's new cot, fitting new bigger boy car seat and schlecking his old stuff to Gills and posting personalised thankyou cards (i have far too much time on my hands).

Wednesday 9th

I spend most Wednesdays, washing and preparing lunches and meals for the rest of the week, as i'm at work, Thurs & Fri.

Thursday 10th

Work (i do like my wacky workplace, it makes me smile), Thomas at Grandmas, fetched him after fat club, (i only lost 1lb......grr, in my defense my work clothes are heavier than casual shite i usually wear).
Andy and i bickering last night, as he hadn't run me a bath, come out to the car and helped me with the shopping, he'd basically been laid on the sofa watching the darts while i raced round like the tazmanian devil.
Made friends before bedtime, have left him his weekend jobs on a post it not stuck to the fridge.

That's it i've caught up........last day at work today, i'm very shattered and have put talc in my hair to absorb the grease as couldn't be bothered to wash it last night............But!! it's the weekend and i'm going out tomorrow night.....yippee!

Other news

Tina passed her driving test last week......congrats Tina arena.
Matt has stopped smoking, drinking and eating.
Some fraudster has copied Jims debit card and been on an £800 spending spree.
Auntie Janet (aka Jan Star) has had her kidney removed to wipe out the possibility of a mass, being cancerous...........(she is on the mend).
Being at work is easier than being at home with a 9 month old bambino.
Andy is buying his Dad's fiesta for us, yippee!
Moi, Steven, Clair, Andy and Thomas are booking to go to Centreparcs for a mini break.
I saw that d.j Martin who used to do the Station, he has put on about 4 stone, was with his bird and baby, but he also looked as camp as Christmas.
Simon Pawson has sent me his facebook profile..........i've had a baby, what the fook is facebook?

More news next week!

I'm back

2007-12-06T10:50:00.000Z

It's seems like 2 minutes since i was here last!

But no, 9 months have passed...i have given birth to my son, taken to motherhood like a duck to water.........lost 2 stone of my baby weight.

Kept off the fags...................(ish), and was quite used to being a housewife and loving it!!!

But at the pros and cons meeting, the outcome was, i would return to work Thursday and Friday each week to enable me to carry on spending like a millionaire...Mwaaah!

It's not so bad, Thomas is with his Grandma (who he loves more than me) as she plays with him constantly, instead of running the vac round his feet while fitting 101 jobs around his 4 hour feeds.

We'll see how long the working malarky will last, when Andy gets home from work this evening to a cold dark house, no bath run and no tea made......he'll have a rude awakening..tee hee.

No..stop it, it will be fine.....2 days i can manage...think positive!!!

Anyhow i will blog again soon as i'm going to do some work now......the word seems almost alien to me!

Karen's back soon

2007-10-04T12:35:00.000Z

Yippee!!

What a week......my last at my desk!!!

2007-03-02T14:56:00.000Z

What else is there to do on your last day at work, lets face it, not a lot of real work is going to get done.

Might as well blog the weeks news:

First of all can i tell you the elation i felt this morning, when i had to get out of bed to a ringing alarm, for the very last time (for the foreseeable future), yes i know I'll be up all night with baby, but better that than the rat-race of sat at a desk for 8 1/2 hrs a day............surely?

I like my job, but it's people being in charge of your time, imagine how it would feel to come and go as you please! heaven.

Where was i? oh yeah!

Monday 26th

After our horrific nights kip, was like death all day at my desk, but Andy had done the deed and his good mood was contagious from to.time and onwards, can't remember what i did at work in the day, Fiona (Chris's nurse) phoned and said I'd to go over Tuesday to get tooth seen to..........boo! quite ironic the drugs had kicked in and it had stopped aching, but Chris was panicking it'd flare up again (while i was in labour or something).
Late to bed as i could lie-in the next day......yippee!

Tuesday 27th

Up at 6.30am, to natter to the boy, again at 9am to txt in sick, then again at 10.30am...for real.
Vacced living room, sided clean washing, had breakfast, called at the Mother's at dropped off Jim 90 golf balls.
Hit the M62, was 10 mins late by the time i arrived in Wilmslow, we chatted, he extracted, stopped the bleeding, wiped the blood from my mouth, we waved goodbye and i was home by 4. Bathed, ya di ya.......decided we needed a new living room carpet, phoned Alan who said he was thinking of putting up the rent, now the "drive" is finished, Grrrr! i don't even have a car anymore to park in the fooking thing, i'll buy my own carpet you c*nt! Deep breaths.
T.time, Andy went to the Gym, fish for tea, i was pulling the curtains and spotted a howge barn owl in the tree, was v.excited and yelled for Andy, he went out with the camera......reight do, couldn't wait to tell Marlene. Helen phoned saying she was bored of waiting for baby to arrive......funny! chatted away for a good hour, Andy chelping in "we're not naming our child Annabelle as Bella is too much like Bell end" said goodnight to Ollie, up the stairs and the marathon Shameless finale.....v.poor, asleep before midnight.

Wednesday 28th

Put in 1/2 day at work (it's enough for me), had a very stressful time, my mind is really busy tying up loose ends and i seem to be meeting myself coming backwards. Parked in town and opened up a new bank account, that's more convenient, it took for fooking ever, caught car wing mirror coming out of multi-story, that's only prang no.10 in as many months.......thank the lord they've taken if off me, before i wrote it off, never had any luck with black cars.....worse so since i turned into babybrain!

Home to a letter from Sky plus, saying if we don't get a phone line put in upstairs they'll charge us an extra £26 a month, oh lordy lord, why didn't sky engineer who installed the box tell us this? more stress!!
Andy home at 5.30pm, we wolfed down soup and bacon butties, with cream cakes for baby, quick change and off to DDH for our parent craft/antenatal classes....tee hee! how funny? Andy begrudging paid the £3 parking, then asked how much it would cost him to park when i was in labour, or would we get a special dispensation?
Anyhew, the class was very informative, glad we went.......2 hours of labour talk, to introduce ourselves we had to say what we did and didn't like about us/our partner being pregnant..........Andy was quite the comedian, making people chortle.
The class ended with the stork walk, all fine until we passed the deliver suite with bloody footprints all over the floor, after passing 10 or so midwives/staff sitting round drinking tea and reading Take a break!
Said Au revoir till next week to our 26 new best friends, sidestepping the hippy couple who's favourite thing about being pregnant was "when their baby danced to the same music they both liked...........okay then".
Home for 9.40pm, straight to bed after listening to Sar's message about being out at that time of night....tee hee!
DHW's and asleep before midnight.

Thursday 1st

White rabbit, white rabbits...Oh my god, 1st thought of the day...........I'm having a baby next month.
Work was fine, handed my car back........and was given a nippy silver golf for my last day.
All much of a nowtness at work, only me and Dave in.........long day! spent most of it emailing/txting, Matt, Ruth,Suggy, Sarah, Rach, Kay....couldn't keep up, never been so popular... Got Andy a new tool box from work, for his new job.....hahhhaaa!
Went to Morrison's at lunch, to save us a job last night...home for 6pm, after saying farewell to David who's gone skiing, bit weird your boss trying to hug you.

He was full of it last night, having broken up for a few weeks sabbatical....he does bloody right, a full evening of domesticity ensued, tea, baths, mopping, unpacking shopping, wash on, blah blah..........no sign of Ollie owl :o( chops for tea, i ironed his shirt for the sportsman's dinner tonight.
Bed at 9pm, bonkers and Benidorm.............so so sleepy, left him watching the darts when i dropped off.

Friday 2nd

Andy had his hours lie-in then was up and off to work with Jim, he was whistling away (don't know whether this was down to relief leaving his last job, or the early morning nookie).

Last day at my workplace, brought the Golf back, thought it would be a quiet one, twas not to be, have been inundated with txts, inter flora, emails, chocs and cards.........eeh i wish I'd finished all my Xmas chocolates now!
Went to buy a gym ball in my dinner hour and got a final parking ticket coz i was on double yellows....serve me right, might contest it and say i went into labour!
Txt Suggy as my gum is really sore and it's keeping me from my shuteye and favourite hobby of scoffing anything i can lay my hands on........Rhian phoned back to say, go back to see Chris or my GP (Marlo fetching me at 4pm and we're off to the quacks for some antibiotics).
More dramas..Steven told me Kay has booted husband out for cheating, fooking ell, they're all at it!!!
Andy phoned at lunch, i got a bit tearful, then realised it was being stoopid......he'd never!
He was having a swell time, with my Father doing a house clearance and laying a bit of floor covering.......(wonder if he shared his pack-up with my Dad?).
Phone going again like billio, Dean........do i want to go to the pub tonight, oh call me boring but that's the last thing i feel like doing!!!

Got in touch with Kay, she's coming round next week as I'm stranded indoors without vehicle....mind you lots of events on the calender.
Night in tonight as he's off to the Sportsman's dinner, tomorrow it's Auntie Pauline's 60th.....wtf?
Sunday Steven is taking us to Brid, lots of baby stuff on next week.........scan on Tues, more parent craft,then our health visitor is coming to check out our home (she looks so much like Andy's Mum it's uncanny........oh that's right it is her).

So quite a full week, to say I'm meant to be on wind down.
Roll on Monday when i can put my feet up.........note to self, resist trips to B&Q for paint to start decorating kitchen.

See you folks.
xxx

Don't abandon us Karen

2007-02-26T14:27:00.000Z

Karen, you have to carrying on blogging when you're at home. Get yourself to the library or even better get yourself a computer and get blogging at home - it will while away those precious minutes between feeding and wiping baby's shitty backside.

You can't abandon the blog!!

It's a long one, but it may well be my last.

2007-02-21T12:56:00.000Z

Busy.

Traumas and stuff going off everyday, they say a change is as good as a rest, but i quite like nowtness, t.v watching and serenity.

Grr!

Monday 19th

Dragged myself to work as it was payday.........Andy at home poorly!!?! i cheekily duped Dave into paying me holidays I'd accrued this year, of course I'm not off sick 2 days a week and constantly absent from my desk.
He didn't seem to mind, reight do, it's better in my pocket than works.
Uneventful day at the office, end of play i had to fetch Paul from Alba tyres he'd taken the Golf in for an MOT, 3 different young mechanics came to ask if i was being seen to............erm No I'm just collecting someone, said far too cockily as Jo the owner pointed out my flat as a pancake Front passenger side tyre with a huge fooking screw in it.....Doh!

He pumped it up, i returned home to housewife Andy who'd done the list of jobs left for him, like only a man could, sparkling bath on the inside, edges still grimy as I'd not told him to move shampoo bottles etc........tee hee!
Nice evening, roast chicken, cut Andy's hair and we watched that Catherine Tate thing which made me cry, asleep at 11pm.

Tuesday 20th

Woke with a throbbing tooth....oh me! 1st job of the day was to get tyre fixed, sat in Alba till 10am, txt Suggy, he rang me and wanted me to go in Weds......in case it kept me awake, told him Friday would be better as needed in the office Weds and Andy could go with me Friday.

The day just went down hill from there, back to work, while out on errands, thought I'd park up on double yellows and pay my wage in, got moved on by spawn of the devil traffic warden and in my haste promptly reversed into a lamppost, no damage to car but really cracked my head..............ouch!
Found a space in multi-storey, awaiting the lift, some smack head was jeering " by eck, it looks like some one's fit to drop".......raced and paid wage in, not feeling at all guilty about extra holiday pay.
Back in lift past druggie "are you having twins?".

Once back at my desk, treat unborn child to 2 paracetamol for toothache/headache.
Felt better by t.time, got home to steaming pile of diarrhoea one of the cats had left on the new rug in the kitchen, Andy was in the shower oblivious......didn't rollock him as he'd had a bad day and was moggy as fook....really bad :o(

Spuggy txt to see if i wanted to play out, but Steven was coming for his tea......quickly consoled Andy and nipped in the bath, made a feast for the boys and me....chilli, rice, tex mex starters, soup....Andy managed to "slide" down a vanilla (his words) before John picked him up for the rugby.
Steven and i acted the goat till 9pm, cut his hair also......he left, Andy returned early as Cleck were being thrashed. Still moggy, read the papers and bed for Shameless.

Wednesday 21st

Had a rubbish nights sleep......5 hours tops! Andy was fretting and tossing and turning, every time he woke me up, i needed to wee........it was rubbish!!, work was fine, only moi & David in....our travelling salesmen returned late on, my legs had gone to sleep, by mid afternoon i was fading fast, yawning, couldn't get comfy, David let me leave 1/2hr early which was better than nowt...had a poor night, AP was too sleepy to go to the gym, so we had tea and retired to bed very early, both desperate for shut-eye.
I even sky plussed DHW's as was too sleepy to stay awake till 10pm.
On the plus side, he'd cheered up and so had i once i was under the duvet.......funny that!

Thursday 22nd

Awoke briefly at 6.30am to see him off, then fell back into a happy slumber, alarm going off at 10am........I'd only been in bed 13 1/2hrs....that's not much! oops. At the midwife for 10.30am, she couldn't tell whether the baby was still breech or not, but they'll check at the antenatal in 2 weeks, otherwise everything fine, saw Gill and chatted for 5 Mins, they're back from Cyprus and have had a lovely time, she still hinted about her retiring, I'm guessing she wants to look after baby and is hinting i go back to work.............Mwahhhh!

Back to work with an hour to kill till lunchtime, did some hoisting of samples, Dunlop golf balls, picnic rugs, camping chairs, holdalls, all things i need really badly.
Went to Readies at lunch for more shite i didn't need (but i have a 10% off voucher), baking trays, slippers, facecloths, Winnie the pooh, new top....where will it all end?
Quite sleepy in the afternoon after jocker lunch!! made it right through till 5pm.
Thursday evening i arrived home full of the joys of Spring as after all, things are quite good at the mo.......fooking marvellous to be truthful!
It was weekend eve and i had the Friday off for the dentist, decided to treat him to tea.......somewhere cheap like Spooners, but never the less it was out, i would save me cooking and him washing up and there was bound to be people we knew we could chat to!

Oh me, what i did not expect to find was a sad as can be boyfriend laying on the couch un-showered and at the end of his tether job wise and threatening to chuck in the towel, after lengthy chats, tearful hugs, a quick tot up of our outgoing expenditure.......he THEN tells me what he has in the bank, told him in no uncertain terms to give his notice Monday a.m..........the boy is a secret millionaire.
Both washed and changed and stuffing our faces with steak, panini, chips etc in OB's by 7.30pm, decided he needed beer, he only managed one pint of Fosters, was still panicking about future career, what they'll say at work, was he doing the right thing...............eek something tells me we're in for a long weekend!!!?!
Home after a brief chat with Spug and Jenna.....Bonkers, Benidorm and a fit less nights sleep, him fretting and me writhing round in agony with toothache.

Friday 23rd

Up at 10am, took more aspirin.......Andy drove to my private dentist in Wilmslow, arrived bang on time, the upshot was.......Chris can't redo the root canal as he doesn't have the equipment, i can A. pay his mate £350, B. Chris can pull it after the baby arrives or sooner if the Amoxicillin he's given me don't work. Oh me!
Off to a nice cosy pub in Styal for lunch, i paid as Chris is a superstar and Andy doesn't carry cash like the queen, make no wonder he spends nowt.
Home for 3ish, i fell into bed....to sleep off the pain, Andy went off to see mates who might have a bit of work going and his Dad's to pick his parents brains as to what to do, also to tell him Mother we had a home visit booked for next week from health visitor who wasn't her..........(she was absolutely outraged as none of her colleagues are good enough to go near her Grandchild), i was absolutely outraged that they come and check where you live, the nosy fuckers...........what are they going to do, say your home isn't fit when you're due in 6 weeks? immediately set Meg on with a duster just in case.

Tescos' saw G&D, who invited us to Sunday dinner.....reight do, went to Morrison's to see what bogof's they had.......saw Jenna and Hemmy buying chilli ingredients.
We didn't need much, still it's always handy to have 2 nearby supermarkets instead of a social life.......tee hee!
Home, unpacked, bathed, him....fish butty and Rugby on Sky in the bedroom, moi....soup, Lost and DHW's in the lounge, both of us Charlotte church and bed in the adverts..........emotionally drained!!

Saturday 24th

Toothache still there, took Penicillin, Aspirin and iron tablets for breakfast and rattled all the way to the swimming baths at 20 past fooking 9 (how early), he was off looking for part time labouring jobs and getting his CV up to date........(put your feet up for the summer, who needs to work?). Home, bath, washing, breakfasts and dropped him at Whitcliffe at 1.30pm for the rugby...once i'd done all the laundry had an hours snooze, up just in time to get ready and fetch RMS at 4.30pm prompt for our OAP......fish supper.
Stayed 1/2hr and chatted to Judy............then we sped to the Mermaid and ate like Kings..........Mmm it was well nice and deffo on a par with Harry Ramsden's.
We sat in the spazzy corner near the disabled entrance, i know I'm like a Telly Tubby but pleeease i can still fit through normal sized doors.

Called at the club on the way home, ended up plonked there till after 9pm, Andy was well on his way.....oh dear! Sat with Nicola (Carl was telling me not to give his wife any ideas babywise...hee hee), Deano, Katy F..briefly, then Gill and Dave came and plonked, Andy went back to the lads and me and Matt chatted to his folks till late on, then dropped them at the Chinese as they hadn't had their tea.
Said bye to Andy leaving him to believe i'd gone home, he was wasted and "out wi lads", moi and Matt plonked with the wags in Spoons.......all the rugby boys followed on after, after 1hr, rescued AP from the liquor and Matt W, who wanted his old comrade back to gan up to the regal and pull some birds......grrr!
We dropped Matt and his folks, drove home very carefully so he didn't spew in the car.

Home, he was unconscious in 2 mins flat, not seen him that drunk in years, i read till midnight and was sparko soon after.

Sunday 25th

Up at 8.20am........WTF, left him to sleep, i pottered.......coffees, filled bird feeders, watered plants, read the Spen Guardian, he surfaced at 10ish and we went walking round Crow's nest park, (blow the cobwebs off), more in depth job chats... :o(

Ruth and mark not home, so called at the Mother's.......chatted to M&J, Jim has some work for Andy, so he felt a bit lighter when we got back home.
I spent a good 2 hours pampering, while he kipped off his hangover.......off to the in-laws for Sunday lunch, very pleasant.
3 courses made me very sleepy, nice chats, they're good decent people.
They said they'd support no.1 son in whatever he decided to do, he was still fretting, he's a worrier.......poor boy.
Home for 7pm, watched a DVD, then up to bed after we'd compiled his notice on paper.

Horrid nights sleep, him tossing and turning, like he was doing a parachute jump the next day and my with my fooking toothache...........looks like I'm schlecking back to Wilmslow this week for it yanking out :o( Boo!

What a week, so the upshot is, i have 4 days left to work and so does Andy!!!?
Still better to have him a happy bunny at home, than his job grinding him down so much, he comes in on a t.time and starts knocking me around.

But more importantly if i leave on Friday! What will become of the blog?

The last 7 days

2007-02-19T15:51:00.000Z

I'm embarrassed to blog my poor news, I've turned into a house bound, lazy recluse styleee lard arse!
Which is always good...........i find!

Here it is anyway:

Monday 12th

Andy went to the gym with his brother, i should imagine i did something wild like, had a bath, fed cats and put the tea on.....bed at 9pm for Trial and Retribution.

Tuesday 13th

Came to work, waddled home for 6pm, bath, tea on, cats in, Matt phoned, bed at 9pm.......there's a pattern forming.

Wednesday 14th

Exchanged gifts and cards with AP....awww! worked, had bundles of energy and could feel a spending spree/nesting session coming on.
David needed me to do some shopping for him, so basically shopped all morning.........nipping in shops and getting bits for me on the way, a few bits from baby gap, nice M&S grub, then stormed round TKmaxx in my lunch hour and re-did the whole kitchen colour scheme... purchasing, teal draining rack, enamel pans, mugs, storage canisters, vase, rugs, utensils, tea towels...........you get the gist?
Treat myself to matching teal kettle/toaster combo from Next and left work early for the "drs" with my new purchases.. needed to get then installed and bleach entire kitchen before doing so.

Andy came home mid blitz, scratching his head, declaring me insane and giving me £80 towards......yippee!

Off he went running leaving me to cook his steak as it was Valentine's day.......who's pregnant?

So by the time i'd finished in the scullery, vacced living room, done 3 wash loads and made tea and tomorrows packup......my back was crippled with pain, couldn't get off the sofa.....hands and feet had swollen up like the elephant man...........but look at my nice new clean kitchen!!!

Crept up to bed on my hands and knees, Happy Valentine's!!

Thursday 15th

Could i move, could i buggery?...txt Leigh, then slept till 11am..........didn't strike a bat all day, fetched milk and paper, watched Lost on Sky +........admired new belongings in kitchen and spent the whole day on go slow......seriously, i even went into the nursery to check on 76 babygros and sat in rocking chair for 1/2 just pondering....insane or what?!

One very sad AP came home at 5.30pm he'd had all his overtime taken off in tax, it literally wasn't worth him working Friday and Saturday and he'd already agreed to do extra the 2 days after as well, before he'd opened his wage-slip.........poor boy!
There was no consoling him, he was moggy all night........tea, t.v, the usual and Bedfordshire at 10pm, i read through Bonkers....isn't it shite?

Friday 16th

Worked until 3.30pm, was so tired and achy...ooh it wa awful.......went home early, nearly in tears, he was asleep on the couch, woke him to moan, had a bath and a sleep then when we'd both cheered up, nipped to tesco's.....didn't need very much, so marched him round.. in and out in 1/2 hr..........look at us go.
Made fish for tea and made plans to go to the seaside on Sunday, saving me making a roast and utilising last dregs of company fuel before i break up.

Bed quite early, seriously I'm worried about the pair of us, all we do is sit around watching the box, noshing and sleeping and we're really happy doing it, i think we're just catching up on our sleep before the next few years of broken nights kip........tee hee!

Anyhew we were just nodding off, when that young scally and his mates at No 1, were being a bit vocal.......but, he's a teenager, it was only 11.20pm, there was no music/party involved, just a bit of rowdiness......next thing mad Maxine is hammering on their door, screaming like a banshee "i'll call the bloody police, you set of Morans".....she was making more noise than all them put together, she's a fooking lunatic.
Me and Andy laughed, peeked through the curtains and went to sleep anyway leaving them fratching like the cast of Shameless!

Saturday 17th

As Andy was at work, i tend to nod back off when he leaves at 6.30am, missed length swimming by the time i woke properly, so was pottering round in my jama's when he returned at 11am. Had a very dull day, once i'd dropped him at the rugby...........looked at Radley bags in the mill village, then Batley Tesco's for a joint (change of plan about our Sunday jaunt to Brid, i was being a lazy arse about the 4 hr round trip and moaning about the weather.. just at the same time, John phoned with free tickets for the Huddersfield/Hull rugby....perfect), couldn't decide on what meat to buy, settled for a leg of lamb, a chicken and a nice piece of brisket.....bought lots of bags of sweets also for "Hot Fuzz" at the flicks that night.

Nipped in the parents bungalow homeward, Dad was nattering for us to go to Stuart's retirement do that night.......No we have plans, didn't stay long........wanted to get home to warm serene ambiance, friendly felines and maybe an hours kip before the pictures if truth be told.
Had a bath, then Andy phoned wanting a lift straight away.......moggy again after their thrashing again at rugby......oops!
Had a healthy tea, sushi, jacket spud and cottage cheese..........then, he's smirking saying "don't you fancy going to the party tonight and the flicks next week?" had to sit on him, to find out how on earth he knew about Stuart's retirement..........(believe you me, he soon succumbed), turned out mad Father had phoned his mobile behind my back........WTF?

Anyhow we had a vote, the party won, so we watched sky sports........left at 8pm, and sat in the Drub working men's smokey club for 2 1/2hrs.......it wa'alright, Dad was buying rounds as fast as lightening (there's only so many cans of tango one can consume in an evening), My brothers were getting merry, heckling the speeches and even singing karaoke..........taxi! lucky for moi...Stella boy at the side of me had had a long day, so we were both home and in bed for 11pm.....heaven :o)
we were going to go t'regal and for a sloppies but changed our mind at the very last minute.

Sunday 18th

Up at 9.20am (call that a lie-in?) he persuaded me to go for a walk before breakfast, WTF? so there we are shlecking round Oakwell hall sporting our bed hair, moi in tracksuit and Clarkes sensible shoes, did feel SO much better for it.........he was right......grrr!
Home for 11am, made full mashing English breakfast with steaming mugs of tea in p,j's.........we were both asleep on the sofa's by 1pm............oops!
Off he toddled to rugby at 2pm, i dragged myself up to the boudoir and tinted my hair, then put the dinner on..........wifey wife!

Read the Sunday papers, had a shower, another load of washing all on go slow you understand!
We ate at 7pm, he washed up, more Sky sports........bed at 9pm, asleep for 11pm.....snug as a bug in a rug.

Monday Monday again today, AP is off , he decided to tell me why in -depth at 6.30am today, then 7am, he phoned his work....chat chat chat, 8.20am, he's jabbering away again..........i SO need my sleep, still..he's cleaning the bathroom, putting the curtain rail up properly, a few other man jobs and sorting the chicken out for tea.....he's not a bad egg.

As boys go......but girls are far better, when our daughter arrives, he and Luther will be out numbered 2-1.

Teehee!

Much better

2007-02-12T12:08:00.000Z

This weekend i have been more interesting, I'm not saying wild like the olden days, just a tad more substance to the activities i have partaken in................i think!

Tuesday 6th

I left you after my last bleating last Tuesday, got home and AP was ligged on sofa saying i had mail from the hospital........boo! had been called for a glucose tolerance test on Thursda, he called his Mum to ask her why! (me thinks this calls for another day off work), an evening of nowtness and up to bed for Shameless!

Wednesday 7th

Can't remember what the fook happened, must have been good.....bought some bedding plants to re-pot all window boxes and tubs (as you do in Feb when snow is on the horizon), Andy went running at night to Dewsbury Moor (what a mental), he came back dripping with sweat.......steak and salad for tea, bed for DHW's.

Thursday 8th

Was up early doors, Mum had said she'd come to the hospital with me to relieve the boredom, collected her and we drove to DDH, parked up and made our way to Foetal assessment, I knew the secretary from 10 years ago, she's married to Spig from the Fountain days and their little boy Thomas is now nearly 11.......cripes, she was chatting away asking how i was and saying they'd lost my notes..........great!
Sat on the bed for 10 mins or so, Janet midwife hadn't filled in my hand held notes properly so they didn't even know if i'd had my full bloods taken on my last visit and they wouldn't take my word for it..............more sitting about, tic tic...
Eventually took a phial of blood, made me drink some sugary concoction, then sit in the waiting room for 2hrs, without walking around using up energy that would burn off any glucose.

More blood (from the same vein, the brutes), off home for 12, had lunch at Marlo's... was fooking famished after my 15hr fast..then home for 1ish....decided to put in the plants anyway, brought all tubs in the kitchen and spent a happy hour elbow deep in potting compost......it was fooking everywhere, but they look lovely and i was very pleased with my handy work.
Bath, p.j's and watched that documentary on 12 yr olds looking after Mum and Dad (who were blind), that i'd sky+'d, v.sad made me feel nice and moggy, had an hours kip then went to the hairdressers..........snow coming down thick and fast by now.
Home for 6ish, Andy was out the shower and too tired to go to the supermarket.......yippee, p.j's back on, tea, pottering and bed for Bonkers and Benidorm, have sacked off Skins........down to it being shit!

Friday 9th

Andy was off to do his overtime at 6.30am (poor boy, mind you he could say no), i had an okay day at work, not long now till I'm outta here..............yeah!
Home to napping boy on the couch, more snow......loads of it, Ggrrreat.....flew to Tesco's. Shopping is the new going out...i have decided!!, bumped into loads of randoms for a catch up and am considering writing to Mr.Tesco and requesting a kettle on the coffee aisle for such occasions, home 1 1/2hrs later down to said chats with Caroline, Katie, a couple of Andy's workmates, Fielding, Karen Lamb from School, Michelle and uncle Tom Cobley and all.

Unpacked, after a scary emergency stop..........car didn't want to stop as i was pulling into our drive, i bathed while AP went to the fish shop..........Sooo healthy, then early to bed as he'd more overtime Saturday and I'm always up to doing some sleeping especially if it's for moral support.......tee hee!

Saturday 10th

Woke up smiling, had already given myself a freedom pass from swimming due to the snow blizzards, pulled the curtains around 10am and all the snow had GONE, washed away with the rain, boo! put fire/heating on downstairs, snook back under quilt with coffee and mag and hatched plan B, when Andy got back at 11am, decided to treat him to lunch, he took some persuading as the rugby was cancelled (he clearly intended lying horizontal in front of Sky Sports for the duration of the day), once showered he came round to the idea, so off we toddled to the Gray Ox for door wedge sarnies (prawn and crayfish for Moi, Sausage, mustard and onion for the boy) and chunky chips...........Mmmm, 1 pint of Fosters and a diet coke for the lady...£18.95 (it got me out of swimming).Dropped him at the club and i sped home to lady chores, cooking, baking, washing, ironing etc (after i'd retrieved my wheelie bin from the thieving cunts at No 1)........tumble dried my last load before fetching Sarah at 7.15pm, had a lovely evening with the girls, Ruth turned up in the end but Jo didn't.......Aldo's was a bit of a let down, my 3 starters were nice, but the pizza was shite.......Pino's an arrogant ignoramus and we really must break free and try the Greek next door, when we're strong enough!

We left a poor tip, to match the food, waved bye to Guy and Maria, then plonked in Spoons from 9.30-10.30pm, it was teeming with the club wags and cricket boys, brief chats all round, 2 x J20's, then i gave lifts to Sarah and Hayley, leaving Ruth, Spug, Beth and Tina with a thirsty Katy who'd just arrived.
Home not too late, (it'd been a long day)!!! crept in, fed cats, turned lights off, threw fag soiled clothes in linen bin, and stared agog at Sparko boyfriend, completely zonked out, all lights/t.v on, covered in crumbs from his late night snack............bless, he's SO rubbish at drinking these days.
I read till midnight and he still hadn't stirred!!??!

Sunday 11th

Couldn't face poorly boy and his re hydration sachets... so off to swim, it was fooking rammed, 100 rug rats and weekend Dad's (at least), did 45 mins of widths, home to check on the joint (leg of lamb, not reefer), bath, p.j's, fruit and cereal, then John and Claire called...........yippee, visitors! bit of footie on the t.v, coffees and chats, they departed...i cooked a chicken casserole to freeze and did the Sunday veg, then after the rugby had finished at 4.30pm, we went parent visiting: G&D's, they were also watching Sky sports, grilling Andy on his private pension top ups, chatting about their pending holiday to Cyprus on Wednesday and asking about ours/babies well being.

Next M&J's they were eating stew, watching Songs of praise, telling us about Marlene's line dancing weekend in Blackpool just gone, grilling Andy on the cancelled rugby, the cricket at 4am that day.......blah blah, gave Jim his hoisted tool box and birthday card and a box of stock for the church fayre and flew home for 6.30pm.
Not bad going even if i say so myself!!!

Put the Yorkshires in, made today's pack up, Sunday papers, grounded Maisie as she'd attacked a pigeon on Sat (Andy was gutted he missed it, but was chortling plenty when she came in the house with feathers in her whiskers). Ate our roast, the lamb was out of this world, it had been roasting for 7hrs though.............homemade chocolate cake, then sat round in a happy slumber, up to bed early.......i read, he watched something with Jeremy Clarkson in......all the while laughing like a hyena, followed by the Foyles War...WTF!?? i napped all the way through it, and still slept from 11pm-8.20am today with 3 wee breaks.

Well it's been a busy one.........i'm 31 weeks gone tomorrow, not as young as i used to be, anaemic and i could have gestational diabetes......for all you know!

Oooh but funniest thing in the world, Bugsy Bev who used to live at No.1 has somehow got wind i'm pregnant and accosted Spug, telling her to pass the message on "tell her to pay Alan the £140 eviction fee herself and she'll get a council house, just like that....once she's had the kid, that's what i did and you can buy them in 5 years"...........Jesus fucking Christ what a BOCKER!!!

Anaemia, water retention, colostrum and cystitis

2007-02-06T11:57:00.000Z

Hypochondriac's get in line!!!

Our unborn child is now a right little bruiser, it can be seen kung fu fighting from the outside, with out having to place your hand there to feel it, if I'm reading the daily Star for example, the paper actually moves if it's resting on my tummy, while the child is either:
1. Small dancing
2. Dancing with one shoulder in the air like it's father.

Lack of blog is due to being absent from work, so I've a few days news (if you can call it that).........let me cast my mind back.

Monday 29th

Came to work, the rest is a pregnancy memory blackout.

Tuesday 30th

Ditto

Wednesday 31st

Bought a chain for the bath plug as i can't touch my toes anymore, it was the highlight of the day and i harped on about it all night, posted Ethan and Freya's bday cards and presents, also went to get my waxing done, opted for Nicola's for the sole reason there are no stairs to climb...my lash tint didn't take (she didn't leave it on long enough, because her tea was ready).
She's SO shit, home for 6.30pm, tea....washer on....another evening in front of the fire, early to bed to watch t.v.........blah blah!

Thursday 1st

M&S in the lunch hour, purchased loads of scrummy food, Dad a bday card and AP a Valentine's card......after tea, Andy went to the club for a talk from John Hendry (not a one to one, there were 50 other folk there), i had a nice evening....having a bit of me time, had a chicken bhuna and a garlic naan (oops), pottered, read shit mags, bed for Bonkers (wtf?), Benidorm and skins...he was home after his 2 Stella, snoring soon afterwards!!!

Friday 2nd

Rose early, i'd received a letter from the quacks saying to phone as they'd got my blood tests results back from the hospital (Andy was chomping at the bit, told him i'd be anaemic and there was nothing to worry about as this was quite normal), i was right, but took the day off anyway as i felt rubbish, bad nights sleep and all my arms and hands were hurting.
Andy was gutted when i climbed back in bed as i stunk of curry and he cleary wanted shut of me for the day then he could lay about scratching his nads...........hahhaaa!
He was off to the gym by 10am, i returned to slumber....fooked after putting 4 consecutive days in at work, he was back at 1pm (having lunched with his Mum) i was still laid there like a stranded beached whale.
He was brandishing an envelope with £350 in his folks had given us for baby stuff (ace, we have everything we need, lets buy more cake with it!!??), he brought me coffee, then tilted the mattress and tipped me on the floor to get me up (well, not really but he may as well have).

Luther had his cystitis back, rang the vets and ummed and ahh'd whether to take him (he said he felt much better), had a lovely day off........picked up prescription for iron tablets, called at pet shop (Luth some herbal medicine and bird seeds), did the "Friday big shop", 4 loads of washing, ligged around vegging in the warm.....Andy toddled off to Rotherham to watch the 2nd team rugga buggars, i went to the parents and shared a Chinese with Steven..had a good old chinwag, not seen him this year.

Home for 9pm, watched t.v till 11pm. Andy was home soon after reeking of ale and slurring that all my mates had been at the rugby........doh!!

Saturday 3rd

My arms and hands were still really hurting, couldn't close my fists.........boo! went swimming and felt like i'd been in a car crash when i got home, quick brekkie, NO WASHING to do! yippee!!!!
Dropped AP at the rugby, shot home and ligged around all day, made some sweet and sour chicken and a chilli to freeze, vacced up and stuff, had an afternoon nap, then he wanted fetching at 5.30pm as there was a sponsors dinner on at the club "it was full of drunken tossers" quote!
Tea: hotdogs for him, salad for moi........You've been framed and Big burp, off to the flicks, (with our own pop and sweets and we are really tight and don't have a lot of spare cash)...... saw "Notes on a scandal" i loved it, he thought it was a bag of wank...home for 9.45pm, bit of t.v, i watched the end of Nottinghill, up to bed and the boy was snoring away!!!??!

Sunday 4th

Awake at 8.20am.......too early! he was up and the cricket was on, struth!!!! i went back to kip as soon as he'd left to watch Deano in some amateur football 1/4 finals, bacon butties at lunchtime, then we went for a walk........called in at Choices (they didn't have Little Miss Sunshine, so didn't get a DVD), called at Tesco's for a Sunday paper, saw G&D so chatted a while, they were also without car, must have been the lovely sunny weather.......enticing everyone out for a Sunday stroll.
Trudged home and took joint out of the oven, Sunday lunch at 6pm, with all the trimmings (he loves it, meat, bread and mineral water are his 3 vices), could be worse.......drugs, porn and hard liquor???!!!
More sky sports, then up the stairs for Trial and Retribution..........ace!

Monday 5th

Still achy, didn't dare tell Andy i was knocking.......he'd have been jealous and would have probably done the same, losing a days pay, plus he needed to hand his paternity leave request letter in that i'd compiled for him........seemingly he has to have worked there 6 mths 15 weeks before the baby is due to be entitled, so he might have to use his hols if he wants a fortnight off when the big day arrives....boo!

Slept till 11am, up and did 2 wash loads, then called for Steven at 1pm, who was treating me to lunch (he's such a Billy big shot, make no wonder he's brassic) he insisted we went to TGI Fridays...what a shit hole, expensive and over rated, i had a club sandwich and chips, shared a combo starter with him, his fajita main along with a coke, 1 beer and a fiver (rockafella) tip.........brought our midday snack to £43!!!
Andy nearly fainted when i told him, am so glad me and him are tight together..........
Dragged bro to Morrisons, on the shopping list were:
A new mop, bananas, soap powder, bread, cat food and athlete's foot cream for sporty boyfriend (life can't get any more wild).
Steven joined in the spending, flinging toothbrushes and 5 cans of deodorant in the trolley.
At the check-out, threw the nice Asian cashier lady with my 50p off wisp coupon, gave her 2x £20 to pay for my £37 bill, she entered £50 and gave me £12 odd change...........hahhhhaaa, i was out of there like a true thief!

Had a quick brew and a cream cake at the bungalow and made it home for 4pm, to 3 v.cold, partially frozen moggys.........bless! (not used to playing out for 4 hours in this weather).
They all shot upstairs under the heater after tea and laid there till Andy came home at 5.30pm, the worker returned and did a quick change into shorts and other gym attire, John picked him up at 5.35pm, i made fish for tea, watched the very last Vicar of Dibley, i'd sky+ on new years day, he was home for 7.30pm, 1 1/2 hours to catch up on the days gossip, before bed at 9pm for the 2part of T&R........make no wonder the days fly.

I reckon if my life was a pie chart.........it would be split into equal portions of
Eating, weeing and shopping, followed by washing, cooking and working in the same measure, but sleep being top of the bill, 1st and foremost.

Tee hee, some things never change!!!

Early nights and exercise

2007-01-29T10:38:00.000Z

Where do the fooking weekends go?

It's SO unfair, they pass by in a blink...

2 minutes ago i was sat here looking forward to my chish and fips, now 3 nights and 2 days later my bum is plonked firmly back at my desk and it's NOT FAIR!!!!

It's only since I've stopped going to the pub that they pass in a blur, you think it would be the other way round, memory loss due to the amber nectar taken into consideration.

Friday 26th

Was a wild one, people with social lives stop reading now, as the jealousy could nearly kill you.
AP had the day off, he was ligged on the bed as the sky + was playing up again, i fixed it, we changed the bedding together, i had a bath, then drove him to the fish shop in my clean p.j's while the washer was on with his work/gym stuff.
We ate our take-out........Mmmm! then watched t.v, i sewed Andy's jumper up, did another darks wash and some tumble drying, Big brother and bed at 10.30pm........i told you, you'd be green with envy. You shouldn't have read on.

Saturday 27th

Up and about at 9.20am, i went to the swimming baths after a quick coffee and putting a white wash on, Andy went to check his oil/tyre pressure and called at his Ma's for a bacon butty, i was back at 11.30am, feeling all invigorated......emptied washer, put towels/rugs wash on, bath, breakfast, dropped him at the rugby, then called to see Marlo who was full of cold, nipped to Next and bought some maternity jeans, that are falling down, boo! maybe i've dropped a dress size, since i've given up drinking and my only excess weight is my tummy!?? it's a thought!
Home at 4ish, fell into bed for a 1 1/2hr disco kip..........yeah!!! fetched Andy (who'd changed his mind about staying out and getting blathered wi lads!!??) at 6.30pm.......home, he had a bath, then Ruth and Mark came visiting! yippee! v.nice to see them, we just watched the box, ate snacks, drank tea....etc! i spent all evening trying to get the cats in, they left at 10ish..we had soup and sarnies, then to bed for reading and t.v and asleep before we turned into pumpkins at midnight.

Sunday 28th

Coffee, reading, t.v and t'uther up at 11am, light brekkie.......ligging around, called for the Mother at 1.30pm, Out came Jim with his coat on (who invited him?) tee hee! out afternoon itinerary was walking in the woods with a borrowed Labrador, while my Mother nattered to her Sister about life in the 50's......lovely afternoon, dropped parents at Garden house, moi, AP and Sandy the dog set off up to the deer park, wrapped in our winter togs, traipsing through the mud up past where we camped as Ventures in 1989 and back to the main road, passing Jack and Steve with a chain saw, chopping trees down (Andy's turn to be jealous). Up to the house, bit of baby talk and a brew, said our goodbyes, back on the M62, threw M&J out at home and back to our abode at 4pm for the footie, timing or what?

I bathed while the match was on, then checked the roast, did the veg and trimmings, AP made today's sarnies, washed up after dinner, read the Sunday papers, then we both did some sofa napping before BB finale, up to bed for Trial and Retribution as seems to be the norm now on a Sunday (ganning to bed at 9pm? what's all that about, long ago seem the days of Sunday shandies and the Horncastle £2.50 take-away pizza's).
Threw the cats out of bedroom at 11.30pm, so we could get our much needed shut eye to recover from "mad for it" weekend.

They say your life changes forever once you've had a child, noone mentions the run up.......tee hee!

11 weeks to go

2007-01-26T12:18:00.000Z

Am trying my best to sound chipper, but I'm bloody exhausted, the more sleep i get the more tired i seem to be.

Quick run down of weeks events, Monday evening...after I'd got the car back (yippee), horrid traffic on the way home, Andy was sat in the living room, with all his woollies on....yes it's cold, that's why i have a scolding hot bath as soon as i get through the door every night.
Unhealthy tea of cheeseburgers (i swear I've started eating more drek since he moved in), followed by 2 or 3 puddings.......joke!

T.V., bed and the usual evening rituals.

Tuesday 23th

RMS's birthday, happy Bday Matt (belatedly)....my day was a whirlwind of gritting my teeth through the inane behaviour of my work colleagues, shopping for tat i didn't need in my lunch hour (1 suede cat bed, 1 hot water bottle, 1 white pram suit, more bird seed), wonder if Next's taking have gone down now I've stopped buying my weekly going out tops and switched my addiction to shopping for baby gear and general household crap? was tired and shabby by close of play, I'd set off to work foul and my mood had worsened throughout the day.

By the time AP had got back from the gym at 7.30pm, i was ready to offload all my gripes on him.
Felt much better to soothing words like, only 1 more payday then your out of there, you know what they're like, leave earlier if you're tired....hahhhhhaaa, I'm such a moaning Minnie.

Chicken for tea, it was dry as a bone, i'd even wrapped it in bacon........(not allowed to do chasseur anymore coz of the weather) it was still foul, veg etc........more cake, for baby! bed at 9.20pm, SO COLD! we were fratching over the new water bottle, Shameless at 10pm, sparko for 11pm.

Wednesday 24th

Was overly exhausted so knocked work, heavenly day :o) (am kidding myself it will be like that the whole time i am on maternity leave....a few differences, i will have NO car, it will be Andy's money I'll be spending, then the small detail of the baby's arrival.....oops!). Anyhow my leisurely pamper me day that was yesterday.

Rose at 11am, side few washing bits, mopped kitchen floor, had a coffee, hot bubble bath, put all heating on full whack, dressed in nice clothes (i.e not work combats, or indoor p.j's) went to Kay's for lunch, she'd made fresh mushroom soup and some random open sandwiches, that had ham, lettuce, coleslaw, tomatoes, grapes and couscous on!!?), nattered for 2 hours, being Kay she told me all horror stories about the birth, she is nutty as a fruitcake........hopefully she won't be round all the time, telling me how to bring up my child (that's what Marlo is for), she went to get Wills at 3pm from School after telling me he was in the retard class for his maths, i left and called in Tesco's to get Ap his spring water and a French stick, bumped into Mother, who was buying random shit she didn't need (that's where i get it from), she told me she'd bought so many bottles of comfort, bleach, airfreshners etc that were on offer, she'd no room in the house for them and she's started storing them in the garage...........is this what I've to look forward to in my old age?

Anyhew, she made some comment about Andy and his bottled water and that's why he was so skinny (this is the boy, who's eaten a full box of Bakewell tarts and a box of Yorkie ice-creams this week and thinks nothing of having three puddings, to finish off his high in protein, low in anything that resembles a vegetable dinner). She called for a coffee, just as the heavens opened, stayed an hour, having her JPS and a piece of our M&S chocolate cake, washed down with nasty fine blend....yak, that aint real coffee!!

Off she toddled to put her veg on at 4pm, after 1 hr of moaning about Jim......i tinted my hair, then was happily watching Paul o' Grady when worker boy came in from his job, to change into jogging stuff, then off he went... running through puddles at high speed, to make damn sure every bit of his attire would be covered in mud on his return for slave girl here to wash said items....lazy pamper day over :o( after a quick shower.

Put the tea/washer on, followed by sandwich making, tumble drying, scrubbing the hearth with a stiff brush, wringing clothes through the mangle, making pastry with one hand and skinning a rabbit for tomorrows dinner with the other....oh!!!??! I'm mixing my life up with that of a 23 year old Marlene, the way she goes on.
All chores done and dusted, wet washing on airer, water bottle filled and Bedfordshire for DHW'S...Andy felt the baby kick for the 1st time..........v.cute moment!!
Both of us asleep before 11.30pm, after all the excitement.

Thursday 25th

At the midwife for 9.30am, another nice lie-in, i could get used to these!! everything fine and dandy, BP, heartbeat, size etc, only.........Baby Breech....if it doesn't shift it's bum by 36 weeks, they'll try and turn it at the hospital, or I'm in for a C-section............oh me!
Saw Miss.Hind, with Amber and Elliott, cutie.......then shot to work, was tired and moggy all day, it seems to be an eternity away until i break up.
Nice email from Matt until he called me Sad, Old and pregnant...........nice!
Ruth maile, worried about my whereabouts......I'm here, in body and part time at the most but never the less.
Think I've only seen Ruthrack once this year, not seen Steven at all........since boxing day, mind you i can count on one hand the friends i have seen since Xmas, yes i know i don't go to the pub anymore, but no fucker ever txt to see how we are...yes i know coz you're all reading the blog, i know your game....righto got that off my chest!
Bought the cats a new loo at dinnertime...don't ask!, fannied around at my desk all afternoon, and home for 6.10pm, AP fast asleep on the sofa, awoke him to go on our weekly jaunt, to the supermarket......how exciting? not!

He was dragging the wheelie bin up to the top, when he got accosted by the long haired yettie from NO 1. about the note I'd left on his BMW telling him to leave us more room to get out, tee hee! seemingly he was very apologetic, yes i should think so.............get some Vosene on your locks..........while your at it! you greaseball!!

Morrison's was all the joy i expected it to be, Andy insists on paying, think it's his male bravado...like he's caught the meat or something! anyhew it's fine with me, he unpacked as per, i bathed, then we had tea, soup for moi, chicken for him.......felt quite contented and chilled by the time BB came on at 9pm, watched Skins on E4....couldn't take the "cool guy" seriously knowing that a few years ago he was the geek in "About a Boy"....had a lovely nights sleep.

Friday 26th

Luth was miaowing at the door at 6.30am, wanting his wafer thin turkey, he'd obviously realised the time, Andy...no overtime, was having a much needed lie-in.
Like the cat cared!!!
Friday...that'd be today I'm quite chipper, the baby hasn't stopped dancing since approx 7am, lazy day...both Paul and Leigh out, David is being really nice and compassionate.
SO glad it's the weekend, have absolutely NO plans, other than fish and chips for tea.........swimming in the morning, then that's it! hoorah.........I'm sidestepping all the washing that's awaiting, cooking the joint etc.

Have emailed all the girls to try and arrange an eating night out at Aldo's, Sarah is probably home 9th-12th.........so can we pencil in Saturday 10th?
Let me know girlies, baby's hungry!

Meet the parents, swim, flicks and the AA

2007-01-22T15:10:00.000Z

Thursday 18th

Went and bought the babies car seat in my lunch hour on the company credit card, reight do, how good is David?
Put garden back together at t.time (retrieved BBQ and bird feeders and storm damaged furniture), unloaded car seat after Andy had got out of the shower, then off to Morrison's (bocker store, give me Tesco's any day, you only spend more in bigger supermarkets) Andy was £85 lighter by the time we got home at 7.30pm, ( i rest my case), and we were laden down with shopping bags full of meat and cornettos mainly.

Unpacked..him, bathed..me, fish for tea, bed by 10pm, nookie, t.v., magazines and asleep by 11.30pm, that's a late night for us, but he'd no overtime the next day, so we were living life by the seat of our pants.

Friday 19th.

Lovely day, Andy was wide awake and the cricket was on at 1/2 8, everyone at work in high spirits, as is the case when David isn't dieting, few last bits purchased for buffet, home early as i needed to take Paul for his Z4 (it had been at the garage getting a new tyre, as the other had a screw in), Andy was ligged on sofa, all cats running riot, i could have cried for him, he's so cute, he'd draped all the clothes that were in the washer over the airer, thinking he was helping, only he'd forgotten to use soap powder...........bless!
Once i'd bathed and Andy had vacced up, we set too making the running buffet for our parents........eek!!! major pressure, G&D arrived at 7.30pm.......my parents were late as Jim was watching Question of Sport, anyhew on the upside the food went down a treat, it was all very serene, power ballads playing on the stereo, the cats behaved and my Father never stopped talking.. for 3 hours, mainly about himself.......struth! poor Gill and Dave couldn't get a word in edge ways, the baby (1st grandchild) was never mentioned, just shite like LCD golf balls, paving slabs, painting and decorating, the church, that horse that won Cheltenham back in 2002......oh i was cringing, the Caffreys was making him more hyper, you'd think he never went out!

They dispersed at 1/2 10, Dad insisting they had a lift so he could talk some more at them, I'm burying my head in Andy's shoulder he's washing up while chuntering "appearing for 1 night only, Jim and his incredible one man show"..........oh jeez!! bed 11pm, jiggered, drained, glad it was all over, but full as a butchers pup........none the less.

Saturday 20th.

D.Turton txt at 10am, to say rugby pitch was waterlogged, so plan B was put into place, off to the Gym for him and the baths for me, he was back an hour later than me, so I'd filled feeders, changed bedding, showered etc and the full English breakfast complete with hash browns was well underway.
Next was lots of sport on the t.v, 2 rugby and 1 football match i recall.........don't mind me, I've 6 1/2 hours of washing, tumble drying of clothes, bedding, rugs, towels etc to keep me busy.........watch what you like......grrr!

Tea of soup and sandwiches, quick change and off to the flicks at the showcase cinemas Leeds........Smoking aces, okay but not brilliant.....we should have listened to Ruth.
Home not too late, stalling the car twice like a clumsy pregnant woman buffoon type driver.
Straight to bed as all this staying in never socialising with anyone takes it out of you you know.

Sunday 21st

The plan was to have a power breakfast (so as not to feel over full for our Sunday roast), nip to look in the Mama's and Papa's in Bramley, have an hours walk round Shibden park, home not too late so Andy could go meet his friends to watch the footie in the pub. (at my insistence, geddout from under me feet).
What actually happened............., SSMS, coffees, fresh fruit, toast jam and banana for AP, quick chat to RMS on the blower, put the lamb in at no.4, then 1/2 way to Bramley.... the STOP sign came on the dash, saying we'd to contact the Citroen dealer, ooh fook, decided to risk it home.
Called Citroen assist, they sent nice AA man, who said engine was 122%, it was too dangerous to drive and he'd tow us to the garage, i volunteered Andy to steer my car while i sat in the breakdown truck chatting to nice man.
We were home with 4 mins to spare, he was in the shower like Jack Flash, John picked him up, i phoned my boss and asked him how i should get to work today, making it quite clear i wouldn't be getting on any bus, he said to come in late and make my own way in, as he'd no one spare to fetch me, plus being Jewish shelling out £20 on a joe baxi was out of the question.

I intended to watch the Devil wears Prada on DVD while he was at the pub, but by the time I'd tidied round, phoned Mum for a lift this morning, prepared roasties and all the veg, bathed, made today's sarnies, he was back.......a bit fresh, but happy as Larry trying to get Maisie (who he calls bulldog, due to the excess weight she's put on in the last year, she is stocky as fook.....bless her) to break dance.
Sunday roast was outstanding, (the lamb having been in for 6 1/2hrs), he washed up, then asked me if i wanted some pudding, showed me what he was having....a Mr.Kipling bake well tart with ice cream topped with revels in the same dish......i passed, we put the DVD on until it went a bit fuzzy 1/2 way through, so up to bed to watch the 2nd half followed by Trial and Retribution...very good and can't wait for the conclusion tonight, then laid chatting a while as i could have a lie-in today yippee!

Monday 22nd

Andy didn't want to go to work at 6.30am today, he felt a bit sick........off you go, you lazy article, that's £100 for baby, what i actually said was he'd feel much better once he got there, in my best Gill P molly coddling voice.
Me and the moggies went back to sleep till 9.30am, quick phone call to the garage, Mum came to pick me up at 10am, so I've heard all about Steven moving back today, Ruth's pancakes, Auntie Margaret's operation, Martyn's washer, the dolls house.....etc etc all before my 1st cup of coffee.
Spent all morning blogging, then David unplugged my computer to change 4 gang for a 6 gang adapter so he could plug the heater in, so i lost the entire master piece....grrr!
But on the upside, Andy's felling much better, they've put a new sensor in the car, it's fixed, I've been to fetch it, called at M&S for Dave and Morrison's and the bank, am blogging again, had an email from Clare who lives in Germany who i used to work with so I'm going to reply to her and Matthew.
Then it'll be home time nearly, no plans for this evening........ :o) heaven!!! so that's my news, not as dull as usual, but relying on the car to break down and your father to show you up is a bit of a poor do, if that's all the gossip you have.........cest la vie.

Midweek wine (that's a moan, not the bottled type that gets you pissed).

2007-01-17T12:22:00.000Z

There's nothing wrong with being boring.....i have decided!

Everything is back to normal at work as the show has finished, we did very well, sold a lot of drek and some new stock too, all money in the bank.......Leigh commented that he hadn't seen David that happy in 5 years.

It's blinking cold in the office though, i had a sneezing fit at 2am today and hope to god I'm not getting last weeks cold back.

This week has been tame, busy on the shopping and domestic front but otherwise quite uneventful...but then it's only Wednesday, anything could happen.

Monday lunchtime, Morrison's for bananas and brown t.cakes, then the Crown point, i want a cream coloured changing mat and can't find one...boo! nipped to get his lordship more navy poloshirts....£2.50 Primark...glad I'm not wearing them!, I'd forgotten Andy's bank card as he said he'd buy the £80 baby monitors, so i put that job off for another day.
Monday evening, bid jack shit again...Andy at the gym, i bathed, made pork chops for tea (i wonder how much protein the boy actually consumes in 1 week?), i had pie (for baby), then made a howge mistake of having jam Roley poly and custard.........the double pastry helping properly did me in, i was popping Rennie's like nobodies business and moaning like an OAP till v.late in bed, While AP was trying to watch the conclusion of trial and retribution.

Tuesday was a nice day, David caught me looking on the Internet at baby gear and instead of bollocking me, offered to buy us the car seat (how kind is my boss??), Went spending in the lunch hour, v shaped cushion, changing bag, blanket for car seat, sun parasol for pram and some kind of harness thing for Andy to put child on his back while he plays cricket in the summer.......also purchased the monitors on his card and some other random bits, like bird seeds and a scrubbing brush (as he's been using the nail brush to clean his rugby boots).....grrr!
Kay txt to invite me over to lunch (accepted as mates are thin on the ground at present, nobody bothers with me now I'm dull....sob sob!!), Hells emailed in the afternoon to say she's been spurned by some Spaniard bird she fancied and she'll ring one night this week (I'll phone her tonight as she'll forget).

Was exhausted last night, home for 6pm (having put 2 full days in at work) 40 mins in the bath, Andy hadn't gone running coz of the rain, left him sorting the cats out.......by the time I'd done a midweek wash, tumble dried the fooker, made tea (he didn't want the chicken, coz of wind and could he have steak?) what is it a cafe? made today's packup and Andy had washed up it was 8.30pm when i sat down, was siding clothes from airer at 9.50pm, donning on the wet stuff and trying to get under the duvet before Shameless started, I'm really struggling keeping up to all the washing etc and feel a failure as Marlo had 5 kids, & washed for 9 of us including when G&G Denham got old.
It will all be okay when i pack in work, only then I'll be fatter than ever..constantly exhausted and will be struggling to get out of bed............oh me!!

Anyhow Shameless was good, i used my new v shaped pillow to prop myself up like a cripple, Andy was farting and tormenting the cat, then both of us were making "urgh" sounds when my boobs started leaking (we do this every night now, it's like a ritual).......fast asleep at 11pm, till i awoke to sneeze and wee at 2am......6.30am, was up again to wee, then as AP was getting dressed he started to have a full conversation with me, as i was 1/2 awake, he's jabbering "could you get me some elastoplast's today"..........jeez!!!

10 minutes late for work today...........as is the norm, was so late yesterday i even saw Rach, leave work, we both start and finish at 9am, i was in Cleck instead of Leeds at the said hour................arrrrr! neigh bother!
Turned on computer and Gabe had sent me a mail to see whether we wanted Ethan's old cot..........bless, not seen them since Dawn got ill, but hopefully will be able to catch up soon, now her Chemo/Radio is all going well.......he sounded in quite high spirits, can't believe Ethan's 4 next month, where does time go?

As usual I've managed to drone on inanely, brushing aside the fact i had nothing to say, I'll sign off now, need to go to M&S to get some nice grub, having the parents round on Friday night......eek! I hope to god 1. Jim's not pissed, 2. the cats don't jump on the buffet and 3. i don't poison the in-laws.........I'm going to do salmon!

Other weekends plans, after Friday evening is over and done with (we won't need to invite them again before the birth), i intend to take it easy..........I'm so tired! i do need to mend the patio heater though, the top blew off in last weeks winds, instead of retrieving the nuts and bolts and reassembling it, Andy put a bin-liner over the top...........yeah! that'll fix it!!??!

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, as i really want to do something that'll make the weekend worth while, but I'm so exhausted...once I've done all chores, the big shop, swam, been to the flicks and made a Sunday roast....I'm done in, it's Sunday night..........i feel I've wasted the last 2 days. But what else is there? baby Porray and i need the rest, getting pissed and smoking fags in town like the old days is out of the question, i guess I'd just like to see more of my mates, but it seems the tectonic plates have shifted and all our friends who are in the same boat as us, live further afield...........what's a girl to do???

I'll stop moaning now, ungrateful bitch that i am, i have everything i could ever have wished for and more and I'm still wining like a mule......tut tut!!!!

Don't bother reading this if you've anything better to do.......... like pick your nose

2007-01-15T10:56:00.000Z

It'll be a quick one, seen as I've done jack sheet!

In fact i might elaborate everything to make me sound more exciting!

Thursday night was obviously really wild, i was home early due to a power cut at work, i'd called at Mothers for a chinwag for an hour and used her phone to book our Ante natal classes while i remembered (2 x 2hr sessions, 1 on labour, 1 on feeding and bathing, very strange........i had it in my head they'd be 1 hr a week for a couple of months and i would meet loads of new mates who wouldn't find me dull as fook), middle brother was at the Mother's talking nonsense for a change!!!.........5.30pm.......erm Andy went for a run! wtf? he wouldn't wait for me to get changed and went without me, so i chatted to Sarah on the phone in my pyjamas for 1/2hr, we slagged Dan off as he is a Moron!!!
Fish for tea, i had seasonal veg, AP wanted chips with his, smothered the whole lot in ketchup and made butties.................he's so classy!

Early to bed and early to rise.................boring!!!!!!

Friday was going to try my best to put a full day in at work, the 1st since Monday.......only me and Leigh in as the others at the show still.
Nice day, we did a quiz in the morning, White rose at lunch, got Andy some work tops and baby a Winnie the pooh cord coat, which i didn't realise said Pooh in big letters across the back.........poor chav baby!

Andy phoned in the afternoon (he finishes at 11.30am, if he does overtime on a Friday), well he'd been to his Mother's for a sandwich and was phoning for no reason other than boredom (put the washer on you lazt fecker), he phoned a 2nd time, saying he'd lost Luther.......as he'd been out for 2hrs.......i left at 4.30pm (having nearly made it till t.time).............home for 5pm.........Luther was sat on the table looking very much alive and well..........struth!!!

Friday big shop at our local Tesco's......didn't need much this week, Andy paid.....good, (most of it was his meat anyhow)!
Home to unpack, bath...p.j's, cheese burgers and chips (healthy) for tea and did a wash to save me one job on Saturday, changed the bedding, which looked far too inviting and tragically we were both in bed well before 10pm (wondering if the girls... Tina, Beth and co. would be out in town in their vest tops drinking voddy and lemonades).................same excuse as last week, Andy up at 6.30pm, moi! lazy fat fooker!!!!

Saturday i had a heavenly lie in till 11am, Andy was back from work and i was frantically trying to pull all the curtains back to make it look like i'd been up hours, it didn't wash........had one hour to come round and make coffees, more washing of oily work togs, sort cats, then dropped Andy at the rugby....and off to swim for me, it was rammed, managed 45 mins without drowning some bocker from a nearby estate, then called at Ruth's on the way home to collect nursery pictures and have a quick coffee (made by Reilley who lives there I'm sure of it). Didn't stay long they were enthralled in Malcolm in the middle and hangover cure butties!

Home for 2pm and spent the next 5hrs.....doing a further 3 wash loads and tumble drying it all, put sealant around bath and sink (bag yourself a bloke and still end up doing all the man jobs yourself), put up new nursery pictures, cleaned big mirror in living room, vacced all upstairs and threw away old cat baskets and put new ones out, all tidy and spick and span, snacked on pies all aft to keep my strength up, collected squiffy boyfriend from rugby club at 8pm, we had hotdogs and Pringles, him to soak up the Stella, moi because gypsy food is the way forward to more spare tyres!!!
Bed at 10pm.........oh me!

Sunday, didn't intend to strike a bat......until Andy decided we should go out and get some fresh air after breakfast (a brisk walk around Shibden park i thought) not...fooking shopping, i can do that in works time, not my weekends.........boo!
Went looking for baby monitors, changing mat, more crib bedding and a Radley changing bag, Birstall retail park, Batley Mill village and Argos, couldn't find anything we wanted, so came home empty handed!!!
Called at Ma's for a brew, Ruth there borrowing the washer, chatted for 1/2hr, then back to cosy abode, p.j's back on, checked on joint, put the Yorkshires and roasties in, read the papers............yippee! this is the life!

Football and afternoon sofa naps, ate our Sunday roast, used Grandma's old meat slicer, which was ace, made today's pack up with leftover beef, both bathed, we watched last weeks East is East (after we'd phoned Sky for the fooking pin number)??!!
We had a pirate copy of Dirty sanchez which would only work upstairs, so we went up to bed at 20 past 8, how bad is that?
I read till 10pm and was sparko, Don't know what time his lordship was up till, he was making meat sandwiches in the night and wriggling about in bed........the bloody fidgetter!!!

So it's Monday morning again, the weekend has passed in a flurry of well, you read it! in my defense I'm 27 weeks knocked up, am carrying more timber than i know what to do with, have only spent £3.50 all weekend, saying plenty cash for more pies and cakes.
I'd like to say once the baby is born I'll be back to my old party party self, but we all know that's not the case, this is my new persona for evermore.

A clean living, chubby checker with zero personality!
Mwahhahhaaaaaa!!!

Nothing to say

2007-01-11T13:05:00.000Z

Thursday already......it's amazing how the working weeks fly..especially when you're only putting in approx 3 1/2 days a week........hee hee!

Haven't done anything to write home about (for a change), Monday, had a nice day at work, went into town at lunch, called at building society and took out the interest i'd accrued last year and went on a spree......found some sale maternity bras in Boots, reight do.......they're Sooo attractive, bought two as they were a bargain.
Bumped into Jake and Kate with baby Joe, was nice to see them, had a right good old natter....Joe was 5 1/2 weeks early! cripes. so is only the size of a 2 week old baby.
Kate went into graphic detail about the labour, c section, bladder problems etc...blah blah! stood ages talking babies, who'd have though me and JC would be in the same boat, 12 years after splitting!!??
Monday evening was home at 6pm, Andy had been home and nicked off to the Gym with John, non-descript evening of Chicken, CBB........inane waffle and laking wi cats, Andy goes to bed before me and lies there bellowing "Megus" till she goes up onto the quilt then he can torment her..the boy's unhinged!!!
So to bed the pair of us at the usual hour, moi reading, him channel surfing!
I was straight out being a lazy lump, awoke for my obligatory 2.20am wee, he was still awake tossing and turning and wanting to chat, i asked him if it was wind keeping him awake (i.e 70 miles an hour weather in back garden), him: "yeah i think that chicken chasseur sauce was too rich for me"...........struth!
He's a liar anyhew as he's had it at Whitter's.
Next he gets up to the loo cursing loudly, knocks the clock off the wall.........swears.
Then once i am fully awake, he drifts off............Meg had obviously thought of something really important to tell us at 3.15am as she was scratting at the door, so all in all i was awake mebbe 4 hours in the night...............greeeeeeeatttttt!!!

Tuesday 9th

Was like a zombie at my desk, was really faint and dizzy through lack of shut eye, felt SO unwell, unlike AP who'd nicked off to work his 10 hour shift quite chipper on only 4 hours sleep.
David said " you better get yourself off home" i was out of here as fast as my Dawn French physique could carry me and slept soundly from 2.30-4.30.......yeahhhh!!
Was up and about and all energised when sleepy worker came home, had a nice night...made him steak and chips as a treat (£5 for 2 pieces of steak.....wtf?), i had chilli later on and made a sausage casserole for Weds. after i'd washed and dried a midweek wash........... What a boring fucker!
Early to bed to watch the new series of Shameless..........yippee do!!!!
Then could i sleep? could i fuck! Laid and laid then started coughing, really coughing could hardly breath, nearly in tears..........still awake at 4am after several trips out of boudoir for cough linctuses, halls mentholyptus, glasses of water, wees.......bag of shite!!!!!
Andy was off at 6.30am, couldn't even remember comforting me in the night and had slept soundly, i got up, fed cats, txt Leigh and went back to sleep till 11.00am.....no intention of venturing to work.

Had a nice day, vacced downstairs, AP phoned at 1pm, then as i was looking like a scruff bag in old joggers, went up t'Asda at the top of M606 (where noone would know me)........after i'd sneaked to Metcalfe's for pies.........yummy!
So did an intermittent shop, Benylin top of the list.......another 34 squid later..(he likes his meat!!!!) home to unpack shopping, pork pie and fruit salad, leisurely bathe with Xmas bath foam, then started book.........read 1/2 of it before lights out!!!
Another normal evening, feels like he's lived there forever!!! we like :o)

I made tea while he was at the Gym, i also had a 28 minute chat with RMS, Mother phoned too, not to see how i was, to ask me to tape Vicar of Dibley as hers was recording Bill.
Nights don't last long enough, as soon as tea is over it's seems to be bedtime, mind you Andy does go up at 9.30pm coz of Sky multiroom.
Joined him at 10pm, Desperate Housewives....my favorite, he was in the land of nod at 11pm, i read till midnight............then we both slept till morning! Praise the lord.

Back to it today, Ruth has emailed piccies of the house they have bid on and it's been accepted, she's v.excited.........it looks lovely.
I'm holding fort today as all staff at the Harrogate show, David has attacked my desk with a big hammer and taken some chunks out...........grrr!
They're looking for a Wej bird to replace me in 7 weeks (one with big jugs) how long she'll last is anyone's guess.
Andy just phoned, he's working all weekend again............Noooooo!, he's off for a run tonight and can i get him 3 new navy polo shirts for work! what wild lives we lead????!
So that's my lot, no news, no plans.........all nowtness! dull, dull, dull....( apart from tiny, ickle baby growing inside me which is the most exciting thing that has ever happened in both our lives).........brushing that aside!
Can't even think of anything i want to do, Andy suggested we go out on Sunday for some lunch, i thought "what a waste of money it'll taste nicer if i make it".........i am a fully fledged pyjama girl who wants to stay indoors in the warm at all times.
Can't wait to leave work..........now there's a happy thought!!!!

Freaky Friday

2007-01-08T12:51:00.000Z

Someone has secretly swapped lives with me, wait while i get my sticky mits on the culprit.

I've no idea who it is, only clue is she must have been a boring feck in her mid 40's and her favorite hobby was washing!!

Whoever it is who's now leading my life, has been out this weekend chain-smoking and drinking and having a blast, being really popular and funny and stuff! grrrr!

The weekend i have led............hang onto your seats folks.

Friday 5th
Bought a Radley purse in my lunch hour from Debenhams, which i swapped with old purse immediately so Andy couldn't say "what have you bought now" when i arrived home at t.time, i do spend at least £100 a week in my lunch hours which is slightly barmy, but i never go out anymore or buy fags.......most of it's on baby things or essentials from Morrison's...............well okay ...cake mainly.
Andy phoned me 4 times in the afternoon to ask important things like can he let Maisie out, he makes me laugh, i asked him to get his pine storage box from his old bedroom, then we could use it as a blanket box and wang the tin trunk, he phoned to say he'd taken the one from his parents bedroom as it was in better nick...........eek!
Anyhew home at 5.30pm, i was a tired bunny and insisted we did our "Friday big shop" straight away before i sat down, one hour later (due to AP chatting to his cousin, Aaron's Mum and other random's), we were home laden down with more meat than would feed 50 Vikings at an elaborate banquet.
He likes his meat..
He unpacked and sided, i bathed and put on p.j's, we had soup, French sticks, kettle chips and M&S Belgium chocolate biscuits (which i have realised he takes off me when I've had 8 and puts the tin away).
With it being Friday night and we need to make the most of our baby free days, we erm......read the Spenborough Guardian (ooh Rabbit, has got engaged to that barmaid our Steven shagged in Marlo's back garden), watched CBB, Andy went to bed at 9.30pm to watch t.v and i joined him at 10pm with my Woman's own...........how tragic? in his defence he'd overtime Saturday morning at 6.30am, my excuse....I'm a lazy fat fucker, with chaffing thighs and a pot belly any darts thrower would envy.

Saturday 6th

He was off early doors, i got up, nipped to loo, fed cats and turned all lights OFF.
Next time i looked at the clock it was 10.10am......reight do, no swimming as still streaming with cold!!! spent my entire Saturday washing and changing bed clothes, tumble drying works oily togs, Gym stuff, bedding, towels, the list was endless, also sorted new blanket box, emptied baby trunk and found new homes for all things child like hoisted over the years.
Dropped Andy at rugby at lunchtime, called to see Mother had a nice natter until Dad came in kitchen spouting shite and sounding like father Jack, left hastily, home quick sarnie, fetched Andy (they'd won...........5-0 against Selby) he'd brought me his filthy rugby kit home to wash..........yeah??!!!, watched You've been framed, then we went to the Showcase and saw "White Noise - the light" ...very good, we took our own sweets and water as it's 25p a bottle in Tesco's and £1.85 if you buy it there, the rip off merchants.
Home around 10ish, no Parkinson........lawks a mercy!
We went to bed at the same time, with reading matter and the sky remote respectively, even though i'd slept 4 hours longer than him the night before........lazy pregnant person.
Watched the box and chatted till 11.40pm, then straight to sleep like Dick and Liddy.

Sunday 7th

Awoke at 10.10am, John was picking him up at 10.30 to go watch Deano play footie, should have seen his face when he realised he'd only 20 mins to get his Sunday morning nookie in (it was like shagging Clark Kent).
I was shuffling around in dressing gown with beans spilt down the front (not really), when he got back at lunchtime (a certain persons fooking mutt had jumped all over him, caking his coat and jeans in mud...........for ME to wash).....deep breaths!!!, bacon and sausage butties and mugs of tea, footie on the box......put the joint in, made a chicken chasseur for tonight's tea and prepared 2 days veg and today's pack ups, Andy came in kitchen with his special key and unchained me from the kitchen sink so i could go upstairs and have a bath.

Had roast beef and Yorkshires at half 5ish, then spent the rest of the evening in a happy contented glow..watched "the pursuit of happyness" on pirate DVD.....(v.good, i cried and blamed it on my cold that was making my eyes water.....obviously). More footie, darts and other man sports on the tele (i was reading up on being 26 weeks pregnant and wondering if 76 babygros is enough for our new baby). Bed at 9pm (yes you heard me) for him (i stayed up till the 10), then up the stairs, where we chatted for 1/2 hour, then he sat bolt upright and announced he was off to make a meat sandwich and did i want one?.............i'll pass thanks).

Both sound asleep by midnight.

So that's my lot.
Hours spent in bed...36
Units of alcohol...0
Cigarettes smoked...0
Pounds spent... £26 (1/2 of shopping bill and pop at the flicks).
Wash loads...5
Times ventured out of the door...5
Txt or calls from friends and family...0
Hours dressed...6

Is this my life from here on in?
Tee hee.

A Woman's work is never done

2007-01-04T16:05:00.000Z

Feeling v.tired and shabby today, want my bed.

I can do housewife or i can do pen pusher/work shirker............but not both.

Haven't done anything of note this week.

Work's been heaven as David hasn't arrived back from Barbados..he's due in any moment though........boo!
Saying work's been heaven, what i really meant is getting the internet back after a 10 day break, also being nearer to the shops is bliss (healthy hobbies, shopping and surfing'net), plus routine is good, a proper bedtime after a full days work that's made you tired, keeps you in order.

Funny Andy being at home all the time......we like!
Still getting into a routine, trying to grasp that the food bill is now howge......washing can not be kept for just the weekend and the fact that i wear combats and jumpers does not mean the ironing pile is non existent.

Also is it all boys who think that wet towels belong on the floor, when you've opened a new toothpaste it's ok to leave the empty box in the bathroom cabinet, it's fine to put all the lights on at 6.30am and have a full conversation with the cat instead of getting dressed in the spare room, guffawing loudly to "one foot in the grave" at going up to midnight ,while your girlfriend is 6 months pregnant and trying to get to sleep at the side of you, is also acceptable behaviour!!!!

Still, i wouldn't swap him.

But i need to be at home if i am to maintain my bright eyed and bushy tailed persona while being heavily with child, plus a domestic goddess.
Tic tic tic, not long now until i leave this funny farm i call my place of work, hand the car back and lose my pay-packet along with my identity and Independence.

Anyhew.........Like i said no news this week, am struggling for what to make for tea every night. So far have rustled up steak filled Yorkshire with veg, Cheese and bacon burgers with chips and tonight it's fish.
Any suggestions would be welcome, quick dishes containing only plain food, that can be made in under 20 minutes....but look and taste like something Nigella has prepared obviously.
I'm even more tired now, always more sleepy after lunch, probably eating too much, to maintain my Porky pig look.
But i am deffo not doing anything tonight, i'll make tea, Andy washes up and takes bin to mainroad....but that's my lot, i overdid it last night.

Was still streaming with cold, (that's a week I've had the sniffles now), so Leigh asked if i wanted to go home, i wasn't waiting for him to ask twice off i went...............laden down with Mothercare and Asda bags with my buys from lunch (another £50 on unborn child), made it home for 3pm.

By 8pm i got to sit down........my back was fooking crippled, i don't even know where the 5 hours had gone.....well i do, making tea and preparing the next days pack up, ironing a certain persons 10 designer polo shirts and jeans and shorts, then washing their work togs and trying not to scream when he returned from JJB brandishing sweaty Gym kit, this is all after i'd ironed and hung the new nursery curtains, bathed me and sorted the felines, washed and dried BHS quilt cover and the works towels....i need to cut myself a bit of slack, but i've always been a bit Bree Van de camp.

I'd even brought the blanket down to have a nap on the sofa which Meg had utilised......pah! Fat chance........

Bed for 9.30pm, with the intention of watching 1 episode of DHW's, ended up watching both then chatting, i need more than 6 hours sleep, i think he secretly does too and the novelty will wear off, then baby comes along and 6 hrs kip will seem like an eternity.

Can't win, but i'm so going to lie-in at the weekend :o)
No plans at all for this Friday, Saturday or Sunday....funny how no one can be arsed to do owt after Xmas is over, everyone's either detoxing, shattered or skint.

Fine by me, bring on the heating turned up full, clean p.j's and bedclothes, chick flick on DVD and a box of Belgium chocs.

Happy as a pig in $hit!!!! i will be.

What a freak

2007-01-02T16:45:00.001Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_6220000/newsid_6224900/6224953.stm

Happy New Year one and all!

2007-01-02T16:40:00.000Z

Well the first thing I have to say of course is Happy New Year and the second is that blogging has changed. This may mean that I am able to blog a bit more this year but we'll see.

Hope you all has a nice NY and a good Christmas. A summary of my festive period will appear later this week.

It's 2007

2007-01-02T16:27:00.000Z

Just to check my memory isn't completely shot...just yet! with the pregnancy hormones, here are the last 12 days of my Christmas.

Thursday 21st Dec

The buffet/tea party with the in-laws went very well indeed, Gill was more than pleased with the home her little boy is now living in and was over the moon with nursery for her 1st Grandchild, we all ate plenty, the salads and chilli went down a little better than cold meats and stand pie, it was a mega chilled out atmosphere, leading me to believe that when the 6 of us have been together in a pub environment, or at G&D's or John and Claire's it's moi who is on pins, but am mucho relaxed playing the hostess...........ooh I'm a funny bugger.
Let the cats out of bedroom after we'd eaten and Ma P tried not to be too horrified when they wreaked havoc and Andy and i treat them like children.........hahhhaaaa!
They all departed at 10.30pm, we washed up and fell into bed Morecombe and Wise stylee and slumber well before the 12.

Friday 22nd Dec

Was SOOO glad i went to work, the warehouse lads were clearing out the empty offices next door and came across a brand spanking new silver cross pram in it's box ............it was in my car boot in 5 seconds flat.....reight do! i'm going to miss this job!

Being preggers, i was allowed to go at 12 instead of 1pm, nipped into Marlo's...stayed an hour drinking coffee....gave her Grandma's present to deliver, then home to disco kip, Andy was up late & had left the bedroom untidy, i'd just restored whole house to it's usual tidy splendour, when he came home and insisted on showing me all his Christmas buys for his family, we had a bit of mid afternoon nookie, then i wanted to sleep for 2 hours........unfortunately i needed to wee (as i do every hour) but one of Alan's cronies was painting the outside of the house, he was at the bathroom window....being with child i couldn't wait and had to go in the washing up bowl in the kitchen.....guffaw!!!
Up at t.time, called for RMS, delivered his pressie and chatted to his lovely parents, he was asleep and had forgotten i was collecting him, but all was forgiven, we headed for the comi where we plonked for 5 hours in the snug for R Woz's 30th..........Jesus Mary mother o' god it wa loud, nice to see Sarah though (she hasn't changed), Ruth, Rach, Spug and Dean showed up late on......Sis rather squiffy as she'd been drinking all day.......so mad Friday.. was just that.
The wags made more noise than the whole pub put together, shrieking like I've never heard, me and Andy dropped Matt and Sarah at their parents homes at midnight and headed home ourselves, leaving our smoke damaged clothes in the garden (not really).

Saturday 23rd Dec

Up early doors for swimming, left Andy moving his stuff in...spent the rest of the day peacefully vegging in front of t.v, wrapped all his folk's presents......then do you know, i can't remember what the hell we did next...i presume, eating, reading and a lot of t.v watching were involved.

Sunday 24th Dec

Awake just before dinner, both bathed & got ready to eat our Sunday lunch at the Porray's cooked by Gill........it was very nice indeed, the 6 of us sat around till 4ish chatting and watching t.v.
Dropped Andy at spoons to meet Deano and his brother at 5pm, i collected Katy at 7.30pm and we met RMS, Sarah and MJW in the Obadiah for Xmas eve beverages, 2 in Spoons, 2 in the Commercial where we bumped into Andy, the cricket lot and all the wags, the rest of the evening was very pleasant, plonked in the Old house at home which was very quiet and we hogged the karaoke, everyone bar me were quite pished, i took Sar and MJ home after 12 (o'clock, not pints)....it was a really good night and my 1st sober Christmas eve in 21 years.......cripes.

Monday 25th Dec

Xmas day, i was up and about at 9.30am, bathing, letting cats out and feeding them, Andy was up at 10.55am, we'd to be at his Mum's for 11am.......bundled him in the car...no sympathy for hangover boy..bacon butties all round at the in-laws, we all swapped presents, i did v.well.....Radley handbag and a pony from G&D,Tigi bedhead stuff from Claire and John, sweets & a tenner from Grandad and countless Next homey things from his Aunties...ace! Dropped C&J and Claire's parents in Gummy, then me and AP swapped pressies at home and watched a bit of t.v, again i did well, Channel perfume, dressing gown, p.'js, slippers, socks and chocs.
Got a wriggle on and up to Marlo's had a lovely day, Martyn, Steven, Ruth and Mark all present....exchanged gifts and had Xmas dinner in 2 sittings....more presents including random ones from Mother.. New triv, novel, album, molton brown bubble baths, book, money, more perfume, chocs, storage boxes??! and i can't for the life of me remember what else i got from Mum but it was v.random.
Steven took great delight i taking the piss out of my frock all day, we watched Monsters ink them off we toddled home for sofa napping, Mum and Dad came up at 8pm for a spot of supper and Vicar of Dibley, then left at 10.45pm.........so a lovely Christmas day was had by all, without booze or any fisty cuffs for that matter.

Tuesday 26th Dec

Boxing day, we slept for England, Andy missed the rugby...oops!, after breakfast i dropped him at the club while i changed bedding and did 3 wash loads before i joined him at 4ish, it was very busy and full of boozy folk, we stayed till 7.30pm, chatting to Spug and KF, Andy having had 7 or so pints..........nipped in home, got Megan's present and some beers....then to Ruth's for a buffet and party games, very nice time....Steven was in his element with the ready made audience, Andy started on a bottle of Stella.......took the top off, promptly left it and asked for water.
Hardened drinker or what? unlike my father and Brother who were slowly getting merry on Boddingtons, strong lager, red vino and magners...tut tut!
After party games, we departed home for jimmies.....about the same time as the Denham's and House's arrived.
Bed lateish after too much buffet fodder and cake........happy in the knowledge that there were 6 holiday days left.

Wednesday 27th Dec

Off i toddled mid morning, swapped Andy's pressie from Mum at JJB and got him an Adidas polo shirt, resisted going into Birstall retail park...........queuing? pah! had a quick Mccy dee's, then collected Mother to go nursery curtain shopping, what a rubbish day, trailed round Skopos mills, Dewsbury, anyhew the upshot was, i came home empty handed and despondent and mum had bags of purchases including lots of new things for her doll's house.........don't ask!Collected Ap from the sofa and dragged him round tesco's for the weekly shop, £78 later (how much are razor blades?) Home again, Andy and his Dad had moved his drawers and wardrobe in, so i rearranged it all.......so you could actually move in there and i could get to my beloved clothes airer......more washing, jogging, t.v, noshing..........blah blah.
Cats like Andy more than me now as he plays with them...........grrr!
Fell into a happy but late slumber.

Thursday 28th Dec

Up 11ish, didn't bother showering as we were in a rush..........we were off to the seaside! no time for breakfast there was no stopping us, by 1.30pm, we were well and truly plonked in busy bees.....eating like kings......Mmmm!
Mooched about town, parked the car by Spa {flashbacks of a cold Nov evening queuing to see Beautiful South, with sea mist splashing over the harbour wall :o) } we walked all the way to the south shore and back, have realised I'm less out of breath bearing howge bump than i was back in the days i was fagging it......dear me! lovely day, felt all invigorated.......home M62 way and back not too late, bath, p.j's..soup and sandwiches and Xmas t.v....heaven!

Friday 29th Dec

We both woke with streaming cold (bloody East coast fresh air), Andy was off to the Gym to sweat his out, i laid under the duvet like a wounded animal, up at lunchtime and made him a breakfast, i had banana and cereal....then put a leg of lamb in the oven and off we headed to the sales, Crown point retail park and the White Rose..how brave?, purchased new mattress for crib, nappy wrappers and nappy bin, bath guard, steriliser and some other baby stuff.
Unpacked all shopping into nursery, made veg, roasties, Yorkshires etc, ate like locusts, followed by an evening of chilling, DVD's, books..ya di ya.

Saturday 30th Dec

I was in the mood for shopping, Andy wanted me to go watch Morley play rugby with him and Grant and Katy (it's raining are you on glue?), passed Ma's and saw her little car so nipped in, had a coffee and she tagged along, we did HMV, Mama's and Papa's, Next and DFS, she was tired so dropped her home, then i went into Leeds and also called in Batley, Tesco's and the video shop...spent £105 which wasn't bad, i could've done better.
Me and AP arrived home at the same time, he'd nipped darn club for a couple of Stella's, another blissful evening at home in pyjamas, we ordered take out as a special treat, i had an Eastern Spice (1st time this year), He had a Spring bamboo, we had to ring Ruth for the number (she has it on speed dial). Demolished fodder, then watched the worst DVD i have ever seen in my life, Live Feed (don't get it, the 1st half is soft porn, it says on the cover "Hostel with snakes", it had 1 snake in, honestly I've seen better actors in the Spen Valley gang show), bed early to read, I've gone through a dozen crap mags as Andy has needed to watch every darts match possible.

Sunday 31st Dec

New years eve, poorly snivelly cold, Andy went walking early doors, me, Meg, Maisie and Luther stayed in bed, we're not daft.
Got dressed only to take DVD back and complain, got the "break up" out for free and watched it in the afternoon, all much of a nowtness, chops for tea, got ready against my will for Hogmanay celebrations.....booo! "But it's cold, i'm pregnant, i've got the flu, there's good tele on"........it wasn't washing!
Glad i went though, met Katy and her Sister, Grant and Craig in the not so Commical, 2 in there and onto the Whickam, chatted and drank my squash all of us huddled, in the pool room, then we drove onto the Sportsclub, poor Club and organisers, very shoddy turn out, noone prepared to support them on the biggest night of the year.
Still we made the best of it, Karaoke (Andy sang with Dave T...cripes), Mick's curry was very nice, everyone in high spirits, at midnight, lots of cheering, party poppers, new year kisses (Mick tried to slip tongue in............not ideal), i had a little bottle of white wine and even danced to some cheesy tunes with one v.pished boyfriend, one mullered Katy, & Blacky and Waitey also showing us thier dance moves.
Home for 1am, streaming with cold, but quite hyper, i read till 2.30am, Andy watched the end of True lies and was soon snoring like a wild boar.

Monday 1st Jan

I was fighting fit earlyish, one hundred and 1 jobs to do, left poorly boy sleeping off his Stella head, while i dismantled tree, wanged cards, sorted cats, washed, tided, we'd bought 4 pirate DVD's from a random chink in Whickam last night, so i started watching Little Children (Andy showed his face briefly, was struggling to be alive, i love him SO much, but he's such a baby), off he toddled back to bed, finished watching my film, made a roast chicken dinner and chatted to Matt on the phone, next news G&D arrive, then get this..........his Mother goes to check on him in bed...WTF? he's got the runs and he's barfed, but he's 30 next year, he's had a belly full of Stella, he's a big boy........get over it!!!
Anyhow off they went, i made him get up so i could wash the bedclothes, told him in no uncertain terms he was going to work today, he managed some soup, felt a bit better and we watched Dead Clever.........quite good,up the apples and pairs to bed at 11pm, both asleep before 12.
Not a great nights sleep, coughing, up 3 times to wee, tiptoeing around, trying to blow my nose quietly.

Tuesday 2nd Jan

Awake with Andy at 6.30am, morning chatting...wtf?
Me and cats soon dropped back off for 2 hours, once we heard him lock the door, so that's it, all holidays over, done and dusted for another year...my 1st sober festive season in 2 decades, possibly my last.
Nice day at work today, despite the cold, only me, Leigh, Paul and warehouse lads present, been to Mossy's, washed the car, blogged, had lunch and spent Andy's Xmas BHS voucher on a new quilt cover, now we're co-habitting, i'm opening his eyes to a whole new world of soft furnishings....tee hee!
No i'm liking it, it's just the same really only now i get to wash his clothes too, oh and cook for him, which i like........ i hope he's happy too, if not it's tough titty, there's no going back now........Mwaaahhhahaaaa!

I have him in my clutches!!!

Happy new year everybody.

Last blog of the year

2006-12-21T15:19:00.000Z

Only 5 hours left to work, before I'm out of here like a greyhound out of trap 3...........
Yippee.
This week has flown really, Tuesday evening Ruth and Mark came round with a take-away, they didn't stay long as Ruthrack is allergic to my cats (told her she'll hardly ever get to see her niece with these short visits). Tee hee!

Anyhow we had a nice natter, Andy shows off a bit when we have guests, playing lord of the manor or something. We opened the posh M&S xmas biccies, but i had to side them so there was some left for the in-laws tonight.
AP & I spent the rest of the evening trashy t.v watching........he departed around 10pm, i cleaned stair carpet, blitzed the bathroom and mopped lino, read and was asleep for midnight!

Wednesday 20th

Nice day, braved the hellhole called Morrison's and M&S for last minute supplies, few work errands but not many, plenty skiving, emailing and looking on the net....home at 4.30pm, then spent 5 hrs wrapping Woz's bday pressie & last minute Xmas buys, siding washing from airer, making a chilli, emptying bins, made tea and today's sandwiches, chatted to RMS, bath and ablutions, all the while this little baby of ours was doing the fandango, it's a right little boxer and is clearly a night rake.
Andy meanwhile laid on the sofa for the duration, i know he works 10hr days and has a manual job, but he's a rude awakening ahead when bambino arrives, brought this to his attention......"don't worry Karen, I've got it sorted....baby on one arm, sky remote in the other hand..........guffaw guffaw".
Hmmmm?
Home for him (the last time ever), bed at 10pm...so so so tired.

Thursday 21st
Keeping work to a bare minimum, have chatted to Marlo, had a big lunch and am very sleepy, managed to put screen wash and oil in the C4, Andy called.. the rugby is cancelled this weekend (good), he's finishing at 3pm today and is either going for a kip or to the Gym............note, instead of starting his Christmas shopping!!"!? Boys!!!
I'm getting in a flap for him, Men they just aren't bothered!
I've 2 more hours to kill here, then I'm calling to drop some samples off on the way home in Birstall, hopefully i'll be home for 4.30pm, Andy's family coming at 6.30pm..he's arriving an hour earlier to give me a hand. Hmmm? Gordon Ramsey move aside.

Tomorrow i have to come to work a.m...boo hiss! call at the Mothers at lunchtime to take Grandma's present for them to drop off, then...........it's the holidays.
Yippeeeee.
Warren's birthday tomorrow, we're venturing into town (eek) Sarah is also attending as is RMS (with it being his brother's 30th).
Plans for the holidays are thin on the ground, thank the lord (don't you think i've enough on, starting to co-habit and being 24 weeks preggers), ..........Dinner with G&D Xmas eve, out night.
Xmas day split between both sets of parents and our house.
Boxing day..club and Ruth's.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday absolutely no plans...do not intend to lift a finger, not a jot :o)
Oh heaven, that's made me smile.
Might have a day at the coast.
The plan for New years eve is the club at a fiver a head, curry and karaoke.......reight do!

New years resolutions and 2007 plans.
Give birth, try and be less tidy, not to start smoking again (yak), lastly lick that boyfriend of mine into shape and get him domesticated...........I'm thinking a pain free birth might be the easier of the 2.
That's all folks, i wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Xmas parties, wedding, pre festive cleaning.

2006-12-19T12:55:00.000Z

Ooh so much has gone off, i'll pull out the highlights and things that were funny.

Well things i thought were funny.

Thursday 14th, i left you mid afternoon.........well nice Leigh at work let me depart the work place 1/2hr early, so home to sort cats and bathe.......at the beauty parlour for 6.30pm, to much "ooh my.. look at the size of you now!" from nice staff.
Waxed, tinted and home in the hour, set about faketanning, hair straightening, got all ready and into Leeds, planned to park in the train station and nip through...........not at £35 for 3hrs, abandoned car on road side and got to Dino's dead on 9pm.
Highlights of staff Xmas party.
Everyone was mullered bar me.
By the time we'd sat down and ordered, our Turkey main course arrived at 11pm.
Huggy was cracking onto a pretty girl way out of his league who told him to fuck off.
Some random Jew called Moggy Fellman came and gatecrashed, sat at the side of me, crushing my body space really getting on my nerves.
David was so drunk he told Paul to invite his brother, Paul ended up forking out for said Bro all night, lapdances included... costing him a mere £150 for a "free" night out.
David in his mullered state was ordering £45 bottles of champagne, he'd got a smiley red wine mouth too from all the vino.
The food was poor, i was tired, home for midnight, couldn't wind down as i'd be drinking caffeine fuelled coke all night and didn't get to sleep till 1.30am.............boo!

Friday 15th, the alarm went off at what seemed like 3am, spent most of the day stuck in the mad traffic caused by the 11 car pile up at Stourton, Elliott had pulled the previous evening and was stranded at the cedar court, David hadn't been home and came into work sporting last nights clothes.
The day dragged forever, nipped to Mum's on the way home to drop off knitting basket.
Slept for 2 hours on the sofa in my p.j's then had a lovely evening, reading , watching t.v, had poached eggs on toast, nice pudding and waited up till 11pm for Andy to call for a lift.
He didn't, so went to bed then got up again when he couldn't get his key in the door at midnight.
Conversation on his part, incoherent mumbling, all the while stroking my tummy to check on his Son??!! me "go to sleep you stink".
Him........ more rambling, laughing at his own jokes while being all maudley, which would have been romantic if he hadn't have been farting while trying to get me in a head lock to smell it.......struth!!!!
Finally he collapsed unconscious and started snoring around 1am.

Saturday 16th, up around 10am, i hade hot drinks, then left poorly boy suffering while i went to the petrol station, cheapside for border adhesive and the baths for a 45 minute brisk swim, home and he hadn't shifted, he got up, threw up, then off to play rugby looking decidedly queasy.
I had a hectic day, gift wrapping,3 loads of washing, put border up, full breakfast, Ruth called for colanders, i then stuck some false nails on, straighten my hair, more fake tan to apply, Andy asleep on the sofa, woke him to go to his families family party at 6.30pm.
Had a nice evening all his folks are really nice, lots of fussing of baby bump, stacks of Xmas cards, nice buffet supper.......Mmm Gill is a v.good cook i'll giver her that!
Party games, we won cookies and minstrels, home for 10pm and bed at 11pm as howge day the next day and we were both very tired.

Sunday 17th, AP couldn't sleep so put the cricket on at 6am, i was furious but fell back asleep, it was still on at 8am, he was snoozing away with remote control in his hand........wtf?, come 9am, i was tired and grumpy.......the cat had been sick, Grant txt and the alarm was ringing and i was really cross!!!
10am, Andy had been for bacon, cleaned the cats sick up, i was having a bubble bath and calm was restored.
11am, we were both fed, ready in our best Sunday attire, collected Katy and Grant and were on our way to Oakwood house in Bingley for Carl and Nicola's wedding.
Highlights.
Woz and Deano were equally the drunkest men there.
KF sulked all day as she had dodgy guts (caused by excess beer and dirty curry Saturday night), all the other girls didn't include her, she didn't want to come in the 1st place....the list was endless.
The meal was out of this world, the ceremony was just right, it was nice to see everyone, nice to dress up, Nicola looked gorgeous, baby bump was filmed and snapped plenty.
John's speech was the best best man's speech I've ever heard.
The night time revellers arrived at 7.30pm, the place wasn't big enough, it was rammed, there weren't enough chairs, the bar was heaving and the whole venue was stuffy and smokey........ the daytime people were either, pissed, on their way or asleep.
Marshy was so ill he went home before the wedding breakfast, Debbie was livid.
Warren patted the bump and said "hadn't Andy done well" 100 times.
Chatted to Gill and Dave for hours at night as i was the only coherent person there.

By 11pm, i was tired, Andy had drunk enough, Grant had work the next morning, Deano was dribbling and struggling to stand, but KATY wanted to stay and get mullered as she'd just started on the pop 7 hours after everyone else, the tears started.... for fooks sake, she made a right fuss, then proceeded to sing to Fairytale of new York all the way home, then reckoned to be asleep while touching Deano's cock who was sat in-between her and her boyfriend, i can't get my breath and am SO glad I'm me.
Bedforshire after Andy made and burnt me some toast and i'd washed the panstick off my face and thrown all wedding attire stinking of dirty fags in the washer, fell into the deepest slumber ever at around 1am :o)

Monday 18th.
8am, sleepy nookie, txt in sick, fed cats, Dean txt about Xmas trees!!?? smiled and curled back up asleep until 11.30am..............reight do!!!
Busy day, we went to Lillibets for lunch, Toys Rus for Winnie the Pooh uplighter and cot mobile, cheapside for filler, Tesco's for supplies (the cupboard was bare). Homeward bound.
Lady jobs................ ironing curtains, stripping and washing bedding, vaccing and dusting whole house, sorting all baby gear out for nursery, unpacking shopping.
Man jobs..............putting up curtain pole and uplighter, changing light bulbs, then lying on sofa watching darts.
The whole "sick" day passed in a domestic blur (you can tell his parents are coming for tea on thursday). Last night i was squeeky clean, as was the house, had a ham sarnie, some crisps and ice-cream. Read a while, watched Sunday's Lost, happy as a pig in shit, slept like a baby in clean bedding.

Tuesday 19th, awake after horrid dream baby had died :o( glad to be at my desk, have posted all Xmas pressies of people i won't see, took curtains back to Argos as we've decided on Pooh ones (after all that). Have blogged, caught up with mates, getting Chinky with Sis tonight, 1 week to Chrimbo..lots of happy events pending.

Will blog later in the week as i've nothing to do after all.........eeh! Xmas wind down!!!

Tazmanian devil

2006-12-14T15:16:00.000Z

Monday 11th.

Usual work farce, moggy day...........all colleagues foul, it's fooking Christmas for Christ's sake, chill out!
Morrison's at lunch, for boring supplies (i.e soap powder and other shit you can't eat).

Lasted till 3pm, had a blinding headache so took myself off home to my quilt, was too cold to sleep so just pottered around till 5pm (i love being at home), the plan was Andy was going to the Gym and i was having Monday night for me........however it didn't pan out like that.

Marlo phoned, wondering if i accepting visitors, Andy phoned to say he'd pop up with money for Carl and Nic's wedding present and Steven phoned to say could he drop Will's present in for me to take to Kay's on Tuesday. Who's a popular lady?
Got cats in and all dressed in bow ties ready for visitors.
Bless Ap, he arrived brandishing lots of cash and an extra £100 towards my families presents as they were from both of us...........awww!
Mum was chatting and a smoking so off he toddles home to watch the footie, exchanged cards, gossip and other tripe with the Mother, then Gill phoned (Auntie, not mother in law) and Ma disappeared in a puff of smoke (literally). Nice night, read, watched box, chatted, chilled and bed late.

Tuesday 12th.

Mad busy at work, stretched my jobs out all morning, fetched David's jeans from tailors, picked up my photos from Klickpoint, took the bank, called at Hobbycraft as Mother wanted a knitting basket, flannels to fetch David Emporia Armani boxers (have been wondering if, buying my boss's pants is actually in my job description). M&S to get £750 of vouchers for customers gratuity, was going to get Steven the hamper for Stuart and Lorraine, but bumped into him in Debenham's so he got it himself..........reight do!!!
Had a nice chat with him and Lindsey, she wants to give us her little girls Cot/Bed (our poor little gypsy baby and all it's 2nd hand gear).

Was back in time for lunch, ate my sandwich then went to the White Rose of Yorkshire and purchased black leather pumps from Ravel for the wedding evening do (not sure how long i can teeter around in stilettos with moi bump). Tossed it off the rest of the avo, then went to the Wailes's abode for a cut and blow. How ironic 1yr on from the last time i was there..........had my trim, she made it quite clear we can be firm friends again now I'm having a baby and mumbled something about she felt so dull before and i always seemed to be having a ball in comparison, couldn't really be assed so left soon after and home for 8pm.
Spent a couple of hours admiring hair, having nice pie and chips, and re-potting the howge cheese plant into a sample planter i got from work (god i'm going to miss this job). Started watching unidentified white male, but was snoozing by 11pm.

Wednesday 13th.

Beavered away at my desk, then David wanted more Armani jeans shortening for his Barbados holiday, went out for a couple of hours, more errands/shopping, sweating profusely laden down with shopping bags in all the hustle bustle, fetched AP a Lacoste t.shirt (used his switch card and just put his pin in, well i aren't paying another £55 a shout), a red cardi and a green jumper for me from Wallis and some posh beers for Steven as he's spent a small fortune on us..oops!
Back to work and caught up on my emails to Ruth and RMS, phoned Mother who was threading picture wire through some decorative holly! Wtf? she's funny is marlo, she's getting right into the festive spirit............ that's a different spirit to the one Jim likes!

Home for 6pm, some nice gents have been painting the outside of the house with masonry paint and have left a reight mess in me garden. As i'd been on the go was really hyper, but once i'd sat down i couldn't get going again, unfortunately i'd chosen to sit in the nursery and was nearly nodding off in the rocking chair......how old?.......had a nice evening, ligging about, gave baby a healthy tea laden with Omega 3, Steven phoned to chew the fat about Kay, we watched Pissed and pregnant on BBC3, then AP had the footie on Sky sports, sleep at 11pm, pooped!!!

Thursday 14th.

Another mad busy hectic day, roll on weekend!!! saying that i was only as busy as i wanted to be, had a nice leisurely lie in till 9.15am, cats scratching their heads as to the whereabouts of their brekkie, At the nice midwife's for 9.50am, student girl did some prodding of baby dump, BP, wee, other routine tests, they declared all was well, heard the little clip clopping of our child's heartbeat (she did ask me if i'd had a peek of the sex at the scan, am now adamant we're having a boy...... or a girl with a scrotum...........grrr)! Andy is as pleased as punch, last seen going "YES" in the stylee of wheelchair bound Andy from little Britain.
Out of the healthcentre and just nipped to the following places on my way back to work, Metcalfe's for stand pies, tescos for cat litter and Heineken, White rose to swap too small cardigan and B&Q for Winnie the Pooh border, what do you mean i take advantage of my employers good nature??
Arrived at my desk at 11.30am, ate a banana had a quick coffee, then went to pick up £3k in American dollars and £2k in sterling from the Yorkshire bank, Boots for David and Elliott a pasta meal deal and some Xmas gift wrap (also purchased myself some false nails as mine are fooked and a treatment sachet as Kay says my hair is similar to Worzel Gummidge's, thanks to Chlorine in the pool). When lunchtime came i was too tired to go out! WTF???

And it doesn't end there, this evening i have to get home, let cats out, get to the beauticians for waxing, tinting and preening, home to fake tan, make myself look glam and over to Dino's in Leeds at 9pm......am so looking forward to our Annual festive get together.. me driving, these lot pissed as farts heading in the direction of the purple door afterwards.
Andy sleeping at home as he's doing overtime in the morning, to get some cash in for'bairn.............boo!
I've hardly seen him this week, sob wail (be a different story the week after next when he's there all the time) tee hee!!!, the weekends plans are as follows, Andy's works Xmas do tomorrow evening at Scholes cricket club, I'm having a Chinese (take-away not person) with Steven and hopefully an early night.

Saturday i'll be heading to the baths sporting a Speedo swimming cap and a nose peg, might put the border up, then in the evening it's the Porray's Xmas party........1million Aunts and Uncles patting my bump!
Sunday is Carl and Nicola's wedding in Bingley..........how exciting, i am to taxi myself and AP, Granty love and KF as they don't drink very much at all and are certain not to be sick in the back of my car.
Monday i am to be poorly, as i can see into the future.

They said there'd be snow at Christmas

2006-12-11T11:23:00.000Z

They said there'd be peace on earth!!!

Well there's peace in my little household and my immediate social (if you can call it that) life, so I'm doing my bit.

Rundown of weekends events...........again!

Thursday evening was like a scene from some cheesy American Christmas movie with me and AP putting up and decorating the tree...well! the only difference was we were watching Saw on DVD......hardly festive??!!
Proper winter food for tea, went to bed all smiley and giddy as a kipper about the pending festivities!!!

Friday 8th

I wanted to blob work but Andy wouldn't let me as i need to do the same after Carl and Nic's wedding, up at 8am, t.v on, mugs of tea and early morning chatting! wtf??? i suppose at that time, blokey has already had a 2 hour lie-in, but it's the middle of the night for grumpy old me......still!
Work was fine, it was a long bluddy week though........treat myself to a prêt super club at lunch. 5pm before i knew it, Andy was at mine t.time, had a bit of festive naughtiness, then threw him out for his night on the tiles with the boys while i prepared for girlies coming round for food (they could bring thier own dirty beer).
So started making 2 fruit flans, food in oven to warm through.....part baked baguettes to cook, other quick preparations and all ready for 7.30pm.
Spug and Katy arrived on the dot, Rach and Ruth soon after (who'd nipped for a happy meal to tide them over), Tina and Beth bringing up the rear.

Anyhew it was a lovely night, so nice to see them all (without the absence of Sarah) it was Amsterdam revisited. It was quite bizarre not drinking, but i did myself proud by staying up very late and not being a party pooper.
Highly amusing moment, when i said about the fruit flan in a rather too excited voice (people staring like they gave a fook about puddings when they could get wellied).
Everyone was fed and watered, all wearing party hats from the hoisted crackers... all the old photo albums were out and mucho reminiscing took place.
Someone tried to explain some rules of a drinking game, they fell on deaf ears.........nothing to do with me mate! and the game was promptly packed away.

The 4 faggers were in and out baring the cold to get thier nicotine fix (how times have changed). tee hee!
Not sure who was drunk, KF's eyes were bloodshot and she was talking about bum sex, so i'm guessing she was...Rach was slurring her words, but everyone else seemed fine, they must have lined thier stomachs with my exquisite cooking!!
But the funniest thing was peoples boyfriends phoning/txting them constantly as to thier whereabouts and an ETA home...........wtf? one night out without the ladies and they fall to pieces.

Katy, Tina and Beth left at 1.15am (Katy having polished off 13 bottles of beer), Rach, Ruth and Spug at 2am......after i suggested they finish their litre of vodka off at someone elses house. I washed up, tided round.......everything back spick and span, up the apples and pears, read one "real life story" in Pick Me Up and was asleep at 3am............i repeat.....3AM!!!!!!!

Saturday 9th

Lovely day, didn't rouse until 12 midday (excluding my 2 wee breaks) put the washer on...queued with the bockers in Cheapside for some festive wrapping paper, then got to the pool.......to my excitement no cars in carpark.........once in, there was 3 young lads mucking around on the slide and just me swimming! Reight do!!!! swam for 45 mins, still only 12 or so people in pool when i left..........note to self, good time to swim! or maybe it was the crappy rainy weather keeping the punters away?

Homeward bound, nice afternoon.....ate some left over party food, bathed, p.j's, ironed while watching Wizard of Oz dvd... How old? More washing and a grumpy sore loser AP phoned for a lift at 6pm...rubbish game of rugby, me suspects he might have been a tad hungover too after a night out with Woz, Deano, Blacky and Waitey the previous evening!

Forfeighted my plans of a visit to Mum's and an hours kip on the sofa...G&D's to drop his kit and a quick change, then spent the evening......watching the Boxing??!! after Shaun of the Dead on DVD, while i wrapped and wrapped and wrapped the never ending pile of presents, which were once in the nursery and are now thankfully looking pretty under the tree!
Soup and baguettes for tea, followed by the never ending fruit flan and ice-cream..........started writing cards at 11pm, once all wrapping finished and Andy had gone upstairs to watch some more sports.
Bedfordshire at 1am.

Sunday 10th

Awake and UP at 10am, had a small bacon butty (to put us on), Andy took car to G&D's to change while i had a bath, crappy weather again... maungy cats hanging round door crying to come in, eat sliced turkey and lie on our bed all day.
Andy came back, went to fridge for his bockled water and knocked a can of cider off the top (left from BBQ in July) i was drying my hair..........all i heard was "what the fook, you're having a laugh, i don't fooking believe it" Came down he'd put a teatowel over the exploding can and was drying his socks on top of the fire, told him he smelt like Woz...........tee hee!
Put girls presents in car and off we set to Buxton, over the tops.

Made good timing, arrived at 1.30pm, to a house of chaos........1/2 trimmed, 2 excited little girls jigging about with a 5' musical dancing santa!
Chris slaving over the stove and Rhian half tearing her hair out. Peace was restored while we all ate our Sunday roast, after pud we sat plonked, chatting for 4hrs...i kid you not.
Needed to hit the road, the girls went for their baths, Andy and Chris went upstairs for the rocker/slider nursery chair, Rhian asked what else we'd bought.........erm! not a lot, mentioned the stuff we were waiting to purchase in the sales, then as if by magic, she just happened to have a Mama's and Papa's pine rocking cradle........yippee!
Left the boys putting car seats down, to fit all our free baby gear in.

Singing to Kirsty McCall and the Sstones Roses homeward bound, made good timing and back in Clecksville early evening, unloaded car, Andy erected all nursery stuff, while i fed cats and hovered around like a girl who wouldn't know how to use a rachet set.

Home for him and bath number 2 for me, had a relaxing evening, Housewife 49, bagel and mini cheddars and the blasted fruit flan.
Sky plussed Lost and was too tired to stay awake to watch it, bed at 11pm, read a while and had a good solid nights sleep until 8.20am today when the alarm went off and it was still dark! eh? what's all that about?

Mad busy week this week, will blog details later as the only time i have plenty time on my hands happens to be at my desk.

11 working days left

2006-12-07T14:31:00.000Z

It feels like it should be later on in the week than it is, meaning one thing! I've started clock watching and want out of here..........like pronto!

Do you know when people say they're on wind down for, e.g Christmas or their summer holidays, well I'm on wind down for leaving here... for ever if all goes to plan.

It's only 3 days since i last posted, I've been a busy little bee though.

Monday 4th

Worked here.....shite, M&S flying shopping trip in the lunch hour, plenty posh chocs, Belgium chocolate biccies, handcrafted cards, tree decorations and other expensive shit you'd only buy if you were middle class.
Or an idiot!

Work drek in the avo, home at 6pm :o) had a burst of energy and was dusting, bleaching and blitzing everything in sight, then made a lamb mince & Worchester sauce shepherds pie.......... had chilli for tea, watched Manhunt??!! reight do....bed late, with Bible tucked under my arm.

Tuesday 5th

Went into work for 3hrs, did approx 15mins work, Paul asked if i'd like to vac the office as we had clients coming in? erm.........no! had a bagel, sped to Clecksville in the C4 at midday, collected Mon Amour..and we toddled off to Dewsbury general, him munching a kitkat enroute and me with my full bladder. We were 15mins early, meaning 15 extra mins for me to hold my wee in....not good, the scan was rubbish, we had an unhelpful lady, who sat Andy in the corner away from monitor, (he never even got to see baby) :o( completely covered me in jelly (enough to lube the whole of Canal Street), woke our child up by pressing the scanner down really hard, (it was yawning and scratching it's head). Awwww! then did a rush job on our photo, (side profile, not very good with 1 jazz hand). Anyhow the main thing is everything is fine, but still a bit disappointing! they didn't even ask us if we wanted to know the gender because of other religions in the area..........say no more!!!

Next, went to my first Antenatal, where they took my blood pressure in the corridor, said it was Perfect! Made some notes and sent us home.....bad news- wasted 2 1/2hrs, good news- we were in so long Andy decided not to go back to work. Yippee!!!

Called at Mum's who wasn't in, so we spent a couple of hours chatting to Steven who had the day off, guffawing a plenty, noshing smarties cookies, mugs of tea, Christmas planning, baby talk. MUCH better than being at work, Mum came in from her bingo/ladies club/Tuesday rave or wherever it was she'd been, then went to kitchen to make cheese sauce instead of coming to look at her 1st Grandchild's scan photo.

Left soon after, Andy wanted to walk home to break his new trainers in as he didn't have time to go to the gym................eh? are you insane? it's raining, that fine rain that wets you right through!! we've so much in common.....our love of exercise is right up there.

I however was home in 7mins flat and started tinting my hair, made a chilli for the dinner party, changed bedding, put a wash on & donned on airer, let cats in and out, emptied bins and cats tray, showered, changed and put chilli in freezer (wonder who burnt off the most calories in that hour?). 7pm, we went to R&M's for steak and chips, sponge pudding and custard and tree decorating, had a lovely evening, tree trussing didn't quite go to plan so we need to resort to plan B, but we left at 10pm, fed and watered, Andy with 6 DVD's on loan under his arm....cheeky buggar.

Wednesday 6th

Work again, oh me.....i want to be at home, baking and stuff!
Shite day, more deals going pear shaped, roll on end of the year for 1. Xmas bonus and 2. Andy moving in and taking over bills.
Another £20 in Morrison's at dinnertime, was going to call in Ruth's on the way home with a 4 gang adapter, but she phoned to say no need :o). Home at 6.30pm, fooking t.time traffic, i'd had such a long tiring day, then 1hr stuck on the M62......Had a cry when Andy turned up, funny........hormonal me, snivelling like a girl, blubbing "i -- think -- i'm -- just -- tired", he didn't know what to do. Had a vanilla slice after tea and we watched Layer cake on DVD and i still didn't feel better, went to sleep at 10pm, thinking that would be the only way to rid myself of cry-baby mood.

Thursday 7th

It worked, woke up bright as a button.......what a freak, i can't cope with this malarkey, not being in charge of my own emotions!! was singing to Fairytale of New York in the car. Unhinged!!!
Work fine, even when Jonny Lazy came in annoying me, i resisted yelling "will you just shut the fook up" like i did yesterday. Plenty shopping jobs to do today, need to go to Winerites for 6 bottles of Dom Perignon, M&S for £800 vouchers (gratuity for all the punters that have knocked us this year). Steven asked if i'd get Stuart and Lorraine a hamper, as i'm going i said yes. Might go for a mosey at lunchtime, just to break up the day.
Then tonight, we're putting the tree up.......hurrah! v.excited!! want it to be all Christmassy for tomorrows girly dinner party, hee hee.. am very much looking forward to tomorrow evening.

Might have a night in on Saturday as we're up early for Buxton.
But i must go and swim Saturday morning, this baby of ours is getting nil exercise and Mum reckons it'll have rotton teeth before it's even born, with all the sweet stuff i'm eating.

I'd be much better having the odd ciggy and beer if i fancied it.

Not!

Sloth

2006-12-04T12:59:00.000Z

I've had thee most lazy, uneventful weekend ever........it's too dull to blog.

I'm cringing it's so boring, but the weekend comings blogpost is full and varied and fun packed, i promise!!!!!

Anyhow I'm not making excuses, i like my life now :o)

Friday 1st

White Rose hellhole at dinner, did well though i was a woman on a mission, got the Debenhams vouchers, Andy some shorts, new boxers, DVD, Steven some Simpson's toptrumps (he'll need them) Leigh's lunch and a chocolate cake from Ainsley's and was back at my desk in an hour and 10mins.
5pm, i was outta here and for once in a bluemoon no traffic homeward bound, let cats out......fetched AP, we called for fish and chips and had a very pleasant hour with the parents (even though Marlo greeted me with "put your belly away you're not a teenager".......instead of the usual "Hello") nice!
Didn't pull her up on the fact that she ate the flake from the 4th piece of chocolate cake as that's not childish.

Dad went off to set up the Xmas Fayre after tea, left Mother whittering to herself, dropped Andy at the rugby, home for moi :o) quick bath, then the House's arrived.
Very pleasant evening spent, Megan is SO cute, if my Daughter is 1/2 as sweet i'll be very happy. Rach had a few bevies, Dean was on tea and coffee, i had a grapefruit juice and a satsuma, we just chilled and watched t.v and talked about you lot!

They left at 11.15pm, i went straight to bed, read a while then fell into a very happy sleep as i had the whole bed to myself and a lie-in to look forward to.

Saturday 2nd

If my alarm hadn't have gone off at 10am, i'd have slept way past lunch, so tired!! quick coffee.....note NO swimming tut tut, i'll never go to heaven.
Called for Mum and Ruth and 11am, then went to the church fayre for homemade cream sponge cake, tea and sandwiches, bought some blue hyacinth bulbs as i am in my 60's...obviously.
Jan star made a celebrity appearance, Dad was posing as Santa in the grotto, Mum had taken the digital camera and tried to get me and Sis to pose with him...........we refused.
I had loads of mad old ladies patting my bump, one particular lady told me their Elizabeth was that big, but she wasn't pregnant.....she had a tumour........okay then!!??!

Made a hasty exit back to the car, more coffee and nattering at the Mother's, left for tesco's.. got supplies, dropped Ruth at her in-laws and i spent my afternoon lying on the sofa, after a bath and cleaning the bathroom.
Quick tea of soup and welsh rarebit, collected AP from the club, he changed (his clothes, not as a person) and we toddled to the Flicks, for bond...where we ate our own body weight in revels and jelly babies. Some special needs boy selling popcorn at the front, asked everyone to move up and fill the single seats at the side of them, i must admit he was on his soap box, clearing thought this was his big break in the entertainment business, was cracking funnies about how he'd be back at the end of the show with his crow bar to get everyone out of the Auditorium, but Andy did not need to join in by shouting "there's plenty seats at the front" after his 4 bottles of Stella.

Home for 10pm, hotdogs, cream cake and mugs of tea, Parkinson and Bedfordshire for reading, the footie and finally slumber at midnight!

Sunday 3rd

Had a rotten nights sleep, awake at 8, then dropped back off till 10am, fed moggies, made breakfast, then we decided to get a wriggle on and brave the Xmas shopping revellers, fook!!! only went to get Andy some trainers as all my shoppings done and he has Friday's off to buy mine and his families gifts. Went into Leeds, The crown point and Birstall retail park, got him some at soccer world, peeked in ToysRus (no sign of Auntie Gill) the queues were howge, so we shot back to car and home to the sofas...............i hate shopping!! (it's much better to get everything done in your lunch hours and not spend valuable me time pushing and shoving with all the other weekend shopper idiots).

Bathed, p.j's, ate chocs from advent calander, then Met, Gill ,Dave, John and Claire at 4.30pm in the Saw for Gill's birthday, we had a 3 course Sunday dinner which was pleasant...it was okay, but my family are more of a laugh.
I do like John though and Claire's nice.....Andy is obviously in the same mind as me as he's chosen my folks for Xmas dinner...hurrah!!
Home 6.20pm.......p.j's back on quick as a flash, played with cats quite content just chatting and chilling, Andy went about 9pm, i watched the Celebrity coming out and Lost, early to bed more exhausted than if i'd actually done something this weekend.

Still very very busy week and weekend and all the lead up to Chrimbo, windows in my diary? NIL

Last week in brief

2006-12-01T11:14:00.000Z

I have absolutely no news that really warrants a mention, but i'll blog anyway.

Should be a quick one.

Monday 27th

Was very tired, had overdone it on chores at the weekend, wanted my bed at approx 10am, lasted till 3pm........had a headache so sped home and dived under new satin/taffeta quilt affair and slept till 6pm........."oh happy days".

Stayed up until midnight in my p.j's feeling all snug and Christmassy, just pottering, reading and eating the rest of Sunday's roast.

Tuesday 28th

Must have been eventful I'm struggling to think what happened. Erm...i went to Morrison's at lunch, then got stuck on the M62, hometime......took 1 hr to get to Clecksville, dropped Dean's ratchet set off, unpacked shopping, settled down in front of t.v, moaned to Andy as i was hormonal, he just laughed, had a curry and an early night.

Wednesday 29th

Much better mood, i'm like Jekyll and Hyde....good day, but then David was in high spirits which makes a howge difference.
Worked like a slave all day, found some good parcels and have nice commission coming end of Dec (phew). Bought a grey frock from George at Asda (i'd really like our baby to be named after this cheap brand of clothing)...........not!!! Also purchased Mark's bday pressie while i was out and about. Bad traffic again and another hour to get home.
Evening spent doing the usual, Andy had been struggling with a new job at work and was a tad subdued, cheered him up, watched the box, had a pizza.....ya.di.ya!

Thursday 30th

Very good day yesterday, had a heated debate with RMS about my present state, the future and how i should act.
Kay txt to see if i would like my hair doing for free before the wedding, emailed Ruth lots, then compiled an email to all the girls r.e pre Xmas soiree at my house. Bought a few stocking fillers at lunch and more supplies from Mozzers. Home on time.....yippee!
Got loads of baby stuff from work so put them away, sided other treats, bath, p.j., haddock, mash and veg.

Andy arrived at 7pm, for his 3 day weekend.....gave him a list of jobs to do today, lovely evening...can't believe David Guest went, Andy wanted to measure Luther laid down, (he reckoned he was 3'), he then spent the rest of the evening tormenting the cats with the tape measure and throwing revels up and catching them in his mouth!!??!
I was very sleepy, managed to watch both IAC, brief chat with Matt, then up the apples and pears, read, watched t.v and the other, sparko by 11.30pm :o)
Got up to wee at 1am :o(

Friday 1st

Up early today, got ready for work, made AP a cup of tea, fed cats, filled bird feeders, smiled sweetly at Andy still being snug in bed with the t.v on and went to collect his parents to drop them at Leeds train station on my route to the office (they're off to Edinburgh).
Threw them out at the Queens, they both wanted to kiss me....urghhh!!
At my desk at 9.10am, Andy just txt to say he's raked all the leaves from the garden, Meg escaped but he recaptured her and what has he to do next.

Today and the rest of the weekends plans?

Lunchtime, i've to fetch Gill a Debenhams voucher for her birthday with the money i took from Andy's wallet.
Might get Andy some bits while i'm there (he's been hinting at Chubby Brown DVD.......great!!?).

T-time, i'm nipping home and letting the cats out, then calling for fish and chips Mmmm......for us all and taking them to Mum's.
Dean, Rach and Megan are coming visiting tonight 8ish.......
Tomorrow i have a wild itinary consisting of swimming, the Church fayre and James Bond at the Showcase.

Then Sunday lunch with the in-laws for Gill's birthday.....going to try not to clean too much in the house as there's plenty time to get busy with the bleach before baby arrives.

Mind you the bathroom's filthy.

Weeeeeeeeeeeird!!!

2006-11-30T13:36:00.001Z

I had a weird dream last night.

I was working on a carpet making machine at my dad's old work and my co-worker was Kelly Obsourne. She was acting the fool and climbed into the hopper (the thing at the beginning of the machine which stores all the fibre prior to it being processed) and started dancing about. Then she got caught on the spiked sheet (a conveyerbelt which is covered in spikes which goes diagonally upwards and takes fibre into the machine0 and it reiiped her apart and took her into the machine.

I was really scared and had them turn the machine off and rang for an ambulance but I couldn't get through and I rand Kelly's dad, who in my dream was Paul Whitehouse. He kept being stupid and doing silly voices but finally got the point and after hanging up, I managed to get through to the ambulance.

Finally the ambulance people came, there were three of them and they were all really fit but when I went back into the factory I couldn't find the hopper she'd climbed in and so nobody believed what had happened and they turned on the machine again but bits of Kelly started coming through in the carpet by which time the ambulance people realised there was nothing they could do.

God, it was one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had!!

Dining out, bowling and feathering' nest.

2006-11-27T12:03:00.000Z

Where the hell do weekends go?
In the olden days, when i used to lig in bed with hangover and sleep the weekends away, they seemed longer that they do now, i don't get it!
I spend my weekends racing round like a loon, cramming activities into every corner and they're over in a blink.

My usual running commentary of the last few days, goes a little something like this.

Thursday 23rd
As i said, on the way home Tesco's for essentials and a bottle of Talisker and Jack Daniels, Ap arrived at 7pm to help me unpack the shopping and take bin up, we spent the rest of the evening just ligging about unwinding and preparing for the weekend, bed quite early and was awake at 7.22am the next morning, once i'd stirred it was only fair to share my awake state...hahhhaaa! left him to have a lie-in till 10am......grrr!

Friday 24th
Was at work at 8.45am (this has never been known before), quite a pleasant day..nipped to White Rose in my dinner hour, David was out all afternoon and i ate too much lunch (mainly carrot cake) so had a nap at my desk around 3ish.
5pm before i knew it, yippee, i was outta here as fast as my little legs (carrying an extra 1 1/2 stone) would carry me, home for half past, sorted cats, quick wash and change, went for AP, Katy and Grant at 6.45pm and headed for the M621 and the bright lights of the LA bowl in......erm Holbeck. Funny as fook.........bowling, oh my god, you really are quite limited as to what you can do while expecting a baby!! it turned out quite a good laugh, i won the first game and Katy won the 2nd and the overall score (to say the boys weren't happy is an understatement), we were 15mins late for the table i'd booked at the Oracle, but neigh bother, more pints for them 3 and the food arrived after 40 mins, gourmet burgers, fries and cheesy garlic bread all round......it never touched the sides, a few after work revellers were dotted about, one woman had drunk so much champagne, she knocked a bar stool over and fell on top of it, much to my amusement.........eeh! i remember those days.
Home in the belting down rain, dropped them at home and we were in front of the fire, de-make-upped and in p.j's at 11pm :o) stayed up till midnight, then went to bed where i read magazines and Mr. Porrait watched Sky sports.

Saturday 25th
Awake and up and about at 8am.....wrong!! coffees in bed, to prolong getting up and braving the cold to go swimming, brrr! dropped Andy at his, he'd no rugby fixture, so was at a loss for the day, but i had a full agenda.
So swam my lengths (it was rammed, not happy), called at the car wash on the way home, got in and set too......bath, made full English, mixed some blue emulsion and painted filled in cracks (up ladders, quite safe!), made a chocolate trifle, sewed up p.j bottoms and combats (i'm like the hulk bursting out of my clothes) did 2 wash loads and put on airer, dusted living room, then had a 25min nap until Andy phoned followed by Sarah, got a wriggle on and was ready and out the door for 5.15pm.

To the Old corn mill, my my, it brought back memories.........had flash backs to 1989 when i worked there with Rachel Carr behind the bar, met JC.... and pondered on whether a place alone can change your destiny, also had fond memories of the night club downstairs where i used to frequent often with my Fountain buddies in 1993.
Anyhow, it is no longer a knocking shop/watering hole but has been transformed into an oldie worldy restaurant...Sarah had picked it for her birthday meal (good choice), 9 of us dined Matt, Sera, Janet, Tim, Jo, Sam, Harry, Moi and the birthday girl, we waded our way through 3 courses over 3 hours.......not a rush in us, was fit to burst after my prawn cocktail, steak and ale pie, mash and veg, and strawberry mousse, raspberry coulis and channel island cream thingy.......fooking hell i was pogged!!!
My phone was red hot, Andy, Matt and KF all phoned to find out what was happening later on in the evening.

It was 8.45pm, by the time we got to the Sportsclub, Katy was telling me about someone telling her to shut her dog up at the rugby, Matt was sat at the bar with all the ladies......well Spug, Tina, Beth, Hayley etc.hhhahhaaa! there was some kind of disco on, it was noisy and smokey, but we found some seats and i would have been quite happy plonked there for the night.
Phoned Andy to say we'd just arrived, he said he'd be 20mins as he was finishing his pint in the Commi, Matt said he wanted to go into town, so txt AP to say "stay where you are", Moi, Sera, Sarah and the 2 Matts got in the C4 and headed for town, the commercial... as AP, his Bro, the Wags etc were all in there........the 4 of us who'd eaten the 3 course meal were quite content slumped there, 3 of who'd had gone onto vodka and cokes as the lager wasn't going down.

Andy was funny, he'd had a few pints, (been home as he had a rash on his face and neck and was allergic to his new shirt??!!) and was on his soap box, the little tinker, telling anyone who'd listen, he was keeping his room open at home for when i booted him out, was going to call the baby George , couldn't wait to have a taste of breast milk, all the while laughing at his own jokes and mouthing "i'm only joking"....struth!!!
Matt was sad noone wanted to karaoke and nicked off early for a chinese, i had a really good night, chatting to John and Jacko, telling Andy off, laughing at them 3 getting pished on double vodkas at a fiver a shout, all the while random pissheads squeeling "Karen, how big is your bump now?"
Home at midnight, Andy made 2 ham sandwiches and swallowed them both whole washed down with a bag of cheese and onion crisps, guffawed loudly at re-takes of Only fools and horses on UK gold, then shuffled off to bed, put the cricket on and fell asleep at 1am, 30 seconds after retiring.
Mind you i was out for the count minutes after and i hadn't had a gallon of ale.

Sunday 26th
Lovely day, my favourite of the weekend, awake at 9.30am, Andy was rough, i was laughing, he shouted at Meg for jumping on him and spilling tea on the quilt...i wasn't laughing!
He got changed and we toddled to Tesco's for the Sunday papers and a nice piece of Brisket (how old?).
Back home, we took down the living room curtains to wash (nest feathering), i wouldn't like to think how long they've been hanging there, but they're now 3 shades lighter.
Hung them out on the line, ironed them for 1 1/2hrs and hung them back up.
Put the joint in and prepared all veg, cleaned kitchen, put new bedding on bed and washed the tea stained old stuff, lounged around, happy and snug.
3pm, we are like kings, roast beef, homemade roasties, yorkshires, mash, veg and pigs in blankets, it was by far the nicest Sunday roast i have ever cooked.
Footie for Andy, snooze for me, had a bath, dropped him home and went M&D visiting at 7pm, Mum was funny "ooh look at you waddling in, in your...oh pyjamas, i hope nobody saw you". Ruth and Mark turned up, Ruth sewing some pants on Marlo's machine, i stayed an hour or two until Dad came back from his walk and started talking rubbish, home just in time for IAC and Lost at 10pm, Suggy txt to ask about my progress! random boy......Jake and Kate have had a son, Joe, 5ld odd, Chris said it was a box child (i don't understand what this means). Bed at 11.30pm, read till after the midnight, was absolutely done in from all the odd jobs and eating i've done this weekend, but it's flown..........madness!

Still only 4 weeks left until the festive season, bring it on, i can't wait.....slobbing about at home, eating scrummy nosh in my favourite attire, none of that pushing and shoving in smokey bars and all that nonsense for me........no sirree!

Blubbering, Borat and Bargains!

2006-11-23T17:23:00.000Z

Ooh I'm in the Christmas spirit today, I'm right jolly!

Had a lovely week so far, once all the house was back to normal..........unhinged i know, but there were tears on Monday over the decorating and the mess.

I'm not all there......i know!!, AP phoned Monday lunchtime to say his Dad had his key and was letting himself in Monday t.time to carry on making a balls of our babies nursery and let my cats out so Maisie would run off and hide for hours on end and not come home as strangers were in the house.
I said it was fine, then was snivelling like a girl and wiping snot off my top lip before i knew what was happening.
Hormones!

Mailed Ruth and she agreed to come to tea, be there for moral support, wouldn't leave me on my own with Dave and generally give me a pep talk, kick up the ass and stop me wining like a mule.

Andy then txt and said he wasn't going to the gym after all (i don't even have to say anything, he can just sense all is not well) so once i got home at 6pm, he was there with his Dad papering and pasting, Ruth was outside waiting for me....... having a fag.

So the men were upstairs doing there stuff, Dave wanted to know whether i'd mind a couple of joins in the paper, oh me!
Ruth completely saved the day, by getting him to piece all the bits at the same level, as where he'd ripped the bit behind the door.
What a saviour, me, Andy and Ruth had tea, cooked by yours truly, the boys packed up their tackle and departed about 8.30pm, Ruth kindly took back all Dad's gear and i set too blitzing, dragging furniture about, cleaning stair carpet, washing windows, hoovering, putting up lightshades, until it was so clean and tidy you'd hardly notice the bad decorating!
By the time, i'd bathed and washed up, it was 11pm, i fell into bed one very happy bunny, i'm so glad all the upheaval's over.......imagine what i'd be like if i was 8 months gone, the trauma would have killed me!!!

Tuesday 21st
I was on top form (and have been ever since), felt so bad for being a witch to Andy, so paid for his jeans doing at the tailors as a treat (we're simple folk!).
Can't remember Tuesday's work day....must've been good!
But had a lovely night.........Mmm clean house, pie and chips....reight do!
Andy took all his Dad's equipment home and i toddled off to bed with baby bump at approx 11pm, trashy mag in hand and cat under my arm.

Wednesday 22nd
Work was fine, nowt out of the ordinary, we had a big office clear out and i got to hoist some good stuff.....went to get David 2 pink grapefruit at lunch from M&S and got a parking ticket £30.98, expensive grapefruit!

Arranged to go to flicks with Steven last night, quick dip in bath tub at t.time, pie peas and mint sauce, chatted to Mum for 1/2hr......she was distraught DP had done the nursery and said Dad would be most put out.........?? oh me!
Steven and i got to one bursting at the seams showcase cinemas (Orange Wednesdays are always rammed), 8.05pm showing of Borat, funny as fook, how we laughed (felt bad as AP wanted to see it too but??!).

Dropped Bro home at 10ish, switched everything off downstairs once home and read in bed, it makes me tired going out mid week, was asleep before 11.30pm.

Thursday 22nd
Oooh busy day, shopping and spending a plenty..........in works time, yes i know!
Spent the morning taking bank and post, cashed David's lottery (42 lucky dips to win a tenner, nobba!). Then called in Dino's to pay our works Xmas do deposits.
Booked hairdressers appointment for same day, then Oracle and bowling lanes for Friday night.
Also nipped in waterstones and asked loudly where Ricky Tomlinson's new book "The world of Karl Pilkington" was, when in actual fact the author is Ricky Gervais! doh!!
Crown point at lunchtime, Sarah's bday pressie from Next and posh Chrimco cards, then went mad on shimmery party clothes in George at Asda, i've seen the light............ How cheap is it? Gold cropped jacket, glitzy sequinned top, black chiffon dress and angora cardigan..........£62.
Sprinted back to the car, wi me bargains under my arm in case some scally had away with them, am v.pleased and will mix and match said articles to cover all the following 4 events.
Woz's 30th, Works Christmas party, Xmas eve and Carl and Nicola's wedding!

Need to call in Tesco's on the way home, get 2 brothers thier choice of whiskey, then Chrimbo shopping will be well over 1/2 covered. Ace!

So am happy as a sand boy, Friday is knocking......weekend at long last :o) Andy no overtime Friday or Saturday, so slumber party tonight, might have a curry.
Will leave the boy in bed in the morning and try not to be too sad.
Then activies galore this weekend, bowling,burgers, (i have noticed that all we do is eat out lately, twice last weekend and twice this) swimming, birthday tea, then darn Cleck with Matthew and Sarah 3 bellies, there's some disco on at the club, but Matt's not up for it.... me and baby Porrait aren't into disco dancing either at the moment.............imagine! dancing sober, wrong wrong wrong!

I do nowt but moan

2006-11-20T12:48:00.000Z

Hiya

I'm here again waffling on about decorating and being knocked up, god you must be bored!!

The weekend flew as usual, but am in quite high spirits this morning to say it's a Monday, after all..........what's to be glum about? Chrimbo in 5 weeks, healthy, happy, baby on the way, good friends and family, not skint!! If i can conquer world peace before close of play today, we've cracked it!

Friday 17th, i left at 3pm for my "doctors appointment", home to a sleeping Porrait on the couch, all spare room void of wallpaper, he's a little grafter!!! he'd eaten the cats chicken in a sandwich for lunch, instead of cooking the bacon i'd left him though.......the lazy article.

He left to get changed, i loaded car up and went to fetch him 20 mins later.....1st stop Marlo's, raided Jim's garage and hoisted pasting table, gloss, emulsion, brush etc, quick cup of tea with Mum, she was stood in the dark when we arrived smoking in the kitchen so the traffic couldn't see in (she's lost it).
2nd stop Al Murads, picked wallpaper and other equipment needed.......Andy paid (good).
3rd stop Warren's to drop off Karaoke machine (only Caz and Molly in), quick chat then 4th stop Tesco's, Andy chatted to Mason at the end of the aisle while i filled trolley mainly full of fruit juice.
Home James, unloaded all car, realising i'd forgotten to drop Dean's tool off.
I was up for staying in, cooking and eating in my pyjamas...........like Waynetta slob. Andy wanted to go out to eat, so i got in the bath, dressed and put my face on and we went darn Lillibets for 2for1 steaks.......ooh it wa full o'bockers!!!

Home at 8.30ish, p.j's :o) was happy as a pig in shit, watching drek on t.v, eating chocolate trifle with fire on full, with my trashy magazines on stand by.
Bed midnight, jiggered after a long week!!

Saturday 18th, Dave arrived at 9am, i quickly showed him the room, while retrieving Maisie from up the chimney where she'd shot when Andy had tried to get her out from under the bed............i then left for the swimming baths...fooking hell, i'm not going at that time on a morning again, it was full of athletes (come on lets get to the baths early doors, swim a mile, embrace the day.........our bodies are temples......blah blah, cunts!!!), i waddled in, swam 30 lengths, v.slowly......everyone was getting in my way, children move for an adult length swimmer...grown ups don't, not even if you're with baby, and there was two buffoons doing front crawl splashing me everytime they passed!!! grrr!

Home, Dave was throng, made me and AP a full English, off he trots to rugby.......Dave left at 1ish, all glossing and ceiling done, but bedroom looking like Bosnia........oh me!
Those of you who know me.....well saying i don't like mess is an understatement, it actually makes me poorly!

Ran past spare room with my eyes shut, had a nice bath, then got out with shampoo in my eyes as someone was not knocking, but Banging on the door. Top of stairs, moi dressed in a towel, noone there, back in bath tutting!!! Had a mince pie, did a wash load, then fell asleep on the sofa for ooh 20mins, until some cunt started banging on the door again........answered it, looking like thunder, some chinky cunt from NPower, well unlike Rach who was too polite to get rid of the double glazing salesman last week, i don't suffer fools gladly... told him in no uncertain terms to go away please, he looked horrified at my rudeness. God i was livid!!

Got ready into my ladies at Laura Ashley outfit, then nipped to Mum's for some Evo stick and lining paper.......don't ask!, Their Brummy friends were there along with Ruth and Auntie Gill..stayed 1/2hr, gave Auntie G a lift, picked up Andy at the club, took Gill home, then talked t'inlaws while Andy had a shave, then we went to meet rest of Wags and Co in the Commi for Debbie's birthday night out!!!

Couple of drinks in there, John gave me his seat bless him, chatted to Clare and Caroline (who was out to get blathered!!), 4 taxi's arrived, moi and Andy followed on in the car, parked in Huddersfield train station carpark and crossed the road over to Mas!! What a fooking rip off.....to cut a long story short, Tapa's is not for us!!!! Me and Andy sat with Blacky at one end of the table next to Guy and Maria & Kim and Wayne, some randoms in the middle..i.e...Bev and co., with Spazzy Ange, Baz, Debbie, Marshy, John, Claire, Chris, Katie, Caroline and Co up t'uther end.
It was £16 a head with a £30 service charge, the meal was over in.....20 minutes.......i kid you not, we were like locusts. It was fine, for a pre-boozing snack, but rubbish value if you were looking forward to a meal, i liked every dish, there just wasn't enough of it!!!

We all schlecked across town in the fooking freezing cold night, teeth chattering, dodging the gritters, to some chinese wine bar, i had my 5th soft drink of the night, everyone was on thier way, Andy being no exception, he was fading fast after 5 stellas and 3 pints of carling so took him off home, Brrrrr! back to train station, AP in just a t.shirt......silly boy.
Home through Fartown and Brighouse (course we weren't lost) and bed for midnight again, as another early morning the next day.

Sunday 19th.....awake but not up at 8am, pegged some washing out at 9am, then Dave was back at 1/2 past, we just ligged about watching Love Actually eating bacon sarnies, letting him graft. The wallpapering, is well? 1/2 done and not up to Jim's standard....that's all i'm saying!!!
I stripped the bed and did a further 3 wash loads, donning all wet washing on airer in the middle of the fooking living room, oh my house is like a pig sty, i don't like it!
Dave packed up for the day (note, packed up but didn't tidy up), i stomped upstairs, Vac in hand switched it on but it wasn't sucking anything up as someone had blocked up the pipe with bits of wallpaper on Friday while i was at work, by this time my head was going to go, fixed it, hoovered up, tidied round, put all equipment in one corner so it looks 1/2 decent, studied wallpaper and oh me!!!

Andy let the sky man in, i shouted at him for putting tin trunk on the clean bed clothes, god i was foul, almost insisted he went to the pub to meet Woz, Blacky, Deano, Waitey and his brother to watch the footie, love him, he was looking all sad as i was being a ratty, tired bitch.......he was trying to cheer me up by saying "ooh only 7hrs till Lost"........bless!
Booted him out the door, had another bath, then fell asleep on the sofa for 2 hours dribbling like a pensioner!
Awoke to a txt from Steven, got a wriggle on and had a lovely night, calm restored.........made veggie rice, pitta and chilli, flicked through BabiesRus and Mothercare catalogues, watching IAC, then the long awaited double Lost..my oh my!

So that's the weekend, busy as hell, work today is fine, or should i say my mood is?!! feel like an ungrateful cow for being a whinger yesterday, will be as pleasant as can be tonight when Dave comes up to wallpaper again, might go to Aquanatal with their Sarah to keep out of the way, if i can be assed.
I want it finished and tidy and clean and back to normal, i'm getting headache thinking about it..........deep breaths!
So the start of another week, going out with Steven Wednesday, then Katy and Grant Friday, then Sarah's birthday Do Saturday...........lots of relaxing inbetween, to maintain a busy but not hectic social life as i'm not as young and agile as i used to be.
More old, jaded, howge bellied, a little bit chubby and a little bit hairy, quite stubborn and abrasive, but a loyal friend till the death if people are right with me.

Phew

2006-11-17T14:54:00.000Z

What a relief, got my blood test results back and they were LOW risk for Downs and negative for Edwards syndrome and spina bifida.......the percentage ratio was more than we could hope for, my age taken into account!

No amniocentesis needed.........

ACE!!!

What else do i know?

This week has been lousy at work, David divorcing his wife, being on a diet and business being poor, does not bode well for a happy working atmosphere.
It's fooking awful, roll on Xmas.

Monday:
Called at Dean and Rach's on the way home and picked up baby changing unit, spent the evening erecting it and chatting to Matt, after my favourite healthy tea of pie, chips and mushy peas..........Mmmm! magazine reading and slumber quite early.

Tuesday:
Went to Mozzy's at lunch, Hunslet Morrison's is SO common, also nipped to TKmaxx and purchased a musical vibrating baby rocker.....it's v.cute.
Work dire, so nice to get home......called at M&D's on the journey home and took Dad a box full of toys to wrap for the church Santa Xmas fair thingy!
Didn't stay as Mum looked forlorn and said "i was coming to yours tonight", home for 6.30pm, quick bath and cats in, had a very pleasant night, Andy ligged on sofa (Marlo telling him to put his feet down), Mum fagging it at the table flicking through the Mothercare catalogue.............Royale family eat your heart out.
Peace was restored at 10pm when they both departed, Mum leaving the paint stripper for us.

Wednesday:
Work unbearable, Leigh and David had a howge slanging match, cancelled deal losing company 30k profit and me Â£500 comm.......fook!!! i got out of the way and went to White Rose at dinnertime, saw Kay again, madness!!! bought nowt as by the time i'd found a parking spot, stared agog at the queues in Debenham's (20% off day), chatted to Kay and looked at the extortionate prices in Monsoon, it was time to go back to work.
Drove home stressed, with a thumping head......arrived at safe haven cat sanctuary at 6ish, fish for tea and Andy came up at 1/2 time in the footie.
We are SO loving i'm a celebrity, but were both in high spirits anyhow at the nice letter from the NHS......yippee!
Did nowt, just ligged about planning weekend..blah blah!

Thursday:
Better day at work, David thinks i'm going to be working from home the 9mths i'm off.......hahhhaaa! told Andy, he was under the same impression.....oops!
Readmans at lunch, to utilise my 10% off voucher, got Dad some Xmas slippers, moi 2 skirts (elasticated waists) and some full briefs grannye pants, the shame).
We were very busy bees in the evening, i sided all shopping etc, bathed and prepared tea, AP came at 7, we got ladders from shed and electric sander out, then set too completely emptying spare room (Andy chuntering, it's the end of an era..we should have phoned KF to see if she wanted a last shag in it, for old times sake).
So we threw away curtain pole, curtains, lampshade, pictures, what a waste........put bookcase and chairs down cellar, then the remaining furniture in our room, that doesn't look like a junk shop now.........at all! Told Meg to chose which toys she wanted to keep and lozzed the rest!

Showed Andy how to use wallpaper stripper and all finished in 1 1/2hrs.........tea and IAC, munching wine gums, bedfordshire after Catherine Tate, past baron spare room soon to be nursery, stumbled over junk to try and get to pit, got jiggy and slept 8 hrs, with 2 wee breaks!

Friday:
Am in high spirits today apart from my basic salary in pay packet, oh lordy lord! it'll be a small turkey this year!
Made AP a cup'o char to wake him and get him out of bed to start stripping and sanding, off to work for me,wearing my new big pants i'd sneakily tried to wriggle into (wriggle into? i could have jumped off the wardrobe into them they're that big)... am leaving early today for a... cough splutter....Doctors appointment, need to go pick wallpaper before it shuts, call and get paint and pasting table from Dad's, drop karaoke machine and Warrens and take tool back to Dean's, whether we get take-away for tea or eat out is yet to be decided, but Children in need is on!!??!

Hectic weekend planned, Dave P is coming early doors tomorrow and Sunday to decorate, sky man also visiting Sunday (must get some mince pies in for all guests!!??!), swimming for me, rugby for the boy........
Tapas tomorrow evening in Huddersfield for Deb's birthday and Sunday is open, after Dave has done his stuff, i may make a Sunday dinner, or go see Bond........ooh the world is our oyster is it not!!???

Just the right balance

2006-11-13T11:45:00.000Z

The weekend has passed by again, in a flurry of partying, fag smoke, hangovers, memory loss and great expense.

Oh that's right that's the old me.

My new born again Fraulein Maria type persona spent her weekend like: well read it........

Friday 10th: Came to work, had a really good day....it was a hoot, we were all laughing and joking like the good old days. Went to the Crown point at lunch and bumped into KAY in Next (my word, not seen her for a year), she burst into tears when she saw my bump, couldn't apologise enough for not keeping in touch and was falling over herself to make it up to me, by giving me all Wills baby stuff (yes i should think so!!!).
Never got to try the dress on i'd picked for Nic's wedding, back to work.
Home at 5.30pm, quick shower, had some tea and went to collect Andy, who'd ligged around all day watching the box and doing his exercises at JJB......the lazy article!!!!

Oooh yeah randomist (if that's a word?) message on answer phone ever, Chris (Kay's husband) had left a message saying congratulations and Andy had to ring if he needed any advice, (they've never met)....how strange!!!??!
Anyhow:
Watched Saw III at the showcase...Jesus Mary Mother o' God! Not for the faint hearted.
My pop was off so Andy had to swap it twice, home for 10.15pm, dropped AP at his as he was up Saturday at 6.30am, to watch the Rugby league!!
I stayed up till 12, reading, tap-dancing and eating apple pie!

Saturday 11th: I can't seem to shake my feathers on a weekend, I'm like the Duracell bunny running on cheap zinc batteries, got out of my pit at 10.30am, changed bedding and put a wash on, let cats out, Tesco's for French stick and 2 extra pints of milk to make trifle and a paper to see if i'd won the Euromillions (i didn't).
To the baths, i'd read it was better to do backstroke, so i alternated 5 breastroke to one back, you've never seen anything like it! Jeez, i was fooked after 45mins, stumbled out and into the changing rooms, beet faced.

Home, cats in, Dean phoned to say they weren't coming for chilli....more washing, had a bacon and egg sarnie, bath and leisure wear, read paper, made trifle otherwise milk would have gone to waste, made chilli as rushmooms were wilting and froze 5 portions.
Was having a lovely day as Saturdays are clearly my favourite.......when the heavens opened and so did the roof. Literally, rain was running down the wall at the top of the stairs and water had collated under wallpaper and formed a huge bubble, which i pierced and squeezed like a big spot. I was not a happy bunny and was seen running across the landing with towels, like someone was about to give birth. Phoned Alan, the rain subsided, but i was still moggy, i don't like things going wrong.

Andy phoned from club and i acted like a maungey 14yr old, until i decided to go meet him and have some shandy! had quite a pleasant time, only Spug and Katy there in the girls until Claire came to join us, nice chats, we left at 9pm, Andy was swaying after 6 bottles of Stella and i wanted my chilli............Mmmm! so home James, Andy had hotdogs, and we dived into the trifle, glad that guests hadn't turned up. Parkinson, nearly peed my pants at Peter Kay.
Andy went to bed, i read a bit then went up, he was flaked out, not a stitch on, on top of bedding as the heating was on full, it was like a sauna up there i could hardly breath, dropped off at 2ish, to be awoken at 6am by hot blooded male, deary me! slept till 10am, was then informed in a distressed voice that the sky box in the bedroom wasn't working! Fooking Sky and fooking sky engineers, have had them out at least 4 times in as many weeks. What a fooking liberty!!!??!

Told Andy it could stay broken for me and snuggled down under quilt, until he came up with mugs of coffee, the phone and the Sky helpline number...........Grrrr!
We decided we wouldn't have breakfast and spoil our Sunday lunch, then we decided we'd have a small bacon butty as we probably wouldn't last and there'd be a wait at the Angel.

Wolfed down sarnie, i got ready, went to G&D's, Andy showered and changed, i chatted to Gill in living room, until Dave came back from the bookies and offered his decorating services to do the nursery...oh fooking hell, my Dad's not happy about me and Andy stripping paper, what the fook will he say if Dave does it, OH they'll be hell on, but didn't want to offend Dave so said that would be lovely, truth is i'd rather Andy and his Dad did it over a couple of weekends, rubbed paintwork down and got it right, than my Dad squeezed the job in between, painting some mosque or other and did a shabby job.

I've going to leave the men to wrestle this one out!
Collected John and Claire at 1.30pm, they were hung-over and Hank Marvin (their words), went to the old Angel (Toby Carvery at Morley), 40 minute wait, was glad we'd had the bacon buttie!!!!! had a couple of drinks and a chin wag, i really like John and Claire, felt a bit guilty we'd not invited G&D but Andy was saying "you wouldn't ask your parents!!?!".

Well nice fodder, we all agreed that £8 was a small price to pay, for not having to wash 100's of pans up and slave over the stove for 4hrs, flapping that the joint won't be nice..blah di blah! lazy feckers we are!
Dropped J&C home, Claire said John couldn't go to the pub as she needed help with some work she'd brought home, So Andy chelped on about what a mug he was......under the thumb and all that! SEZ!!!

Dropped Andy home, and raced to my abode, quickly donned on p.j's and got all my cheesey mags out, then Andy showed up!!???! put the football on........struth, neigh bother, we both polished off the trifle, then fell asleep on the sofas.
Watched Simpsons, he left at 7pm, i had a bath, clean p.j's and nibbled all night on festive nuts, fruit cake, melon, grapes and sports mixtures..........so healthy!

Monday morning again, 6 weeks today he'll have been.
And I'll be 24 weeks pregnant.........jeez!
Plus i'll only have 8 weeks left at work........yippee!

Lots of social events coming up on the calender:
Tapas, birthdays, meals, wedding, Xmas do's, Anomoly scan (will need to dress up for that....obviously)........ooh lordy lord, best get to the White Rose at lunch and get myself some sparkly sandals and a dress!

Ooh yeah i had a mad dream last night i was riding along Halifax road on a big white horse..looked it up this morning, it's a dream of your own wedding! watch this space! Mwahhhh!!!

Friday 10th

2006-11-10T12:58:00.000Z

I'm emailing and I've nothing to say.
I've exhausted all my favourite websites, don't know where Matt is, Ruth has txt, she's at home.......Mark has passed his driving test, well done Mark!

I've done a couple of hours work and already eaten my bagel i'd brought for lunch..........
It's gonna be a long day!

I'm going to go to the Crown point at lunchtime and look for some Christmas present ideas........they've already started playing Xmas tunes in Boots...WTF?
Can't sit in the office all day you'd go stir crazy.

Been quite pleasant this week, truth be told....part timer that i am, when you've been off a day or too, do you always work doubly hard when you get back or is that just me?
But it's been fine, found a bit of gear, new consignment of CD box sets coming in next Monday which is a good job commission wise for me, the rate I'm spending! oops! Andy's saving like Scrooge for the baby, moving in and Xmas.........i'm just blowing all my dough like Viv Nicholson!! hahhaaaa

Evening wise, erm Wednesday..called at Mums on the way home, i'd phoned Dad in advance to tell him to get the wallpaper stripper out of the garage, but when i arrived he was asleep and Mum couldn't be bothered looking for it.....grr! she said she'd drop it in before weekend, it's weekend now and it hasn't turned up!!! I wouldn't mind but Dad borrowed mine and lost it! the brute! home for 7pm and the usual routine, phoned RMS for 20 mins, had a pizza and moi and AP ligged around watching t.v and chatting excitedly about baby and Chrimbo related topics.

Thursday, ooh i went and bought some perfume and aftershave stocking fillers yesterday, how organised am i? also went on a mad one in Morrisons, why my shopping bill has doubled is anyones guess and i'm certainly not eating £40's worth of cake a week.

Last night, i called at Rach's on the way home to take Megan some drawers for her bedroom, they were an early Xmas present but we are swapping for her changing unit now.........good eh? Megan looked smart as a carrott in some pink shoes and a chord jacket, she'd clearly been for an interview, had a quick chat then Dean wanted fetching from Scholes, by the time we got back and got drawers from back of car i had to get home t'other half.
Let cats in, he took bin to main road, i bathed, he read daily star, spent yonks cooking healthy tea of mashed carrot swede, spuds, fish, leeks and sprouts, then we spent the night watching Waking Ned on video, while sky plussing Catherine Tate.
Bed not too late for a preview of the ashes, reading crap mags and a bit of how's ya father!

This morning he'd no overtime on, so got to lie-in while i had to get up and dressed in the cold and come to work, he was trying not to look too smug.......the little blighter!

So as i said work is v.labourious today, off out shortly, have recieved some designer baby sleep suit samples and a blanket this morning, so i'll be hoisting them before tea.

Weekend plans as follows:
Saw III tonight if i don't welsh out coz of the cold (no i must make an effort).

Tomorrow, erm swimming, making a chilli, starting stripping paper when Marlo show's up with me tools.

Sunday NO PLANS! heaven, or are we going out for Sunday dinner with John and Clare?
Oh yeah i think we are!

Have a lovely weekend y'all.

Last week..at last

2006-11-08T11:12:00.000Z

I'm here don't worry.

Am trying to cast my mind back on a whole weeks events.

Wednesday 1st, Steven came for tea, it was very pleasant....i don't see him very often, we laughed like drains all night and ate like kings.

Thursday 2nd, Had my triple bloods doing (oh me!), on a plus note, all other bloods and BP fine, heard the babies heartbeat....it was SO loud, was v.excited!!! evening........Aporrait came up, can't remember what we did, Catherine Tate was on, i had a curry!!??!.........ooh my memory's shot!

Friday 3rd, called at the Mother's on the way home, gave her, her birthday gifts, stayed till 7pm chatting, she keeps telling me to lay off the cake...pah! what does she know!
Home to a waiting AP, i had a bath, he put sky sports on, i was so tired and past cooking, i had a pork pie, some crisps and an M&S bakewell tart and later suffered for not having my recommended 5 a day.
Early to bed, we are talking 10.15pm.....struth!

Saturday 4th, i was up early, stared into space a while, then gave myself a kick up the ass and got going with my jobs, put tint on hair, while it was processing, i stripped bed, sided washing, got quilt from boot and soon realised a service wash in Beeston means, just that..they hadn't fooking dried it, pegged it out. Made some chocolate muffins for Sunday, then showered and shot to Mothers at 12.15pm, as i arrived she was pulling out of her drive as i was late..........oops!
Made it to Lillibets with no minutes to spare for Marlo's 60th Birthday Girlie Lunch, Hayley, Rach, Auntie Gill and Ruth were already there.....very pleasant couple of hours spent, but boy did we eat.........felt uncomfortably full to the stage i could have spewed my ring up in the carpark.......who's idea was it to buy the £5.95 chocolate monster desserts?
Marlo loved all her presents, so that's all that matters.
Threw her out at home, then got back and brought quilt in from line, hung it over 4 chairs in front of fire and promptly fell asleep like some random pensioner.

Woke up, cats had jumped on drying quilt and made a den.......put back on bed, Andy phoned, the rugby had been cancelled and could i pick him up at home?
Fetched him at 6ish, G&D were fussing me in the kitchen, got to Drub club bonfire, it was alright, i'm getting a bit stalled of these family bashes when it's not even Xmas.....tee hee!
No truth is my leg was playing up, i think i have sciatica in my left leg, so i had to sit inside, hence me and Andy missed all the fireworks. Dean, Rach and Megan went into town, probably Regal...........me and Andy nipped home for beers, cake and crisps.

Then we went to Mum and Dad's with Ruth, Mark and Auntie Gill for Trivial Pursuits, Marlo won, but it was her birthday, by 11pm we were flagging, poor Andy had been working since 6.30am......overtime, bringing cash in for'bairn. He'd had 4 stellas and his eyes were shutting. Home James and straight to bed, well after i found a slug in the kitchen and lozzed it into the back garden, fed the cats, switched all the lights off ya di ya.......so by midnight we were both in post coital slumber.

Sunday 5th, i SO wanted a lie in, what did Andy do at 9am? he puts the cricket on without sound so as not to wake me, thing is i'd heard him go to the loo, put t.v on, pick up the remote, get a drink of water and have a full conversation with Meg.....so i was wide awake, meaning every time they changed frames it was like a fooking disco in me bedroom........(i'm so glad i have partner and a baby on the way as i was destined to die a grumpy old spinster).
Got up tutting, made coffees, Andy went to the Gym, i put the joint in, did more washing and nipped to tesco, before returning home, to peel 100 weight of winter veg.
I hadn't even sat down, when the parents arrived at 4ish, the dinner was okay, not as nice as when Ruth and Mark came, we were all stuffed and sat round in contented silence watching Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, they left at 8.30pm, it took forever to wash up and side away, me and AP were pooped, i had headache (again), made Mondays salad and fell into bed before 11pm.

Monday 6th, after a horrid nights sleep, still with headache, txt Leigh saying i wouldn't be in.
Eventually got comfy, might need to have my leg off like Heather Mills...not!
And slept till late morning...........heaven, AP txt, told him i was off... bless him, he was saying, "love you, take it easy, put your feet up and watch t.v."
Had quite a nice day actually, you know preparing for my maternity leave..........ate salad, took 2 binliners of books to oxfam, called in petshop for nuts and seeds and found a tenner......reight do!
Called in Tesco's and spent it on cake, tee hee!
Home, ate cake, spent 1 hr putting up babies drawers.
Read mags, watched drek on t.v..played with cats and had a lovely evening pottering about, wasn't well later in the evening (probably serve me right) but baby doesn't seem to like certain foods.
Bed at midnight, feeling rough as old boots.

Tuesday 7th, took a 2nd sabatical, felt rotten all day, was worried i would be fired, still....up at 11am, chose some wallpaper for the nursery from Almyrads, then went to Batley Mill village and bought my 1st Christmas present which i want to keep for myself...i might do actually! Hahhhaa!
Home, had a sandwich, bathed, napped, read mags, filled bird feeders.........people say you'd be bored at home.......well i fooking love it, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
Watched t.v till Andy came up at night, he'd made a rick at work and was upset he'd be in trouble today, so maudled him all night....ooh he's a worrier, not like me who was convinced i was sacked today after having my 4th day off sick while pregnant!

So we were both quite glum for the evening, watched too fat to walk, what a winer that Hayley is?
Bed early and back to it today.....washed 100 mugs, returned to 176 emails and David is fine, i think he expects i will be off now and again, if he starts... i'll just start talking about vaginas, amniotic sacs, discharge, leeking nipples and stuff till he clams up!

Feeling Fat Fat Fat

2006-11-01T12:33:00.000Z

As apposed to Hot Hot Hot
If my boobs get any bigger, they are going to take over the world.

Why don't they just get big at the last hurdle, when you're ready t'feed Bairn........I'm going to suggest it at the next meeting.

I haven't done anything this week.

Monday:
The highlight of the day was taking the winter quilt for a service wash at Beeston Launderette in my lunch hour...........scareey!!
Andy phoned, he was fine at his new job, he knew everyone and noone had eaten his lunch or nipped him. Phew!!

My evening consisted of, erm..........oh, 1 hr in the kitchen dissecting a melon, grating cheese for lunches, making Tuesdays salad, then lamb chops, mash and trimmings for tea. So healthy.....i fail to mention zee chocolate hobnobs i was scoffing on my way up to bed.
Didn't do anything else, no t.v downstairs, so took me mags, some ribena and watched the box in my boudoir, asleep quite early, Matt said he was phoning, but he was asleep propped up like a horse, watching Mastermind.

Tuesday:
I lied to work and said i was at the midwife........when in actual fact it's tomorrow, didn't dare say it was the fooking Sky engineer again as Leigh would have been straight to the holiday chart with his stickers. So nice engineer phoned at 8am, to say he'd be with me between 10am & 1pm, had a lie in till 9.30am, dressed, vacced living room, man arrived at 10.30am, locked Meg in kitchen, she meowed furiously while sticking her tiny paw through the gap in the 70's serving hatch, like some feline horror movie.....................Pet Cemetery maybe!!!??!

He was up his ladders fiddling with my dish, swapped my box and off he trots, i arrived at work at 11.30am, then proceeded to be glum for the rest of the day........me not like work no more!!! collected quilt, ate my salad, then quietly beavered away for the rest of the day, emailing the Chemist and Druggist.
Mum phoned to say I've not to call round as they've all got a bug and they don't want baby Porray to get it.

Not fussed about me!

Decided i'd go into Leeds after work and get David a hamper from M&S for his birthday Friday and get Mum's 60th birthday present, it took me 10mins to get to the end of the street, my road rage kicked in and i abandoned shopping expedition, fuck the family and their birthdays (it actually means i need to go in my lunch hour today), boo! Home, Andy turned up early........his new v.manual job means he's too tired for the gym, he layed on the sofa all night looking cream crackered...poor baby! let him watch the footie, until Supernanny came on, we both love it!

I made todays salad in the kitchen, Andy's peering over my shoulder saying "are you putting any ham in it? it looks nice"..do you think he's trying to train me to make his pack up for when we co-habit? fish for tea, shared with my 4-legged friends, followed by melon!! Swallowed a chocolate mini roll whole while washing up, then returned to living room looking all serene, making sure i'd no incriminating chocolate in my eyebrows.

Talked non stop all night till Andy looked drained and his ears were ringing, he left at 10pm, bedfordshire for my late night magazine reading.

The weeks plans?
Braving town at lunch, M&S, then to fetch Marlene's birthday jewels (i hope to fook she doesn't leave them at the bottom of the slide).
Am entertaining youngest brother tonight, i have a plate for us all to sign for Mum's birthday.......Steven thinks it's a shit idea and she'd prefer a Bill ashtray as they're her 2 favourite passtimes.

So i'm making chilli, shaving his back, getting him to sign plate and getting some cash off him for Marlo's present. Fun fun fun!

Tomorrow, i'm at the midwife early doors, having my bloods doing, oh me! am scared and worried and upset, Andy asked me what time the appointment was (i thought he'd got time off work to come with me) was just about to leap on his knee and smother him with kisses, when he said "My Mum says she'll watch out for you"........cheers!

Need to see other 3 siblings at some point to sign commemorative plate.
Flicks Friday.... or staying in, in front of the fire doing nowt if i have my way.
Mum's birthday and Bonfire Saturday.
Then Sunday the parents are coming for Sunday dinner. Might do a pig roast!!!

I am too busy, i have 1 million jobs to do in the back of my mind.
Need to:
1. Do roots.
2. Paint cracks i've filled by door.
3. Get Mike to come do heating.
4. Start stripping baby's room.
5. Pick wallpaper.
6. Schlek more stuff to charity.
7. Buy and install 1000 things for baby.
8. Put up Christmas tree
9. Pick a turkey.
10. Give birth

Am i getting ahead of myself?

Another hectic weekend

2006-10-30T12:01:00.000Z

I'm jiggered, am sat at my desk vowing to have a serene, relaxing weekend the one coming up!

Last Thursday i couldn't get out of here quick enough, have decided Leigh is a cunt, he's been stickering the holiday chart up with glee to show David on his return from fishing, that I've had time off for the dentist, scan, sky man, funeral etc. I'm livid, if they weren't valid excuses i could understand it.

So Thursday evening Andy brought all his weekends tackle up, i called at Mums on the way home, we both got to the abode at 7pm, me unloading shopping, him taking wheelie bin up and sweeping leaves from the path.
I had a long soak in the bath, chilli and rice for tea, AP had resumed his normal position of sofa pressing and channel surfing (i'd like to meet a girl, who flicks through 15 channels in the adverts). We watched Primal fear DVD, the Catherine Tate we'd sky plus'd bed late and kalled till 1am in bed, was exhausted Friday morning, when i awoke an hour earlier than i needed.

Showers and bacon butties, at St Luke's for 9.30am, it goes without saying the service and the crematorium were very upsetting, everyone piled back to the club at lunchtime, where Mick Collins was rushed off his little feet, Spug, Rach, Dean, Our Ruth and Steven, Andy, Mark etc were all firing into the pints, grrrr! i sampled all the J20 flavours as i've never liked lager.

Lots of laughing and rowdiness ensued, said farewell to all family and dragged 1/2 cut boyfriend away from Waitey and the bar, homeward bound, to a broken Sky+ box (that lasted a whole week, i told you it's me and electrical items) I'm flapping around phoning the sky helpline, while Andy had taken supplies upstairs and set up camp in the bedroom, where he's happily watching the darts (sky multiroom, who's idea?).

I had another bath, donned on hen night costume, said Au revoir to happy as a pig in shit boyf, who couldn't wait to see the back of me, him and Meg are now under quilt......grinning..........i SO wanted to stay home, felt drained and tired, the last thing i needed was 27 pissed up party revellers and a night out in York....a sober one at that!

Fetched Katy at 4.30pm, made good timing and we were outside the Encore Ramada at 5.45pm, i decided to abandon car and risk a ticket, rather than schleck round looking for an NCP, phoned Nicola, who was out buying Evian for the next morning.

Sat in the room, Katy was rooming with Nic and her wicked step sister Claire who was so far up her own arse it was untrue, everyone met in the bar at 7pm, Debbie was ever so apologetic about guessing i was pregnant at Guy and Maria's engagement, everyone were drinking the bar dry, i had 2 Pepsi's and a packet of salt and vinegar.

Then we all left restaurant bound, flashing devils horns and blow up tridents in hand, 28 matching t.shirts, Mason's Mum was saying "congratulations and how's your Auntie Gill baring up?" i was nodding politely as i didn't have a fooking clue who she was.

We arrived at Ask, 15 minutes walk later, Caroline had already taken her shoes off. All the club wags were at one end, i was in-between, Caz and Claire, Claire is v excited about being an Auntie, we chatted all night about the Porray brothers..........funny!
To say i was so hesitant, it turned out to be a good night, i really enjoyed myself...had good chats with Katie, Claire, Kim, Katy......Debbie was mullered, farquahar and run out of money, well drinking 10 bottles of Peroni at £3 a shout? I leant her the money i had left.........the meal was fine, a bit pizza express like, Bruschetta, Tropicana pizza, chocolate fudge cake and ice-cream (for the baby) i coughed up my Score and Claire and Katy walked me back to the car at 11.30pm, to only 1 parking ticket...reight do!, got in the car and sped off into the night.
Home at 12.15am, Andy was in the same position i'd left him in, he'd been to the Chinese and even eaten that in his squat!!??! , got ready for bed, fed cats, then we talked till 1.30am, TOO many late nights! i need my sleep.

Saturday:
Andy was up and about after jogging (i pretended not to notice he'd been watching the England rugby match with the sound off since 8am), off he went to rugby, i climbed back into bed, thinking i'd have another hour, awaking at 2.15pm............oops!
By the time, i'd fed cats, stripped bed, put the washer on, had a coffee, sided clothes from airer, mopped kitchen floor and changed, it was 3.30pm when i got to the pool, swam till it shut at 4.30pm, then rushed round like a loon, putting on clean bedding, had a bite to eat, more washing, tumble drying, bathed, got ready, booked the table at Aldo's, phoned Matt, nipped to tescos for bread, bacon and rushmooms, made it just in time for Andy at 7.10pm, he'd had 4 pints and was being all lairy.......struth!!!

Got chatting to Gill about baby activity centres in the ELC, she's also arranged for me to go to Aquanatal classes with Andy's cousin Sarah (who's baby is due the day before ours)........cheers!!!!, I've met her once, i'd love to be her new best mate.........it'll be kind of nice actually, sharing common ground, but i don't want you to think I've gone soft!

Chatted for ages, Andy was gassing to Dave about today's rugby match, meaning we were late to Aldo's....oops!
Pino wasn't bothered, the other 11 were upstairs, NOT late, unlike us......we were seated in no time, Sarah, Sera, Viv and Matt at one end, Ruth, Tina, Spug and Hayley in the middle, Moi, Beth, Rach, Andy (who'd turned into a gurning gobshite) and Auntie Gill at the other end.
Lovely meal, i made light work of my Melon, mango & prawns, Farfalle alla moda, 2 pieces of tomato garlic bread, glass of red wine and chocolate profiteroles........split the bill at £20 a head, the people who had steaks and chicken dishes got a good deal, unlike poor Beth and Ruth who'd ordered kiddies chicken goujons....oh dear!!! Still no one grumbled...........i was full as a butchers pup!! Auntie Gill went off home, us remaining dozen went to Spoons, i had a J20, Andy couldn't finish his pint (he said he was full, he was drunk as a lord truth be told).

Was a tad embarrassed he was telling Auntie Gill, Rach and Beth about the morning our baby was conceived, how it was a "rush job" as we were off to Brid..........the shame!! then when he'd got himself an audience he was off on one, who needs Steven, when anyone can make me the butt of their jokes???!!!

Dragged him off home and threw him in the bedroom with the sky remote......... out of harms way!!!
I read mags downstairs, watched living t.v. (which is the only channel we can get downstairs) changed every clock in the house and listened to him heckling the darts "go on lad"........
Waited for the snoring, then snook into bed, nearly passing out at the lager fumes! how times have changed!!??!

Sunday:
Was grateful of the extra hour, SSMS, full English breakfasts, i phoned the fooking sky man again and arranged for an engineer to come out on Tuesday (daren't tell Leigh he'll be straight to the holiday chart with his stickers).

Got dressed, sorted the cats, Andy took the car home for clean clothes and came back for me at 11.30am and we hit the M62 Manchester bound, followed Matty S's destructions and were at his new suave flat for 12.20pm, HOW POSH? had a guided tour, quick coffee and we set off into town, 1st stop Mothercare world, showed Andy the pram i'd picked, cooed over cradles, baby baths, cots etc, then headed to the Centre past some homeless drunk outside ToysRus!!!

Opted for a cab as i am fat and lazy, booked our seats at the Odeon, then had snacks from Greggs, mooched round the shops and had a drink in a nearby pub till it was time for the cinema..........saw Click which was the best of the lot (we'd seen all the good films and Matt didn't fancy Saw III), i must admit i suppose horrors aren't typical Sunday afternoon viewing.
It was okay, came out..........to the night!!! it was pitch dark, called at Sainsbury's.......then got the free bus to Picadilly.
Had another coffee and a cream cake at Matt's flat, made him change, dropped him at the Lowry, then got on the M602, tired Tim or what?

Dropped Andy home, clambered in the bath, no point staying downstairs with no t.v, watched The Royal Family special at 9pm in bed, read a bit and was spark out by 10.30pm.

Monday today, have paid parking fine on company credit card, okay day i suppose am fretting about Andy at his new job today, i hope he's not being bullied, what if the bigger boys have taken his dinner money off him!

I want him to like it and stay and work hard, earn loads of cash to keep me and baby Porray, that boy is my ticket out of here!!!

Losing me drawers!

2006-10-26T12:06:00.000Z

My wild working work, went something like this.

Monday:

I bloody hate Monday, this one was made worse as every time i tried to walk my pants fell down, the elasticated panel pockets, added to the fact that they were "low rise" cut and too big, ultimately meant that they were sliding down my thighs as i went about my work.

Nipped into town at lunch, bought a belt in DP's for £5, asked to wear it straight away, ace........problem solved ... pants in place, only when i sat at my desk it was digging in to my tummy and crushing the baby, not good, have put maternity jeans in the back of the wardrobe until am really fat and they can stay up unaided!

Also went to the M&S sales, bought some jogging pants for swimming and generally slobbing about in and some new boarding trousers (why they aren't called combats anymore is beyond me, Matt will be up in arms, Opal Fruits, Marathons and now this..........he's still trying to get his head round Hillards being bought out in 1985 ish).

Anyhow I'm very pleased with my bargains, £8 for both pairs....i'll definitely get my fivers worth out of my boarding trews!!
Called at Nic's on the way home to pick up my hen night t.shirt and chose my main course for tomorrow evening, phoned Katy F and demanded she come with me to York in my car and doesn't meet Caroline and co. in Leeds train station.

That sorted, home, had a surge of energy...bathed, p.j's........2 weeks ironing all done and sided, cats in, then we had fish for tea, bed to read at 10pm as always.

Tuesday:

Was in quite a good mood at work, although i still hate it (roll on the day, when Andy gives me housekeeping and i can stay at home). Bought some cute baby stuff in Boots, you know the typical jackets with ears on the hoods, snazzy bibs, ickle hat, furry socks....i mustn't go mad though, Marlene'll play hell if she finds out I'm buying things this early, (in their day, they sent the husband out to buy all the baby essentials after they'd given birth and were in Crossley maternity home, for their weeks stay).

Stashed baby clothes in secret suitcase under my bed once home, usual t.time routine, then whistling happy as larry boyfriend arrived (guess who has 5 days off work before the start of thier new job?) pleasant evening of pie, chips, peas and Jackass 2 the movie......early to bed.

Wednesday:

Nice day on the whole, Mum phoned me at work for 1/2hr natter, which is okay as David is in Kenya fishing, bless my Mum, her and Dad are going to buy us the pram, Andy is well pleased (tightass) that the 2 most expensive items are covered. I went to Mothercare at lunch and found one i really liked, need to show Andy......like Men are bothered, as long as it's not pink he'll push whatever!
Bought a 0-3mths t.shirt and 2 pairs of jogging pants...........stop it Karen! i have switched my drinking and smoking addiction to shopping.
Andy phoned, as he's on holiday he thinks every evening should be like the weekend and asked me to look what was on at the pictures, with me being a lazy, pregnant, i don't go out if it's dark and raining type person, i bartered with him, not sure if i won, but DVD's, sexual favours, a roaring fire and chocolate cake suddenly seemed more appealing to him, than the Showcase! funny that!

Spent the evening doing all the above, Matthew phoned for a brief chat, but didn't stay on long as i was eating tea and watching National lampoons animal house.
Up the apples and pears after cleaning Megs' sick up, to Andy yelling "she's got it on the dvd!!!!!" no Andy, she's missed it, but it is all over the new pine table.

Today: that's Thursday, have done no work, blogged, emailed Matt and Ruth, been to Morrisons and the bank and am now going for my haircutting..........might be longer than an hour....to Cleck and back and a cut and blow, but who cares?

Busy weekend as always ahead, just the funeral to get through tomorrow!
Then Nicola's hen night in the city of York.
Saturday, must swim this week...in the evening Sarah is back from GBY and a whole posse of us are dining at Aldo's.
Sunday me and AP are off to Matty Stephenson's new flat by the looks of things.
This is after the clocks change and we get one hour extra in bed.

So i'll update you all on Monday as to wether the weekend penned out as planned.

See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!

Buxton spring water

2006-10-23T10:54:00.000Z

The last 3 days have been very busy indeed.

Weekends are for chilling, not running around like you've ants in your pants....what's all that about?

Thursday evening, quite mundane, Andy got the new job (well his old job back), brilliant.....i am already planning to spend the rest of my days at coffee mornings and Mum's and Tots. Lets just hope they don't lay him off after 2 months like they did last year.

Friday i had a very productive day at work........not!
Awoke at 9.30am, the fooking sky man turned up shortly afterwards and proceeded to fanny around with new cables, drilling holes and making a right blinking mess for the next 2 1/2hrs.
All sky and sky+ boxes installed and in working order.
Eventually he dispersed, leaving cable ties all over the garden, wanker! i got cats out from under bed, calmed them down with wafer thin chicken, got ready and sped to work arriving at 12.20pm...........oops!

Had my lunch, as that's not taking the piss, chatted to Andy on the phone, then left at 3pm to fetch my parents from the station who's arrived back from the Isle of man.
Poor Mum was ever so upset about Maurice, fussed around her a bit, quick coffee at the bungalow, home, sorted stuff there, got changed and fetched fish and chips x 4 and took them back to the bungalow at 6pm.
Showed Mum scan pic which cheered her up a bit, after tea me and Ruth nicked off to the showcase to watch the Guardian...........(v.good, culmination of An officer and a gentleman, a smidgen of the Titanic thrown in with an Armageddon ending).......anyhew i cried it was a weepy!
Took Ruth's car home and i drove to spoons, spent a pleasant hour in spoons having a couple of J20's, chatted to Micky Foxall and Phil Carter, then bumped into Kim Palmer (blast from the past), who'd just had her 2nd daughter.
Took Ruth home, watched a bit of Catherine Tate, read a while and fell into bed at 2am.

Saturday was having a mammoth lie in when AP phoned at 11am, fookoff I'm resting. Nipped to Next to take back some too long in the leg combats, swapped for a pair of jeans and a jumper that won't show my midriff, took Andy to rugby club car park, home and bathed, wash on, cats in, packed, breakfast ya di ya!
Felt real bad for not swimming...........no time as had to fetch Andy from Huddersfield Rugby Union at 4.30pm.
Made good time, but was tootling along when i realised i'd missed Jcn 23 and was at Saddleworth........oops!

Did a u turn and back on the M62 Eastbound doing a steady 107..that's safe, but was only 10 minutes late......picked up tired red faced boyfriend and sped over the tops (while answering the phone to Sarah, Nicola and txting Spug back), arriving in Buxton at 5.45pm..........it was chucking it down as usual.

Had a lovely stay as always, chill city............gave the kiddies some toys, played with them till 7.30pm, then just ligged about, had a nice meal of bruschetta, followed by beef bourguignon with chocolate torte to finish, sat on the sofa fit to burst.........ooh i had a glass of red wine and was disappointed a didn't feel pissed.
Andy had water all night, told you he'd be better having the baby, he's not bothered about drinking.
The 1st time I've fallen pregnant i was jealous of Chris smoking.
Rhian and Chris were giving us baby stuff including their nursery rocking sliding chair and footstool, reight do! That'll save us £430.....like we'd have paid that anyhow!

We stayed up really late watching Team America, i laughed loads after 1st saying it was shit and telling Chris to turn it off, me and Andy went to bed after 1, leaving Chris rolling another.

Sunday we were awake to little voices outside the bedroom door "waiting" for us to get up, finally polled down at 10am, coffees, the Xfactor, lots of shrieking and running around, (the kids not us).
Then had a Stirling roast Sunday dinner of pork with all the trimmings and cream buns........( i wouldn't normally eat this much, but I'm with child).

Andy had 2nds, he should be pregnant i told you, finally set off home mid afternoon, Andy driving, me snoozing, i was so tired, there's nowt like your own bed.
Home at 4ish, was fooking pooped.........put the washer on, fed amaciated cats, jumped in the tub, then napped on sofa, spent the evening groggily watching shite t.v, eating cheese on toast, with the fire on until i retired at 10pm, to read crap magaxines in my boudoir.

Today is okay as Mondays go, have new jeans on that i bought to grow in to, they're far too big.........note to self wear a belt tomorrow as i'm sure my work colleagues don't want to see my Bridget Jones pants.

scan

2006-10-19T12:20:00.000Z

I don't know where to start.

Monday and Tuesday evening i did nothing, i went up to bed early on Tuesday night as we'd to be up early yesterday, i needed have bothered......Andy came up 2 hours later stomping about like a baby elephant and waking me for nookie...........wtf?

The sky man was meant to call in-between the hours of 8&9 to give us an ETA, noone rang so i txt Steven to say that we'd probably be back from the hospital before they showed up and there was no need to come and sit at mine and wait for him.

Andy showered early doors i couldn't be assed as we were up late, so quick coffees and my compulsory pint of water, drove to Bronte towers, parked up and we were 10 minutes early, we were seen by a trainee lad who was lovely. So the scan?? oh my god, i couldn't believe my eyes, how clear this little baby was? it was amazing......tiny little thing jumping around, you can tell who it's Dad is, it went all coy when the photos were being taken, so we've a side view and one of the back of it's head and it's little spine...........Ahhh! oh my god, it's hard to believe this little thing is growing inside of me!!!

Andy was gobsmacked, he was craning his neck to get a better look at the monitor, utterly speechless. It was all over in 10 minutes, Dr.Davies was 5 days out so our new EDD is the 21st April, i suppose it'll come out when it wants to. Off we toddled with our scan piccys, Andy's telling me certain races aren't allowed to get scan pictures as they get expert opinions and kill their daughters..........okay then!

Home for 10.15am and unbeknown to us the fooking sky man had been and gone, so we had a full cooked breakfast, then waited until 3pm (watching the cricket) for him to show up, Andy went to the Gym and i had a nap, sky rang to re-book their engineer to come out again on Friday (more time off work), quick bath, tescos for more trashy mags, then Andy re-appeared, i wondered what was up as he was meant to be picking up Waitey and Blacky for bowls, he came to tell me ACL have phoned and they have some work on days, he's got to go see a bloke today about it (yippee yippee yippee, if he gets it.. it's double what he earns now and i won't have to go back to work after the baby's born)...... Ruth came up to look at the scan photo, Tina txt to see how the scan had gone, then Matt phoned to tell me about his house move.
After all this activity i sat down to a chicken bhuna, naan, pilau rice and ice-cream , oh and a chocolate mini roll. Read trashy mags, balled my eyes out at My heart belongs to Daddy on BBC2, Andy came after bowls to get scan photo to show his Mum.
Up the apples and pears at 10.45pm....pooped!

Today's not a good day, Uncle Mo passed away this morning, our thoughts and prayers go out to Hayley, Rachel and Auntie Gill..........Life can be so unfair!

Dentist, dining, Departed and other stuff

2006-10-16T12:01:00.000Z

Ooh it's been a while, i'll try not to drone on.

Wednesday, Steven never showed up for his hair cutting, so i did nowt, read mags, ya di ya!

Thursday, something very similar, kept my head down at work and was all sweetness and light as i needed to take 1/2 day Friday.
AP and i did jack shit at night, resisted the temptation to bring new pine drawers home so we wouldn't have to put them up. Early to bed, early to rise.

Friday, the start of the weekend, yippee! bring it on, where's my glittery top and spangley shoes?
Left work at lunchtime and shlecked over the moors to Wilmslow, Chris patched up my back tooth (putting any more serious work on the back burner for when i am able to have x-rays), free scale and polish, then he signed off for the day, so we toddled off to a nice country pub and had a pie, a pint and a good old chin wag! Chris rocks!

Home for 4.15pm, got a wriggle on, let cats in and out, bathed, made myself looked 1/2 decent........collected Andy, then Ruth and Mark, we went to the Oracle for gourmet burger and chips, they all had pints to wash theirs down, i opted for a soft beverage, being designated driver etc!
Didn't stay too late, it wasn't overly busy, so we settled our bill and were back in Clecksville for 7.15pm, quick pint and a game of pool in the Commical, left R&M meeting some other party people, we shuffled off home to don our p.j's, turn the fire up and watch DVD's while eating cake and ice-cream.
Bed at 11pm, leaving Andy switching everything off!

Lovely Saturday.....early morning snuggles, coffee and tea in bed, we watched princess Nicky, then i put the washer on, changed into swimming cossie, dropped Andy home to get ready for rugby, then hit the pool.
Was a tad worried when i arrived, as i was earlier than usual, there were only a few randoms in, a bloke who looked like he'd had open heart surgery, three folk doing doggy paddle with blue floats attached to their backs, one girl having a swimming lesson and some old people, was sure i'd gatecrashed some pals club, but just got in and swam up and down hoping noone would ask me to leave. I later checked, it was only length swimming so i was in the clear.

Out, dried, home, bathed and grilled breakfast all before midday! look at me go!
Did a couple more wash loads, bedding etc, was ligged on the sofa, reading the bible (Take a break), when Marlene came visiting with vanilla slices......hooray!
We chatted an hour, then i blitzed all clothes drawers/dressing table drawers in the bedroom and bagged up charity stuff and things for the rubbish! I've thrown more rubbish out in the last 2 months than i have in the last 17yrs and 3 house moves.

I love my Saturdays, but they're over too quick, i could have done with another couple of hours slobbing but it was time to fetch Andy from the rugby. Called in G&D's, have noticed she talks to my stomach now and not my face, we wolfed a fish butty down each, then to the showcase for pop, revels, wine gums and The Departed............ace! reight do!
Home late late, bed for me and my magazine, sky sports and switching off all things electrical for AP!

Sunday, WTF? alarm woke us up in the middle of the night (9am), it was a flurry of morning coffees, showers, shaving (Andy not me), hair straightening (me not Andy), best togs and we were the last to the church, sat in the back pew, behind 19 other members of our family, for Marlo and Jim's ruby wedding celebration.
After 1hr, and me only knowing one hymn, the novelty had worn off, i was tired and hungry, stifling giggles at boyf doing Pavarotti impressions, praise the lord (literally) it was all over and we headed for the Priestley rooms for a finger buffet, poor Andy got interrogated by 15 Aunts, i sat and nodded at all the folk congratulating us, who i hadn't seen since the 90's.
Was bombarded by the Richardson's with news of their daughters whereabouts and well being! Struth get me out of here. Chistopher Garforth was, oh don't get me started.
Most of us ended up in Drub club (Andy drinking Stella and playing snooker with my brothers, would that be why he's blobbed work today?).
My mad Grandma was there, wearing all Auntie Edith's best clothes, she'd actually laid out on the bed for herself, but Grandma was up 1st and thought they'd suit her, she also had Tena ladies in her shoes thinking they were insoles (how is she supposed to know?).

the bar shut, all Aunties, Uncles went off home, me, my siblings and partners went to Gomersal Cricket club for one, i then dropped Andy at the Rose and Crown to meet Deano, Blacky and Waitey ( i know he's allowed a life etc, but what he cannot do is get mullered with the singletons, shirk work on a Monday morning and lose a days pay when we are with child, as we'll be living on a shoe string as it is! ) lecture over!

I went back to bed for an hour, got up after tea, p.j's, pie and chips, fire on full, laked wi cats and to bed at midnight to read trashy novel, all quite nice.

Monday fooking morning, i hate them, had to get up early to take Marlene and Jim to the the Station they're off to the Isle of Man for a trip down memory lane, bless em!

So that's my news, all lager free, party free, but full and varied all the same, i hope you'll agree! ooh that rhymed!
Off to fetch David some Kenyan shillings now, only 2 days of him this week, as Weds i'm having my scan then Thursday he's going fishing.......whoppee do!

Sky's the limit

2006-10-11T14:30:00.000Z

I have the least amount of news ever and I'm still blogging, what's that all about?

It's either this or work, I'm secretly on strike as David is being an ass.

It's Wednesday, when it should be Friday already, how the weeks drag and the weekends fly? how unjust?

Monday, the first night in ages i just took it easy and chilled, Matt phoned, then i had to go and watch the final episode of Life begins, it was tearful!!! I phoned Matt back at 10pm and we carried onto chatting till 11.20pm, till he went to get his tea of mince!!??!
Up to bed where i read "Love it" or "Pick me up" or some equally trashy mag, i treat myself out of my social and get them every week.

Tuesday, it was horrible at work....when it's good, it's very very good, but when it's bad it horrid! Couldn't wait for the day to end, breathed a howge sigh of relief once home, plonked on the sofa, having a nice piece of fish, with winter veg. God i sound like a pensioner now!!
Andy came up, i finally succumbed and let him have sky sports, so we've the technical support man coming next week to fit us Sky+ multiroom, whatever that means? ooh boys!
He was punching the air going "yesss"..very bizarre!

Had a lovely night watching the racing channel, then Britain's youngest Mums, i particularly liked the bit with the 14yr old in labour, lying on the floor screaming with her muff out........nice!

Today i have no news, work is dire, roll on Christmas.....been emailing Hells, she is one barmy mother fucker, planning a bike ride from Lands end to John o'groats, then she's off to Australia soon.......selfish, me and AP were planning on letting her there at the birth, then she could lick them midwives into shape.
Excuse the pun!

This evening, Steven is calling up for his haircutting, there's nothing on t.v anymore, no Lost, life begins, DHW's it's all rubbish, i'll have to start watching rugby union or women's darts.......not!
Not sure about the weekends plans, i do know I'm off to Wilmslow Friday afternoon to see Chris, then Sunday morning my parents are celebrating their ruby wedding in church.
It's a good job my partying days are over, can you imagaine having to get up at 9am on a Sunday after a night out on the lash...........sooo not funny!!!

Goody Two Shoes

2006-10-09T09:34:00.000Z

"Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?"
Adam Ant once sang it, you'll be too young to remember that!

What do i do though?, not very much i must admit.

The run down of my weekend......... don't get excited, you'd hardly recognise the new Amish me!

Friday evening i ran home (down the hard shoulder of the M62 past all the cars), put my tint on, then Ruth came for a good old gas, i answered the door in my knickers and cropped top, mad hair sticking all over the shop...........it's always a look!

Ruth had 2 mugs of tea, read the papers at the table while i was ironing 2 weeks worth of crumpled clothes as we chatted.

Off she went on her merry way for a Chinese, i washed off tint, emptied my wardrobe, took out everything that's too tight/short and put in storage (suitcase under the bed), sided ironing, bathed, had some stew.
Was laid on the chaise longue looking seductive when AP turned up at 10pm after the rugby.
Well ok, sofa in my jimmies, looking fooking worn out.
Watched Charlotte Church, i went up to bed at 11pm, leaving Andy "to switch everything off".

1 hr later, he came up, i asked him if everything was off? yep!
Have you turned the fire off?
"oh no, i'll go do it now".

So Saturday morning, I'm going to make coffees and he's left the kitchen light on and 3 living room lamps, including the fire, he must have though switching everything off.............meant.....the T.V.

He went to rugby, the sport not the place ( i changed into cossie, with clothes over the top), nipped in Tescos, then up to Next to get a new quilt cover, called in Mums for a wee and a coffee, then to the pool........only managed to swim for 40 mins as was starving. Saw Andy's mate Russ with his kids, was v.shown up, there's some thing about people you know seeing you in your swimwear. (apart from if you go right under at Brid).

Home, bath, then had a grilled breakfast.

Dad and Martyn turned up, dismantled the spare bed, loaded it up and gave me my long en.
I did 2 wash loads, vacced the house from top to bottom, (god I'm boring myself typing this, how bored are you lot reading it?).
Marlo came visiting, with her fags in me living room, after that i spruced up spare room, washed/dried new quilt and donned on our bed, by this time it was 6.30pm, where do the days go?

Fetched Andy at 7pm, called in G&D's and had a quick chat about pregnancy, then me and the boy spent our Saturday evening in our leeisure wear, watching Jackass the movie, eating hotdogs, chips and Viennese swirls................jealous? bet yar!
I went to bed at 11pm again and left Andy turning off EVERYTHING this time, having explained what this meant.
As i was climbing the stairs, i heard him saying "what are we going to watch cats?".
Oh dear!

Sunday, we are so loving the new quilt.
Tried to have a lie-in, can't sleep past 10am when you've not been out, rubbish!
Got up, had a full cooked breakfast like Rosanne and Dan. He went home for his skysports fix, while i mowed the lawn like a white slave, back to Tescos for Bisto, ice-cream and the Sunday papers.
Put the lamb joint in and prepared all the veg.
Andy came back at 2pm, Ruth and Mark showed up at 4pm, bearing chocolate trifle and flapjack. come in.. come in!

So the 4 of us ate like kings, lamb, yorkshires, sprouts, pigs in blankets, cauli, broccoli, carrots, mash and roast potatos, with gravy.
I honestly could have curled up on the rug and gone to sleep.
Ruth and mark washed up, how good are they?
After pudding, we ligged about in a state contentment, R&M went to the showcase, we sat and sighed a while.

Andy went home, leaving me to watch birth night live, which scared the fooking life out of me.
Up to bed (the new quilt was drawing me) at 10pm. :o)

It's official i'm the most boring person you know, the thing is i can't remember ever being so happy, clean house, p.j's, good food, boyf, baby on the way.

Makes me wonder what i was doing all those years, getting drunk in those watering hole places.
Wonder how many hours i've wasted lying in bed with hang-over? when i could have been up, cleaning and thinking i'm Duncan Goodhew at the baths.
Let's not even go there!

No news is good news

2006-10-06T11:20:00.000Z

I said i'd blog later in the week when i'd cheered up.
I have cheered up marginally, but am not chipper due to the following happening.

Wednesday, while Andy was bowling i was washing place mats and bath sheets, setting up the new DVD player (on my own, how smug was i when it worked 1st time?), unboxing some posh serving platters on gold stands (i'd hoisted from work) washing them up and making room for them in the corner cupboard.

Also peeling one ton of winter veg for a good old fashioned Yorkshire stew and stewing the steak for 3 hrs, this is all after i'd had the hairs from my top lip and eyebrows ripped out with hot wax and my eyes dyed..........or something!

MJW phoned from Leatherhead, he'd received his birthday card with enclosed baby news, bless him, we chatted a while, he's very content and loving London life and his 10 minute walk to work.

So 9pm, i finally got my tea and ate it at the table, such glee! 10.30pm, i was in bed proper pooped, a women's work is never done.......ya di ya!

Thursday woke up in a belting mood........today is a good day... blah blah!
Got to work and vacced the entire offices, made colleagues hot beverages to stares of sheer happiness (she's back, gone is the hormonal grumpy witch we've been working with the last 8 weeks!), brushed my teeth after my cereal and out came 1/2 of my back tooth, fuckety fook, txt Chris and phoned his receptionist to make an appointment for Fri 13th..how apt!
Nipped out in my lunch hour, treat myself to some DVD's, then Clintons for M&D a Ruby wedding card and Mum a 60th card...blimey.
Called in Boots for loose powder and B&Q on the way back to the office for turps and blue paint.

The afternoon flew, was stuck on the M62 for an eternity, needed to get off at the showcase and call in Mother's for a wee, would never have made it home, happy families at the bungalow, Mother ignoring me as the weakest link was on.......nice, middle brother was there, i was having to be nice as he's buying my spare bed off me on Saturday, Dad in the bath and Steven pissed in bed.......stayed approx 4 mins and left hastily.
Home to baby Maisie with sticky green goo in the corner of her eyes, bathed them with cotton wool, then kept her in..........to her delight...not!

Took 10 ton bin to main road, full of crap from my cupboards, old DVD player etc.
Side all washing from spare room, put light under stew and had planned a nice relaxing evening for me and Andy as the last few nights he's been round, I've been in a strop or have set him on doing errands.
The last thing i want is him getting sick of me and running off with a black man.

So we're watching the end of Tuesday's film quite happy, he was telling me for the 2nd time about cheeky Bastard James turning up at the club on Wednesday night.
The phone rang and it was one of my oldest china's with horrible sad news, it's just puts everything in perspective, they say that everyone knows someone who is suffering from the big C, unfortunately that statistic is alarmingly correct.
We watched the rest of the film in glum silence, with Andy saying every now and again "that's not what you want to hear is it?".

Up to bed early, hoping today would be a better day.
Awoke to random texts.
Dean "has Andy purchased a suitable jumper now he's going to be a Father?".
Nic "what size t.shirt do i need for the hen night?"........fat with bump size.
Sarah "is the baby bump the size of a crown green bowl yet?".

What it is to be popular.

So it's the weekend, Friday night is pending.
My plans? dying my roots, howge pile of ironing, mile swim, dismantle spare bed, rid cupboards of more drek, give boyfriend blowjob, general ablutions, then R&M to dinner on Sunday.

How times are a changing!!!!

Grouch

2006-10-04T11:05:00.000Z

I don't like being at work, it's poo.
I can't leave till the end of January at the earliest.........that's no good! still if i break it down week by week, it'll fly............like we've something planned every weekend in October, (so that should go quickly) it's only 12 weeks till Christmas........oh I'm not convinced, every day here seems like a week.
I suppose i should stick it out for all the free Xmas goodies. (not that i have a choice anyway).
Andy wants to go away again this year, I'm wondering about Lille Christmas market? get loads of duty free perfume while we're there??!!

I'd kind of put Christmas on the back burner, with baby on the way, Andy moving in and all that jazz. Truth is i'd not even thought about it, I'm usually quite organised......not going overboard this year, they'll be no party at mine (I'm not watching people booze and enjoy themselves in my living room, hahhhaa scrooge or what?). Just peace and tranquillity, I'm only buying for kiddies and family too, need to save my pennies for the future.

So nothing new has happened this week, Monday evening Paul let me home at 4.30pm, so i was checking my eyelids for holes on the sofa at 7pm, Andy came up to get rid of all algae on the path with special cleaner, he's a good egg.
I watched life begins, then celebrity wife swap and thanked my lucky stars I'm not living with John fooking McCririck, the fat lazy bastard.

Tuesday, made it through the day..making lists and looking int'Argos catalogue, was particularly enamoured by the baby monitors with a t.v screen attached...how cool? Also looking on the Ikea and Next websites, this virtual shopping in your mind is really cheap you know.

Tuesday evening, watched Life of David Gale on DVD with the boy, while mentally cleaning out more cupboards in my head (Whitter would be so proud), house is looking very cosy, now rid of excess tat, cats are loving new dining table, Luther sleeps on it, which is equally hygienic and not funny! much! anyhow half way through the fooking film, the DVD player packed in, this is all we need, just shelled out for a new table and chairs and a baby on the way.
I had a hissy fit like a 14yr old, Andy's saying "don't worry just buy another it's not the end of the world", it's me and electrical items, i hate them and the feelings mutual.

Later i'd calmed down and suggested we invite both sets of parents up for a meal, Andy said no as his Dad talks shite, poor Dave, i told him we'll have to have them up at Christmas as his Mum will want to know where he's living and what kind of home their Grandchild will have........he wasn't budging!

Wednesday that'd be today, woke up still mega stressed, i seem to have 1 million jobs to do and don't like being unorganised, today's plans are buy new DVD/Video combi player at lunch, am at the beauticians at 6.30pm (have sacked off Nicola and am trying a new venue), tonight i'd planned to stew some steak and prepare veg for some winter scram, then of course tackle setting up the new fooking recorder.
Ruth wanted to go see world trade, but i'll have to save treats like that for a weekend instead of going to the boozer.

Andy had just txt, we decided last night that taking a couple of days off to start the nursery and buy some baby stuff might be in order. so he's taken 3 days off at the end of the month, is he on glue, people will think we're mental, it's far too early, I've told him to cancel them. I'm getting worked up over silly stuff, stressing unnecessarily!
Truth is, i've all the time in the world..........to do little jobs and prepare, as i never go out!

Deep breaths!

I'm going to sign off now, i've turned into Hyacinth Bouquet.
I'll blog later in the week, when i've calmed down.
Hopefully!

Whoppee Do!

2006-10-02T11:07:00.000Z

It's Yom Kippur and we are without the hierarchy.

Steady away today then i reckon, don't want to overdo it in my fragile state....guffaw guffaw!

What have i been up to?

Well Wednesday Mum came up visiting, waking me from my fave position ligged on the sofa, fast asleep, red faced with the fire on full...........attire? which ever p.j's are clean at that moment in time.
There was no line dancing and she was at a loose end, so she was round mine with her fags, stinking out my abode............yak........cough.....splutter!
Gave her the duty free Andy had bought her, (she loves him more than me) i had shepherds pie, off she toddled to Uncle Mo's and i had an early night!

Thursday i'd got it in my head, the best thing to do on my way home from work would be to call in Ikea and get some new table and chairs,because pine furniture isn't heavy for a pregnant lady to carry......home at 6.30pm, unpacked all furniture outside and threw away packaging, took coffee table apart and put in shed, took footstools upstairs, sided all food shopping, was in bath when Andy arrived, with all the furniture strewn all over living room for him to make a start on after he'd had a rather vigorous workout at the gym and was expecting a night ligged on the sofa................poor boy! tee hee!

He made a start (without reading any instructions), luckily Mark and Ruth showed up to collect their duty-free. Mark helped and it was all up and looking spiffing by 9.30pm.
Had some nice quiche and salad for tea, watched Extras (ooh i had a dream last night that me and Ricky Gervais were washing up...random). Andy staggered off home, i went to bed to read.

Friday, my fooking back was crippled, been up twice in the night to the loo, walking like Mrs.Overall......text Leigh and blobbed work.
Slept till mid morning, up to texts from Rach and Tina along with the congratulations one's from Spug and Beth the day before, had a nice day, hobbling around, charity shop to take unwanted baby rocker and floor cushions, Ikea to swap split chair slat, Next to buy bigger girl trousers, tops, babygros and bibs, Tescos for fruit and milk, homeward bound, had a spot of lunch, pottered all afternoon, threw a binliner of drek away from kitchen cupboards.
Then got ready and fetched Andy at 5.30pm, we headed for the bright lights of Leeds and to the Oracle for gourmet burger and chips, garlic bread and non alcoholic cocktails (we're so wild), food was well nice, was a tad jealous of the Friday night drunken party revellers, but never mind, was home at 7.15pm with nice boyfriend, watching flightplan DVD in my p.j's eating ice lollies..........don't ask!

Saturday....I'm so loving my Saturdays lately, hang-over free active girl. Was at the pool early doors, swam for an hour, stared agog and some pregnant bocker, in a bikini, wearing all her wealth, covered in tattoos, chewing gum, just sat in the shallow end. Cripes!
Home, bath and grilled breakfast, then spent all afternoon, cleaning out cupboards, putting stuff to the charity, moved all stuff from under spare bed, dragged all photo albums into living room, was fooked! but all this nesting makes me feel brilliant.

Phoned Chris and Rhian with my news to lots of shrieking, Chris wanted to know if he could txt his Mum, they've invited us over for a meal, which will be nice.
Had a light snack, got cats in, (a spider had attacked Meg and she was crying), new neighbours were moving in next door, hope they're not noisy!!!

Txt Matt as he said he was in Cleck Saturday, he didn't get it so i presumed he wasn't and set off to the club at 7pm, arrived to everyone congratulating me........words out then!
I was well popular, getting kisses and pats on the tummy from Hemmy, Granty, Katy, Dave Turton, Russ, Waitey..could have stayed there all night basking in the glory. But had a quick orange, chatted to KF and off we toddled to Spoons, where i had a surprisingly really good night, just sat nattering with Caroline, Warren, John, Clare and Matt (who'd not checked his phone till 2hrs after my txt), never mind, was highly amused that he was drinking bottles of 7.5% Perry........Spug, Tina, Beth and Vicky all showed up for one, so had a nice chat, not seen them since Rach's birthday 8 weeks ago.

We left with John and Clare and headed for pizza base at 10.15pm, dropped them home, had a few slices and we were both tucked up in bed before midnight.

Another nice day yesterday, up mid morning, sleepy Sabbath just pottering, took Andy for his car after breakfast, did a couple of wash loads, stripped bed, cleaned the bathroom, then fell asleep on the sofa for 2 hours awaking at 5.20pm, what the fook?
Went to see Mum for an hour, Nicola phoned double checking about hen do, bless........ she's the only person in Cleck who didn't know i was pregnant, told her i was going to drive home, so didn't need a hotel, she's getting me a bigger t.shirt to compensate my bump, to go with the devils horns and trident, I'm going to look a right bonny bugger!!!!!!

Chatted to Marlo who is full of cold again, she was saying things like nobody's txt me to wish me Happy Grandma (I'm sure she's on glue, she doesn't even own a mobile). Ruth arrived returning jigsaws, we stayed till 8pm, then went to our respective abodes.
Last night, had a bite to eat and watched the Exorcism of Emily rose on DVD which is a load of rubbish.

That's the events of my last 5 days, longwinded but decidedly more chipper i might hasten to add!!!

http://mumstheword-.blogspot.com/

2006-09-28T10:08:00.000Z

Just in case the penny hadn't dropped.

I am with child.

Attached is the secret blog i have been posting behind all your backs.
May god strike me down!

Lost

2006-09-27T10:17:00.000Z

Oh my god, did anyone watch the double whammy Lost Finale last night?
wtf???????
Who were the people in the blizzard at the end?
Did Desmond cause the plane to crash?
Libby was the woman who gave him the boat, why does she keep cropping up?
Why did they send Hurley back to the camp, to relay a message?
What will become of Sawyer, Jack and Kate?
What had they found at the end when they phoned Desmond's girlfriend?

Oh me.........i can't wait till the next episode!!!!

Oh my god, how boring am i? T.V is my life, seriously.......i told Matt not to ring me between 9 & 10 on Monday as Life begins was on.
Then last night, i went to pick AP up from the stag night and praised the lord he was in bed pissed at 10, before Lost began.

So the last couple of weekends have been quiet, a mixture of the cinema, Sunday dinners, a spot of diy, length swimming, DVD watching......just chilling really.

Have had a very uneventful last couple of days, Monday...i was horrid, i'd only slept 4 hrs on Sunday night, i was the devil at work, dragged myself home at 6pm, had a quick word in Alan's ear about whoever had re-erected the shed, leaving all the nails up my drive and my flat tyre last Friday!!!
He told me he'd picked all the nails up, i must have imagined the nail and being sat in Alba tyres for an hour Friday morning! silly me!

I was so tired and fed up, had a few tears and a hot bath. Matt phoned on his way t'boozer, tea, Life begins, bed to read.

Funny day yesterday, slept 7 1/2hrs without even getting up to wee, was on fine form at work, for a change.......did my work like a good little boy scout, Andy rung at 5pm, home from Mason's stag do......yippee!
He was just on his way to spoons for more beer wi' lads, lead by Wozza, by the looks of things!
So i sped home, had a quick bite to eat, changed, let cats in and went to meet him at 7pm.
There they were.. the shabby stragglers, Mason, Carney, Waitey, Blacky, AP, JP and Woz, tales of their drunken debauchery ensued, that boy of mine, was a shadow of his former self, having eaten only 2 burgers, since they departed at 5am Sunday morning.......till 8pm, Tuesday night, but he'd had lots of beer and 15 cans of redbull with vodka on Monday instead of tea.
I can't say anything, look at the state we got in on Spug's 21st.

Had a couple of drinks with them, i took him home as the rest shuffled off to the Rose, pulling their suitcases behind them, honestly these rugby boys.

Fed him sausage and chips, listened to his slurred events of the last couple of days, packed him off to bed for my marathon t.v watching of Supernanny and Lost finale!

So we slept in this morning, got to work at 9.20am, ah no worries, David didn't show till 10am, rather worse for drink!

It's the hump of the week already, meeting Andy for lunch as he has the day off, that'll keep him away from the pub with Woz and Deano. He is a nice boy, he even brought my Mum, Ruth and Mark cigarettes back, how cute?
Have decided to get new table and chairs and start hosting dinner parties, hahhhaaaaa........no really! so might go up to Ikea tonight or tomorrow, Friday is our official one year anniversary, i'll be expecting a meal out to say the least, might hint (well tell him) to take me to the Oracle in Leeds.
If he's forgotten and arranged to bowl, they'll be moyders!

So that's my little blog, all quite tame, but that's me all over.

I do believe Matt is in Clecksville on Saturday, that's if he's not got deli belly or scarlet fever or some horrid tropical disease.
I wonder if he wants my incredible collapsing coffee table?
Woz has already offered Richard's services to fetch my table and chairs from Ikea............funny!

I feel like shit

2006-09-26T13:34:00.000Z

I had a fever all last night - I was burning up but still felt realy cold. I threw up and shitted more than once and hardly got any sleep. When I got up there was more shitting and vomming and also lots of sweating. Now I'm shivering at my desk just wondering how long I can last before I have to go home.

A quick precis

2006-09-25T10:41:00.000Z

Hello,

Not blogged for a while and since Karen is taking a few weeks off blogging I will go over everything that happened over the past month:

25 August: Went out drinking for 14 hours, put my foot in a pothole and tripped up half way through the proceedings and landed opn a wheelie bin which hit me right in the chest. Result - hurting foot and hurting chest

26 August: Took it easy as I was still sore.

27 August: Went to hospital - I'd broken 2 ribs - she didn't xray my foot but that hurt too. Have to stop smoking for 6 weeks

28 August: Bank holiday - did nothing

29 August: Back to work

31 August: Went out, sand a bit, had a couple of fags

1 Sept: break up for 10 days yippee

4 Sept: travel down to london on the coach for £3.50, went out with Rich and smoked like a chimney - so much for the giving up smoking. Stayed at Alan's boyfriend, Peter's.

5 Sept: Had greasy spoon, travelled London on buses catching up on all the sights and made my way to Audley End railway station in Wendens Ambo where Rob met me. Had nice meal and lovely time with Vicky and Rob.

6 Sept: Me and Vicky wandererd round Saffron Walden in the morning, then were picked up by Chris and Jayne, then we picked up Rob and went to the Airport, shortly after we're on the plane to La Rochelle and I slept most of the way. Met by Alex and his mum, went to their lovely farmhouse and had a lovely dinner.

7 Sept: Went to Cognac. Another nice day, had an argument with Alex's day over politics

8 Sept: Went to Pons and in the evening to a lovely nearby restaurant

9 Sept: Went to Saintes a lovely old town full of roman antiquities and an amphitheatre. Had a lovely arrangement of fish for dinner and watched the last night of the proms which made me cry

10 Sept: Went to Pons and Cognac looking for fags and then flew back home. Train from Stansted to London and then taxi to Alan's boyfriend Peter's again. Had delicious lamb for dinner.

11 Sept: coach back to Manchester and 3 pints when I got home. Andrew's birthday but couldn't get hold of him so left a message.

13 Sept: Kev came up for the footy and we bumped into Kate Bennett and had an ace night

14 Sept: Went out karaokeing and got off with and ended up going home (in a friendly way, I still have bad ribs remember) with Chris.

15 Sept: Worked from home in the afternoon

17 Sept: Met Nicole for lunch, did some shopping and then went out in the evening and karaoked my little heart out.

19 Sept: Karaoke again. Someone tripped over and trod on my bad foot - I was in agony

20 Sept: took day off as I couldnt walk

21 Sept: hobbled to 2ork for half a day, went karaokeing in evening and went to Via Fossa Launch party.

22 Sept: Went to watch Children of Men - it was shit, had 3 pints and went home

23 Sept: Went out, saw the peace march, went for a pint and returned home 6 hours later absulutely wankered.

24 Sept: Went to see the sentinel at the cinema - that was better - went home and did lots of washing

25 Sept: wrote this blog

When i'm 64

2006-09-11T10:10:00.000Z

Seriously, this is how old I'm acting and feeling at the moment.

Friday was an........ erm.........oh boring day, had a nice lie in courtesy of the Sky technical support man, he phoned at 7.40am to say he'd be with me between the hours of 10am and 1pm, fell back asleep, opened my eyes at 9.10am, phoned Leigh to say i'd be late, rose at 11am, nice Man called Brett or similar showed up at 10 past and swapped my box, so waltzed into work at midday....wasn't apologetic, there's nothing i could do about it! How would they manage with a frozen t.v screen?

David is back from Canada and showed up in high spirits looking frightening in some linen combo affair (Salmon pink and sky blue do not go together).

Left work at the dot of 5 and nipped into Birstall retail park HMV to get Ruth birthday vouchers, called into the Mother's and chatted till 7ish, now AP was spending his Friday evening with his Father watching his brother run round the rugby pitch in Morley in the freezing cold and kept asking if i wanted to come along...........erm nope, i'll pass thanks! but he rang again to double check and said even Katy was going with Grant!!! Then Katy phoned............wtf? i wasn't bothered about spending a Friday evening alone, even if Matt was in France and the girls were still in Turkey.
I can manage....solitary i can do!, had a nice night of dying my roots, buffet style tea of bagels, soup and exotic fruit, wanted to sort out my video collection, then watch Charlotte Church show, Ali G, then Jonathan Ross afterwards (when i'd worked out how to us the video recorder).

Did all the above after collaring Alan and asking nicely if i could have a new Kitchen, some central heating and told him Andy is moving in at Christmas.
Bed at midnight and slept like the dead.

Saturday, shuffled around all day like an OAP, went to Asda and Curry's to take back the freeview box (can't believe poor girl gave me a refund, when the box wasn't faulty my aerial is fooked and i'd had it for over 5 weeks) oh well!!! went to Oxfam and donated 50 videos i'll never watch again to the starving Children in Africa.
Ligged on the sofa and watched Failure to Launch on DVD, (what a crock of shit), now Saturday evening we had the pictures and a takeaway planned to save cash and Andy wanted to not have hangover on Sunday as he was meeting the lads to watch the footie. Fine by me, I'm sure i can manage a night away from the Sports club and the wags.

So i collected him from the club, Colin Thompson tried to climb in my car, saying "will i do?"...oh how i laughed!!!!??!. Nipped in G&D's and caught them in a state of undress again, watched Severance at the showcase, it was okay, I've seen worse, then called for a Chinky on the way home from the Rat Kitchen.
Andy went up to bed to watch Match of the Day, i watched Robbie on Sky, read a while, then joined Randy Porrait at midnight!

Sunday, up and watched the Xfactor in bed with tea and coffee, guffawed plenty.. at all the muppets singing Robbie and Maria Carey respectively, completely out of tune. Andy left to get changed, i put the washer on, Ruth and Mark arrived at 2ish, we collected Andy and went for Ruth's birthday Sunday dinner kind of affair at the Toby Carvery in Morley. Only 1/2 hr wait, sat outside in the beer garden with our tall soft drinks and chatted pleasantly, the food was okay (funniest thing was, i asked Ruth and Mark if they wanted to go and get served 1st, Andy thought i meant him and Mark as they are a couple.........cripes).Saw Jonny Red..random!
We all went to the Rose and Crown, got a funny look from John P, he must have thought i was muscling in on the lads footie watching bonding afternoon.
Me, Mark and Ruth sat in the beer garden, then had more drinks at mine after i'd said au revior to Andy, leaving him with Little Bro, Woz, Blacky and Deano (who are all probably hung-over to fook this Morning).

Spent the rest of my day, washing, lying on sofa, had another buffet tea, then went to bed at 10.15pm to watch Peter Kay, was laughing like a drain, no matter how many times i watch him, he still tickles me.
So that's my weekend, jealous aren't you? back at work today, am looking forward to going to the White Rose at lunch and treating myself to some comfy Clarkes shoes and some new slacks with elasticated waists.........might have a quick look at zimmer frames on the way out.

Beautiful South?

2006-09-07T10:35:00.000Z

Here i am again, happy as a cloud!
It's been a while, but i'll try and be brief (quick, not a pair of men's underpants)!
Last Thursday....that would be the 31st, i was home at 3.30pm and napping by 4pm, Andy came up in the evening and we watched the box........all v.exciting!

Friday was a dull day, worked...blah blah! we decided to knock the pictures on the head......we watched Kill Bill 2 (finally) on DVD, early to bed and early to rise.
Saturday AP was off to his rugby, me and Ruth did lunch (Lillibets 2 for 1), then wasted the day in Asda, just for the sake, i purchased 2 new Cd's for my journey to the South.
Called at Marlo's, she wasn't in so nicked off home, Ruth went back to M&D's later as she is a better more wholesome caring Daughter, i went to fetch rugga bugga boyfriend from the rugga bugga club, nipped in his home, so he could change from his shirt and tie, into t.shirt and tracky's, caught Gill in her towel and Dave topless..........nice!
Chatted a wee while, me and the Porrait had a lazy evening planned as long drive the next Morning......eek!
Had a nice evening meal cooked by Moi, AP went to bed early to watch the boxing, i packed, read magazines....blah blah, up the apples and pears at midnight, boyf was asleep but awoke wanting some loving..........doh!

Sunday, up with the larks after SSMS, bacon butties, mugs of coffee, morning T.V (aaargh!), then dropped Andy home and set off to the M1 at 10.45am...........was at Northampton 2 hrs later where i stopped for Sunday dinner of fillet o'fish.....oooh it's a long way to Southampton, but i had the Stone Roses and Take That for company. :o)
Was at the Smithe's whitewashed country cottage, complete with thatched stylee roof, at 3pm, she'd just got in from shopping (toy guns, face paints, etc), with some random in hippy flower skirts, called Sam.
Turned out this Sam person (who is she? who is she? where did you find her?) had just turned up to visit for a few days uninvited and had spread her clothes and belongings all over my room.........the cunt!
She was proper getting on my nerves, wanted to chat to Helly about allsorts, but she was hanging round like a bad smell, we had an Indian takeout which i paid for as Hells is always chucking her money about.......but begrudged paying for sponger Sam's dinner too..........deep breaths.
Late to bed after watching Helen swigging Malt Whiskey like pop....tee hee!

Monday morning (i'd slept in Helen's 18th century French bed she'd bought on eBay, which was a bit eerie), slept in, then gave Sam the slip after breakfast and we headed for Brighton beach in Helen's bright yellow VW camper van (it looked more like a sunshine coach) but she insisted we drove in style!!??!
Had a nice day, had a pizza in a posh restaurant, Helen washed hers down with 2 glasses of red (when did she turn Alky without me noticing?), mooched round the shops, walked on the seafront for miles, went on Brighton pier, went on the beach......really pebbly!
Then set off home v.late via Sainsbury's for tea bits, back to Bassett at 10pm..........flipping Sam was in the bath (as she hadn't had all day to bathe), i was aching all over, needed my jimmies on and some nice grub!
Had soup and French bread, Helen started on the Glenfidich........i went to bed early and left Sam talking at Helen.

Tuesday we'd decided to go to the Eden project so we'd to be up early, unfortunately they'd checked the travel time on the net last night and was an 8hr round trip, for a day out..............erm!? me thinks not.
Had eggs and soldiers, then went off in the sunshine bus to Salisbury Catherdral/ market etc, shuffled around all day like pensioners, stopping for a cream tea at Poppy's cafe, it's So pretty down there, was very hot...was a tad sticky!
Nice day out though, seemingly you can light a candle and make a wish in the Catherdal, didn't bother as my Tarot cards had rightly said i had everything i wished for and more.

Home early, feet up, read mags, looked on'net, Good old Yorkshire tea of pie, potatoes and broccoli, fully chilled out....(you never rest at home, there's always stuff to be doing), sat up late, the Whiskey was out, candles lit, indepth chats....Sam had fooked off to London (good)....felt completely at peace.. apart from the creepy crawlies in the house, was sure i could hear a bee in Hell's bedroom and i've come home with 2 jocker flea bites!
Oh and Helen made me catch a 10" spider in a glass and throw it in the garden.
And there was an earwig under the soap in the bathroom, but i think all this is part and parcel of being a hippy Lesbian.(not me.........i'm parcial to cock, Helen.........you buffoon)

Bed late like i said and Wednesday was up at 9.30am, brekkie, packed and was on the homeward stretch at 11am............4 1/2 hrs to get home, but it flew!
Was unpacked, bathed, washer on, had phoned Mum and was afternoon napping by 4pm.
Andy came straight from Gym, was v.happy to see him, even if it was brief as he was allowed to go and watch England..........so last night, dined on Welsh rarebait and soup, then started the Mammoth clean out, to make space for said boyfriend!
Got as far as the Bathroom, still.... managed to loz a binliner of 1/2 used toiletries away!
I'll get there, bit by bit!

No news

2006-08-31T10:35:00.000Z

It's the weekend tomorrow, i am liking these bank holidays v.much! unfortunately there isn't another one, we'll have to wait till Christmas.........boo! (still it's only 16 weeks off).

Which means i have precisely 16 weeks, to throw 1/2 of my junk out and make room for Mr.Porrait, and more importantly 16 weeks to lick him into shape (no towels on the bathroom floor,etc etc) 16 weeks till we get Sky sports installed........deep joy!
Rugby league, darts.....the works, i'm so excited i could wee!

I don't really have any news, have turned very boring of late! tee hee!
Tuesday, only me and Paul at work, he let me go early so i had a t.time nap, was up at 6pm, Matt phoned after tea and we chatted till 10pm, when i watched double lost..............oh my god if you haven't seen next weeks, the story line will blow you away.

Yesterday (that would be Wednesday), managed to put a full day in at work, bought 2 new cushions at lunchtime (i'm so exciting), oooh and a shower hose, called at Mums on the way home, was going to ask Steven if he wanted to come with us to chinky, but he never rang me back...his loss!
Chatted to Marlo, home at 7pm, got ready, then went up to the Hellsworths at 8.30, to see very harassed and tired parents trying to get 3yr old son to take Ibuprofen, they left Janet to it and Moi, Sarah, Gabe and Dawn went onto the Yangtze, oh my god i can't remember ever eating that much, had a lovely night! but the all you can eat buffet is just a recipe for disaster.....i mean who can eat, soup, prawn crackers, sesame toast, chicken wings, spare ribs, spring rolls, etc etc, before Peking duck and pancakes before a selection of 10 main courses with chips, noodles and egg flied lice.
Followed by 4 desserts???????????? that'd be me then! i certainly got me £8.50 worth

Felt sick as a dog, had a lovely night though, nice to see the Geordie pair, much catching up and dropped them home before getting in at the 11pm (on a school night) and letting my cats in.
Straight to bed, where i read one chapter, then fell into a full uncomfortable sleep.
Till 4.30am, when i needed a wee..........grr!

My plans for today, i've just booked for car in to reg vardy again, for the back brakes doing........no good!
Me and Leigh are larking around like buffoons, Paul is showing some insurance bloke around, being serious and we are dancing.
I'm going to go to boots at lunch, then this afternoon drop David's son all thier bedding off at a property letting agency on Deansgate in Manchester (don't ask), hopefully will be home at 4.30pm and have a disco kip before AP arrives, spag bol for tea then DVd's all the way.

Maybe flicks tomorrow, if i can be assed, then off darn sarf....to stay with Helly Welly Smithe until next Wednesday for some sort of trimester/sabatical/holiday/relaxation type affair break, will be nice, have not been to her new cottage. Marlo is catsitting so everything is under control.

So that's me news, however boring...sleeping, eating, working, the winter is drawing near and i intend to go into hibernation like a tortoise, might get up at Christmas to see if i get any good presents, then re-appear in the Spring!

The bank holiday

2006-08-29T11:27:00.000Z

Friday: Aldo's was very nice as always, i fetched Sarah, MJ and Ellie were already there at 8pm, we were seated quite quickly and ate like Kings........Sarah and i shared our starters, spare ribs, tomato garlic bread and garlic mushrooms, i had Spaghetti carbonarra main, which was quite salty.
10pm, we split the bill and had a quick drink in spoons, then i said Au revoir to MJ and wished him luck down in Leatherhead, got in the car and sped to the club where Andy was inside propping the bar up wi'lads, i sat with Caroline, Woz and Molly outside, Andy brought me a coke, we went inside when it started drizzling and all chatted away quite merrily, Katy was a bit squiffy, i ended up dropping her and Grant off home, me and Ap were in bed at 11.20pm, reading and watching t.v respectively.
Asleep soon after.

Saturday was an ok day, Andy left for cricket, i read and went back to sleep, called at Mum's and offered to take her to see Uncle Mo, who was telling me his Anaesthetist is one of Andy's mates, dropped Mum back and had some nice fish for tea.
Spent forever getting ready to go to Guy and Maria's engagement do, dragging myself away from the Xfactor........excellent.
It was a nice night, they had a pig roast, which was cool............ but there was hardly anyone there, i mean Scholes Cricket club is hardly the largest venue in the world and it was still only 1/2 full! v.strange, still..... nice pork and apple sandwiches (get that fucking stuffing away from me you dirty bastards), Ange got on my nerves, i'm not going into it, but we left at about 11.30 with Caroline and Warren, home again at midnight ish, slumber, sex and all that jazz!!!!

Sunday the Sabbath, we were awake with the larks, up and about, had coffees, dressed, even had Bacon butties at Gill and Dave's, called at My Mum's to drop Martyn's birthday present off and nattered away till mid afternoon.

Dropped Andy off at the boozer, i mowed the lawn like a good little wife, did the washing, had some shepherds pie, then called back up to Mum's in the evening and we both went over to Ruth's where we stayed till 10.15pm, nattering away for England.

Home and to bed early so i would be bright as a button for our romantic day out in the Dales yesterday. Hmmmm!!??!

Bank holiday Monday, cats were driving me mad so threw them out at 9am, they were back in looking sorry for themselves at 10.30am, while i was ringing one very hung-over boyfriend and getting him out of bed to go on our day excursion.

Fetched him at 11.15am, by the time we'd got to Denholme he was sick all over the side of the road, i was crying, black storm clouds were looming in the distance, we turned the car round and cut our losses.
Went to Shibden park to get some air, got drenched through, but not as bad as the folk in the boat sheltering under the trees.
Nipped into John and Clare's to get Andy's hoodie, where John told his big brother that when he moves in at Christmas the 1st thing is to get Sky sports on both t.v's. Cheers, big ears!

Home and laid on the sofas for the afternoon, was going to go over to Matt's but made a mistake by texting his home phone number, by the time he'd called back, Andy had thrown up again and was snoring soundly looking very sorry for himself. I chatted to Matt for 1/2 hr, read a magazine, then we watched The Da Vinci code (what a bag o' wind) when Andy woke up, while eating kettle chips and drinking ribena, had tea, i had pie, chips and peas, Andy had a pork steak, chips and gravy, we then watched what seemed like 8hrs of the Simpsons and Malcolm in the middle.
I went for a long soak in the bath, had a bit of a cuddle and both agreed we'd had better days.
What a waste of a fooking bank holiday, ran Andy home, ligged about all night watching some hippies breastfeeding their 5 year old brats and getting new born babies to poo in pint glasses as they didn't agree with nappies, on t.v.....good old channel 5.
Bed soon after tutting and kicking the cat, read a bit and slept a solid 7 1/2hrs. Back at work today got caught in the horific tailback after the 7 car pile up on the M62....2 people dead and here i am moaning about nothing!

Kind of puts things into perspective.

Last night

2006-08-25T08:48:00.000Z

Hello, I know I am very naughty and hardly ever blog these days. Normally nothing happens to me - and I am very busy so I never have time but I gave my word to an avid reader (hello there - you know who you are) that I'd blog last night's antics.

Well Cute Little Matt is up from London, he came on Wednesday evening for a training day yesterday and so last night we went out. We were a bit late out having become entranced by Dragon's Den (yes I would pay £3 for a lid for a cucumber, but you know me and kitchen gadgets - I spend £20 on an onion slicer!!) so we weren't out till 9pm.

We went to Churchills because I wanted to sing and so sang The Lion Sleeps Tonight and Its Raining Men and then we bogged off to the karaoke at the New Union. It was OK in there and I sang Delilah and I bumped into Chris, remember Chris? Went out with Mighty Mick the original karaoke man at Churchills and who I have had a couple of dalliances with in the dim and distant past. Well anyway he was in the Union and I chatted to him wjhich was nice as I've not really had an opportunity to chat woith hism for yonks - certainly not this year I don't think. It was nice talking to him since as well as being really quite cute he's also a lovely guy so I bought him a drink and we agreed to go out for a drink next week. We had a kiss which was nice too and he said he'd be in Cruz later.

CLM and I went to Via Fossa for one and got chatting to these two 50 year old men who'd got Civil Partnershiped earlierin the day, bless them. They were very sweet but did they go on - well one of them did. You couldn't shut him up! So after a while we left and went to Cruz. It was quite busy but not heaving and we had a dance and CLM had his choice of men - at one time being chatted uo by 2 at once and then Chris turned up. He was with this nice looking girl who was friendly who he'd been with in the Union (we weren't introduced so I don't know her name). I got danceing with him and then we got of with eachother. I wanted to take him home but he was with a friend and CLM was staying at mine so its probably best we didn't anyway we're going out for a drink next week which I am very much looking forward to.

Left Cruz at 20 past 3, got a pizza, walked home, chatted a bit and I got to bed at 4.09am. Very tired today but last night was well worth it.

Where have i been?

2006-08-22T11:00:00.000Z

I don't know what happened, i think maybe I've been temporarily on strike from blogging! not really, but i have been v.busy.

Quick run down of the last week.

Monday: i went to Nicholas's for waxing and tinting, then vegged for the evening.

Tuesday: was so wild i can't remember what i did, it was either rock climbing (one handed)or being a dominatrix (spanking grown business men wearing nappies).

Wednesday: saw AP before he bowled, he was looking mighty fine in Jim's tank top, had a pizza and i packed for Sarah's.

Thursday: I blagged Leigh to let me leave early, home, showered, loaded car, said au revoir to my cats, picked up AP and we headed for the AI(M), i drove the 1st half, I'm a much better driver.........so for the last 2 hours of the journey i spent shrieking "slow down", "are you trying to kill me?"the journey was quite uneventful, i think we had a wee at Kings Lynn and by 10.30pm we'd arrived at the Hellsworths, Sarah had just demolished a family size bag of doritos and a tray of dips, she offered us hot and cold beverages and we watched Grease the movie and yabbered away until the early hours.
Bed at 2am, my last words, don't wake me before 11am.
I clambered into Sarah's single bed, Andy was on the double airbed on the floor and Sarah was in the spare room.

Friday: guess who need a wee at 8am, oh me! got in with Andy, but no sleep on the menu!
9ish we decided to get up, Sarah came down at 10 and me and her started tackling a full English breakfast like a pair of novices, it was pathetic, i blame the slowest grill in the world and Sar refusing to chuck everything in the frying pan as i suggested.
By 11am, we sat down to a jocker feast, then after the washing up was done, we dressed and set off to Potter Heigham. Cool, we hired a boat and went punting down the river, AP drove as he is a man, the novelty wore off and he let me drive back.
Sarah was ligged on the deck trying to get a tan.
Moored the boat when our time was up, scrambled to the shore then had a pop in the pub, we set off from the haunted carpark and drove back into Yarmouth, where we parked the car and walked on the front, before spending 2 hours playing crazy golf (v. funny as Mr. competitive lost to Sarah by one point, he added the scores up again in case i'd made a rick).
Back to the car, we called at Tesco's for tea stuff, home and feasted on chicken (2 whole, i kid you not Andy didn't think we'd have enough with 1 chicken for 3 people). potatoes, salad and French bread, i covered mine in coleslaw so it wouldn't be too healthy.
Ligged around after tea, listening to tales from Dan about his suicide watch, watching BB, taking it in turns to shower, then SS arrived and off we toddled to the local yokel pub, Peggartys!!!!! got it was full of pissheads, it made Cleck look like a monastery!
We played doubles at pool (how twee), bought 4 rounds and i sat for the evening being the butt of everyone's jokes, what it is to be popular! Every young wipper snapper in the vicinity was arseholed this rather heavily breasted young exhibitionist was lobbing her jugs out and her mate was sucking on her nipple to much cheering from a big group of boys, it was SO classy!
Off we trot at 1am, Sarah and Simon stayed downstairs (she Sooo loves him), we went to our separate beds to sleep.

Sunday: was awoken by the 3rd world war air raid warnings.........it was SO loud, turned out to be a flood warning going off 4 times at 8.30am.
We managed to go back to sleep, i heard Andy nip to the loo, then get this....he gets back under his quilt and i heard him say (out loud), "just 5 more minutes and i'll wake Karen", WTF??? it was 11.30am, when we got up.........yippee! me and Sar managed to conquer breakfast in 1/2hr.......result!
Packed up the car as we'd decided to drive through the night instead of wasting 1/2 of Sunday on the A17.
Parked the car on the seafront again and we mosied around town, killing time in joke shops, buying rock, then sheltered in the amusements from that rain, oh my...........they needed the flood warnings! 3.30pm, we went to see Snakes on a plane at the Hollywood cinema........reight do,sweets, popcorn all the way! cheesy movie but better than you expect, once the movie was over we headed for Harry Ramsdens, 1 mile up the seafront, still we worked up a good appetite, fish, chips, mushy peas, tea, bread & butter 3 times, paid for by Mr. Porrait.........reight do!
Walked back to the car, dropped Sarah back in Gorlston, where she had a night of DVD's and diesel planned and we headed up'north, chatted all the way, very weary from the sea air and kipping in strange beds, swapped again at the 1/2 way services, the rain was horrid and we had a couple of hairy moments, but made it home safe and sound for 11.45pm.

Was so glad to see my feline family, unpacked the car, bath and p.j's and watched t.v till the 1.30am, slept like the dead for 12hrs.

Sunday i snook to Tescos, in my scruffs with no make-up and bumped straight into Gill and Dave, then Spug and Eileen, doh!
Had a very lazy Sunday, which consisted of Sunday lunch, washing, tidying,chatting to Helen on the phone, feeling bad for Maisie who had been out for 10hrs on Friday (this is why i need people to stay at my house, she is ferel and wants to come in when she's ready). Anyhow Mum is looking after them when i go to Helen's in 2 weeks............... Not that she was arsed once she's had some tuna and was layed in front of the fire. Watched an evening of the BB finals, read the papers, made Mondays salad and went to bed at 11.30pm, to read and was sparko!!!!!!!

Monday: was a nice day, just me, David and Paul as Leigh is in St.Annes!!! Wtf? steady away, went to town at lunch and got Andy some smellies and a Thorntons chocolate monkey............spoilt in know!
Back to routine last night, ace! had a chicken dinner, Andy came up, gave him his presents, Mum came up with his card and caught him in his boxers (he was trying on new jeans, i don't know how your mind works!!??) we all played twister then Mum went to Auntie Gills, Andy left late, i shuffled to bed like an old lady at 10.30pm to read new book Jill Mansell...........making your mind up..v.good.

Tuesday today, it's his lordships birthday.......for the next 8 months i am no longer a decade older than him, to celebrate we have a table booked at the Woodlands £40 a head v. posh restaurant, thank-you very much! it's only cash, you can't take it with you.

Jack fell down and broke his crown

2006-08-14T10:54:00.000Z

I'm going to keep this brief as not much has happened.

We went to the flicks on Friday night, after both having a disco kip (told you school night drinking was evil..some of the Thursday night party revellers even blobbed work on Friday), went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 at the showcase, it wasn't as good as the 1st one and was on a hell of a long time.

Dropped Andy home, i watched late night t.v and had some wine in my pyjamas with my cats round my feet...reight do!

Saturday i rose late and utilised my time as follows.... put my tint on my hair, made 2 sausage and bacon pies (Gordon Ramsey recipies 9th Aug), while watching BB eviction repeats through the hatch, door wide open for cats to play out.

Had a shower, then took Marlo and Jim a pie, ended up staying there for tea, then rushed home at 5.30pm to get ready for the engagement BBQ, sat on the sofa for 2hrs, till Andy phoned at 7.30 to say they'd only just finished cricket(they'd gone the full 100 overs) and was on his way home from Idle. He picked me up 8.15pm, we drove to Angela's and were the last to arrive out of maybe 40 or so pissed and stoned guests, what a car crash.
Andy was very proud of the fact that he'd had his beer in the freezer all day and it wa reight cold, that'd be "frozen" then.........Carling ice pop anyone?
I'd taken 8 ciders from the fridge, just to use them up..........past experiences of drinking cider? throwing bottles and arguing with AP wearing wet washing, you'd think i'd learn!

The party was complete mayhem, gave Katie her Champagne and chocolates, she was wearing a tiara/long white gloved combo affair!
Chris was mashed, Deano was dancing on his own, Matt looked rough as fook, Woz was mullered, i put my can down and he picked it up and started swigging from it, Guy and Carl were taking it in turned to cook burgers, Debbie was flitting round with trays of tequilla being the perfect hostess!
When she gets to you Karen........say NO!
Blacky was buttering me up to get a free pass to my works carpark,Waitey and co were firing Magners cider down at an alarming rate, Nic was asking me and Andy our middle names for the place settings for her and Carls wedding!
The garden was massive, someone called Weeble had done a sterling job of erecting the decking! note to self...........get yourself some mates named after 70's kids toys!!!
Lets cut to the chase, come midnight most people had fucked off,(including, one mullered Matthew who was insisting he take his left-over beer home with him) the stalwarts were inside dodging the rain, can't remember who was there, but Maria was being my bezzie mate, saying things like "you're lovely" and "i'd have thought you'd go out with somone louder than Andy"...Eh?
Maybe 20 odd folk left, now someone had broken the downstairs loo door (it had come off it's runners), so we're all trecking upstairs to take a leak, guess which twat fell down the entire staircase head first and rolled into the living room, much to the amusement of Mason, Blacky, Turner, Katie and every other fucker who was laughing at me!
Oh me.......... i was inconsolable, Andy had to take me home, so his dragging me by the hand, up the road, round the corner, pissing down with rain, every now and again, he gave me a crack round the back of the head for showing him up!
It wa'awful!

Next thing i know it Sunday, god i was dying! i'm gingerly asking what happened, he's laughing like a drain and saying "don't worry about it"... the cunt!
At least i don't have to see everyone for a fortnight, he left after some loving and making me get up to look for his sock, i slept off the shame, then did 2 wash loads, had some sausage pie, watched BBLB, then went back to bed, oh i didn't feel well..........do not let me drink, cider, tequilla and vodka in the same session ever again.
Sods law as soon as i dropped off, Andy phoned 8 times to see if i was going to the 20/20 cricket, NO..........i'm Poorly (and embaressed).
Slept till 7pm, then couldn't sleep last night......wonder why? watched Lost, BB, did my ironing and generally sulked! was still awake at 2.30am this morning, haven't had enough sleep........but being tired is much better than being hung-over!

You mark my words!

Didn't she do well?

2006-08-11T12:10:00.000Z

Said in the stylee of Bruce Forsyth.......

Hang on to your seats, i went out last night AND didn't get drunk!

I'm so mature and responsible, truth of the matter was.. i had a pounding headache, was tired like never before and stuck to weak shandies and lagertops all night!

Still it was a pleasant night, but I'm just not used to going out in the week, the later in the week it is, the more tired i am!

Wednesday as i said, Andy came up...he was poorly again, he didn't stay long..which was for the best, Ruth and Mark came up at 8pm and stayed till 10pm, had a good natter...watched Gordon Ramsey The F word ( i love this programme and try out the recipes, it rocks) however i was distraught to see Trinny and Susannah being slaughtered, the bottom lip was going!!! off they toddled home with their footspa, i was done in so watched BB in bed and was asleep v.early!

Yesterday i had a very lazy day, i was on my own at work for the majority of the day...took advantage by making appointments at the nurse, the beautitains and the hairdressers.........ordered Andy a personalised birthday card from www.moonpig.com, check out this site it's so cool!

T.time i called at Rach's with a cookie jar and cookies for her Birthday, Megan was funny as fook as she barricaded the door with her body, then started wailing when i left.......she doesn't even know me!!! home, did 76 skips, had my tea, watched the news about the failed terror attacks (how awful?) then dragged myself into town, was a right party pooper for the 1st hour, just sat yawning......while Rach, Dean, Ruth, Mark, Hayley, Spug, Matt etc sat and jabbered away excitedly!
Perked up a bit after another couple, then Tina, Beth arrived followed by the lads after bowls.........they'd played Royds park at home??? wtf??
So Andy, Woz and that bloke who doesn't want me to mention his name on here anymore for fear of repercussion! were stood with Jonny red, I've heard tales about this man and he makes me feel uneasy!

Woz left, with his lime green bowls in his bag, i'd spotted Graham Jackson (ex shag) at the bar earlier with some drinking pals, but gave him a wide berth......they were getting rowdier and rowdier, then the next thing we know, 1 lad pushes Jacko and he falls flat on the floor and his head goes with a right thud! he got up in alarm, rubbed his head and shot outside.
Spug went to see if he was alright???!! he came back in and the barmaid had informed us he'd weed his pants!!! i SO picked the right boyfriend....meanwhile me and AP are having cosy chats about just throwing the tent in the back of the car and setting up camp in a farmers field at bank holiday.

Oh yeah....i just remembered, the little bugger! i suggested we go this Sunday to look for a campsite in the Dales, he can't, as him and Deano are manning the BBQ at the 20/20 cricket...........he failed to mention this ! grrr!

It got to midnight and we were ready for off, we'd abstained for the game of 21........played by the hooligans who have probably blobbed work today.
Mark had bought Ruth her 3rd bottle of wine, the rest were all downing 2 fingers, supping pints down in one....etc! oh me!
Think Rach had exceeded her 3 pints and 2 WKD's she limited herself to.
Oh by the way, who was it who took photos of me in my cossie in Brid on Dean's phone?
Not Happy!

Me and the boy got home after the 12, then did a big crossword in bed (cough hiccup), could have cried for him as he set off to walk home at 1.30am!

I awoke at 6.30am today, nipped to the loo, then Luth wanted to get under the quilt with me, i wouldn't mind...but he dribbles, cat saliva on my clean bedding i do not need!
Fell back asleep and was up, hangover free at 8.30am!
Just had a call from Andy, v.tired and hung-over...........I've even to drive to the pictures tonight!
Struth.....boys! and their beer and their sport............make no wonder us women are the superior sex!

1st half of my week

2006-08-09T11:17:00.000Z

Monday I was tired and moggy, I sleep very well during the week, but if I have wine on a Sunday night, I'm up with the larks Monday a.m.

So i awake at 6.45am, need a wee.....then try to drop back off to sleep, but Donna's son next door who lives with his Grandparents (between you and me i reckon he doesn't even know Donna is his Mum), where was i? oh yeah, well they're a bit common my next door neighbours........they drive nice cars and are very clean, but they wouldn't think twice about having a slanging match in the street AND they own a ferret................work it out for yourselves.

I'm losing my thread here, well for the last few weeks, the Grandparents and the ugly little kid have moved in with Donna and Tony along with this big salivating dog. (i'm thinking their own house has burnt down, or they've been evicted, but something's amiss), anyhew the little cunt starting laking wi dog at 7.10am in the garden, throwing the ball for it...........i slammed my window shut and he nearly jumped out of his skin, that'll show him!

What I'm trying to say that going to bed at 1.30am and only having 5 1/4 hrs sleep is not enough to tackle a Monday.

I blogged most of the morning, went to the bank and got another parking ticket........i was foul as hell with Andy when he phoned at lunch, over the cricket etc........it turned out Katy and Chris had arranged it and he'd just bought a spare ticket, plus he hadn't enjoyed it......ha ha!
Monday dinnertime i went to M&S and spend £42 on the 2 engagement pressies, what a fooking liberty!
The afternoon dragged, the evening was quite uneventful, i had liver for tea and me and the boy watched Pirates of the Caribbean on DVD, bed after BB and read!

Tuesday was much better, although the days are still dragging........i think it's coz there's only 3 of us here, fannied around at lunch umming and ahhing whether to get the cats a new scratching post, resisted and saved my £34 for something else.
Was mad busy last night, from 6-8 i was vaccing, mopping, changing bedding, washing rugs and bedding, emptying bins, siding washing, then made chicken and veg, todays salad, flopped on the sofa after washing up, when Matt phoned for an hour. Phew!

Got off the phone at 9pm for Big Brother, then went to bed at 10 as i'd watched last weeks Lost, read a bit, nearly finished my book and was sound asleep at 11.30pm.

Nowt much to report r.e today, we're all in high spirits ...that'd be the 3 of us! i've got really bad back ache though, i think i need a firmer mattress.....boo!

So...forthcoming plans, seeing Andy tonight, Rach's bday tomorrow, think they'll be social beverages going on, Matt is home, so i need to brainwash myself into not getting leathered, as it's a school night!
Friday as far as i know, we're going to see the 2nd POTC at the Showcase and drinks afterwards, but all that could change.
Saturday is Katie and Chris's engagement BBQ in Angela's back garden.......elaborate affair then?
Sunday, might temp AP into schleking over to the Dales to look for campsites and have a nice Sunday dinner!
Watch this space!

Madchester, Bowls and Sunday serenity.

2006-08-07T10:44:00.000Z

Friday seems like 2 mins ago, where do weekends go?

I made good time in getting to Matt's on Friday evening, i was there on the dot of 7.30pm as we'd arranged, Paid my £14 to park, got to the flat and buzzed him, where was he? in the fooking pub.........i wasn't too arsed but threw a hissy fit for drama effects anyway. They were there within 5 mins, both leaving their pints, i was sat outside the Perival of the peak with a lagertop...so the boys came to join me, Richard was already 6 pints in front and Matt 4.
So me and Richard finally meet, he wasn't at all how i'd expected, but then doing people justice was never one of Matt's strong points.

We dropped our bags off at the flat, Matt threw away his weeks worth of rotting garbage into the litter bin outside the pub and off we set to the City road Inn, to karaoke......whoppee! all got a pint and realised there was no singing to be done in there as the karaoke man had blobbed! grrr!
Never mind Matt knows of another pub, over at the other side of Mancs (the Dark side) where we can sing. So we jumped in a cab and arrive at OH MY GOD, the worse pub in the world............the clientele? think Chatsworth estate and the Gallagher's! all inbred alkies, i kid you not...rough as fook, Rich fetched a book to pick a song, while Matt bought 3 pints straight from the drip tray. All the pages of the book were stuck together, it was filthy, closely behind the sticky black acky carpet..........the loos were on a par with the one from trainspotting, you get the picture? need i go on? we all sang one song each and were out of there like a rat up a drainpipe.

Walked to some random Tokyo karaoke bar, where it was full of wannabe Pop idol contestants, the seats were soaked in spilt lager, the toilets were as bad as the ones in the previous shit hole, they only sold fosters and the crisps were £2.50 a pack.
Still we were on a mission and wanted to flex our vocal chords. Rich sang Whatever, can't remember what RMS did, i tried to do From this moment, but the song broke 1/2 way through, so it all went a bit Pete Tong! Off we shuffled down the stairs, past the restaurant, down a bit, left a bit and suddenly we were at Churchill's, much better!!
We sat in the lounge side, had 3 more pints and a sambuka slammer shot thingy. Matt was ratted and went on to Kronenburg/coke mix......bleugh!!!
We sat there till 1am, talking about deep and meaningful, maudling topics as you do when you've sunk a gallon in the company of great mates.

Homeward bound via the kebab shop, i ate 2 onion bahjis while the boys waited for their burgers to be cooked, at the flat, the airbed was blown up, i got my p.j's on, got in bed then ordered them 2 out, poor Rich was scuttling past with a 1/2 eaten burger off to kip on Matt's floor.
Saturday i was up for a wee at 8am, fell back asleep on the sofa, heard Matt get up to go to the supermarket, then we were all up 11am, eating sausage butties and drinking coffee.
Rich is the slowest eater in the world, but then Matt had added 1/2lb cheese to his sausage butties, 1 1/2 hrs later, all dressed, i dropped the lads off at the cinema and i headed for the M60.
Home.........heaven! did a whites wash, bathed, sorted cats and napped for 2 hours, to be awoken by Andy phoning from the Cricket 146 times.
Had a random tea of toast with the following toppings! scrambled eggs, primula, jam and peanut butter, got ready and picked up Farquahario at 7.30pm in a taxi, to the club.
Now Andy had told me there was some kind of cricket do on with a BBQ, what he failed to mention was the (fun??!!) bowling match i was expected to join in with..................not this side of retirement!

Get fooked, call me a party pooper, which is exactly what i was, even Gill and Dave joined in, we sat out till gone midnight, slowly getting rangooned.. for once our girls.... moi, Katy, Spug, Hayley, Tina, Beth and Rach out numbered the wags...reight do!
Everyone was merry, Andy came to sit with us and was coming out with some corker one liners and having everyone in stitches. The little tinker, i was chatting t'in-laws trying not to appear too bevied. Poor Dave got stung for 1 of my rounds as he offered to buy me a drink, but i was getting Katy and Tina one. Mick was actually grafting behind the bar (shock horror), in the absence of Jenna.........Caroline took Woz home, as he was struggling to stand upright, I think Waitey won the bowls comp, but i wasn't really paying attention.
I don't know what the prize was, who gives a fook! i did have a burger though from the BBQ lit by Keith and manned my the miserable Speight's! it was alright........considering!

I came back from the loo and half our lot had nicked off into town, i was blind with drink, vaguely remember calling cabs, how Deano was still alive as he'd been on the pop since 10am at Bradford city, is beyond me! we dropped KF off at the top of her road, arrived home safely.. managed not to fall flat on my face like last week, up the apples and pears and i seem to recall some bedroom action, but i wouldn't put money on it!

Sunday... the alarm went off mid shag at 8.30am.....off he trots to Headingly to the cricket, i can't think of anything more boring than spending all day there, but what i am not happy about is that Clare got to be invited and i didn't, i have been stewing over this for the last 24 hrs and am going to let rip at dinner time when he phones.
I slept till lunchtime, then did a darks wash, went to Tescos and spent £32 mainly on fruit and veg (i've worked out you can buy approx 7 Mars bars for the price of a pack of asparagus) and god knows how many twix are equal to a pineapple. Home and unpacked the shopping, called at the parents with some hoisted samples for the church fayre (Mum was compiling anonymous letters to the filth for her new pass time).
Back home, Sarah phoned to ask my permission to go to Cadbury's world, (she's such a strange girl) bathed and changed, was going to phone Ruth, now back from her holidays and shout her a few drinks that night, but Marlo called cadging a lift over to my bearded Aunties in Methley.
Had quite a pleasant evening considering, Alan has really mellowed in his retirement and we kalled away like old friends, i was particulary gripped by his tales of the sunken war ships in the Orkney Isles, where when the sea is calm, like a millpond, on a clear day you can see the ships masts bobbing up and down in the water.....do, do, do,do..........how eerie?

But he is still quite eccentric and was trying to give me a full size tree, to take home in my car boot.
Home for 9.30pm, Mum wanted to go see Auntie Gill, but the car wasn't there.....so she came to mine for coffee and cream cake, i had shepherd's pie, on it's own, (too late to start steaming veg) after Mum left i watched a whole host of drek on t.v, had a few glasses of vino, read the Sunday papers and generally wound down after yet another mad busy drunken weekend..........it's a good job my body is a temple, Monday to Friday............otherwise i don't know where i'd be.
Selling Big Issue......probably!

Weds, Thurs, Fri.

2006-08-04T14:25:00.000Z

A very ordinary last couple of days......but they do say life is a Rollercoaster (well okay Ronan Keeting said it) so i wonder what the weekend will hold?

Wednesday evening...home at 6pm, i had to park my car up top as contracters were coming early doors to tarmac the drive (i aint getting up early to move it) 8pm me and the boy watched Mr & Mrs Smith on DVD, it wa'alright! Quite a nice night really!
Salmon for tea and we shared a howge bar of shortcake dairymilk......fat knackers!
Usual BB, bed and read.

Thursday morning i awoke thinking it was the weekend........gutted!

Work is quite pleasant at the moment, as I'm keeping my head down, playing chief sourcer, everything is tickety boo! whilst skiving i saw a trip on DP, to the races at Newmarket £139 for 2 nights Bed, Breakfast and evening meal in a 4* hotel............including entry to the grandstand enclosure and paddock.
Guess what it happened to fall on our 1yr anniversary, it's a sign...........phoned up v.excited and............it was fully booked........it's an omen! :o( i let Andy know what i was planning so he could join in the disappointment.......it's only fair!

Last night was well boring, Steven asked me to get a Chinese, but i was too lazy....that'll serve me. Before tea i decided to do 100 skips with my bingo win, so there i am in the living room, in my lycra catsuit (lime green), it wasn't pretty..........I'm puffing and panting, when the fooking neighbours called round to get me to bloody witness them signing some mortgage papers for the Halifax........sling ya ook......I'm doing me exercises!

Had my chilli, did my nails in a lovely plum shade, to match my burgundy corduroy outfit I'm wearing tonight, fake tanned (new brand, am looking rather orange, apart from my feet which are salmon pink......note to self...when bottle says exfoliate 1st, take heed!), then read magazines, watched t.v, packed my overnight bag for tonight, Matt txt....he now has a new phone.
Went up to bed at 10.30pm, watched the end of BB under the duvet, read 2 chapters and was dead to the world.

Having a good day today, it's the end of the week..........and on a positive note, the Jo Daki who's taxi i pranged, can't have been insured as we haven't heard a peep.

I have also decided to give up eating bread at work, as i'm always lethargic in the afternoon! Sushi, crackers, fruit and salads only,on the menu............until Leigh offered to shout me a KFC, grr! well it wasn't bread!
Only 3 of us here today and we're on wind down, just going to fill up on free fuel at the garage to go to Matt's tonight, Andy just phoned to say "have a good night, get as drunk as you like (no point in saying "don't get too drunk") i'll miss you and i'll see you tomorrow...........Awwww!

Thoughts on the week.

Minor scrapes in carparks are nothing to get upset about.
Seaside and great mates rock!
Steroid cream is rubbish.
Not being hungover on a Monday, just makes the week longer.
I'd be lonely without my cats.
I have a very cushy job.
You're never too old to need your Mum.
Lastly.....
What the fook are we going to do when BB is finished?

So that's it, 1 1/2 hours to go, need to be at Chepstow house for 7.30pm, god am i going to party tonight.

My belated weekend

2006-08-03T09:43:00.000Z

I've not blogged using my PDA for absolutely ages but having not managed to get blogging over the past three days, I'm going to have to do it in my own time.

I had a very exciting weekend and as usual it began on Friday. The newly formed University of Salford Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Group was having a Friday evening get together in Via Fossa on Canal Street. Sadly only 5 of us turned up but it was a nice evening nevertheless, even though the conversation was at times stilted and awkward well until we’d had a few drinks and began talking about frequency of having sex and whether it was acceptable to have sex only once a year after seven years, I think not!

At about 21.00 Andrew turned up after his last ever shift at Grosvenor Casino before his move back to Bradford and so shortly afterwards we waved goodbye to the Salford Lesbos and Gaybos and went off to meet some of Andrew's work-mates.

We went to the Overdraft Bar, paying £5 each to get in even though we only stayed for one drink and then headed off towards Poptastics with Andrew's work-friends, Carrie and Christian. We had a nice time there and the drinks were cheap but it was dead, I danced round like a mad person as I'd been drinking for so long but as it filled up I became more interested in eyeing up a cute gay lad who'd arrived with 2 mates and making sure nobody stole my bag – and there was a freak with his eye on it – the scamp. At 12.00 midnight Andrew and I said our goodbyes and trotted off to Churchills for a pint. I gave Andrew a going away pep talk which he viewed as a telling off but it wasn't but having said that I was advising him not to die of AIDS and not to gamble his life away which may have appeared accusatory perhaps I bought him a goodbye rose for old times’ sake and then we went clubbing to Cruz 101. It was OK but nothing special and Andrew never wants to dance which is a bummer so I only stayed till 2am, gave Andrew a goodbye hug and then went home with a nice chicken kebab.

At 8am Andrew turned up wanting to borrow a suitcase but was unimpressed with my old man's suitcase: it didn't even have wheels! In the end he borrowed a sort of holdall/suitcase combo. We left together and I bought him a goodbye McDonald's for old times’ sake (again) and left him to meet Michelle and Chris.

I met up at 9am on the dot with Michelle and Chris and Michelle's dad, Rod, at Moss Bros to try on suits for their wedding. Michelle's brother, Kevin and Chris's brother in law and best man, Steve and his son, Chris’s nephew, Stephen hadn't turned up so those of us there got suited up. Chris and Rod had a 3 piece morning suit with a pale blue weskit and I had the same but as toastmaster had a red weskit. Chris looked the part immediately and could have gone off and got married there and then, Rod was sweating like a pig and looked a bugger as he was given clothes too small to fit and I was the same but got a bigger shirt, then had my weskit made bigger, I was given bigger trousers and a bigger coat and then an even bigger coat and finally with 48" trousers and a 56" coat I looked the part. Phew!

We met up with Steve and Stephen and at my suggestion went to BhS for breakfast: 3 sausages, 2 rashers of bacon, a piece of black pudding, a hash brown, fried bread, beans and mushrooms and 2 slices of toast for £2.79. I was the hero - nobody could believe how cheap it was (although they fook you over on the drinks ... £1.20 for a tea bag and hot water!) Afterwards, Michelle and her dad went on their merry way (Michelle home with baby Harrison and Rod off to Morecambe to watch some footy) and the rest of us went back to Moss Bros to suit up Steve and Stephen (who spent most of his time with no top on, but he's 20 and 6'7" so that was no hardship) and then we went drinking!

In fact drinking was the primary aim of the day and we made the most of it. We had Stella, except Steve, who being 51, wisely moved to Foster's after 4 pints. We talked about allsorts including whether vaginas or anuses are better to fuck, the perceived problems with muslims, whether gayness was genetic, the best way to have anal sex, stag nights (oh and I got invited ... as well as to the hen night) and loads of other crap. We had 5 in the first pub, 4 in the next and 3 in the last. Chris had to be put in a taxi after 11 but the rest of us stayed and when Steve and Stephen went off to Prestwich,

I headed off. I wanted to go to Canal Street, but it was 8pm and I'd had 12 pints and so would have ended up so pissed by the time I saw anyone I knew than instead I went to Sainsbury's and then Tesco's. I stayed awake long enough to cook and eat and then was sparko - at about 9pm - and went to bed shortly after.

Sunday was a lazy day and for 8 hours, I lolled in front of the telly. Anyway at 7pm I got bathed, shaved and dressed and then left for karaoke at Churchill's. Nicole arrived after a few minutes and we had a great night. I sang Suspicious Minds, I do I do I do I do I do, The Wonder of You, The Lion Sleeps Tonight and Delilah.

Bumped into Wes and we had a nice chat. I’d not seen him for almost three months – he’d been avoiding me because he owed me £50 but he’d also been on remand for over a month. Anyway it was lovely to see him and he was looking very nice. He wanted to borrow £20 from me to con some cash out of someone but afterwards he bogged off and I didn’t see him again all night despite asking if he could stay at mine so he either pulled someone else or he was actually conning me – the devil – I’m going to have to kill him when I next see him, the cunt. In the end I went home at 1.40 and ended up watching the last ever episode of The West Wing, went to bed at almost 3am, with a slight tear in my eye wishing that Martin Sheen was the president rather than the fuckwit that’s got the jpb at the minute.

Doctors, nurses and close shaves

2006-08-02T10:15:00.000Z

Awoke 1st thing Monday with no hangover..........eh? oh yeah off for my bloods doing and have been fasting!
Bumped into Katy Farter who resides at the health centre due to her diabetes.......poor KF! Anyhew i nipped to see the nurse 1st with my attractive all over body rash........basically she didn't have a fooking clue what it was and told me to go back in the morning, had my bloods done downstairs (buzy bees fish batter swimming round my system) went on my merry way and was at my desk for 10am.

Lovely day, blogged and did my work..went to Crown point and Morrison's in my dinner.
Home for 6, usual.. tea, t.v, chatting to Matt, reading and in slumber for 12.

Tuesday day was not the best day I've ever had. Was at the health centre again at 8.40am, waited 1/2hr to be seen, he told me the rash that's springing up everywhere is the same incurable skin disorder that has been on my leg for the last 15 years....oh woe is me.
He gave me some strong steroid cream to try and said to go back in a fortnight, if no better to see the dermatologist at DGDH. Was moggy as fook, got in my car and in my haste to get out of the carpark, caught a taxis bumper!
(The taxi that happened to be delivery medicines and supplies to the screening clinic), the Pakistani gentleman was none too happy (it was my fault), but it was my tiniest scratch ever!
Gave him my details and sped off to work to face the music, got in and told David what happened then promptly burst into tears (eh? Menopausal? freaky snivelling girl!) aah though..talk about getting away with moyder......."what's up with you?, don't get upset over that, i'm not bothered, Leigh get him on the phone, don't worry these things happen!). Phew!
Stopped blubbing and txt AP, got back the following:
He won't be insured.
He'll be an illegal immigrant, you should inform the authorities.
You should have reversed and run over him.
They think they own the road.
They'll be on strike now.
It's not our fault they're no good at cricket! WTF??
And finally... are you alright?

Had a banging head for the rest of the day, spent my lunch hour in Reg cardy trying to get my car to make that grating noise to show the man from service deraprtment (it wouldn't do it when i wanted it to).
The afternoon dragged, not even Matt and Rich's email fratch about Robin Hood and King Arthurs grave kept me enthralled.
Cheered up no end once on the motorway, funny that! no garden to water due to sudden rain downpour, so bathed, p.j's, prepared some veg to go with tonights salmon, made a howge shepherds pie to freeze (took all the skin off the end of my finger with the cheese grater), sat down to my pie, chips, mushy peas and gravy, when Marlo came a visiting!

Bless my little Mum, we sat till 10.15pm, chatting about allsorts, drinking coffee, eating cornettos, swapping clothes, looking through wardrobe and laking wi cats. Off she toddles home, i put the ironing board up, ironed and washed up till 11pm, watching Lost though the corner of my eye, watched next weeks Lost on E4, bed at the midnight, read a bit, then put thick quilt back on bed....what's going on with this weather?

Much better day today, well so far!
Watching DVD's tonight with my man, i aim to do nothing but lay on the sofa.
Plans for the week ahead?
Just the 1....Friday evening i am to speed over the pennines to gan out with RMS and finally meet that Ricky P bloke from the big smoke.
HOW exciting?
They'll be some beer drunk that night!
You mark my words!